


What Lies Beneath

by East02End



Category: Ballum, EastEnders
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 67
Words: 85,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/East02End/pseuds/East02End
Summary: *Ben and Callum had been best friends for years. They knew everything about each other. They’d be together most of the time. They told each other everything. Except one thing Ben has been terrified of telling Callum. He was in love with him.Callum was oblivious to the fact that Ben loved him, not realising he was breaking his heart, when he told Ben he’d got a boyfriend.Ben doesn’t trust Tyler not one bit. It wasn’t just that he was Callum’s boyfriend. He didn’t know what it was, but he didn’t like him at all.*
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Callum “Halfway” Highway/Tyler Anderson
Comments: 366
Kudos: 400





	1. Chapter 1

Ben and Callum had been best friends for years. They knew everything about each other. They’d be together most of the time. They told each other everything.

Expect one thing Ben has been terrified of telling Callum. He was in love with him.

~*~

Ben took Callum to a new club they found, both of them drinking way too much.

They sat in a booth together, Ben only dragging up the courage because of the alcohol.

“Cal, I’ve been wanted to talk to you about something for ages...”

“Hmm?” Callum glanced at Ben, but was too busy looking at the bar.

“Erm...” Ben wrung his hands together, trying to find the words. He loved his best friend. Should he just say it? Try and explain? Ben sighed, looking at Callum whilst he was watching the bar.

He’d been in love with Callum for ages, years maybe.

“Your my best friend, Cal. I don’t want that change, cos you’ll always be my best friend whatever happens- Are you listening?”

“Course I am. Your my best friend, I know.” Callum glanced at Ben again, his gaze drifting back to the bar.

“Okay, good. Erm, your an amazing person, Callum and I’ve known you for a long time. Your kind and gentle and I am so lucky to have you in my life. You make me feel happy whenever your around. I don’t know what I’d do without, Cal. I don’t know how to you tell without freaking you out.” Ben groaned trying to spit his words out. “Argh! Basically what I’m tryna say-“

“I’m definitely not imagining it.” Callum whispered to himself.

“What you on about? Imagining what?” Ben frowned.

“That guy, he keeps looking at me.”

“Yeah?”

“No like _looking_ at me. He keeps smiling at me.” Callum gripped onto the top of Ben’s arm, grinning at him. “You think I should go over? You never know, he could be nice.” Ben glanced at Callum’s hand on him, looking back up.

“Trust you to be on the pull.” Ben smiled.

“I might just casually go to the bar.” Callum squinted, trying to work out his game plan. “Pretend I’m not going to check him out.” Callum nodded and stood up, more sure. “Yeah, I’m gonna do that.”

“Okay...” Ben whispered.

Callum sat down, squeezing Ben’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I’m not ignoring you. What were you saying?”

“Did you hear anything what I said?”

“Okay, maybe I was ignoring you.” Callum winced. “You were on about me being your best mate? Cos I definitely am. Don’t you go getting a new one.” Callum grinned. He glanced back at the bar quickly, checking to see if the man was still there.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. Was just saying your annoying cos you ignore me.” Ben grinned.

“Sorry...”

“It’s fine, honestly. You go meet your future husband.” Ben joked.

“Oh give over, it’s just a bit of fun. Your always moaning at me, I need to open my eyes to what’s in front of me. That guy is sitting right there, I’m not gonna miss my chance.”

“Yeah...” Ben picked his glass up, swirling the beer around in the bottom of the glass.

“You love me really.” Callum grinned at Ben, dashing away.

“Your not wrong there...” Ben whispered.

He didn’t know how to tell him. He didn’t know if he didn’t want to incase it scared Callum or because he was too much of a coward, trying to protect himself.

~*~

He watched Callum for a while, Callum laughing at something the man said, the man shuffling closer.

All he wanted was to tell Callum how he felt. Tell him he loved him. He wanted to see Callum’s eyes light up when he told him something. He wanted to see Callum laugh with him, not with another man. He wanted Callum to look at him the way he was looking at that man.

Ben sighed, downing the rest of his beer, sitting in the corner on his own.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two months since Ben and Callum went to the club. 

Ben looked up from his phone, when someone knocked on the door.

“It’s open!” He called. 

Ben waited to see who it was, spotting Callum, standing in the doorway. 

“Cal!” Ben smiled. “Why’d you knock on the back door for? You usually just walk in?”

“I just wanted to knock, cos I’ve got someone I want you to meet.” 

“Eh?” Ben squinted at Callum, his face dropping when another guy walked in behind Callum. 

Ben frowned, looking at Callum. 

“Who’s this? Some family member I don’t know about?”

“No. Tyler this is Ben, my best mate. Ben, this is Tyler.”

Ben looked between them both, before Callum finished. 

“My boyfriend...”

Ben’s blood ran cold, flicking from Tyler to Callum. 

“Y- Your boyfriend?” He cleared his throat, forcing a smile on his face. 

He walked over offering his hand to Tyler. “Ben Mitchell.” 

Tyler nodded gripping onto Ben’s hand a little tightly. “Tyler Anderson.” He squeezed Ben’s hand a little tighter before dropping it. 

Ben stepped back both of them staring each other down. 

Tyler was around the same height of Callum, a tallish guy. Dark haired, well built, with an annoying smug smile on his face. 

“Erm, you know that time you took me to the club?” Callum asked Ben, not noticing the initial tension. 

“Yeah?” 

“Well, I met Tyler there. You know that guy, I went over to? This is him!” Callum grinned. 

Ben finally looked away from Tyler to Callum instead. “And I’ve been seeing him since.” Callum finished. 

“So I guess I should thank you really.” Tyler told Ben. 

“Me?” 

“Well if you hadn’t taken him to the club, I would never have met this charming man here.” 

Ben glared at Tyler, wrapping his arm around Callum’s waist pulling him closer.

“Oh stop it.” Callum blushed. “Charmin’? Pfft.” 

“Course you are. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you.” 

Callum smiled at Tyler, remembering how much he liked Tyler on that first night at the club. How charming Tyler was himself.

“I wanted to see you again, after that night. And I’m glad I did.” Tyler smiled. “I’ve really got to know you over these last couple of months.”

“Coffee?” Ben smiled, feeling a little queasy, at them both gazing at each other. 

“That’d be great.” Tyler muttered, looking at Callum smiling at him. 

Ben smiled at them both, walking past them both, glancing at Callum gripping onto Tyler’s hand both of them still smiling at each other. 

Ben’s smile instantly disappearing when he got in the kitchen. 

He slammed three mugs onto the countertop, slamming the switch down on the kettle too. 

Ben braced his hands on the countertop, dropping his head down. He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes. 

His boyfriend. Callum had a boyfriend. 

He let out a shaky breath, cursing himself for never building up the courage to tell Callum how he felt about him. And now he never could. As long as Callum was happy, then Ben would help keep him that way. Callum’s happiness was all that mattered to him. 

Ben jumped, when he felt a hand on his back, looking up at Callum. 

“You okay? You look exhausted.” Callum frowned. 

“Yeah, course I’m okay. Just tired.” 

“I’m sorry, I sprung it on you, I was just a little excited. I wanted you to meet him.” 

“I have now.” Ben overly smiled. 

“Let me help.” Callum offered, nodding to the coffee mugs. 

“It’s just coffee.” 

Callum ignored him, grabbing the milk from the fridge. 

“You put milk in your coffee now?” Ben frowned, both of them always drinking it black. 

“Tyler likes a little milk.” 

“Oh. Right. Tyler.” 

Callum stood with his back against the countertop, Ben standing next to him still bracing his hands on the top. 

“I’m not gonna start ignoring you, by the way. I’d never not love you. Your my best mate and always will be. No ones gonna change that.” 

Ben looked up at Callum, smiling at him. 

“Yeah. I guess I love you too.” Ben rolled his eyes, jokingly, grinning at Callum. 

Ben knowing damn well, they both meant different things. Callum loved Ben as a friend. Ben loved Callum with all his being. 

“I just wanted you to know, that I’ll always be here.” Callum smiled. “Your still the annoying Ben Mitchell I know and love. And you’ll always be my best friend.” 

“Yeah, but if he puts a foot outta line or in fact crosses any lines, hurts you in any way, he’s got me to answer to.”

They grinned at each other, Callum laughing. 

“I know who to come too.”Callum smiled. 

Ben smiled at Callum, his smile reaching his eyes, that twinkle in his eye. He wished he’d told him before how he felt and now he could never. 

“I doubt I will though, he’s a really nice person. You’ll like him, when you get to know him. We’ve got so much in common. It’s like he knows me already. Not as much as you though.” Callum grinned. “You know me inside out.”

Callum held his arms out, Ben smiling at him, as Callum wrapped his arms around him. 

Ben closed his eyes, the familiar scent of his aftershave flooding his senses, as he rested his head on Callum’s chest. They stayed together for a while, both rocking from side to side. 

“Well, this is cosy.” 

Ben pulled away from Callum, spotting Tyler in the doorway. 

“Oh, just letting Ben know, I’m not gonna abandon him.” Callum smiled. 

“He is your best friend.” Tyler smiled, watching Ben instead. 

Ben glared at Tyler, as Callum handed Tyler his coffee, walking to the living with him. 

“I remembered you liked a little bit of milk, it’s only taken me months!” 

“Aah, that’s the one thing I look for in a boyfriend. Whether they can remember if I like juust a little bit of milk.” 

Ben stood alone in the kitchen, closing his eyes briefly, hearing Callum laugh with Tyler. 

He sank down on a chair, in the kitchen, his legs unable to hold him up anymore. 

Ben held his hand over his mouth, trying to keep his sobs quiet, his tears slipping down his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben sorted himself out, drying his eyes, following Callum and Tyler in the living room, with his coffee. 

He let out a shaky breath at them both sitting on the sofa together, Callum laughing at something Tyler just said. 

Ben crossed the room slowly, sitting down opposite them in the armchair, forcing a smile onto his face. 

No one spoke for a while, just sitting looking at each other. Ben wishing a hole would open up and swallow him. 

“So, what’s drawn your to my Callum then?” Ben asked to fill the silence. 

Tyler frowned at Ben. “Your Callum?”

“I just meant as a friend? Obviously.”

“Yeah! Don’t mind us, we’re like an old married couple.” Callum smiled. “We laugh, we argue, wherever I am, Ben is usually with me and vice versa. We fall out over stupid stuff but I’d be lost without Ben.”

Tyler squinted at Ben, Ben staring him down. 

“Same. Life wouldn’t be same without you, Cal.”

They smiled at each other, Tyler’s gaze flicking rapidly between them. 

“Erm, well, I was obviously drawn his good looks.” Tyler smiled. 

Callum smiled at Tyler, looking away from Ben. 

“Pfft, your joking right?” Callum blushed. 

“Nope.” 

Ben glanced at Tyler’s hand slipping onto Callum’s thigh. 

“What do you think, Ben?” Tyler asked, turning his attention back to him. 

“What?” Ben tore his gaze away from Callum holding his hand over Tyler’s, looking up at Tyler. 

“You think Callum’s good looking? He doesn’t believe me.” Tyler squinted at Ben, waiting for his answer. 

“Erm... Yeah, I guess so...” 

“Cheers.” Callum grinned. “You guess so? I’ll be sure to put that on me dating profile. Looks? I guess so. Average. Meh.” 

Ben smiled at Callum. Course he thought he was good looking. He was beautiful inside and out. He was an amazing person and thought the world of Callum. They ways his eyes sparkled. His smile, that reached his eyes. His cute laugh. 

“You don’t need a dating profile anymore, though?” Tyler smiled. 

“I guess I don’t, no.” Callum grinned back. 

“What about you?” Ben asked, trying to work out Tyler. He hated him already. He wasn’t sure, whether, he didn’t like him because he was with Callum, or because if something else. He didn’t trust the guy. 

Callum never seemed to notice the tension between them both, too happy he’d got his boyfriend and his best friend to get on. 

“Me? Oh, I’m a very boring person really.” Ben frowned at Tyler, being very vague. 

“Callum doesn’t do boring.” Ben smiled. “He’s always doing stuff at a hundred miles an hour.”

“Do I?” Callum grinned. 

“You sure do.”

Tyler kept watching them both grinning at each other. 

“I wouldn’t say dead boring, I mean I’m up for whatever Callum wants to do.” Tyler added. 

“Me and Ben always find every new club or pub in London. We always go to ones we’ve never been to before. It’s fun, just something we like to do together.”

“Maybe we should find something we like to do together.”

“Yeah, i’d like that.” Callum smiled. 

“Don’t you go stealing my best friend now, will you?” Ben told him, smiling overly at Tyler. A silent warning. 

“Course he won’t, Ben. Your my one and only.” Callum smiled, being sarcastic. 

“Just checking.” Ben grinned. 

“You know Tyler, owns his own company?” Callum told Ben. 

“What is it?”

“Erm... I forgotten now, it’s too fancy for me? You tell him Ty.”

Ty. They’d even started using nicknames already. 

Ben glared at Tyler, seriously wanting someone to kill him, as he told him about his job. Why would Ben care? He didn’t. But he smiled overly at them both anyway, pretending to be listening. 

“It’s not that fancy! I work in property management. I own houses and flats and other places. I own em all and sell them.”

“Pretty rich then? Owns whole houses? Streets probably. And if it’s your company.”

“Ben!” Callum glared. 

“What? I’m just saying. He’s minted! It’s true!”

Tyler smiled at Ben. “I guess so. Anyway, we best be going.”

“Now?” Ben and Callum both said at the same time at Tyler’s sudden decision. 

“We’ve only just got here?” Callum smiled. 

“Oh, I just wanted to just you something.”

“You don’t mind if I go do you, Ben?” Callum looked at Ben, waiting for an answer. 

“Course not! It’s your life...”

“Okay!” Callum grinned, turning back to Tyler. “Where you taking me?” 

Ben sighed, looking at Callum bouncing around, getting excited. 

“It’s a surprise, come on.”

Tyler took Callum’s hand, leading his across the room. 

“I’ll see you soon.” Callum told Ben. 

Ben nodded, watching Tyler practically drag Callum away from him. 

“Control freak.” Ben muttered to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

‘Meet me at the flat?’

Ben smiled at Callum’s message. He’d not seen him in over a week, something unusual for the two of them. 

‘I’ll be there in five.’

~*~

Ben let himself into Callum’s flat. He’d given Ben the key ages ago.

Callum gave Ben a hug at the door, before going to grab them both two beers. 

“You know we’ve practically been to every pub and club in London?” Callum grinned. 

“Oh my god, you’ve found another one haven’t you?!” Ben grinned, getting excited. 

“Yess! It only opened yesterday. I want you to come with me.”

“Where is it?”

“It’s a bit further away, but I thought we could go anyway, just the two of us.”

“No Tyler?” Ben asked hopefully.

“Nope. I know I’ve been neglecting you, lately. But I want you to come with me, no one else.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m in.” Ben smiled. 

“We might wanna go now.”

“Now? It’s like five in the evening? Clubs don’t open til late??”

“It’s four hours away...”

“Four?!”

“We’ve been to all the rest around here! It’s not in London this time and I’ve heard it’s really good! Come on! Just me and you for the night.”

Ben nodded quickly. He couldn’t argue with that. 

“Come on then! It’ll be closed by the time we get there!” Callum grinned at Ben. 

Callum hurried over to Ben taking his beer from him and placing his and his own in the side, before grabbing his hand and dragging him outside. 

A simple gesture, but Ben felt like he was going to pass out every time he touched Callum. It just felt amazing. 

He only realised he was still holding it when they waited outside for a taxi. 

Callum didn’t seem to notice either, both them just standing there holding each other’s hands. 

He only dropped it when Callum loosened his grip when the taxi arrived. 

“This is gonna cost a fortune for the taxi.” Callum grinned. “Oh well!”

Callum jumped in, Ben following. 

“We can’t go in my car, Cal, we’ll be stuck there for the night or get arrested for drink driving.” Ben chuckled. 

“I’d get arrested with you any day.” Callum grinned. 

Ben smiled at Callum, his smile vanishing when Callum smiled at something on his phone. 

“Tyler?” Ben asked. 

“Yeah, just wondering what I’m up to tonight. Told him I’m with you today.”

Ben nodded, glad they’d left before Tyler could tag along. He didn’t trust him, not one bit. 

“We could always get a hotel?” Callum murmured to himself. 

“Overnight, like we did before?”

“Your taking the sofa though, cos you’ve got shorter legs than me, so you’ll fit on better.”

“Stop picking on me! It’s not my fault I’m shorter than you! I think you’ll find, I’m taking the bed!”

“If you say so.” Callum grinned. 

“Your gonna take the bed anyway aren’t you?”

“Yup. I’m not paying for two rooms either. Just thought it’d be easier, then we come home in the morning.”

Ben nodded, smiling at Callum. 

~*~

“Ben!” Callum hissed. 

Ben looked up at Callum, shaking his head of his thoughts. 

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Ben frowned. 

“Are you okay? You look miles away.”

“Erm, yeah, I’m good. What was it?”

“Oh.” Callum grinned. “I brought these with me. You’ll have to hide it from the taxi driver though.”

Ben grinned at Callum, giving him a bottle of vodka. 

“Your a bad influence on me, Cal.”

Ben took it anyway, both of them giggling like children. 

~*~

They both stumbled out of the taxi, at the other end, already tipsy, from drinking the vodka between them. 

Callum took another gulp, handing the bottle to Ben, who took a swig too. 

“Have you been drinking that on the way here?!” 

Ben turned around, looking at the taxi driver, glaring at them both. 

“No...” Ben winced. 

The man glared at them, driving away.

“Whoops.” Callum grinned. 

“You were the one that said don’t get caught!” Ben shoved Callum to the side, grinning at each other. 

“YOU were the one that was waving it around, for him to see!” Callum pushed Ben back the other way. 

“Oi! Stop doing that!” Ben shoved Callum away from him, Callum glaring at him, grabbing Ben and pulling him to him. 

“Stop attacking me then!” Callum grinned. 

Ben’s smile disappeared, looking up at Callum, still grinning at him. 

“What?” Callum frowned. 

“Nothing.” Ben took Callum’s arms from around his waist, taking a step away from him. He couldn’t trust himself not to do anything stupid anymore. “We gonna go inside or what?”

Callum grinned at him, disappearing inside. 

Ben stood there for a while, thinking how different it could have been if he’d told him the truth and he hadn’t found someone else. 

Ben looked up at Callum, appearing back outside. 

“Come on! What you standing there for? The drinks are in here?” He grinned. 

“I’m coming!” Ben smiled, following him. 

~*~

They’d sat together at the bar all night, trying different drinks, getting more and more drunk. 

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Ben saw the way Callum’s face lit up when Tyler sat next him, pressing a kiss to the side of Callum’s head. 

“Tyler! What you doing here?” 

There was a split second where Callum thought Tyler had followed them. Then immediately dismissed it. Why would he do that?

“Well, I imagine you have a drink in a club? Two more pints, love.” Tyler added to the woman behind the bar, as he sat as close as possible to Callum. 

“Three?” Callum added. 

“Oh, right three. Didn’t see you there, Ben.”

“I told you I was going out with Ben tonight?” Callum frowned. 

“Oh, yeah.” Ben glared at Tyler, Callum not noticing. 

“Look, I’m just gonna go. Third wheeling and all that.” Ben sighed. 

“Arr, Ben don’t go!” Callum whined. “Thought you were having a good time.”

“I was- am, but I don’t wanna be in the way of you two.”

“Your not! Is he Tyler?!”

Callum looked at Tyler, waiting for him to say something. 

“If he wants to go, Callum...” Tyler shrugged, looking back at Ben. 

“Fine.” Callum huffed. “I thought we were gonna stay somewhere overnight?”

“You were?” Tyler frowned. 

“We were gonna find a hotel somewhere and then come home in the morning, cos it’s like hours away.”

“I just want to go home.” Ben told him. 

Callum frowned at Ben. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why would there be?”

“Yes, there is Ben. I know you and there’s definitely something wrong.”

“I think that cocktail didn’t agree with me. I’ll be fine, when I get home.” The only plausible excuse he could come up with now. 

Callum nodded, still searching Ben’s face.   
“Text me when you get home, yeah?”

Ben nodded, standing up. Callum stood too, wrapping his arms around him.

Ben saw the way Tyler glared at him, because he was hugging Callum. 

Ben pulled away, keeping his hands on Callum’s shoulders. “Make sure you get home safe. I’ll text you later.”

“I will.” 

“He’s got me.” Tyler smiled. Callum smiled at him, Tyler wrapping his arm around around me Callum’s waist. 

Ben ignored Tyler, squeezing Callum’s shoulder before leaving them both to it. 

~*~ 

He stood outside on his own, waiting for a taxi. He closed his eyes sighing to himself. He was already losing Callum to another person. 

He knew it would be different if either of them found anyone. Callum was always trying to find someone for Ben, but he was never interested. Telling him the person wasn’t his type or some other excuse he could think of. 

Ben smiled to himself remembering what Callum had said to him once. 

‘Argh, your so picky, nowadays. You never used to be! I’ll go out with you myself if no one else is to your liking!’ 

He could remember the grin on Callum’s face. Ben never saying anything about it, because they were both so drunk. He wished it were that easy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve added warnings now, cos I think it’s appropriate for the situation. Please don’t read this if it will trigger anyone!

“How much have you drank?!” Tyler asked, watching Callum stumbling over to a empty table for them both. 

“Not that much! Why are you drinking less than me?” Callum frowned. 

“I’m not? Your just a lightweight.”

“Am not! I just seem to be drinking twice as much as you?”

“Your so drunk Callum, you haven’t got a clue.” 

Callum shrugged downing a shot, Tyler grinning at him. 

~*~

They both stumbled back to the bar awhile later. Callum mainly stumbled, Tyler sort of carried him, seeming pretty much sober compared to Callum. 

Callum practically lay across the bar, hardly aware of anything anymore, drinking more. 

Tyler would always have something lighter, a pint maybe and Callum always have something twice as strong, a shot or double vodkas or whiskeys. 

“See that bar woman?” Tyler nodded over to a woman smiling at him.  
“She’s been wafting her eyelashes at me all night.” 

“Go over, take her home.” Callum giggled to himself, totally pissed by now. 

Tyler leaned closer to Callum, his too strong aftershave filling Callum’s nose. “She’ll be disappointed when she finds out, I’m not that way inclined.”

Callum gasped, grinning at Tyler. “Your... was’ it called?... gay!” Callum said a little too loudly. “Your gay?”

“I think you’ve had way too much to drink, you have no idea what your saying.” Tyler smiled. 

“I know!” Callum laughed.

“Your do realise your sitting right here, next to your boyfriend. I’m pretty sure your gay too.”

“Eh?” Callum squinted at Tyler, trying to see him clearly. “Shit, I think I’ve gone blind.” Callum moaned. 

“No, you’ve drank enough to clear the whole club.”

Callum laughed to himself, Tyler smiling at Callum every time he laughed, making Callum smile at him even more. 

Callum stood up, Tyler standing too. “Woah.” He gripped onto Tyler’s arm, swaying slightly, the room spinning.

“Where you goin’?” Callum frowned at Tyler walking forward, when Callum let go. 

“Think we need to get you home.”

“Noooo, need a weeee.” Callum replied, giggling to himself. “Then I’m gonna have something else to drink! You need to live a little have something more exciting than boring pints. Ben would have whatever I was having.”

“Ben isn’t here though, is he?”

“Ben’s fun.” Callum huffed. “You scared him away.”

“He chose to leave. Come on, Callum, you’ve drank way too much, I need to get you home.”

Callum walked away slowly, feeling slightly dizzy, until a couple of other drunk people stumbled by knocking him over. 

But Callum didn’t hit the ground, Tyler was there, instantly. One arm wrapped around Callum’s waist the other hand laced through his hair, holding his head. 

“Be careful where your walking!” Tyler hissed. 

Callum smiled up at Tyler as he pulled Callum back up, sitting him down in a chair in the corner. 

“Thanks. You don’t need to be so annoyed, it was just an accident.”

“You definitely need to go home.” Tyler told him instead, ignoring him. 

“Need a taxi.” 

“I’ll call us one. To your flat?” Callum nodded, watching Tyler, disappearing for a minute. 

He returned, sitting next to Callum. “Just got to wait for a bit, shouldn’t be too long.” 

Callum nodded. “Feel sick.” He moaned. 

“That’s cos you’ve drank too much! You look a bit out of sorts now, ‘ere...” 

Tyler moved a loose piece of hair out of Callum’s face, that had fallen loose from his gel, after being knocked over, his hand hovering there for a few moments longer as he locked eyes with Callum’s. 

“What?” Callum frowned. 

“Nothing.”

“You look like your working something out?”

“No...”

Callum shrugged, looking away from Tyler. 

~*~ 

Tyler held Callum up as he stumbled out of the taxi frowning at his unfamiliar surroundings. 

“Thought you said we were going to my flat?” Callum asked, searching Tyler’s face. 

“Did you? You definitely said my house.”

“I did?” 

“Yeah?” Callum squinted at Tyler. He looked genuinely confused, so Callum shrugged his shoulders and turned around. 

“Which one is it then? Loaded guy like you, bet it’s that massive one over there.” Callum pointed to a house, across the street. 

“It’s home.” Tyler smiled. 

“It’s actually that one? I’d take that over my flat any day.” Callum grinned, swaying up the path to the door, Tyler following behind, letting them both in. 

Tyler had been round to Callum’s flat a couple of times, but he’d never been to Tyler’s house. 

Callum looked around in awe, before collapsing onto the sofa. He could fit about ten of his flat in here. 

Tyler disappeared again, but returned with two coffees, that neither of them wanted. 

“Thought you might need sobering up.” 

Callum smiled gratefully, cradling it in his hands, warming them up from being outside, drinking it. 

It barely did anything, he’d drank that much alcohol, Callum would probably have to drink a jug before he even started to sober up. 

Callum didn’t even know how far away from home he was, now he was at Tyler’s house instead. 

Callum frowned to himself, sure he’d told Tyler his address, but he bought Callum here anyway. 

Callum shook his head, putting it down to being so drunk. 

Tyler stood up, taking Callum’s mug from him and disappearing into the kitchen, before returning and sitting right next to Callum, their fingers touching slightly. 

They both looked down at them, both looking up at each other again, before Tyler slowly curled his fingers around Callum’s hand. 

He smiled at Callum, cupping one side of his face in his other hand. 

Tyler brought Callum closer to him, kissing him softly. Tyler’s gaze never leaving Callum until their lips met and he closed his eyes. 

Callum felt himself being pushed back down against the sofa, as Tyler pushed his legs apart, sliding in between them, lowering himself onto Callum’s body. 

“I don’t...” Callum started. He certainly didn’t feel well enough to do anything right now. 

Tyler kissed him anyway, ignoring him, undoing Callum’s belt. 

“I can’t...” Callum pushed Tyler up slightly, as he lay on top of Callum grinning at him.

“I can’t help it. Not my fault your too good lookin’.” 

“I don’t feel well.” Callum moaned, closing his eyes. 

Tyler slowly leaned back down, his whole body melting into Callum’s kissing along his jaw. Callum let him for a while, stopping him again, when he unzipped Callum’s jeans, pulling them down slightly. 

Callum pushed his hands against Tyler’s chest again, lifting him up slightly. 

“Slow down... I really can’t be bothered now. I just want to sleep.” Callum smiled at him, as Tyler smiled warmly back at Callum. 

“I need you now, Callum. You just relax. I can’t help myself, your amazing.”

Callum’s smile grew wider as Tyler tried to kiss him for the fourth time. 

“Ty...”

“Shh, don’t spoil it. Your the most lovely thing. You turn me on so much...”

Callum finally let Tyler wrap his arms around him pulling Callum closer into his body. Callum sighing, kissing him back. 

It’s what they both wanted, wasn’t it?


	6. Chapter 6

Callum groaned, opening his eyes slowly, pushing himself up. He head was killing him, the room spinning. 

“Where the hell am I?” Callum looked around the room, frowning to himself. 

He looked like he was in a castle or something. A kingsized bed, in a massive room. 

“Mornin’ Princess.” 

Callum looked at Tyler propping himself up on his elbow, smiling at him. 

Callum frowned slightly, not sure why he was here or where he was. 

“Your in my house. You have no idea do you?”

Callum shook his head slowly. 

“Where’s Ben?” Callum asked. 

“Ben?! He’s at home, Callum.” Tyler sighed sitting up next to Callum. 

“I thought...” He was sure they were meant to be going to a hotel for the night. 

“He went home and left you with me.”

“He left me?” 

Tyler looked at Callum for a while, nodding slowly. 

“Oh. I thought he’d have stayed...”

“Drank a dodgy drink. Didn’t feel well.”

Callum nodded, relying on Tyler to tell him what happened. “How come you were there?”

“A friend told me about a new club, so I thought I’d check it out myself, if you were out with Ben. It just turned out, you were at the same one as me.”

Callum searched Tyler’s face for a while, nodding. Seemed simple enough. 

“Can you not remember anything about last night?” Tyler asked. 

Callum squinted at him, trying to remember. 

“Erm, I remember being in a taxi with Ben. And...”

He looked at his lap, frowning to himself. “And when he was holding onto me, before we went inside. He was looking up at me and then he looked sad...”

“Holding onto you?”

Callum nodded, turning his attention back to Tyler. “That’s it. I can’t remember you turning up, or bringing me here. I don’t know what happened after that.”

Tyler nodded smiling at him. 

“What happened?” Callum asked. 

“I brought you back here, to keep an eye on you, cos your were so drunk, I didn’t want to leave you on your own at the flat.” Tyler stroked a piece of hair from Callum’s face. “I wanted to look after you.”

Callum smiled at him, nodding, presuming that was what happened. 

“You have a lovely smile.”

Callum’s smile spread further as, Tyler shuffled closer to him, tangling his fingers in Callum’s hair, pulling Callum to his lips, pressing open-mouthed kisses over and over onto his mouth. 

He pushed Callum gently onto his back, sliding on top of him, as he let Tyler do everything he wanted to do to him. 

He’d try and remember later. 

~*~ 

Callum woke up again a while later, Tyler asleep this time. 

He picked his phone up from the side, frowning at about fifty messages from Ben. 

B- ‘I’m home. Told you I’d remember to text you. :) Hope your okay?’

Remember to text him what? Callum thought. 

B- ‘Did you get home safe?’

An hour later another worried text. 

B- ‘You did get home, right?’

Callum frowned at a few looking like that. He’d not replied all night, Ben was probably frantic by now. 

B- ‘I’m worried about you now. I’ve been to your flat? Is Tyler with you? He hasn’t left you somewhere has he?’

He looked at Tyler asleep, confused. He thought he said Ben left him? 

Tyler yawned, pushing himself up next to Callum again. 

“What’s up?” Noticing Callum’s frowned expression. 

“You said Ben left, right?”

Tyler nodded. 

“Was this before you got here or after?”

“After.”

“He just seems really worried about me. Like he’s not sure where I am? Did you not tell him I was coming here, cos he’s probably stressin’?”

“Think he knew? He’s a bit needy.”

“He’s my friend! I’d be worried if I didn’t know where he was. It’s just he seemed to think I was coming home.”

“I can’t believe you can’t remember anything.” He said instead. 

Callum placed his phone back on the side, frowning at Tyler. 

“How much did I drink? I don’t usually forget?”

“Quite a lot? Probably the whole club?”

“That much?”

“Something like that. Wait, there.” Tyler told Callum, before shuffling off the bed and disappearing. 

Callum took his phone again, sending a text to Ben. 

C- ‘I’m at Tyler’s house. Sorry I worried you. Tyler said I got here and passed out. I can’t remember a thing!’

B- ‘Thought he’d left you or something! I was worried. You never usually get that bad?’

C- ‘That’s what I thought? I remember going into the club with you, then it’s a blank after that? Guess I drank more than I thought?? Or drank something dodgy.’

Callum sat up, waiting for Tyler and was surprised when he came back, with breakfast. 

“Oo, your spoiling me now.” Callum grinned at Tyler, as he slid back under the covers next to Callum. 

“You not havin’ anything?” Callum asked, when he noticed Tyler wasn’t having anything. 

“Nah, I like looking after you instead.” Callum smiled at him, Tyler smiling back. 

When Callum had finished, he placed the tray on the floor, before opening his arm out for Callum to nestle into. 

Callum rested his head on him, closing his eyes, as he traced his hand down Callum’s sides. 

They lay together for a while, the shapes Tyler was tracing on him sides, making Callum sleepy. 

Tyler startled Callum slightly, when he felt him pushing him to the side, wrapping his arms around him, keeping Callum where he was. 

“Again?” Callum smiled at Tyler anyway, as he laced his fingers through his hair, pulling Callum’s head closer to him, pressing their mouths together.


	7. Chapter 7

Callum let himself into Ben’s house, walking into the kitchen. He still felt weird, coming straight here when Tyler brought him home. His hangover giving him a headache, he couldn’t shake off.

“Ben?”

“I’m in here!” Ben called. 

Callum followed Ben’s voice to the living room, Ben greeting him with a smile. 

“You okay?”

“Will be. Still feel a bit queasy.”

“No Tyler?” 

“He’s at work. Don’t ask me what he does all day, not a clue? Sounds boring to me.”

“You feeling better now?” Ben asked. 

Callum sat down next to Ben on the sofa, frowning to himself. 

“I don’t understand why I can’t remember?” Callum muttered. 

“I thought someone had kidnapped you or something.”

“No. Someone could have murdered me and I wouldn’t remember.”

“That’s cos you’d be dead.” 

They both grinned at each other, Ben standing up. 

“Where you goin’?” 

“Beer.”

“Argh! Don’t even say the word. Or cocktail or alcohol. And it’s literally the morning, Ben.”

“Not like we’ve taken part in a bit of daytime drinking before.” Ben smiled. 

“Just don’t say anything drinkable, I can’t.”

Ben frowned at Callum, sitting back down next to him. 

“You can have one though!”

“Nah, I’m alright. I’m not if your not. Did you drink anything from someone else?”

Callum shook his head, trying to remember. 

“I don’t know, at least Tyler was there.”

Ben doesn’t say anything at that, asking him something else instead. 

“You only had your drink all night?”

“Erm, what I can remember yeah?”

“So you could have been spiked? Didn’t Tyler notice?”

“He doesn’t know what I get like when I’m drunk. He probably thought I’d just drank too much. I think I have.

“Maybe. But you’ve never just forgot? Your okay now though?”

“Yeah, think so. You should have seen his house, though. It was massive!”

Ben rolled his eyes, Callum noticing. 

“What?”

“Nothing. Just think he’s a bit flash isn’t he?”

“He owns his own company, Ben. He’s bound to have a lot of money. And before you say anything, no, I’m not in it for the money.”

“It never crossed my mind! It’s just something about him.”

“Why can’t you be happy for me, Ben?” Callum sighed.

“I am! God, I am, really. That’s all I want. For you to be happy.”

“You seriously needs to find yourself someone, cos I don’t think I can look at your miserable face for much longer.” Callum grinned. 

“I’m not miserable! It’s him, there’s just something about him I don’t like.”

“You’ve met him twice, Ben!”

“So? First impressions and all that?!”

“I probably hated you when I first met you! You were so annoying! Still are!” Callum laughed.

“Charming.”

“I’m just saying that you shouldn’t just jump to conclusions. He’s nice.”

“Just nice?”

“Yes, Ben, I don’t know everything about him yet, do I? I’m not just gonna fall in love when I’m still learning stuff about him am I?” 

Ben felt physically sick, at the prospect of Callum actually falling in love with someone else. 

“He said you just left?” Callum frowned.

“I didn’t just leave! You knew I was going? You don’t remember that either?”

Callum shook his head, searching Ben’s eyes. “Why can’t I remember last night?” He whispered. 

“I don’t know, Cal. I should have stayed and brought you home.”

“You had a dodgy drink, thought you didn’t feel well?”

“Eh?” Ben frowned, forgetting the excuse he came up with. 

“Dodgy drink?”

“Oh! Yeah, just wanted to go home. Wish I didn’t now, you still look a bit rough.” He’d only left to get away from Tyler. He wished he’d stayed with Callum now.

“Do still feel sick. Got a banging headache n’all.”

“Go upstairs for a bit.” Ben suggested. “Can keep an eye on you then, incase you need anything.”

“Nah, I can’t nick your bed.”

“I’m not using it am I? Just go to bed, Cal. It’s not like you’ve done it before.”

Callum nodded, standing up slowly. 

“You okay?” Ben stood too, Callum holding onto him. 

“Mmm. Dizzy.”

“Well, my hangovers usually last the whole day.” Ben grimaced. “With what you drank, you’ll be lucky if your sober this time next week.”

“This ain’t funny, Ben.” Callum huffed.

“I’m not laughing. You could have done something stupid like walk in front of a car for all I know.”

“I had Tyler with me.”

“Yeah, I know, but you we’re still wasted. You go on up, I’ll bring you some water up.”

Callum wrapped his arms around Ben, burying his head in Ben’s neck. 

“What’s this for?” Ben smiled, wrapping his arms around Callum too, slightly shocked. 

“Nothing, your just a really good friend. Now, I’m gonna go, before I throw up all over you.” 

Ben laughed, watching Callum making his way slowly upstairs. 

Ben turned around, jumping when Jay walked into the living room. 

“Fuck, Jay! Don’t do that to me!”

“Sorry, let myself in.”

“I’m sure your tryna kill me, you do that all the time. I need to go get Cal some water and some painkillers probably.”

“Callum’s here?”

“Upstairs. Why?”

“Thought he was at Tyler’s?”

“He was. Came here after. He feels really bad, worse than normal so I told him to take my bed for a bit.”

Jay followed Ben into the kitchen, waiting for him as he grabbed a glass for Callum. 

“You know, I still don’t like that Tyler. At all. He’s just dead creepy...”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter of the day!!

“Why are you so hell bent on Tyler being a bad person?”

“I’m not! He could be just a normal guy, but he’s just weird around me.”

Ben took the water and painkillers to the living room, sitting on the sofa. He wanted to wait until Callum was asleep, incase he disturbed him. 

“Maybe he just doesn’t like you?”

“Thanks.” Ben huffed. “I just don’t trust him.”

“Callum’s happy. Your his best friend, Ben. Be happy for him.”

“I can’t okay?!” Ben sighed, running his hand through his hair. 

“Why, because you might get to spend less time getting drunk now?”

“No, course not!”

“He’s got a life too, Ben. He’s allowed to meet guys and have an actual life. Your his friend, I get that, but don’t be jealous cos you can’t be with him all the time!”

“I love him okay?!” Ben shouted, blurting it out. “I love him...” He whispered this time.

“Callum?”

“No, fucking Tyler for crying out loud! Who else do you think?”

“You love your best mate?”

“Yes, Jay! I. Love. Callum.”

“And he has no idea?”

“Not that I know of. I’ve never said anything. And I wanted that life he’s got with Tyler to be with me for so long and now I’ve lost my chance cos I’m too much of a coward to admit it to him.” Ben sighed. 

“Your not a coward, Ben.” 

“I love him...” Ben whispered to himself again. 

Jay sat down next to Ben, Ben glancing up at him. 

“How long?” Jay asked. 

“I don’t know, I just do.” Ben sighed. 

“When he told you he’s met someone? Longer?”

“I was gonna tell him ages ago, he was here for the evening. God, that must been at least a year ago. I sort of asked him subtly if he’d ever want to actually find someone. Cos we we’d both been single for ages. He was joking about he never wanted to find anyone. He liked being on his own. So I just never said anything.”

“You’ve been trying to tell him for years?”

Ben nodded slowly. 

“And a couple of months ago. I was so close to telling him. That’s where he met Tyler, at the club I took him to.”

“This is why you always turn Callum down when he keeps pointing people out for you, isn’t it?”

“I don’t want anyone else, Jay...”

“The person you want has been right in front of you for years.” Jay sighed. Ben looked at Jay, looking at him like a wounded puppy. 

“I don’t know when I realised, but I’ve loved him for so long, Jay. I think I always have.”

“Is this why you don’t like Tyler? Cos he’s Callum’s boyfriend?”

“Not really. I don’t trust him. Why would Callum want to be with me anyway, when he’s got a rich, successful boyfriend?”

“Callum wouldn’t care about that and you know it. He’s got a good heart. He’ll fight for what he wants and maybe you should too.”

“How can I can compare to that, Jay!”

“Callum would never compare you both. He’s your best friend.”

“Yeah, that’s it to him. Nothing more.”

“You need to tell him how you feel, Ben.” 

“He’s a project whatsit thingy manager. He owns a whole company and owns like fifty houses! I’m a nobody compared to him.”

“Callum doesn’t think your a nobody. Even I know, he thinks the world of you.”

“He’s rich and fancy with a massive house and probably a fancy car, all the money and then there’s me?! Callum wouldn’t choose a life with me over Tyler fucking Anderson. He’s a rich prick.” Ben huffed. “I’m not saying Callum is with him cos of the money, god no, that’s just not Callum, but I’m pretty sure it appeals?”

“Come on, Ben. That’s not fair. You know Callum better than anyone else. You know he’s not gonna stay for the money.”

“I know! I can’t tell him, Jay...”

Ben buried his head in his hands, groaning to himself. “I just can’t...”

Jay wrapped his arm around Ben’s shoulders, Ben leaning into him. 

“This is making you miserable, Ben.”

“But I can’t tell him can I? It’ll just make things awkward between us and I like us how we are.”

“But you don’t like it do you? You love him, Ben.” 

Ben looked up at Jay, sighing to himself.

“He’s with someone else, Jay. And he’s happy. I just want him to be happy...”

“Your not happy though are you?”

“It doesn’t matter about me.”

“Yes it does, Ben. What if Callum feels the same way about you, but your both too scared to admit it to each other?” Ben looked at Jay for a while, sighing again. 

“He doesn’t. He’s with Tyler...”

“And what if he wasn’t!”

“So what? You want me to declare my undying love for Callum, he’ll dump Tyler and we’ll live happily ever after!! This isn’t a fairytale, Jay!”

Jay shrugged, smiling at Ben. 

“Argh! This is so messed up!” Ben moaned.

“Have you told anyone else?”

“Just you. I thought you’d tell me to leave it anyway?”

“Well, if you love him, you should fight for him.”

Ben sighed, spotting the water on the side, standing up. 

“I need to take these up to him. You can’t say anything, you know?”

“I won’t.”

“You swear? Not anything to Cal either? He can’t find out. Not now.”

Jay nodded quickly. “It won’t be coming from me.”

“Thank you.” Ben smiled. 

“Don’t be too long, I’ll get bored down here on my own.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna jump him, in his sleep.”

Jay smiled at him, drinking his coffee instead. 

“You know, I can really see it now.”

“What?” Ben frowned. 

“You’ve got it bad for Callum. Smitten you are.”

Ben smiled at Jay, shaking his head. He’d fallen for Callum a long time ago.


	9. Chapter 9

Ben opened the door to his bedroom slowly, walking in as quietly as he could. 

He waited for a second, smiling at Callum, lying in the middle of the bed, with the cover thrown messily over him. 

He left the water and painkillers on the side, turning around to leave but stopping. 

Ben turned back around, sitting down slowly next to Callum. 

He reached for Callum, hesitating with his hand hovering in the air, before he gently stroked a loose piece of hair from Callum’s face. 

Ben took his hand away quickly, when Callum stirred, pressing his face into the pillow. 

He smiled at Callum making little noises, screwing his face up, probably feeling sick again. 

He stroked Callum’s hair for a while, sighing to himself. If he’d just told him he loved him, it could have been so different.

Even if Callum told him he didn’t love him back, at least it would be easier for him, knowing how Callum felt. 

But now Callum had Tyler and he couldn’t say anything to him now. It would just make things awkward. 

“I wish I could tell you, Cal. I really want to. I do...”

Ben trailed the back of his hand down Callum’s face slowly, spreading his hand against Callum’s, uncurling his fingers. 

“I don’t think we could be the same if you didn’t feel the same way. And I love how we are. I love you, Cal...”

He curled his hand around Callum’s, Callum sighing to himself, closing his hand around Ben’s in his sleep.

“Jay wants me to tell you. I want to tell you too, but I can’t. I can’t lose you, Callum. Especially now your with Tyler. I don’t like him, but you do. I know you do. You smile when your with him, you laugh, your happy. And if Tyler makes you happy, then that’s all that matters. All I want is for you to be happy...”

“Just tell him, Ben...” 

Ben looked at Jay, standing in the doorway. “You were ages, so I thought I’d come see if he was okay.” Jay finished. 

“I can’t!” Ben took his hand away from Callum’s, walking over to Jay. 

“Yes, you can. Do you care about him?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you love him?”

Ben nodded, looking back at Callum. 

“Well, then. Tell him.”

“You make it sound so easy...”

“It is. Tell him or I will.” Jay huffed. 

“You said you wouldn’t!”

“A guy can change his mind?” Jay smiled. “You have been driving yourself crazy over this and I think, no, I KNOW, that you should just tell him.”

Ben looked at Callum, fast asleep, still oblivious to Ben loving him all this time. Oblivious to them both standing here now, Ben holding his hand when he was asleep. 

“I will...”

“When he wakes up?”

Ben snapped his head around looking at Jay, wide eyed. 

“What am I supposed to say?!” 

Ben closed the door quietly, following Jay down stairs. 

“You’ll work it out. It’s Callum innit?”

“I don’t how?!”

Jay turned around in the living, gripping onto the top of Ben’s shoulders. 

“Stop freaking out. This is Callum we’re talking about, he’s not exactly gonna hate you for it is he?”

Ben shook his head slowly, looking at Jay. 

“I will, I will. Just let me do it my way.”

“When?”

“I don’t know. I’ll take him out somewhere.”

Jay nodded. “I swear if you don’t do it soon, I’ll gonna bash your heads together. Just think of all the double dates, Me and Lo and you two go on.” He grinned. 

“We sort of do that anyway?” Ben smiled. 

“Besides, I reckon you’d make a cute couple.” Jay smiled. 

“Yeah?”

“Your together most of the time anyway, he’s always round here. I mean he’s sleeping in your bed.”

“That’s cod he doesn’t feel well.”

“Still. Anyway, you make each other happy and I think it could be even better you just TOLD HIM!!”

“Alright! I will! Stop harassing me!”

“I will when you tell him.” Jay grinned. 

“You are so annoying sometimes. I need to find somewhere I can take him.” Ben told him. 

“Come on then, what you waiting for?! Laptop? Right, google, most romantic places in Walford.”

“Pfft, your kidding me right? This isn’t Paris?!”

Ben shook his head, sitting next to Jay. 

“Oo, you could take him to Paris.”

“We’re being practical here!”

“Fine.” Jay huffed. “Just find a nice restaurant or a cinema or something.”

Ben nodded, smiling at Jay, getting excited. He was terrified right now, freaking himself out incase Callum didn’t feel the same way. 

“What about a club?” Jay muttered to himself. “You go there loads of times anyway? Just go to E20?”

Ben shook his head, Jay trying to think of ideas.


	10. Chapter 10

“Why can’t you just tell him when he wakes up?” Jay frowned.

“Cos he’ll probably be tired still.”

“You can’t put it off forever. You swear you’ll tell him?” Jay frowned. Jay had stayed for a couple of hours, annoying Ben about Callum. 

“Yes, Jay! For the millionth time, I will. Tell. Callum. I. love-“

“Tell me what?”

Ben snapped his head around, looking at Callum standing in the doorway. 

“He loves you’re taste in music really.” Jay said quickly. 

Ben glared at Jay, shrugging his shoulders. In a way telling him it was the only thing he could think of. 

“He always moans about your choice of music in the car, loves it really.”

Ben thought he was gonna faint under Callum’s intense gaze. 

“I knew it.” Callum grinned instead. 

Ben breathed out, looking at Jay. 

Jay raised his eyes at Ben. It seemed to work. 

“Erm, yeah. Was just telling Jay about it.”

“He’s sussed you out now.” Callum smiled. He walked over the armchair, Jay jumping up.

“You sit there! Next to Ben, on the sofa. I best be off anyway.”

“Okay??” Calum frowned at Jay, sitting next to Ben. 

“Ben’s got something he wants to ask you. Haven’t you, Ben?”

Jay winced at Ben glaring at him. If looks could kill. 

“Just wondering if you fancied going E20? Later.”

“Yeah, why not.”

Ben nodded, smiling at him. 

“It’s a date.” Jay grinned. 

Ben turned his gaze back to Jay, daring him to say anything else.

“I’m just gonna...” Jay pointed towards the door, backing away from Ben. 

“What’s up with him?” Callum frowned. 

“Nothing. He’s just being annoying again!” He aimed at Jay. 

“Pfft, says you. I need to go see Lo anyway.” 

Jay disappeared, leaving the two of them. 

“You feeling better?”

“Yeah, I am a bit. It seems to have passed a bit now.”

“Good.” Ben smiled. Callum’s hair was still messy, from being in bed. He preferred it like that anyway. 

“Thanks for letting me stay. Nick your bed, I mean.”

“Anytime.”

Callum rested his head back against the wall, sighing to himself. 

“You alright?”

“Still tired. Tyler said I passed out when I got back last night, but I feel like I didn’t sleep at all?”

“It’s probably cos you still feel weird. We don’t have to go later if you don’t want?”

“I’ll be okay, if I stick to beer.” Callum smiled. “God, I feel like I’ve been drugged or something.”

“Can I tell you something?” He couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Yeah, go on.” 

Ben looked at Callum closing his eyes. 

“I don’t want you to freak out.”

“Mmm...”

Callum leaned across, resting his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know how to tell you...”

“What?” Callum sighed trying to keep himself awake. 

“I think I love you. No I know I love you...”

“Yeah...” Callum breathed out. “Love you too...”

“No I meant. Love you, love you. Like more than a friend.”

Ben looked at Callum groaning to himself. 

“For crying out loud, Callum!” He whispered to himself. “You’ll be dead by the time I tell you!”

He’d fallen asleep again, breathing deeply on Ben’s shoulder. 

“I swear I’m gonna scream it at you sooner or later.”

Ben sighed, stroking Callum’s hair instead. 

~*~

Ben was gone when Callum woke up, lying across the sofa.

He followed the smell to the kitchen, Ben making lunch. 

“Your very sleepy today.” Ben smiled. 

“Don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Callum frowned. 

“I’ve been googling it...”

“What?”

“Why your feeling like this? Right you know the drugs where people spike your drink?” Ben gave Callum some lunch, muttering a thank you, whilst listening to Ben. 

“It’s called Rohypnol or something like that. Anyway, it’s even stronger when combined with alcohol. Makes you feel really relaxed. And you feel dizzy and confused. It says you feel disorientated even after a nights sleep. And you can have memory loss. You don’t have a clue what happened to you, Cal and you feel sick.”

“So your saying you think someone spiked my drink?”

“Maybe. You have all the symptoms for it.”

Callum frowned to himself, still trying to remember. 

“Nope. After you left, nothing.” 

“What if something happened to you, Callum?”

“It didn’t though, cos Tyler took me back to his.”

“Good job he was there, though. Anything could have happened to you.”

Ben wasn’t a fan of Tyler, but if he made sure Callum was safe, then that’s all that mattered. 

“I left my wallet at his house.” Callum frowned. 

“Go and fetch it then, come back here for tonight?”

Callum nodded, standing up. 

“Thanks for lunch.”

“S’alright. Just take care of yourself.” 

“I’m only going Tyler’s house. I’ll come back later.”

Callum wrapped his arms around Ben, Ben doing the same. 

“See you later.” Ben smiled, as Callum left. 

Ben frowned to himself, wondering someone would spike Callum’s drink, if they weren’t with him. He sighed to himself, glad at least Tyler was with him...


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three in one day already! I’ve got loads to post, but I’m spacing them out, so no one gets confused.
> 
> I’ve added more warnings... I wouldn’t say it’s graphic but please don’t read if this triggers you!

Callum knocked on Tyler’s door, waiting for him. He wouldn’t just walk in like at Ben’s. He’d only been here once. 

Tyler let him in, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“You alright?” Callum asked. 

“Yeah, I’m good. You?”

“Good, now your here.”

Callum smiled at him, looking in the living room, for his wallet. 

He looked up, Tyler standing with it in his hand. 

“Oh, thanks. Left it here, this morning.”

“You left it on the side, don’t worry I haven’t taken anything.” Noticing Callum looking inside it. 

“Never crossed my mind. It’s just I can barely remember last night. Someone could have nicked something. Ben seems to think I was spiked?”

“Spiked?! Don’t be ridiculous, you were with me all night.” Tyler left Callum in the living room, heading to the kitchen. 

“Yeah, but I never usually forget?” Callum followed him, chucking his jacket on the sofa, on his way. “It obviously happened after Ben left, and in the time you got the drinks in.”

“Just drop it, Callum!” He snapped. 

Callum looked a little shocked. “Alright? I was just saying.”

“You haven’t been spiked, Callum.” He sighed. 

“I must have? I never get like this when I’m drunk. Yeah, I’m tipsy but forgetting everything that happened?”

“Callum! Your really starting to get on my nerves now!”

Callum shut up, sitting down at the table instead. 

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you today?” Callum asked. 

“Nothing. Just stop banging on about being spiked, you were with me so you can’t have.”

“Think you got out the wrong side of the bed...”

Tyler closed his eyes, turning around slowly to look at Callum. 

“Do you want lunch?” He asked calmly. “I’m finished for the day, so we can take as long as we want.”

“Nah, already eaten.”

“Oh?”

“Ben. Went to see him this morning, cos I ignored his messages all night. Had lunch with him at his house.”

“You may as well be his boyfriend.” Tyler huffed. “If your not with me, you’ll be with him.”

“He’s my best friend, Tyler. I’ve known him for years. We spend a lot of time together.”

“That’s probably why he doesn’t like me. He wants to be your drinking buddy.”

“He doesn’t not like you! He’s never said that?”

“I just get the impression, he doesn’t want me there.”

Callum stood up, walking over to Tyler. 

“I’m with you, Ty.”

Tyler looked at him, smiling at Callum.

“Don’t worry.” Callum told him.

“I don’t want to ruin your relationship with your best friend...”

“You won’t. I’m sure he doesn’t not like you. I’m going to see him tonight anyway.”

“Again?” He frowned. 

“He wanted to go for a drink.”

“I thought you were staying here tonight?”

Callum looked at Tyler, scanning his face. 

“When did we decide that?” Callum frowned. 

“Oh, I just thought you were?”

“I said I’d meet Ben tonight though...”

“Come on, you spend half your time over at his house!” Callum frowned at Tyler getting annoyed. 

“It’s only for one night, Ty. I’ll come here tomorrow.” 

Callum walked into the living room, Tyler hurrying after him. 

“You spend so much time with him, you barely have time for me! WHO AM I TO YOU?!” He shouted. 

Tyler grabbed Callum’s wrist, stopping him from going anywhere. 

“I’m your boyfriend. Ben’s my best friend. I promised him, I wouldn’t ignore him now I’m with you. I was with you all night. I can’t just stop being his friend. I don’t WANT to stop being his friend.”

Callum glanced down at his wrist, Tyler gripping onto him. 

“What are you doing?” Callum whispered. 

Tyler ignored him, not letting go. 

“I’ve known you for nearly three months, Callum, but it feels like three days! I hardly see you!”

“Let me go, Tyler...”

His grip seemed to get tighter, Callum looking at Tyler, glaring at him. 

“You’d rather be with him, than me.”

“Don’t be stupid-“

Tyler wrapped the rest of his fingers around Callum’s wrist, gripping on as tight as possible. 

“Don’t say that.” He hissed. 

“I’m. With. You.”

“Don’t patronise me, Callum...”

“I’m not. I’m here now aren’t I?”

He wasn’t going to let go, so Callum sat down slowly on the sofa. 

“Your here, but it’s like your not here.”

“Why are you saying all this...” Callum frowned. 

Callum had never seen Tyler look so angry. Because he spent too much time with Ben? 

Only when he sat down and knew he wasn’t going anywhere, did Tyler let go.

“What was that about?” Callum whispered. 

“I just feel like you don’t really care.”

“Course I do, Tyler. I meant not letting me go...”

Tyler sat down next to him, looking at his wrist. It wasn’t that bad, just a little red, from where he gripped onto him. It would fade in a couple of hours. 

“I’m sorry.” Tyler whispered. 

Callum looked at him, staring at his wrist, looking guilty. 

“It doesn’t matter. You haven’t even done anything. You did hold on a little hard but it’s not like you did it on purpose is it?”

“No, course not.”

“Well then, stop worrying.” Callum smiled. 

Tyler smiled at Callum, wrapping his arms around him. 

“I just feel like you’d rather be with Ben, than with me.” He sighed, burying his head in Callum’s neck. “He’s always with you.”

“You think Ben fancies me??” 

“Dunno. Maybe.”

“Pfft, Ben doesn’t see me that way...”

“You want him to?”

Callum hesitated for a second, looking at his jacket on the chair over Tyler’s shoulder. Ben had actually bought it for his birthday, he hardly went anywhere without it. 

“I’m with you.”

“You can still want to be with someone else.” Tyler whispered. 

“I don’t want to be with anyone else, Ty...”

Callum wrapped his arms a little tighter around Tyler, rubbing down his back, staring at his jacket. 

“I care about you Callum. A lot. I miss you when you not here.”

Callum smiled to himself, pressing a light kiss to the side of Tyler’s head. 

“I’m sorry...” Tyler whispered again. 

Callum pulled away, smiling at Tyler. 

“How about I tell Ben, I’m staying with you tonight and I’ll go see him another time?”

“No, don’t do that! I don’t want to come between you both...”

“You aren’t. Look I’ll text him now, then I can stay with you tonight.”

“If your sure...”

Callum nodded, picking his jacket up, looking at it for a few seconds. 

“You okay?” Tyler frowned. 

Callum glanced up at him, smiling at him. 

“Yeah, course. Just me being silly. Forgot which pocket my phone was in...”


	12. Chapter 12

Ben groaned to himself, chucking his phone down next to him on the sofa. He’d lost it since this morning, so hadn’t read Callum’s message until the evening, after he’d got himself ready for Callum coming over. 

“I knew this would happen!” 

C- ‘I’m sorry to blow you out, but Tyler wanted me to stay over. Another time, yeah? We can go wherever you want. I’ll even pay for everything! :)   
I’m really sorry...’

“You alright, Love?”

“No, Mum, I’m not alright?!”

Kathy raised her eyes at Ben, sighing to himself. 

“Sorry... It’s just I was supposed to be going out with Cal tonight. I really need to tell him something?”

“Your okay aren’t you?” 

Ben looked at Kathy, looking worried. 

“I’m fine, Mum, honestly. There’s nothing wrong with me, I just wanted to speak to him about something.”

“And now he’s blown you out for his boyfriend?”

“Exactly.” Ben sighed dragging himself up from the sofa. 

“Where you going? Thought you were watching this film with me?”

“I can’t be bothered, Mum. I was gonna go with Cal half way through it anyway. If I’m not going out, I just want to go bed. Besides it’s black and white?”

“You can’t beat a good classic.” She smiled. “Your not upset are you?”

“I’ll be fine, Mum. Just tired. Just make sure you lock up.” Ben kissed the top of her head, dragging himself upstairs into his room. 

He pulled his shirt over his head, dropping down onto the bed, lying down. 

“How I supposed to tell you, Cal?” He whispered to himself. 

He buried his nose in the pillow, smelling faintly of Callum from earlier this morning. 

“Maybe I just shouldn’t...”

He squeezed his eyes shut trying not to think about Callum being with Tyler right now. 

It was pointless telling him, he was with Tyler more and more everyday. Callum clearly liked him a lot. And he definitely didn’t want to scare Callum away or ruin his happiness. 

Ben sighed to himself, pulling the cover over his head. 

~*~

“For fucks sake!” Ben groaned, dragging himself out of bed at someone knocking on the door. It was too early in the morning for visitors. 

“Don’t worry, guys, I’ll go shall I?” Ben huffed.

He unlocked the front door, Jay letting himself in. 

“Come in, Jay. Arr, thanks, Ben!” Ben rolled his eyes, as he walked into the living room anyway. 

“So come on then! Where is here?”

“Who?” Ben frowned. 

“Callum?!”

“He’s not here, Jay! What did you think was gonna happen? I declare my love for him, he’ll just CHEAT on Tyler with me and he’d be in my bed in the morning??”

“Something like that.” Jay shrugged. 

“Argh! He’s with Tyler now!”

“So you went out with him, told him you loved him and he just went back to Tyler??”

“No! I never went out with him and I never told him!”

Ben showed the message from Callum to Jay, his face dropping. 

“Oh...”

“So go away, Jay!” Ben ushered Jay through the kitchen, opening the back door, shoving him through it and slamming the door. 

“Ben! Let me back in!”

“No!”

“You can tell him today instead?”

“I’m not saying anything anymore! And neither are you! Or I will personally kill you myself!!”

“He needs to know!”

“He NEEDS to be happy! And that is with Tyler!”

Ben ignored Jay, calling to him. He dragged himself back upstairs to his room. 

“You can’t sulk forever!”

“I can try...” Ben whispered. 

~*~

Ben groaned, pulling a pillow over his head, trying to block out the noise. Jay ringing the doorbell again. 

“Argh! For crying out loud, Jay!”

He swung the door open, expecting Jay. 

“Oh. Tyler? What you doing here?”

“Don’t get too excited, Callum isn’t here.”

“Why would I...”

Tyler walked past him into the house, Ben frowning at him, closing the front door. 

“What you doing? You can’t just walk in here!”


	13. Chapter 13

“What the fuck, Tyler! You can’t just barge in here!” Ben cried. 

“I’m not. I just want a calm conversation with you.”

“Calm? I am calm? You won’t be when you hear what I’ve got to say.” 

“What have I ever done to you, eh? You’ve hated me from the start because YOUR jealous of Callum spending time with me too.”

“I am NOT jealous!” He hissed. 

Tyler sat down on the sofa, Ben standing on the other side of the room. 

“All I’m asking is for you to stop bothering Callum.”

“Bothering? I’m not bothering him?”

“Not what Callum said.”

“What?”

“You putting ideas in his head that he’s been spiked.”

“He was!! Why didn’t you see anything! Your were with him!”

“Precisely. So he can’t have been spiked. He was just too drunk to remember.”

“You telling me, that he’s been feeling like shit, has got fucking amnesia over the whole night and was confused about it and he’s totally fine?! He was dizzy! He was sick! He’s got all the symptoms!”

“Just sounds like a normal hangover to me? I took him back to mine. He was safe with me.”

“So you say. But what if you weren’t with him, eh? Then what? He could have been attacked or mugged or raped or I don’t know! Killed?! YOU wouldn’t know have known! But at some point, you weren’t with him! So don’t you dare try and pin this on me!”

“You stress him out too much. I’m not being horrible here, I just want Callum to be okay.”

“So do I?”

“He said to me he’d rather be with me than you...”

“He said that?”

Tyler nodded, watching Ben sit down in the chair, opposite him. 

“He just said last night, he doesn’t want to be with anyone else right now...”

“This is why he didn’t want to come out with me last night...”

Ben looked up at Tyler, seeing Callum smile every time Tyler said something to him. Laugh when he’s near him. Callum really cared about Tyler. 

“I know we don’t get on and probably don’t like each other. But we should remain civilised for Callum’s sake. Cos we both know he cares about you.”

“Civilised?! I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“Your always hanging around. Following him around! Your too much for him.”

“What? He’d tell me if I was annoying him?”

“Just back off a bit, yeah?”

“He’s my best mate! Course I care about him.” 

“I’m trying to look out for him, here. You want him to be happy, don’t you?”

“Course I do! Where is he now?”

“Still at my house, he was still asleep when I left. Just give him a bit of space then.”

Ben wasn’t listening anymore, frowning to himself. He’d pushed Callum away and now he didn’t want to see him. 

Ben jumped when Tyler pat him on his back. 

“We both want what’s best for Callum...”

Ben nodded, watching Tyler let himself out. 

Ben groaned to himself, burying his head in his hands.

“Argh! This is so messed up...”


	14. Chapter 14

Callum yawned, pushing himself up in bed, frowning when he realised Tyler wasn’t there. 

He slid out of bed, pulling his clothes on from the day before. He hadn’t brought anything else with him, not thinking he was staying over. 

He dragged himself downstairs slowly looking for Tyler. 

“Ty?!” He checked in the living room, heading to the kitchen. 

“I’m here.” Callum turned around, smiling at Tyler walking through the front door. 

“Where’d you go?”

“Get us some breakfast.” He made a detour to the shop on his way back from Ben’s. “Sorry, I wasn’t there, was gonna bring it up to you, but your awake now.”

“Your a star.” Callum grinned. 

“I try.” He smiled. 

“You don’t have to make me breakfast in bed everyday, you know.” Callum smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips as he walked by. 

“I like looking after you.”

“I know you do. Not that I’m complaining. I could get used to this service!”

“If that’s what you want that’s what I’ll get you.” He smiled. 

“I was about to send out a search party. The size of this house, I’d be searching for you all day!”

“It’s not that big!”

“Erm, have you seen my flat?!”

Callum followed Tyler into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. 

“So? It’s homely.”

“If you say so... You want any help?”

“Nah, you just sit there and look pretty.”

Callum smiled at him, watching him make them both breakfast. 

“Is that bacon?”

“Sure is. I’ve got everything.”

“Oo, you do treat me well.”

“Only the best for you, Callum.”

~*~

“I think you should leave some of your things over here.” Tyler suggested. 

Callum nearly choked on his bacon, looking up at Tyler. 

“What?”

“I reckon you should leave some of your stuff over here.” He repeated. 

“You being serious??”

“Yes! I mean, your wearing yesterday’s clothes? You might decide to stay over one night. You haven’t got anything with you.”

“Suppose.”

“Don’t sound too excited.”

“Oh, course I will! It’s just I’ve not been round here that often and your practically asking me to move in.”

“Your not moving in, just leaving some of your stuff here? Don’t matter, was just a suggestion.” Tyler sighed. 

“Arr, don’t be like that!” Callum held Tyler’s arm from across the table. “I’ll go get some stuff later, you never know, I might stay over again.”

“Yeah?” Tyler looked at him hopefully. 

“Depends.”

“On??”

“If your gonna make me lunch too.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.” Tyler smiled. 

“You seen my phone, actually? Can’t find it anywhere.”

“Sorry, I’ll have a look.”

Callum nodded, standing up. 

“I’m gonna take a shower then nip home for some stuff.”

“Alright. I can have a look for your phone if you like.”

“Cheers.” Callum smiled, disappearing upstairs. 

Tyler sat on the sofa, waiting for Callum picking up his jacket, Callum’s phone slipping out of it. 

He glanced up the stairs, the shower still going, looking back down at his phone. 

Tyler didn’t do anything for a while, just staring at the lock screen. It was a picture of Callum and a little girl. 

Ben had rang him, leaving a voicemail.

He tried Callum’s password, getting in first time. He was so predictable. His birthday. He put the phone to his ear, listening to it. 

“I’m sorry, Cal... I really am...” Ben didn’t say for a few seconds, too busy sniffling. Tyler rolled his eyes, listening again. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m too much for you. I didn’t know I was. Don’t know if you told Tyler to come and talk to me, but I can’t lose you either. Your my best friend, Cal... Anyway, can you just call me back or come round to the house? I just want to talk to you, tell me how I can make it better. I don’t wanna push you away. I care about you a lot, Cal...”

Tyler left it for awhile hearing Callum coming down to the stairs, running a towel through his wet hair. He didn’t have his gel, so pushed it back over his head. 

“You found it. Thanks.”

“You look good like that.”

“What?”

Tyler looked down at Callum’s phone, at the voicemail on his screen. 

“Your hair...” He told him half heartedly, too busy looking at the screen. He hesitated, remembering Callum didn’t know he’d gone to see Ben this morning, before making his mind up and deleting the voicemail. 

“Your hair all wet.” He finished. 

“Don’t have any gel. Where was it anyway?”

“It was in your pocket where it always is.” He smiled. 

“You know what I’m like, I’ll lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.”

“Who’s that on the front?” Tyler asked instead. 

He turned the phone showing Callum the front. 

“Lexi. Ben’s daughter. She’s a good kid.” He smiled. 

“Oh. Innit a bit weird you’ve got someone else’s kid on your lock screen.”

“Not really. I’m pretty close to her too, she’s always with Ben, so I see her often. She seems to think I’m her other dad.” Callum smiled.

“She thinks your with Ben?” Tyler frowned. 

“No, course not. Thanks for finding it anyway. You know, I’m never gonna be able to find things anymore in this house. I can barely find stuff at home, let alone here.”

Callum took his phone from Tyler, checking to see if he’d had any messages from Ben. 

Callum frowned hoping he wasn’t annoyed cos he’d not gone out with him last night. He hadn’t heard from him since then, not even replying to the original text he’d sent him to say he couldn’t make it. 

“You okay?” Tyler asked. 

“Yeah, course. Just gonna go home and fetch some stuff.” Callum pressed a kiss to the top of his head, grabbing his jacket. 

“Don’t be too long. Miss you.” Tyler smiled. “Actually I might come with you, we can go out for lunch then.”

“Come on then.” Callum smiled, holding his hand out. 

Tyler hooked his hand around Callum’s hand gripping onto him, pulling himself up from the sofa and following Callum.


	15. Chapter 15

“Callum!!”

Callum turned around, dropping Tyler’s hand as Lexi ran towards him, jumping at him. 

Callum grinned at her, catching her in his arms. 

“You okay, princess?”

“Suppose...”

“What’s wrong, Lex?”

Callum adjusted her so she was sitting on his arm, stroking her hair with his free hand. 

“I’m okay, but daddy’s sad...”

“Sad? Where is he?”

Callum didn’t see Tyler rolling his eyes. 

“Home. He doesn’t know I’ve gone...”

“Lexi! He’s probably worried about you!”

“You gonna take her back, then we can go get your stuff?” Tyler told him. 

“Hold on a minute, there’s no rush.”

Tyler sighed, waiting for Callum. 

“My daddy’s sad!” Lexi glared at Tyler. “Callum makes daddy happy, so he needs him! If you don’t like him, you cant be Callum’s friend!” She threw her arms around Callum’s neck, burying her head in his neck. 

“Lexi! Sorry Ty, I think she’s just worried.”

“It’s fine.” He huffed, squinting at Lexi, glaring at him over Callum’s shoulder. 

“What has daddy told you about running off?”

“But I’m with you? I was only going to see if you were home. Daddy always says I’m safe if I’m with you and if daddy’s not there...”

“But he doesn’t know where you are?”

“I know. I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be upset darlin’. Come on, we’ll get you back to your dad, yeah?”

Lexi nodded, Callum stroking her hair. 

He reached in his back pocket, holding his keys out for Tyler. 

“Why don’t you let yourself in, I won’t be too long.” Callum told him. 

Tyler didn’t look too sure, still aware of Lexi glaring at him. Callum didn’t wait for an answer leaving Tyler and walking away with Lexi. 

“Shall we get you back to your daddy?” He smiled. 

“You need to make him happy again!”

“I’ll try sweetheart.”

Tyler looked at Callum’s keys, curling his hand around them tightly, watching Callum carry Lexi in his arms, smiling at her. 

Callum walked with Lexi over to Ben’s, letting himself in and sitting her down on the sofa. 

“Ben?!” He called. 

He heard Ben coming down the stairs, rushing over to her, gathering her in his arms. 

“Where did you go?! I turned around and you weren’t there! I thought maybe you’d just gone upstairs. I was about to come and look for you!”

“I went to go find Callum...”

“I told you he wasn’t at his home?”

“It’s alright, she caught me on the way there.” Callum added. 

Ben stood up, looking at Callum. 

“Thanks...” 

“S’alright. She came to find me cos she seems to think your sad?”

“Sad? I’m fine??”

“You don’t look fine to me, Ben?”

“I’m just tired. I’ll be fine. Thanks for bringing her back.” Ben sat down next to her, refusing to look at Callum.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“I will. Just don’t want to keep you here.”

“Your not! Lexi can you go and get colouring stuff from upstairs for me? Get all your glittery ones and your stickers.” Callum smiled. 

Lexi nodded, running upstairs, Callum sitting next to Ben. 

“I’m here cos I want to be. Why are you being like this?”

“I don’t want to be on your case all the time.”

“Your not, Ben. Your making no sense! Is this because I stayed with Tyler last night? Is that why you ignored my message?”

Ben looked up at Callum, frowning at him. 

“I called you! But you didn’t pick up? I left you a voicemail!”

Callum frowned at him, grabbing his phone from his pocket, flicking through his missed calls. 

“I haven’t got a message from you, Ben? I text you to say I’m staying over and then you never replied.” Callum locked his phone putting it on his knee. 

“I did!” Ben grabbed Callum’s phone from his knee, quickly typing in the password, flicking through his phone again. “I swear I did.” He took his own phone, turning his phone around to show Callum. 

“See??” Callum frowned at the screen, showing Ben had called him this morning. 

“I didn’t get it?”

“I don’t know why, but I called. I just wanted you to tell me how I can stop being so annoying...”

“Your annoying me?! Why would you think that, Ben!”

“Cos Tyler said I get on your nerves?”

“What, when??”

“This morning?”

“Today?!”

“Yes! He was round here this morning, just saying you’d rather be with him.”

“Argh! He’s getting confused again.”

“Confused? About what?”

“Me and you. He reckons I spend too much time with you, when I should be with him.”

“Too much time! I barley see you anymore!”

“And I’m sorry for that. It was a misunderstanding. Your not bothering me and your not annoying me. I thought you were annoyed cos I stayed at Tyler’s last night. I thought you ignored me.”

“No, I called you.”

“Look, can we just forget all of this happened and start before I got so drunk I couldn’t remember anything?” Callum smiled. 

Ben nodded, still looking at his lap. 

“Please, Ben. Just look at me.”

Callum sighed, taking Ben’s head in his hands, to get him to look at him. 

“Your my best friend, Ben. I’ll always find you annoying.” He grinned. 

Ben smiled at Callum, aware of his hands still on his face. He could barley think of anything else. 

“But I don’t want you to be sad over it. I’m not sure where Tyler got the idea from but I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. Course I want you around. Course I want you annoying me.” He smiled. “Even if you are annoying me I don’t want you to go away. I don’t want you to stay away. I want you to stay.”

They looked at each for a while, Ben searching Callum’s eyes, his gaze flicking to Callum’s mouth and back up just as quickly. 

Ben searched Callum’s eyes, looking at each other neither saying anything. Ben started to lean forward slightly, both of them jumping when Lexi came running back into the room. 

Callum immediately took his hands away from Ben’s face. His face clearing of any other emotion, smiling at Lexi instead. 

“Did you get them for me darlin’?”

She jumped in Callum’s knee, showing him everything. 

“I couldn’t pick which stickers, I wanted so it took me ages. But I’ve got these now.”

“You always take ages picking stickers.” Callum smiled. 

Ben looked at Callum, smiling at Lexi, as she stuck a sticker on him. 

“I’m gonna have glitter on me for a week now!” Callum grinned. 

Lexi giggled, wrapping her arms around him. 

Ben was so close to kissing him and he didn’t even know if Callum realised. Surely he must have? It was pretty obvious what his intentions were. He probably would have kissed Callum, if Lexi hadn’t ran in. And he seemed to drop his hands just as quickly. 

“I want you to stay here forever.” She sighed. 

“I know you do...” Callum stroked her hair, as she held on tightly. 

“Will you stay and make cakes with me? You haven’t done that for a while.”

“I can’t sweetheart. I’m supposed to be going home for a bit. I’ve got something I need to do.”

“But you stay over here loads of times, why can’t you live here?”

“I can’t live on the sofa forever can I?” Callum smiled. He only stayed when he was too drunk to make it back home. Ben always told him he was welcome at anytime and Lexi liked him being there. 

“You can sleep in daddy’s bed. He’ll let you share.” Lexi looked up at Callum, waiting for an answer. 

“Lexi, come on, we’ll make those cakes later, yeah?” Ben quickly picked Lexi up off Callum’s knees walking over to the kitchen table and sitting her down, with her colouring stuff. 

Callum frowned at Ben, suddenly in a rush. He was sure he was trying to kiss him earlier. He can’t have? Ben’s his best friend. Ben wouldn’t see him like that would he?

He stood up walking over to them both. 

“I’ll see you later, yeah? I’ll talk to Tyler, I’m sure it was just a mistake. Just don’t worry about it, okay?”

Ben nodded, looking at him again. Callum’s gaze scanning his face. 

“Erm, I better...” He pointed at the door, walking slowly towards it, away from Ben. 

“Cal?”

Callum stopped, turning around. 

“Ben?” He smiled. 

Ben looked like he was gonna says something but shook his head and changed his mind. 

“Just look after yourself.” He said instead. 

“I will.” Callum smiled. 

“Don’t see you very often lately, just making sure you know.”

He knew he saw Ben less often nowadays, but he didn’t think it was that long before he saw him. 

“Thanks for finding Lexi.”

“S’alright. She would have come back if I wasn’t there anyway.”

Callum walked out of the living room, opening the front door, hearing Lexi’s voice again. 

“Who was that man who was with Callum, daddy?”

“What man darlin’?”

“Dunno, Callum was holding hands with a man when I ran up to him.”

“That was probably Tyler. Callum’s boyfriend.”

“But I thought you were his boyfriend?”

“No sweetheart. Callum’s with someone else...”

“I don’t like him.”

“Tyler?!”

“Yeah? He doesn’t seem very nice.”

“I’m sure he is. He’s makes Callum very happy, so you can’t keep saying I’m his boyfriend to everyone, okay?” 

Callum closed his eyes, sighing to himself, leaving them both to it. 

“I don’t like him.” Lexi huffed. 

“You want to know a secret?” Ben smiled. 

Lexi nodded quickly, turning her attention from her colouring to Ben. 

“I don’t like him either.” Ben whispered. 

Lexi gasped, grinning at Ben. 

“It’s a secret though.” Ben smiled. 

“Yep. I won’t tell anyone.” 

Ben smiled at Lexi, looking very serious. 

“If Callum wasn’t with Tyler, would he want to be with you?”

“I don’t know darlin’. I don’t think so.”

“But he loves you?”

“You don’t know that?”

“I do. You make him very happy and he smiles and laughs lots when he’s with you, that means he loves you.”

Ben smiled at Lexi, stroking her hair as she concentrated on her colouring. 

“And he makes you happy too. My plan worked. I knew if I found Callum he’d make you happy again.”

“Yeah he does a lot, sweetheart, he does...” Ben sighed.


	16. Chapter 16

“You were a while.”

Callum walked into the flat Tyler sitting in the armchair across the room. 

“Wasn’t that long? Lexi wanted me to do something for her...”

“I’ve got some stuff for you, didn’t know if you wanted anything else?”

“Thanks.” Callum sat down on the sofa looking in the bag. “That will probably be enough for now.”

“Was Ben there?”

Callum looked up at Tyler frowning. 

“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering.” Tyler shrugged. 

“Oh, I wanted to speak to you actually. You never told me you went round to Ben’s this morning?”

“Didn’t I? Oh, course I did, I forgot to mention it, after I’d been to the shop. I just went to apologise.”

“Apologise? You haven’t done anything have you?”

“Just for making him feel like he’s being pushed out. I said before, I don’t want to come between you both and I don’t.”

Callum shrugged, his explanation seemed simple enough. 

“He thought you said I’d rather be with you?”

“No?”

“Oh. I did say you both probably got your wires crossed.”

“I only went to tell him, that your not gonna ignore him? Don’t know why he took it the other way...”

Tyler glanced at Callum, seeming to be taking it and accepting Tyler’s word for it. 

“He said he called me this morning. Did it show up on my screen when you found it earlier?”

“I can’t remember seeing any calls? Just the picture of you and Lexi. Your phones probably playing up.”

“Maybe.”

“We gonna go then?” Tyler suggested, changing the subject. 

Callum nodded, standing up. 

“I might stay here tonight actually.” Callum frowned. 

“Thought you were staying at mine?” Tyler frowned. 

“I barley stay here anymore, I think I just need to tidy it up a abit. It’ll look abandoned if I don’t sort some stuff out soon!”

“It looks okay to me?”

“Ben always says I’m a messy person.” He smiled. “Can’t help it, I always lose stuff.”

“Why is everything is always about Ben?” Tyler sighed. 

“It’s not? I was just saying...”

“Your obsessed with him.” 

“No I’m not! I only said he thinks I’m messy person! You need to calm down Tyler. You don’t need to be jealous!”

“I am not. Jealous.” He hissed, standing up. 

“Yes you are! You get really annoyed whenever I mention him. I’m sorry but he means a lot to me. I’m not just gonna drop him now I’m with you!”

Tyler strode over to Callum, gripping onto the top of his arms. 

“If he means more to you than I do, why don’t you be with him instead!” 

Callum glanced at Tyler’s hands on him, looking back up at him. 

“Tyler... Your gripping on a little hard again...”

“Again?! I thought we forgot about that before!”

“I have! We have, I’m just saying your gonna hurt me if you get any tighter.”

“Stop changing the subject, Callum. Does Ben mean more to you than me?”

“I’m not gonna compare your both, when your both different people.”

“Just answer. The. Question!”

“No! Course not. I care about you a lot Tyler. You come first...”

Tyler walked Callum backwards, slowly across the room, so he pressed his back against the kitchen counter. 

“You were with him again today, when your supposed to be with me! You say your not gonna drop him but it’s okay to just drop me?!”

“I didn’t drop you! Lexi had run away, I couldn’t just leave her there!”

“She’s Ben’s responsibility. He’s her father, if he can’t look after her, then he shouldn’t have her.”

“Ben is great dad to her! He’d turned his back for two seconds!”

“Why are you STILL defending him!”

Callum tensed under Tyler’s grip, his hands getting tighter around his arms. 

“Your hurting me now...”

Tyler ignored him, carrying on. 

“You left me for HIM!”

“I didn’t leave you, I just took Lexi back!”

“You care about him more than you do me.”

“No I don’t. I just said this!”

Callum felt the counter pressing into his back, Tyler grip getting ever tighter. 

“Your hurting me!!” Callum whined. 

Tyler saw the pain in Callum’s eyes, not looking at Tyler anymore. He let him go, Callum rubbing his arm. 

“You don’t listen to me.” Tyler whispered. 

“I do. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

“Nothing. I just want you to care more...” Tyler sank down in the kitchen chair, looking at the floor. 

“I do care, Tyler...”

“Just go to Ben. You want to be with him all the time anyway.”

Callum sighed kneeling on the floor in front of Tyler. 

“Please, look at me, Ty...”

Tyler ignored him, so Callum took his face in his hands forcing him to look at him. 

“I care about you a lot, Tyler. I don’t want to be with Ben. I want you, okay? I don’t want you to feel like I don’t listen to you. I’ll try more, yeah? And I’m not going to Ben, I’m staying with you.”

Tyler smiled at him, pressing his lips against Callum’s. 

“I didn’t mean to get so angry. I just don’t want Ben to take you away from me...”

“Nobody’s taking me anywhere or away from you.”

Tyler nodded, looking over Callum. 

“Did I really hurt you?”

“A little. It was just the counter corner pressing in my back. I’ll be okay. I just want you to be okay too.”

“I will be.”

“Come on, I’ll take you home. I’ll come with you.”

“Really?” 

Callum smiled at Tyler, looking hopefully at him. 

“Yeah, course I will.” 

Callum stood up, wincing at the pain shooting through his back.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know the counter was that close. I don’t know what got into me, I’ve never hurt anyone before...” Tyler stood up too, looking at Callum worriedly. 

“I’m okay. Your just stressed. You don’t need to be. I’m sticking with you.” He smiled. 

Tyler nodded, wrapping his arms around Callum. 

“I swear it won’t happen again. I never usually get annoyed like that.”

“Good. Cos it kinda scared me. I’ve never seen you like that before.”

Tyler pulled away looking at Callum. 

“Your scared of me?!”

“No! God no, I just meant you freaked me out a little. I’m not scared.” Callum smiled pressing another kiss to his lips. 

“Okay, good. I’d never forgive myself if you were afraid of me.”

“I’m not.” Callum told him. 

Tyler nodded, holding his hand around Callum’s grabbing his bag for him. 

“We’ve not had lunch yet?” Tyler smiled. 

“Well that’s where we’ll go then. Where to?”

“Anywhere you like. You choose.”


	17. Chapter 17

Callum let himself into Tyler’s, heading across the living room, towards him. 

Callum smiled at Tyler, bent over the coffee table, paperwork for his job spread across the table. 

Tyler realised Callum was there, looking up at him, smiling. 

“Hey you.”

“You busy?” Callum smiled, giving him a quick hug, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. 

“Nah, was trying to do some paperwork, but one my people had messed it up.”

“I’m sure it was an accident.”

“Not if they’re trying to sell a house way under priced?”

Callum looked at the sheets on the table, so many different figures for houses. He didn’t understand most of it. He just left Tyler to it most of the time not wanting to disturb him. 

“You what me to leave you for abit? I can get you something to eat.”

“Err, no, I’ll just leave it til later. What’s in the box?” He nodded towards it, frowning at Callum. 

Callum grinned at him, passing it to Tyler. 

“Open it...” Callum smiled excitedly at him as Tyler peered inside the box Callum had put on his knee. 

Tyler snapped his head up, looking at Callum, shocked. 

“This isn’t...”

“It’s a puppy!” Callum’s face immediately fell. “I found him outside the park, couldn’t just leave him there.” Callum looked up again grinning. “He’s yours now!”

“A puppy?!”

“Yesss!”

Callum scooped the puppy out of the box, holding his arms out in front of him, grinning at it. 

“Cute innit?” 

“Did you not think to ask before you bought an... animal, into my house?” Tyler didn’t even attempt soften his tone. 

Callum lowered the puppy back into the box, frowning at Tyler. 

“Thought you’d like it??” 

Tyler said nothing, staring at the puppy, poking his head out of the box. 

“I’ll take it to the rescue shelter...” Callum sighed. 

Callum stood up, shutting the lid, carrying it over to the door and placing it down. 

“Stay. Stay there, Bailey.”

“You named it already?” 

“Err, yeah? I was calling it a different few names and that’s the only one it responded to. Think that’s what it’s name was before it got abandoned...”

Callum shut the lid slowly, grabbing his jacket. He bunched his fists in his jacket, staring at it. He hadn’t seen Ben for weeks since he’d taken Lexi back after she’d come to find him. He didn’t want to neglect neither Ben nor Tyler. He didn’t want to have to choose either. 

He’d been thinking about it more often and he was sure Ben was going to kiss him. Callum didn’t even know what he would have done if Ben had kissed him. Pulled away because he was with Tyler? Kiss him back? 

He barely wore any other of his jackets because Ben had bought it him. Mick had bought him a couple of shirts but he never wore them so much. 

Callum sighed, shaking his head and putting it on. It was just a jacket. 

“It better not chew my shoes...”

Callum spun around grinning at Tyler, dismissing his thoughts. 

“Or piss in them.” He huffed. 

“Oh my god! You hear that Bailey? You’ve got two daddies now!” 

Callum never saw Tyler roll his eyes. He rushed back over, sitting next to Tyler. 

“Thank you!” Callum threw his arms around Tyler, hugging him.

“Hmm. It better not destroy the sofa either. You know how much this cost? A ridiculous amount.”

Callum nodded quickly, letting Bailey out of the box. 

“You’ll love him. He’s too cute not to love!”

Callum wrapped his arms around Tyler, glaring at Bailey over Callum’s shoulder. 

“Thank you.” Callum whispered. 

Tyler buried his head in Callum’s neck wrapping his arms around him a little tighter. 

“Don’t thank me. You found him.”

Callum smiled to himself, closing his eyes. 

“You look after the dog and I’ll look after you.” Tyler smiled. 

“Bailey.”

“Eh?” 

Callum pulled away, looking at Tyler. 

“His name is Bailey.” He grinned. 

“Bailey then.”

“That’s better.” Callum smiled. “You finish whatever you were doing with your paperwork, I’ll go make us something to eat.”

“But you’ve just come in from work? You stay there, I’ll go.”

“I’m okay? It’s just making a bit of dinner, I can do it?”

“Just sit there.” Callum looked up at Tyler, frowning at him. “And relax.” He added, breathing out. 

“Okay??” 

Callum swung his legs round on the sofa, remembering it was expensive and taking them back off again, letting Bailey jump in his lap. He was so used to doing at home and Ben’s, he forgot here. 

“I need to go get Bailey some dog food? He’s probably hungry? I brought him straight here.”

“I’ll go after dinner.”

“I can go, it’ll be good to get out. I seem to stay here most of the time!” Callum laughed. 

“Your comfy now. It won’t take me long.”

Callum shrugged, switching the Tv on. “I’m lucky to have you.” Callum smiled. 

“Your not wrong there.” Tyler smiled back, watching him from the doorway of the kitchen, flicking for something to watch.


	18. Chapter 18

Callum let himself into Tyler’s, spotting Tyler sitting on the sofa smiling at him. 

“What is it?” Callum grinned, sitting down next to him. 

It was a regular thing now. Callum would come straight to Tyler’s after work instead of going home. They’d been seeing each for around six months now. Tyler not touching Callum since the time in the flat around three months ago. Callum had completely forgotten about it now. 

“I have something for you...”

Tyler pushed something into Callum’s hand, looking really pleased with himself. 

Callum looked at the key, glancing up at Tyler, smiling. 

“Your here nearly everyday now, so I wanted you to have one.” 

“Thank you, it means a lot to me.” Callum smiled at Tyler, pressing a kiss to his mouth. 

“It’s not too soon?”

“No, course not...”

“I know it’s only been six months but I miss you when your not here. I just want you to move in with me.”

Tyler kissed Callum again, chucking the key on the side, and taking both of his hands in Callum’s, pulling them both up. 

“Where we goin’?” Callum asked. 

Callum smiled warmly at Tyler, as he wrapped his arms around Callum’s waist, kissing him over and over as he led them both across the living room. 

“I must spend half my time in the bedroom.” Callum smiled. 

“Can’t help it. Your too amazing.”

Callum grinned at Tyler, letting him take him upstairs. 

~*~

“I reckon you should just sell your flat...”

“Sell it?!” Callum lifted his head up off Tyler’s chest, looking at him a little shocked. 

“Yeah, why’s that a shock? I’ve asked you to move in. What’s the point of paying rent in an empty flat?”

“Suppose...”

Callum wasn’t so sure. 

“You do still want to move in?” Tyler frowned. 

“Yeah, course I do. I just I like my flat. It’s home.”

“This can be your home.” Tyler smiled. 

“Yeah... I’m gonna go see Ben later by the way. Can’t remember if I told you.”

“Thought we were going out, together?”

“I haven’t seen him for ages, Ty? He probably hates me.”

“Doubt it. Come on, we can spend the day together, then come back here and do something?”

“Something meaning going to bed?” Callum raised his eyes. 

“What?” Tyler grinned. 

“I am going to see him though. I’m not letting him down again.”

“Fine.” He huffed, sliding out of bed. 

“Arr, don’t be like that, Ty!”

Callum grabbed Tyler’s hand, as he slid out of bed. 

“I’m going to the bathroom. May as well drop into work, if your not spending the day with me.” 

He dropped Callum’s hand, disappearing. 

“Argh! Why can’t I make anyone happy?!”

He groaned to himself, dropping his head back down on the pillow, pulling another one over his head.

Callum managed to drag himself out of bed, going to find Tyler after he’d showered and changed. 

“Come on, Tyler, you can’t ignore me forever.”

Tyler carried on ignoring him, making himself coffee, he walked into the living room, ignoring Callum. 

“Tyler!” 

Callum groaned, making himself one, turning around and jumping when Tyler appeared again. 

“God, don’t do that to me! I nearly had a heart attack!”

“Why you dressed like that?”

“Like what?” Callum looked down at himself frowning. He was wearing one his shirts with some skinny jeans. 

“You going to see Ben like that?”

“Yeah? Why, what’s wrong with it?”

Callum looked back up at Tyler, looking him over. 

“You trying to impress him?”

“What?! No! It’s just the first thing I picked!”

“Wearing a tight shirt. Skinny jeans. What you hoping for, that he’ll throw himself at you?”

“No! I’ve told you this so many times, Ty! How many times do I need to tell you, I’m with you! Ben is my best friend! You need stop being jealous and calm down!”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He hissed. 

“Like what?!”

“Talking back to me. You need to stop being rude.”

“I’ve not-“

Tyler strode over to Callum, snatching the mug from his hands, some of it sloshing over the sides onto Callum’s wrist and down his hand. 

“Ow! What’s wrong with you?! It’s just some clothes! I’ve burnt myself now!”

Tyler hit it down onto the countertop, more of it spilling over the sides and dribbling over the side of the countertop, dripping onto the floor. 

Callum rubbed his wrist, looking at his hand, starting to go red. Tyler just stood there watching him. 

“Look, it was an accident. I can wrap it up, it’ll be fine.” Callum told him, Tyler still watching him. 

Tyler took a step forward, grabbing Callum’s hand, bending it, taking a look at his wrist, his palm staying to bleed. 

“Ow, be careful, it’s sore!” Callum cried. 

Tyler dropped it, stepping back. He was too calm. 

“You, Callum, are too rude.”

“I haven’t done anything! Your like this because I’m going to see, Ben?!”

“I’m not like anything! Don’t turn this around on me.” He snapped. 

“I’m not! All I’m trying to do is go see my friend?!”

Callum could see Tyler’s eyes keep flicking from Callum’s face back to his wrist. 

“I haven’t done anything wrong.” Tyler glared. 

“And neither have I!! I’m only wearing some jeans. I just want to see him, I haven’t seen him in weeks! I’m my own person, I can make decisions myself!”

Tyler glanced up at Callum. He knew what Tyler was going to do before Callum even properly processed it. 

Tyler stepped forward, pushing Callum against the countertop, making him bend backwards over it slightly. 

“Tyler! What are you doing?!” Callum searched his face trying to understand why he was doing this. Because of Ben? 

“I’ve never told you what to do. You make your own decisions. You go and see Ben. You spend so much time with him. Too much time.” He hissed. 

“I’ve hardly seen him lately!”

“Do you want him?”

“What? No! I don’t want anyone else!” 

Callum whined as Tyler gripped the top of his arms, bending him over the countertop, so Tyler was towering over him. 

“I’m not a bad person! Why don’t you trust me!” He shook Callum slightly, as he spoke every word. 

“I know your not. I do trust you! Just let me go, Tyler, your hurting me again!”

“Again? We’ve already had this conversation, Callum. Your starting to sound like a stuck record now. That happened like months ago, I haven’t touched you since.” He sneered. 

“I know, I know! Come on Tyler. Just let me go...”

Tyler bunched his fists in Callum’s shirt, flipping him around and slamming him against the door. 

“You said you trusted me!”

“I do! I haven’t ever said I don’t...”

Callum shook his head, turning his head away, from Tyler. 

“If you trust me, why won’t you look at me?”

“I can’t...” Callum whispered, instantly regretting it. 

“Why?!” He let go of Callum, slamming his hands against the door, either side of Callum’s head, making him whine. 

“Callum! Why are you scared of me?” Callum squeezed his eyes shut Tyler turning his head to face him, but still not opening his eyes.

“I wasn’t!” Callum forced himself to look at Tyler, seeing that same fire in his eyes as before, months ago at the flat. 

“So you are now??” 

“No! I meant I’m not! Why would I be scared of you?!”

“So why say you weren’t, like you are now?”

“I swear I’m not...” Ignoring the question Tyler just asked. 

Callum could feel himself shaking, the door rattling slightly under it. “Just calm down, Ty...”

“Calm down! I was fine until you went and got too rude.”

“I’m sorry...” Callum whispered. Callum flinched at Tyler’s touch, holding Callum’s face in his hands getting him to look at him. 

“You haven’t thought about me in all of this. You can’t keep swapping between us both.”

“I’m not! I do think about you! Course I care about you!”

“Have you ever been with Ben whilst I wasn’t there, I bet he’s all over you as I turn my back.”

“I haven’t! He isn’t. I keep trying to tell you but your not listening!”

“I am listening!” Tyler gripped onto Callum’s shoulders instead. 

Callum thought Tyler was going to push him against the door, but he didn’t, just holding onto Callum. 

“Don’t you trust me too?” Callum whispered. 

Tyler ignored him, instead pushing Callum sideways roughly, swinging the kitchen door open and slamming it again behind him. 

Callum stayed where he was, hearing the front door slamming too. He stood where he was for a while in case Tyler came back, but he heard nothing. 

Callum slid down the door onto the floor pulling his knees into his chest, rocking himself slightly, choking out sobs, letting his tears fall.


	19. Chapter 19

Callum wrapped a tea towel around his hand, dragging himself upstairs into bed, resting his hand in the towel on his pillow next to him. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, trying forget what just happened. Wishing that it hadn’t happened and he dreamt it. He’d wake up and it wouldn’t have happened, Tyler would be asleep next to him and his hand would be okay, they’d be okay. 

Callum eventually drifted off, not sure how long he slept but woke to the sound of Tyler’s voice. 

“Callum...” He whispered. “Callum!” Sounding more insistent. 

Callum opened his eyes slowly, forgetting what had happened for a few seconds before it came back to him and he squeezed his eyes shut again. 

“Come here.” Callum looked up to see Tyler sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m warm.” Callum whined. Almost childlike as he pulled the cover over head, still half asleep. 

“Come. Here.” 

Callum sighed and pulled the duvet off himself, shuffling over to Tyler slowly, knowing not to push when he used that voice. The same he’d used before he hurt him in the kitchen earlier and at the flat, months ago. 

“Let me look.” Tyler told him. 

Callum took the towel off his hand gently, looking at it. It looked a little raw, his palm still bleeding slightly. A lot of it soaked into the towel, it still hadn’t stopped bleeding all the while Tyler had gone. 

He should have cleaned himself up as soon as he’d done it. But he dragged himself to bed anyway, not feeling the pain in his hand, too busy trying to forget. 

It immediately started dribbling down Callum’s hand the moment he took the towel off. He probably made it worse by not cleaning it up. 

“It’s fine...” Callum whispered anyway. 

Tyler took Callum’s hand in his gently, the opposite of what he was like a couple of hours ago. Calm, delicately holding Callum’s hand incase he hurt him. 

“Doesn’t look fine. It’s still bleeding, should have stopped by now.”

“It’ll be fine. It’s just cos I didn’t sort it when you were gone. Just looks worse than it is. Stick the towel back on it.”

“I got those when I was out.” Tyler nodded to a dressing on the bed. 

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

Tyler held Callum’s hand gently, lightly wiping it clean with a wipe. 

Callum snatched his hand back at the first touch. 

“Aa! Stings...”

“Just let me. It’ll feel better when I’ve finished.” 

Tyler held his hand out, waiting for Callum to give him his hand back to him. 

Callum tried pulling it back a couple of times when it stung, but Tyler held on, not letting him go. 

“See? Looks better all ready.” Tyler said offering Callum a smile. 

Callum looked at his hand instead, ignoring him, as Tyler put cream on it making Callum wince. 

“Sorry, I’ve nearly done.”

Tyler could feel Callum’s hand straining against his grip at the cream stinging him. 

“I didn’t spill the coffee on purpose you know...”

Callum looked up at him, Tyler offering him an apologetic smile again. 

“I know...” He whispered. 

“I spilt it and some of it managed to get on you.”

“It was an accident. I get it. Accidents happen.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Callum frowned, looking up at Tyler. 

“For understanding. You’ve got to know I’m not like that, violent. I’d never actually hit you.”

Tyler dropped his hand briefly grabbing the dressing, before taking Callum’s hand back in his own wrapping it up. 

“I know your not... You’ve got to believe there is no me and Ben. It’s just me and you.”

“I know. It’s just me being stupid, getting paranoid.”

“Your not stupid.” Callum whispered. 

Tyler smiled at Callum, wrapping a bandage around his hand. 

“I know I held on a little hard and I’m sorry for that, but I’d never hit you, I don’t want you to be hurting. I know your hand is hurting but I meant cos I actually hurt you. I wouldn’t be like those people who control their partners or hurt them just because they can.”

“I know you aren’t like that...”

“And I know you can wear what you like. I would never want to control you. It’s just Ben, I know he cares about you, a lot. And I don’t want him to try and take you away from me.”

“He isn’t. Ben is just my friend. I don’t see him any other way and he doesn’t see me any other way. Just friends. I have told you before...

“I really think he likes you...”

Callum said nothing still watching Tyler wrap his hand up. 

Tyler frowned at him, when Callum ignored him. 

“It’s just if someone found I’d just done this, they’d think I do it all the time. It was an accident...”

“Well, it won’t be coming from me. It’s only coffee.” Neither of them mentioning how Tyler had him against the door. Both avoiding it and referring to the coffee. 

Callum offered Tyler a small smile, Tyler smiling widely at him. 

“I really am sorry for this. I’ll stay away from coffee for a while.” He smiled. 

Callum took his hand back after Tyler had finished, looking at the pile of bloody dressings on the bed next to him. 

“I know you are. It’s not like you actually hurt me was it? I mean, you didn’t actually hurt me, apart from the hand.” Callum waved his hand, putting it back down. 

“Yeah.” Tyler smiled widely at Callum, chucking the bloody tissues into the bin beside them, holding Callum’s hand that he hadn’t hurt. “Come on let’s get you back to bed.” Tyler kissed his hand, holding Callum’s face in his hands instead, pressing a light kiss to Callum’s lips too. 

Callum stood up, glancing at Tyler, still wary. 

“I’m still going, Ty...”

Tyler stood up holding Callum’s wrist, holding his other, hurt one close to him. 

“No!” Callum snatched his wrist back, spinning around. “I’m not putting up with this! I swear if you try it again, I’m not doing this anymore!”

“Callum-“

“No! Just stop. I’m going see my friend and your staying here.”

“I wasn’t going to touch you!” Tyler cried. 

Callum’s face softened slightly, realising Tyler was telling the truth. 

“I wasn’t...” Tyler whispered. 

Callum walked back over to him, rubbing down his arms, but not saying anything. 

“Just go and see him.” Tyler whispered, looking up at Callum. 

Callum nodded, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

Tyler dropped back down onto the bed, watching Callum head back downstairs.


	20. Chapter 20

Callum let himself into Ben’s, through the kitchen, heading to the living room. Ben wasn’t there. 

“Ben?!” He called upstairs. Still nothing. 

“Bai!” Callum turned around, Bailey running into the living room, around Callum’s legs. 

“Bailey, don’t go ruining anything okay? Tyler goes crazy when you chew his shoes, don’t go chewing Ben’s either. I’m sure he won’t appreciate you eating one. What’s he gonna do with only one shoe, eh?”

Bailey scampered off, sniffing everything. 

Callum sighed, dropping down onto the sofa, waiting for Ben.

Ben had given him a key ages ago, so he could get in if he wasn’t there. 

He looked at his hand, the bandage wrapped around it. He closed his eyes, trying to unsee the anger in Tyler’s eyes. Callum sniffed, wiping a tear away from his cheek, with his other hand, more slipping down his cheek anyway. 

He stood up, heading to the large bookcase, the other side of the room, reaching for the bottle of whiskey Ben kept at the top. 

Callum smiled to himself, remembering Ben calling it his secret stash. 

He noticed a photo on a lower shelf of Lexi in middle of him and Ben. He’d never seen it on the side before. 

Callum picked it up, walking slowly back to the sofa, looking at it. He slot it under his arm, his other hand wrapped in the bandage unable to use it, taking a swig of the whiskey on his way. 

He fell down on the sofa, propping the photo up on the coffee table, drinking more of the whiskey, staring at it. 

He remembered that day so clearly. It was from before he met Tyler, when Ben and Callum had planned to go a see a film at the cinema, but Lexi wanted to tag along so they took Lexi too, watching something more suitable instead. Lexi grinning taking a selfie of the three of them, sitting in their row. 

“Drowning your sorrows?”

Callum looked up at Ben, standing in the doorway, putting his whiskey down on the table. 

He stood up, wrapping his arms around Ben, burying his head in Ben’s neck, hugging him tightly. 

“Woah, what’s this for?” Ben smiled, wrapping his arms around Callum. 

“I’m sorry...” Callum whispered. 

“What for?! You’ve done nothing wrong!” 

“For ignoring you, not being here, for hardly speaking to you, for not being a good friend, for-“

“Hey! Stop that, okay?!” 

Ben pulled away, frowning at Callum, wiping a tear away with his thumb. 

“You are a good friend. An amazing friend actually. You don’t ignore me, I still text you don’t I?”

Callum nodded, looking at the floor. 

“Come on, Cal. You can’t be in two places at once. And I’d never ask you to pick your boyfriend or your friend.”

“Best friend...” Callum glanced at Ben, giving him a small smile. 

“You are my best friend, Cal.” Ben smiled. “Are you upset cos you think I’m annoyed with you?”

Callum shrugged, refusing to look at Ben. 

“Cos I’m not. I know you’ll spend less time with me now cos you’ve got a boyfriend. I’m not expecting you to be with me every second if everyday am I?” Ben smiled. 

“But I’ve not seen you for weeks...”

“You’ve got your own life, Cal, Tyler comes first now, I understand that. I know you care about him a lot.”

“Course I do. But I don’t want you to feel left out either.”

“I don’t.”

Callum sat back down, drinking more of the whiskey. 

“What’s wrong, Cal? You look so sad...”

Ben sat on the edge of the sofa, noticing Callum’s hand and Bailey sitting on the other side. 

“Woahwoahwoah! One, what happened to your hand and Two, since when did you get a dog! Jeez, I really have missed a lot.”

Callum closed his eyes, resting his head back against the wall, Bailey climbing across his lap, to sit on Ben’s lap. He knew Ben wouldn’t take long to notice his hand. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you? I just meant, clearly a lot has happened since I last seen you.” 

Callum lifted his head up shaking his head quickly. 

“You haven’t upset me! Erm, I found Bailey in the park, left in a box. Couldn’t just leave him there, so I took him back to Tyler’s. Think someone abandoned him.”

“Arr, you poor thing.” Ben stroked Bailey’s head, jumping down chewing Ben’s slippers. 

“Bai! I told you not to do that!” Callum took it from him, a hole in the top. “Argh! Now you’ve ruined Ben’s slippers!”

Ben picked Bailey up, placing him in his lap. 

“It’s alright, Cal, I don’t really care. Mum bought em for me for Christmas ages ago. Think I need some new ones anyway.”

“Sorry, Tyler hates it when Bailey chews things.”

“Your alright aren’t you?” Ben smiled at Bailey, trying to lick him. “Your just a puppy. You’ll learn won’t you?”

Callum smiled at Ben fussing Bailey. Tyler hardly went near him. 

“And your hand?” Ben frowned, Callum still hadn’t told him, both sitting in silence for a while. 

Callum took another swig of whiskey, holding it out for Ben to have a drink too. 

Ben took it from him, placing it on the side. 

“Are you okay? You can talk to me, you know?”

“I know. I’m fine though. My hands fine.”

“Doesn’t look fine from where I’m sitting? What happened?”

Callum looked at Ben for a while, his head telling him to come up with an excuse. Ben would go crazy if he found out. So would Tyler. If he knew he’d told Ben. They’d probably end up killing each other. His heart screaming at him to tell him the truth. It was just an accident. It’s not like Tyler poured it on him? He didn’t do it on purpose.


	21. Chapter 21

Ben searched Callum’s face, like he was choosing whether to tell him or not. 

“I burnt it.” Callum managed to get out. 

“Does it hurt?”

Callum nodded, holding it up. “Can barely do anything with it for a while.”

“What happened?” Ben asked again, Callum not answering his question the first time. 

“Oh, right, yeah, I was pouring it... over my hand.”

“You muppet.”

“Hmm, look where that got me.”

“It’ll be alright won’t it?”

“Yeah, course it will. Was only tryna make coffee.” Callum laughed nervously. 

“You wanna know something?” Ben smiled. 

“What??” Callum squinted at Ben, grinning at him. 

“Your supposed to pour boiling water into a mug, not over your hand?” He whispered. 

“Oi! It was an accident.” Callum grinned. 

Ben smiled at him, grinning for the first time he’d been here. 

Callum realised Ben wasn’t having any of the whiskey so reached for it again, only for Ben to push it out of reach. 

“What’s wrong, Cal?” Ben whispered. 

“Nothing.”

Ben sighed as Callum reached further, taking it back anyway, drinking some more. 

“Thought you liked daytime drinking?” Callum asked. 

“Not whiskey and half a bottle.”

“There’s nothing wrong.” Callum repeated. 

“Just talk to me, Cal. I know there’s something wrong, so just please, let me help you.”

Callum sighed putting the bottle down on the coffee table. His gaze fell upon Bailey in Ben’s lap. 

“Me and Ty had an argument, cos Bailey was chewing the furniture, okay?”

“That’s it?”

“Yes, Ben, I told you I was fine. He got annoyed, I told him to stop taking it out on Bailey end of. I told him he’s just a puppy, but that sofa cost a lot.”

Bailey jumped off Ben, running off somewhere, so Ben shuffled next to Callum, wrapping his arms around him. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, resting his head against Ben’s chest as he held onto Callum. 

“Are you sure that’s it?” Ben whispered. He buried his nose in Callum’s hair, not seeming to notice the closeness of him. Ben pressed the lightest of kisses to Callum’s hair so he wouldn’t know, stroking down his back. 

“Course it is.” Callum nodded against Ben’s chest. 

“Your here, but it’s like your not. Your head is somewhere else.” Ben whispered. 

“I’m not?”

“You are, Callum. You’ve got something on your mind and your not telling me.”

“I’m fine, honestly.” Callum pulled away, looking at Ben so he’d know. “I’m good.” He nodded. 

Ben looked at him for a second longer, holding his arm out for Callum to nestle into. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea...” Callum whispered. 

Tyler wouldn’t like it, if he knew he was hugging Ben on the sofa. 

“What, why? I’m only trying to help?” Ben put his arm back down, frowning at Callum. “I’m just a friend trying to help another friend? What’s wrong with that?”

For a split second, Ben thought Callum knew he loved him. But dismissed it quickly. He couldn’t know. 

Callum looked at Ben, trying to comfort him. Tyler insisted that Ben fancied him, but Ben just said they were just friends. What was wrong in hugging your best friend?

Ben smiled to himself, when Callum shuffled over, Ben wrapping his arm around him, as Callum rested his head on Ben’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He was still cradling the whiskey bottle in his hands. 

“You found the photo, then?” Ben smiled, spotting it on the table. 

“Yeah, didn’t know you had it in a frame?”

“Lexi made me go and buy a frame for it. She said it’s her favourite photo and wanted it to be in living room. She really loves you.”

“Do you remember when something made her jump and she threw the popcorn over us?” Callum smiled at the photo. 

“Yeah and when she ate all the sweets and was running around for hours after.” Ben smiled to himself remembering that day together, like it was yesterday. “Have it, I’ve got another one of it somewhere.”

“Yeah?”

Ben smiled at Callum, taking it out of the photo frame for him. He held it out for him, Callum folding it up and placing it in his wallet. 

Callum loved Lexi too. He’d never had a friend like Ben either. They did everything together. Told each other everything. They could trust each other with anything. 

“You can remember our day at the cinema now, if your ever feeling sad.” Ben smiled. 

“I will, but I’m not sad now.”

“Only cos of your argument with Tyler about Bailey.”

“It’ll be fine. Tyler doesn’t stay annoyed for long. We sorted it out before I came here anyway, so stop worrying, I’m perfectly fine.”

They sat in silence for a while, Callum aware of Ben stroking his side. But he didn’t move away, it felt nice lying here. Tyler wasn’t the most affectionate person, but he still cared. Callum knew he cared. But they never sat like this on the sofa, keeping each other safe, warm. He felt safe with Ben. 

“Tyler’s asked me to move in with him.” Callum blurted out, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Ben thought someone had just killed him the way he felt just now. He knew it would happen eventually, but not this soon. 

“It’s getting serious then?” Ben said instead. 

“Think so. I just wanted to tell you...”

Ben brought his hand up, stroking Callum’s hair. 

“Do you love him?” Ben whispered. 

Callum was a little shocked at that. 

“Erm, I’m not sure. I know I do care about him a lot. But it’s not been that long. I reckon I would, eventually. Depends how he feels too.”

Ben nodded, saying nothing. It would happen. He knew it. Callum always let people into his heart. 

“It’s quite soon, you’ve only been seeing each other for six months. Maybe he loves you already.” Ben frowned. 

“Maybe...”

Callum lifted his head up, his hand splayed across Ben’s chest to keep himself up. 

“Why’d you ask anyway?”

“Just wondering.” Ben shrugged.

“Okay.” Callum nodded, both of them looking at each other, for what felt like a lifetime. 

Ben’s gaze flicked to Callum’s mouth and back up again to his eyes, just as quickly. Callum thought he’d imagined it, before Ben leaned forward, pressing his lips against Callum’s gently. 

Callum snapped his head back frantically searching Ben’s eyes. 

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m sorry.” Ben groaned seeing the shock on Callum’s face. “It was stupid. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s the alcohol.” Ben struggled to get his words out, trying to fix it. 

Callum looked at Ben, seeing him starting to panic. He hesitated for a second before crashing his mouth back against Ben’s. 

Ben responded instantly kissing him back, holding the sides of Callum’s face gently pulling him closer. 

“You haven’t had any of the alcohol...” Callum whispered.

Shit. Ben saw the bottle on the side and came up with the first excuse. But it felt right kissing Callum, like something finally clicked after all these years. 

Ben kissed him harder, pushing Callum back against the sofa, moaning into his mouth. 

He licked across Callum’s bottom lip, encouraging him to let him in, but Callum pulled his head away. 

“What’s wrong?” Ben frowned. 

“I’ve got a boyfriend. Your my best friend, Ben...”

Callum groaned to himself, lacing his hand through Ben’s hair and pulled his head back down to his own anyway.

Ben lay ontop of Callum, kissing his mouth over and over. He just couldn’t get enough. He’d wanted to do this for so long. Hoping Callum would realise how much he loved him on his own. He didn’t know if he knew he loved him or just liked him, but he didn’t care. All he knew right now, was that he was kissing Callum and it felt amazing. Their mouths and bodies melting together, like they belonged to each other. 

Ben needed more. Callum was intoxicating, making him crave more. Addictive almost. He reached between them, unzipping his jeans. 

Callum stopped kissing him, Ben not seeming to notice. 

“I can’t, Ben!”

Ben ignored him, trying to pull his jeans down, his head cleared of anything else, clouded with the way Callum’s mouth tasted, the way his aftershave filled his senses, they way he felt underneath him.

“Ben, no! Just stop. I can’t do this.” Callum pushed him up slightly, Ben shuffling off him. 

“What did I do?”

“Nothing. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed you again.”

“I wanted you to.” Ben smiled. 

“No,no,no,No! Don’t say that, Ben! Please! This isn’t how it’s meant to be!” Callum groaned. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

Callum stood up, rearranging his jeans and shirt. 

“Callum! Come on, don’t go!”

“I’ve got a boyfriend, Ben! Your my best friend!! I can’t sleep with you! It shouldn’t have happened.” 

Callum turned around, calling Bailey. 

“Bai! Come on, we need to go home.”

Home. Ben groaned to himself, Callum already calling Tyler’s, home. 

“Please, Callum. We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t - Bailey! Come here!- I shouldn’t have kissed you, end of. It was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

Callum walked through the kitchen, Bailey following him quickly. 

Ben groaned to himself, pulling a cushion over his head. 

Callum got the other side of the door, slowing down and squeezing his eyes shut.

“What have I just done...” Callum whispered to himself, his tears slipping down his face.


	22. Chapter 22

Callum stood rooted to the spot on the other side of the door of Ben’s house. He held his hands out in front of him, looking at them, shaking uncontrollably. 

What had he just done? 

He’d kissed his best friend? He let Ben kiss him?! He wanted him to??!!

Callum groaned, walking slowly away from Ben’s house, it shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake, he kept telling himself. 

Was he trying to convince himself? He didn’t know what to believe anymore. 

How come Tyler knew Ben fancied him but he’d never noticed after all these years? Why didn’t he see it?

Callum let out another groan, having so many questions but not knowing the answers to any of them. 

All he knew was that, Ben kissed him. And he kissed Ben. Twice. And Tyler was still at home, his boyfriend. 

“What if Tyler finds out, Bai...”

Callum dropped down onto a bench, Bailey jumping up beside him. 

“You think I should tell him?” 

Bailey rested his head on Callum’s knee, closing his eyes. 

“Why am I even asking a dog that? Argh! What am I doing with my life... It’s so easy being a dog.” Callum sighed. “Nothing complicated.”

Callum sat there for a while, stroking Bailey, closing his eyes, listening to nothing. 

“We best go home, Tyler will be wondering where we both are. Well, more me, don’t think he’s a fan of you, always wrecking stuff.”

Callum dragged himself off the bench, Bailey following. 

“Ah...” Callum sat back down, a pain shooting through his back. He closed his eyes, waiting for it to pass. He could practically feel the countertop still pressed in his back, bent over it. 

Callum stood slowly this time, waiting for a few seconds before deciding he was okay. 

~*~

Callum let himself in, sighing quietly at Tyler sitting on the sofa. He hoped he’d be out. 

Tyler looked up, patting next to him. 

Callum slowly crossed the room, sitting next to him, cursing himself for even considering lying to him about kissing Ben.

“I’m sorry.” Tyler whispered again. 

“I know. You said, before I left.”

“Callum, look at me. Please. I said I won’t do it again and I won’t.”

“You said that the very first time. Do you even know how many times you’ve done it?” Callum took his silence as a no. “Three times. And you know what? You’ve said sorry all those times.”

“Callum-“

“No. Wait. I’m telling you this. And I want you to listen.” 

Tyler nodded, Callum looking at him. 

“I meant it. If you keep doing it, I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not putting up with it.”

“I won’t. I swear. I’m so sorry, Callum. You know I care about, I just...”

“Get so angry you take it out on me.”

Tyler looked up at Callum, a tear slipping down his face. 

Callum sighed, wiping it away, pulling him to him. 

“Don’t cry...”

“I’m sorry, Callum. I am.”

“You can’t keep saying it though if you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it! I do. Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around him a little tighter.

“I’m not gonna leave you. I’m sorry too...” He couldn’t get Ben kissing him and him kissing Ben out of his head. 

Tyler looked up, frowning at him. 

“What have you got to be sorry for?”

“I just meant for upsetting you before I left. Cos I shouted at you, when you touched me.” He said quickly. 

“You haven’t.” Tyler smiled. “But I wasn’t going to hurt you in the bedroom, I wasn’t...”

“I know. I was just-“

“Please don’t say scared of me...”

Callum looked at Tyler looking genuinely sorry and guilty. 

He held his face in his hands, looking at Tyler. 

“I’m not scared of you.” Callum told him. 

Tyler nodded slowly. 

“I’m not.” Callum smiled. 

Tyler pressed a kiss to his lips, pushing him back against the sofa, Callum pulling away, seeing Ben again, doing the same. 

“You don’t want to?” Tyler frowned. “Your still angry with me aren’t you?”

“No, sorry, I just thought we could watch a film together, before we do that. We don’t do that often.” Callum smiled weakly, kissing him again. 

Tyler looked at him, nodding slowly. 

“Okay.” Tyler smiled, trying to keep him happy. 

Callum grinned at him, pressing another kiss to his lips, Tyler holding onto his face keeping him where he was. 

“Not now, Ty...”

He ignored him, kissing him over and over. 

Callum managed to pull away, smiling at Tyler still with his hands in his face. 

“Later.” Callum told him. “I’ll go get us beers, you get comfy.”

“I get a bit carried away sometimes.” Tyler smiled. 

Callum smiled at him, standing up. He draped his jacket over the chair, his fingers lingering on it for a few more seconds, seeing Ben smiling at him. 

‘I wanted you to.’ Playing over and over in his head. 

He glanced at Tyler, flashing him a quick smile before heading to the kitchen, letting out a shaky breath. 

Tyler spotted Callum’s phone in his pocket, lighting up with a new message. 

He checked Callum was still in the kitchen, having a look. Ben. He unlocked it to see only two words. 

‘I’m sorry. x’

Tyler squeezed his hand around Callum’s phone, staring at the kiss Ben put in the message. He’d never seen him type one before.

“That mine?” Callum gave him a beer, walking round and sitting next to him.

“Yeah, slipped out your pocket.” He locked the screen, holding it out to Callum. “Ben’s text.”

Callum placed his beer down on the table, quickly taking it from him, feeling queasy. 

“You leave something at his house?” Tyler asked. 

“No, why...” Callum replied absently staring at the screen. 

“He’s texting you and you’ve literally just come from there. Does he want you for something?”

“No.” 

‘So am I- He sent back. For probably freaking Ben out. For running out of there. For telling him it was a mistake when he wasn’t so sure. All left unsaid. His finger hovered over the ‘x’ pressing it, moving to hover over the delete button too. 

“What’s he want?” Tyler asked. 

He pressed send anyway, finishing the message. 

‘So am I. x’

Bailey jumped onto the sofa, sitting next to Callum. 

“Erm, checking on Bailey. Don’t think he was feeling well earlier, he’s alright now though...”

Callum looked at Tyler, searching him. He seemed to buy his lie. 

“We gonna watch this film then?” Tyler smiled, holding his arm out for Callum. 

Callum nodded, shuffling across to Tyler, lying on him, squeezing his eyes shut. Trying not to think about doing this with Ben not too long ago. 

Tyler looked at Callum, gripping onto his phone tightly, knowing damn well Bailey wasn’t ill at all. Callum was lying to him.

He wrapped his arm around Callum, Callum looking up at him offering him a smile. Tyler pressed a kiss to his hair, smiling back.


	23. Chapter 23

Callum slid into bed closing his eyes, still thinking about Ben. He could barely think about anything else. It felt different kissing Ben than when he kissed Tyler. He didn’t known what the feeling was but he did kiss Ben a second time? The gentleness of Ben’s first kiss, compared to Tyler. They were both always so fast together, never taking their time. 

Tyler joined him, wrapping his arm around Callum’s waist shuffling closer to him. He knew what Tyler wanted. 

“My hand hurts and I’m not in the mood, Ty...”

“It’ll take your mind off it, your hand. And you did promise later.” Tyler grinned. 

Tyler kissed Callum’s lips, holding the back of his head, pushing Callum onto his mouth. 

“I can’t...” Callum waved his hand at Tyler. He couldn’t do anything with it wrapped up. 

“I’ll take care of you...” Tyler kissed him again, turning Callum on his back and shuffling down the bed, sliding in between Callum legs, dragging his trousers down. 

“Tyler, I don’t-“

“Shhh, just relax...”

Callum was sure Tyler was a lot rougher. Bruises scattering his waist and hips, probably visible for the next few days. 

After, Tyler pulled Callum into his arms, wrapping them around Callum. 

Callum rested his head on Tyler’s chest, closing his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Tyler lifted Callum’s chin up to look at him.

“Nothing. Just tired.” Callum weakly smiled at him, moving his head from Tyler’s hand lying back on his chest. 

“You do enjoy it though?”

“Course I do, you know I love it...” 

“Told you it’d take your mind off your hand.”

“Yeah...” Callum whispered. 

Callum lay there for a while,Tyler threading his fingers through Callum’s hair, stroking it. 

“I love your hair, you know that?”

“Yeah?” Callum smiled to myself, thinking that Tyler did take care of him. Maybe he was wrong when he thought Tyler wasn’t affectionate to him. He did care.  
“Mm, something to hold onto...” Callum looked up at Tyler, both grinning at each other, as Callum got pulled half on top of Tyler. 

“Again?” Callum smiled anyway. 

“Pleeeaase...” 

“I’m tired...” Callum whispered. 

“You just lie here and let me do everything.”

Tyler kissed Callum, lying him on his back. 

“Relax...”

Tyler lay fully on top of Callum, kissing his mouth over and over, letting him do whatever he wanted. 

~*~

Callum sat up in bed, watching Tyler sleeping. 

He kept flicking his gaze to his phone, quietly picking it up, not realising he had another message from Ben. 

‘Can we talk? I just want see you...’

Callum closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. 

‘I’m sorry, I walked out. I was scared I guess? I know I need to talk to you properly.’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Yours?’

‘Thank you. Don’t be sorry or scared either. It’s just me. It must have been a shock. I’ll explain everything when I see you. x’

‘I’ll come to you. x’

“That Ben?”

Callum jumped looking at Tyler propping himself up on his pillow, resting his head on his hand. 

“No, just checking me emails.”

“Don’t lie to me, Callum?”

“I’m not?”

“What’s Ben sorry for?”

“Did you read my message earlier?!”

Callum looked at Tyler both searching each other’s eyes. 

“Answer the question, Callum.”


	24. Chapter 24

“How did you know?” Callum asked again, ignoring his question.

“It popped up on your screen? I didn’t look on purpose??”

“You still don’t know my password? How did you get in?”

“It was already unlocked? I’m not lying to you, Callum. Even though your lying to me. What’s he sorry for?”

Callum ignored him, staring at his lap. 

“Callum?! Has he upset you?”

“No!” He cried. “No, I mean, no course not.” He toned down, trying to keep calm. 

“What’s he sorry for then?”

“Why didn’t you say anything before we went to bed if he text ages ago?” Callum said instead. 

“Why did you lie?” He said flatly, shrugging his shoulders, avoiding Callum’s question. 

Callum looked at Tyler, waiting for him. 

“I...”

Tyler sat up properly, reaching his hand up, turning Callum’s chin to face him. 

“Look at me, Callum. Why. Did. You. Lie?”

“Cos I know you don’t like me talking to him...” Callum whispered, trying to take his head from Tyler’s hand, but he held on. 

“I’ve never said that. Why. Is he. Sorry?!”

“He just wasn’t happy cos I’m moving in!”

It was such a lame excuse. But he’d never drop Ben in it. He couldn’t let Tyler think Ben was saying anything else bad either. But he had to be sorry about something or he wouldn’t have sent the text. 

“Yeah?? Why would that make him sorry?”

“Cos I told him if he isn’t going to accept us together, then I can’t be his friend...”

Tyler smiled at that, finally letting go of Callum’s face. 

“I knew he fancied you!” He declared, glaring in front of him. 

“He doesn’t! I asked him why he wasn’t happy and he just said cos he already spends less time with me and now I’m moving further away!” 

He was surprised how easy his lies rolled off his tongue. Just so Tyler wouldn’t hurt Ben too. 

“You already have?”

“Not yet? I’ve still got to move some stuff?”

“That’s what I meant. So your not in good terms with him?”

“No... I sort of just left.”

“Good.”

“Good?!”

“I meant, if he can’t get used to the idea that I’ve got you, he shouldn’t be your friend.”

Callum said nothing at that. ‘I’ve got you?’ They were meant to be a partnership, not Tyler ‘having’ him. 

“That’s all I lied about. Cos I knew you’d react like this.”

“React like this?!” Tyler turned Callum’s head again, forcing him to look at him. “Like what?? I’ve done nothing wrong! You lied to me Callum!”

“I’m sorry, okay?! I just didn’t want to upset you!”

“Argh, come on Callum! Upset me?! I’m not upset up cos of Ben?”

Callum frowned at Tyler, as he pulled his head closer to him, mere inches from Tyler’s. 

“I’m upset, no angry, cos you lied to my face. I’m angry cos Ben fancies you and-“

“He doesn’t!” Callum whined, closing his eyes. 

“Listen to me! He fancies you and your mine Callum. You understand that?”

Callum nodded quickly. 

“Look at me.” Tyler whispered. 

Callum opened his eyes slowly, meeting Tyler’s gaze. 

“You understand that?” He repeated. 

“Yeah...”

“Do you?”

“Yes! Course I do! I’m yours. Ben doesn’t like me like that!” He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care. “He doesn’t, I swear. He just can’t go out drinking with me much anymore!”

“You swear on your life, that’s it? Nothing else I need to know about you two?”

Callum could feel himself shaking under Tyler’s grip, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

“There is no, ‘Us two.’”He whispered instead.

“I want you to swear on your life. You swear, nothing is going on between you both. Cos if I found out you’ve cheated on me with him. Ben isn’t gonna look so pretty anymore...”

“I swear...” He whispered. 

“So he isn’t sorry, cos he made a pass at you? Or you slept with him! Or you’ve been seeing him all this time?”

“No! I haven’t slept with him, ever. I’m with you. I’m not with Ben!” Conveniently missing out making a pass at him. He didn’t make a pass. He actually managed to kiss Callum. Twice. 

“So he’s never tried to tell you he fancies you in any way?”

“He doesn’t fancy me! He hasn’t done anything...”

“And you haven’t done anything?”

“Course not!!”

Tyler squinted at Callum for a few more seconds, finally letting go of his face. 

“And you swear that’s it? There’s nothing else I need to know? It was just because Ben wants to get drunk all the all time?”

“He doesn’t get drunk all the...” He trailed off, seeing Tylers gaze turn back to him slowly. “Yes.” Callum whispered. “There’s nothing else for you to know...”

“Good. Cos if you’ve lied to me again, I don’t think I’ll be able to trust you again.”

“I won’t.” Callum replied instantly. 

“Good.” Tyler huffed. 

Callum sighed, watching him lie back down, facing away from Callum. 

Tyler seemed to forget about the messages from earlier, so Callum, deleted them, sliding his phone back onto the side. He had to now, incase he forgot to lock it again. 

Callum let out a shaky breath as Tyler seemed to buy more of his lies. He didn’t realise he’d say absolutely anything, lie to his boyfriend, to protect Ben.


	25. Chapter 25

Callum slid out of bed the following morning, being careful not to wake Tyler up. 

He winced, when the floor creaked, stopping quickly, closing his eyes, waiting to hear his voice. 

Callum let out sigh, when Tyler didn’t wake, creeping down stairs. 

“Hey, Bai.” Callum smiled at Bailey in the kitchen, quickly feeding him. “You coming with me? Bet Ben would like to see you again. You like Ben don’t you?”

Callum groaned realising he hadn’t brought any clothes down with him. He couldn’t go back upstairs now, he’d wake Tyler up. 

“For crying out loud.” He muttered. 

He found some jeans in the washing basket, cursing to himself when he couldn’t find a fresh shirt. 

Callum sighed, dragging his jacket on, his coat over the top, zipping it up. 

He hadn’t even decided what he’d say to Tyler when he got back. Spin more lies probably. 

Callum waited for Bailey to finish eating, glancing upstairs impatiently. 

“Come on! Can’t you be a bit quicker!”

Callum ushered Bailey through the kitchen, as soon as he’d finished, crossing the room quickly, slipping outside and locking the front door. 

He breathed out, getting outside without Tyler noticing. 

“Right, come on, we need to see Ben. Well, I do. You’ll just eat his shoes again.”

Callum walked instead of taking his car, knowing it was still early, Bailey following behind. He didn’t need his lead anymore, he followed Callum everywhere. 

He let himself into Ben’s, knowing no one else would be up yet either, so there’s no point in knocking. 

He didn’t know whether to just wait for Ben to get up. He only got up early to dodge Tyler.

Callum stood in the middle of the living room for a minute, glancing at Bailey. 

“Should I? Or is that weird? Make it even more awkward?”

Callum sighed making his mind up, and heading upstairs to Ben’s room. 

He opened the door slowly, slipping inside, Bailey following, shutting it again quietly. 

Callum crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to Ben. 

“Ben...” He whispered. “Ben...”

Callum lightly touched Ben’s shoulder, smiling at Ben moaning to himself. 

“Go away, Mum, s’too early...”

Ben scrunched his nose up, burying his face in the pillow. 

“It’s me, you muppet.”

“Me? You sound like...” Ben opened one eye, blinking a couple of times, presuming he was dreaming. He thought it was Callum’s voice. Callum was sitting on the edge of his bed. 

“Sorry to wake you, I needed to come when Tyler was still asleep.”

Ben smiled, reaching out, patting Callum’s knee. 

“S’fine. Wake me up instead.” He said sarcastically. 

“Is it weird I’m in your room, after what happened yesterday?” Callum whispered, trying not to wake anyone else up. 

“Dunno, do you think it is?” Ben smiled.

“A little.” Callum shrugged. 

Ben rubbed his eyes, pushing himself up and shuffling over, patting next to him. 

“You’ve been in here before?” Ben reminded. 

“You hadn’t kissed me before.” Callum raised his eyes at Ben. 

“There is that...” Ben winced. 

Callum hesitated, before sliding himself round and sitting next to Ben on his bed. 

“You wanted to talk, see me. I’m here. How do we even talk about this, Ben?” Callum sighed, looking at his lap. 

“Tell each other what we need to? Why’d you have to come out the house before Tyler knew anyway?” Ben frowned. 

“It’s complicated...” Callum sighed. 

“We’re sitting here at six in the morning, Cal, we’ve got hours. I’m all for complicated.” 

Callum smiled at Ben, looking at each other for a while. 

“Talk to me, Cal. Your different-“

“No, I’m not...”

“You are!” He pat his hand on Callum’s arm, resting it there. “You are...” He whispered again. “I just want you to tell me.”

“He doesn’t like you.” Callum sighed. “Thinks you fancy me and he’s jealous, I guess.”

Ben didn’t say anything, watching Bailey jump on the bed, curling up on Ben’s lap. 

“Why does this feel so awkward, Ben...”

Ben looked at Callum, wringing his hands together in his lap. 

“Cos I kissed you? And you kissed me?” Callum looked back at Ben, searching his face. 

“Why’d you do it?” Callum whispered. “And don’t say it was the alcohol, cos you didn’t drink any.”

“It wasn’t the alcohol, Cal...”

Callum looked back at Ben, Ben shrugging his shoulders.

“You know why I kissed you.” Ben finished. 

“Do I? I don’t understand any of this anymore...”

“Well, when a guy kisses another guy it usually means-“

“I know that!” Callum glared. 

“Wait, why are you still wearing your coat.” Ben frowned. 

“It’s cold in here!”

“No it’s not?”

“Don’t you dare laugh...” Callum warned, glaring at him. 

Ben held his hands up, smiling at him. “No, laughing.”

“Your already smiling!”

“Just take the coat off Callum.”

“I haven’t got anything on underneath my jacket, okay?! I didn’t want to wake Tyler, got downstairs then realised I hadn’t got a shirt! Stop laughing. You said you wouldn’t!” Callum smacked him on his arm, Ben still grinning at him. 

Callum took his coat off, wearing his jacket. 

“You still wear that?” Ben smiled. 

“Yeah, you bought it for me!”

“Thought you’d wear it once and not again!” Ben chuckled. 

“No, course not! I wear it all the time!”

“You do?”

“Course I do, it’s from you...”

Ben smiled at Callum, Callum watching Ben shuffle off the bed.

“Where you going?” Callum frowned. 

“Get you this.”

He spun around, throwing a shirt at Callum. 

“This gonna fit?” Callum frowned. “Your a bit small.”

“Oi! Just stick it on.”

Callum shrugged, chucking his jacket across the bottom of the bed. 

Ben stood rooted to spot unable to tear his gaze away from Callum’s bare upper half, his gaze roving over him. 

Callum noticed his gaze, pulling the shirt over his head. 

Ben shook his head, sliding back into the bed next to Callum, his gaze flicking to the tightness of it, showing his muscles hidden underneath. 

Ben sighed, remembering Jay telling him to tell Callum how he really felt. If he couldn’t now, when could he? Was there a right time?

“Anyway, what I was saying earlier, when I kissed you, I did it because...”

Ben hesitated, not wanting anything to change between them. It already had. He thought they both knew anyway, just neither of them had said it aloud.

“I kissed you because I love you, Callum...”


	26. Chapter 26

“What did you just say?” Callum cleared his throat, his voice suddenly about a hundred octaves higher.

“I love you, Callum.”

“M-Me?”

Ben sighed, holding onto the sides of Callum’s face. Callum glanced nervously down at his hands, telling himself to tell Ben to get them off, if Tyler knew...

“Yes, Callum! I’ve always loved you...”

“You... love me?”

“For crying out Callum! How else do you need me to spell it out?” Ben smiled. “I’ve loved you for so long... I don’t know, like... ages! And I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was... scared.”

“Scared?” Callum frowned, aware of Ben stroking his cheeks with his thumbs.

“Cos I thought maybe you just thought of me as your friend, I mean you still do. But I need to tell you. And if you don’t feel the same way then that’s fine. Cos you know I’d never push you or force you into anything...” Ben trailed off, looking at Callum staring at him.

“I’ve freaked you out haven’t I? Let’s just forget I said anything, and go back to before.” Ben hurried out, not wanting to scare Callum away.

“No!” Callum curled his hand over Ben’s hands, Ben staring at their hands together. “No, it’s not that. I thought maybe you liked me and Tyler insisted you fancied me but I didn’t know you _loved_ me. Like _in love_ with me...“  


“I do Cal... I do love you.”

”There’s a big difference between liking someone and loving them. Probably where I got it wrong. You love me.” Callum smiled.

”I love you and I’m in love you. Two different things, I know I have both of those things for you.”

”I kept telling myself you didn’t like me like that, Tyler was convinced...”

“Wait Tyler knows!” Ben searched Callum’s eyes, trying to work it out quick enough.

“I kept saying you didn’t though. Don’t worry, he’s not gonna hurt you.”

“Why would he hurt me? I meant just shout at me or something? Cos he’s your boyfriend...”

“That’s what I meant.” Callum added quickly. “Does anyone else know?”

“I told Jay.”

“Just him?”

Ben nodded quickly. He smiled at Callum still holding his hands over Ben’s, neither wanting to let go.

Callum nodded too, as long as no one else knew, Tyler shouldn’t find out.

“I kept trying to find the right time to tell you, but every time I did, I freaked out and bottled it. Then you told me you’d got a boyfriend and you were happy...”

Callum sighed, squeezing Ben’s hands gently.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Callum whispered.

“I didn’t want anything to change between us, cos I like what we have.”

“I think it already has.” Callum smiled.

“I’ve told you now, so I guess it’s up to you to decide. I’m glad I have though.”

“Decide?!”

“Not decide if you love me too! Just if you can still be my friend knowing that I love you...”

Callum closed his eyes, his head telling him to go, every time Ben said he loved him, but he couldn’t make himself. Ben was still holding his face. And it wasn’t like Tyler did. His hands were soft and it was gentle and it-

Callum sighed, keeping his eyes closed, when he felt Ben’s lips brush against his own, light at first, Ben asking for permission, some kind of acceptance from Callum, so Callum pressed a harder kiss to his lips, giving Ben all the confirmation he needed.

Ben took his hands from Callum’s face, curling his fingers around the back of Callum’s neck, kissing him over and over, licking across his bottom lip, still asking if he was okay with it all.

Why was Ben so different? Being with Tyler was always so fast and he never asked Callum what he really wanted. He knew neither of them were speaking, but Ben was silently asking if he felt comfortable with this. 

Callum ignored his head screaming at him to stop and parted his lips, Ben instantly licking into Callum’s mouth. 

Callum moaned at the sensation, how amazing all this felt, so let Ben push him back, resting his head on Ben’s pillow. 

Ben swung his leg round, Callum looking a little startled, as Ben wrapped his legs around him. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop, Callum...”

Ben smiled at Callum still with his eyes closed, as he ignored him. Presuming he didn’t want him to stop. He pressed another hard kiss to his lips, trailing them along his jaw. 

“Tell me not to lie on you, Cal...”

Callum sighed at the feel, the lightness of it all, concentrating on Ben’s mouth travelling down his neck.

Callum cried out when Ben reached the spot just between his neck and shoulder, trying to calm himself down, feelings he’d never felt before rising up inside of him.

He whined at the loss of Ben’s mouth, when he pulled away, to look at Callum.

“You like that?” Ben whispered.

Callum looked at Ben, his eyes shining.

Right now, he couldn’t even remember what colour eyes Tyler had. Blue? Green? Maybe they were Brown?

All he was seeing was Ben’s eyes sparkling with this special shade of Blue. It wasn’t just blue to him, it was everything he’d ever wanted to see. It had only taken him forever, for him to finally notice Ben. Not just his eyes-

Callum reached up stroking his thumb across Ben’s lips, smiling at him. His smile was so soft, always gentle whatever he did. His lips just felt perfect. Ben kissed the pad of Callum’s finger, smiling at Callum checking him over. 

That’s what was so different. Tyler was fast and rough and gave what he wanted. Ben was always so soft and gentle and wanted to give what Callum wanted. 

“You want me to do it again?” Ben grinned, whispering against Callum’s thumb tracing Ben’s lips slowly. 

His voice was even better, soothing even. A smile always hidden in his voice somewhere. If he Callum was upset or angry, he spoke so softly. If he was happy, Ben would be so happy too. He could listen to Ben talking about nothing to him all day. 

Callum smiled, Ben pressing a light kiss to his lips. He licked along Callum’s neck, kissing where he’d just found his sensitive spot, earning him another moan from Callum.

Callum laced his hand through Ben’s hair, pushing his head onto his neck, needing to feel more. His hair was amazing too, a longer cut so he could thread his fingers through it, so soft.

Callum lifted his head up, burying his nose in Ben’s hair, breathing him in. He always used the same shampoo, that smelt so good. He’d never really noticed until now, he’d maybe recognise it, his shampoo filling his senses for a that second when Ben hugged him. But it smelt different this time, clearer.

Callum wriggled a bit underneath Ben, licking his sensitive spot and sucking gently, being extra careful not to leave marks, incase Tyler knew. Ben steadied him with his hands on his waist. Not gripping, holding lightly, like he was scared of damaging him. Callum closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of Ben touching him. His hands, his mouth, his voice, his hair, the smell, the whole of his body melting into Callum’s like it belonged there.

Everything waking up each of his senses, like he was finally waking up and seeing things more clearly.

Callum didn’t know why he didn’t realise before. Why he hadn’t noticed Ben was in love with him. Why he hadn’t really ‘seen’ Ben. Maybe he did know, but he was choosing not to acknowledge it. But right now, he new it felt amazing Ben kissing him, like Ben was the one who was waking him up slowly, stirring all these feelings inside of him, that he’d buried deep inside of himself, that no one else could get to.

Ben grinned at Callum moaning to himself under him, kissing and licking along his shoulder but making sure to return to that spot, that made Callum whine even more.

Even Tyler didn’t know about this, how sensitive he was here and he’d never been with Ben before. He was taking his time, exploring him slowly, still working on his neck and shoulder.

“Ben...” 

Ben lifted up instantly, scanning Callum’s face. 

“You want me to stop?” Ben smiled, looking a Callum, still looking a little scared, half crossed with a small smile and blissed our expression on his face.

Callum hesitated, his gaze flicking over Ben’s face. He’d hadn’t actually thought about taking it further and sleeping with him. But still, the only thing in his head was his eyes, his hair, his smile, his lips, his hands stroking down his side.

Callum shook his head slowly, leaning up and pressing their mouths together. He kept his mouth on Ben’s for a few seconds longer, resting his forehead against Ben’s, aware of single point of contact between them.

“I want you to make love to me...” Callum whispered against Ben’s lips.

Ben moved his head the slightest amount to connect their mouths again, licking across Callum’s mouth and lacing his hand through Callum’s hair to hold him steady. Ben placed his head down on the pillow gently, Callum nodding, letting him know it was okay.

“I want this... I want...” Callum trailed off, looking at Ben.

“What about Tyler? I don’t want you to regret this after...” Ben whispered. He loved Callum, but he’d never want to split them up if they made each other happy. He’d probably regret it as soon after.

“I won’t. I’ll think of something.” Callum shrugged, smiling at Ben.

“We’ll think of something.” Ben corrected.

“I want...” Callum tried again, pressing a kiss to Ben’s lips.

It truly confused Callum, how he never noticed all of this about Ben, never knowing he had this want inside of him all of the time, only waking up when Ben ignited it. And now he’d found it, he never wanted to stop.

Callum tilted his head to the side, giving Ben better access, running his hands up Ben’s shirt against his chest.

Ben smiled to himself, Callum giving himself to Ben.

“I want you.” Callum whispered, feeling better for saying it. 

“You’ve got me.” Ben smiled leaning down and kissing Callum again.


	27. Chapter 27

Callum lay with his head on Ben’s chest, still grinning to himself at what they’d just done together. 

“I’ve never had sex like that before...” Callum whispered.

“You’ve never slept with me before.” Ben smiled. 

“What was it? ‘The Ben Mitchell Experience’” Callum grinned. 

“Definitely.”

They lay in silence for a while, Callum smiling to himself as Ben stroked down his side gently, still trying to calm down, breathing heavily still. 

“Does Tyler make you happy?” Ben asked, breaking the silence. 

Callum pressed his hand against Ben’s chest, lifting himself up to look at him. They were both still a little too warm. He looked at Ben, waiting for him to answer, trying to decide what to say to him. 

“Sometimes.” He decided on. 

“Not all the time?” Ben frowned. 

“You can’t make someone happy all the time. Everyone’s got to be sad at some point in their lives.”

“So he does make you sad? You might be sad sometime in the future but it doesn’t have to be because of who your with? Not just Tyler. Anyone. You could just be sad because of something else. Say Bailey died.”

“Hey! Bailey’s still a puppy!” Callum frowned. 

“I’m just saying, that’s not because of Tyler is it? Your telling me he makes you unhappy.”

“How are you reading so much into this?” 

“Because like it or not, I know you and I know there’s something upsetting you.” 

Ben reached up, brushing a loose piece of hair out of Callum’s eyes keeping his hand on the side of Callum’s face. 

“Talk to me, Callum...” He whispered. “Is it Tyler? Or something else?”

“I can’t...” Callum leaned into Ben’s hand, knowing Ben was going to keep pushing until he told him. 

“So there is something? Your not ill are you?”

“No, there isn’t anything! I’m not ill, I promise you. Just leave it, Please...”

“What are you scared of, Cal...” 

Ben stroked his jaw, trying to get him to open up. 

Callum sighed, dropping back down and resting his head on Ben’s chest. 

“Nothing...”

“I just want to know what’s bothering you? Cos your not the same anymore...”

“I am...”

“What can’t you tell me?”

“I can’t!” Callum squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut him out. 

“See? There is something.”

“I didn’t mean that. I meant I was okay.”

“It didn’t sound like it two seconds ago? There’s a pretty big difference between I can’t tell you and I’m okay?”

“Please just leave it, Ben!” He snapped. 

“Okay! Fine, I’m just looking out for you.” Ben sighed. 

Callum looked up pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“I know... I will tell you just not now...” 

He rested his head back down again, squeezing his eyes shut. He hated lying to Ben. It killed him even, but he had to say he’ll tell him another time to make him stop asking questions. How could he tell him that? That Tyler wasn’t anything like Ben. The opposite. That when he got angry he took it out on him? He’d say anything to Tyler to stop him hurting him. Neither of them could know what Ben and Tyler each knew. 

“Okay.” Ben nodded, letting it go this time. “Just make sure you can tell me before it gets too bad, whatever it is.” He pressed a kiss to Callum’s hair, letting him know he was here. 

“I will.” Callum sighed. “I just want to lie here with you, before I have to go.”

Ben smiled at Callum, wrapping his arm around Ben’s waist, nestling into him, closing his eyes. 

Ben laced his hand through Callum’s hair, stroking him lightly, both of them falling asleep together. 

~*~

“So beautiful...” Ben whispered, looking at Callum sleeping, he stroked the side of Callum’s face, looking so relaxed, like he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. He just wanted to know what was bothering Callum, whether he was ill or if it was Tyler. Surely if he was ill, he’d have told Tyler, he was his boyfriend after all.

“You think I’m beautiful?” Callum whispered.

“Yeah, I do.” Ben smiled, not realising his was awake. “Thought you were asleep.”

“Was. Could feel you stroking me.”

“Sorry. You are beautiful though.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind. No one’s ever said that to me before...” Callum smiled. 

“Not even...” Tyler left unsaid.

Callum shook his head, looking up at Ben smiling at him. 

“He doesn’t treat you right.” Ben told him, telling him what he really thought. 

“Why cos he’s doesn’t tell me I’m beautiful?” Callum grinned.

“Yeah and I reckon it’s him that’s upset you and don’t think I didn’t notice the bruises on your waist.”

“He’s a little rough in bed sometimes.” Callum shrugged. 

Ben frowned, running his fingers along his waist, down his side. 

“He should take care of you. Your special, Cal...”

Callum grinned to himself, kissing Ben’s chest. 

“I’m not special...” Callum closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. He knew he wasn’t special. Just another normal person. Tyler always told him that people were just different, not special. It made sense in a way. How can someone be that special, you can’t feel being special so how can you be it?

“You are...” Ben whispered. 

“What time is it anyway?” Callum asked instead. 

“Nearly eleven.”

“Eleven?! I’ve been here for nearly five hours, Ben! Your family are gonna know I’m here!”

“The noises you were making, they probably wondered what I was doing in here.” Ben chuckled. “I mean, I haven’t brought anyone home for ages, so they probably think it me!!”

“Because of me?”

“I don’t want anyone else, Cal...”

Callum looked at Ben for a second longer, sighing to himself. 

“I can’t do this again, Ben...” He couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t sneak around knowing Tyler would find out sooner or later. And he’d pay for it. 

Callum sat up, checking his phone too, he’d got about ten missed calls from Tyler. 

“Cal...” Ben started. He knew it was complicated, but he wanted Callum to understand just how much he loved him. It wasn’t just sex, Callum meant the world to him, for so long. 

“Argh! I’ve been out too long.” Callum untangled his legs from Ben’s, pulling the shirt Ben gave him over his head. 

“Where you going? He keeping you on a time schedule or something?” Ben frowned. 

“I need to go home, Ben. I said he didn’t even know I’d gone. He really thinks you fancy me, if I keep coming he’s gonna know somethings up.”

Callum sighed, seeing Ben close his eyes at calling it home. 

“I’m sorry.” Callum pressed a hard kiss to Ben’s lips, getting out the bed. 

“Bai! Come on.” He was still asleep in the corner of the room. 

Ben watched Callum getting changed quickly, dragging himself out of bed too. 

“How am I gonna get out the house with your family downstairs?” Callum asked. 

“They’ll probably be at work by now? You could always climb out the window?” Ben chuckled. 

“I am not climbing out of a window, Ben!” 

They grinned at each other, Ben wrapping his arms around Callum’s waist, kissing his neck. 

“Can’t you stay?” Ben whined. 

“I can’t! Tyler will wonder where I am! 

“Fine.” He huffed. “Wait there, I’ll go check.”

Callum nodded, waiting for Ben to drag his own clothes on. 

Ben disappeared, Callum waiting for him. 

He spotted one of Ben’s shirts on the edge of the bed, he’d thrown there when he was looking for something to wear. 

Callum picked it up, bringing it up to his nose, smiling to himself. He shoved it deep in his coat pocket, to take with him. 

“It’s safe!” Ben called. 

Callum followed Ben’s voice downstairs, Bailey following. 

“What am I gonna tell Tyler?” Callum whispered. 

“You went to go see a client?”

“Who wants to see me at six in the morning?”

“Erm, you went to see Jay! Leave it with me, he’ll tell Tyler whatever he wants to hear if I get him too.”

“What am I gonna see Jay for?!”

“Erm...” Ben frowned to himself, trying to think of something. “Ask if you can have the day off?”

“At six in the morning?”

“So? It’s urgent?! Say you wanted to do something for the day together for the day, surprise him.”

“Didn’t think you wanted me to spend time with Tyler?” Callum smiled. 

“Stops him from finding out about what we’ve just been up to.” Ben shrugged. 

Callum nodded, Ben following Callum into the kitchen. 

“Come and see me soon?” Ben smiled. 

“Course I will.” 

Callum turned to leave, Ben spinning him back around, pressing their mouths together, Callum moaning into his mouth. 

“Look after yourself, Cal...” Ben whispered. 

Callum nodded, resting his head against Ben’s, neither wanting him to leave. 

“I need to go...” Callum whispered. 

“Go...” Ben pulled away, smiling at Callum. 

Callum nodded, mesmerising Ben’s face one last time. 

“I don’t regret what we did, but we can’t keep doing it...” Callum whispered. 

“I know...” Ben sighed. “But I’d still wait for you, Callum, I will.”

“You can’t...” Callum held his hand over the side of Ben’s face. “I can’t risk Tyler finding out...”

“So what?! He’ll probably come round here, shouting at me! But I don’t care! I love you, Callum!” Ben wrapped his hand around Callum’s in his face. 

“I need to go...” Callum whispered. 

“Callum please...”

“I’ll text you later, we’ll work something out then, okay? Just not now, I really need to get back, I can’t stay out for too long...”

“Stay out too long?” Ben frowned. 

“I just meant, he’ll be wondering where I am.”

Ben nodded, pressing a light kiss to Callum’s lips, before taking his hand from Callum’s. 

He watched Callum leave, smiling to himself, spinning around and closing the door. He’d fight for Callum, if that’s what it took. 

Callum groaned to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Argh! I’ve done it again!” He cried. He didn’t plan on sleeping with Ben, he knew it wasn’t a mistake and he wanted it, but he couldn’t keep seeing Ben, knowing Tyler could find out at any time. 

Ben couldn’t find out about Tyler hurting him. Tyler would probably kill him if he knew. And Tyler certainly couldn’t find out about Callum sleeping with Ben. 

Callum closed his eyes, praying that he could keep lying to the both of them. And it was slowly killing him.


	28. Chapter 28

Callum sighed, at Tyler on him, as soon as he got in the door.

“Where have you been?! I was worried about you! Anyone could have hurt you! Are you okay?!” 

“M’fine. I’m sorry.” Callum whispered. 

“Don’t be. Just come ‘ere.”

Callum looked up expecting him to be angry but he looked softer, none of the anger clouding his eyes. 

Callum shuffled closer to him slowly, Tyler wrapping his arms around him. 

Callum tensed up, but relaxed slightly, when Tyler rubbed his back. 

“I’m sorry too.” Tyler whispered. 

Callum said nothing, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Tyler pulled apart, holding the sides of his face, Callum trying to slow his breathing down. He had to lie, it was the only way. 

“You believe me don’t you?” Tyler frowned. 

“Course I do... I’m sorry. I know you get angry sometimes. But I’m okay. I promise.”

“I shouldn’t have shouted at you. Suggesting that you like Ben like that. I was just paranoid. I know you’d never lie to me about something like that.”

He wrapped his arms around Callum, resting his head on Callum’s shoulder. 

“No, course not...”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around him. 

“I woke up and you weren’t there...”

Callum didn’t say anything, Tyler still holding onto him. 

“I thought you’d left me...”

“Course not...” Callum pressed a kiss to his hair, Tyler pulling away, smiling at him. 

“I am sorry, for shouting at you... Course you can talk to Ben or call or text or whatever you want. I would never stop you. I just thought he liked you...”

Callum pulled Tyler back to him, so he wouldn’t have to see his tears slipping down his face. 

“He doesn’t.” Callum whispered, wiping them away quickly. 

Tyler pulled away, pressing a kiss to Callum’s lips. 

“Where were you? I was worried.”

“I took Bailey for a walk, cos I couldn’t sleep-“

“Was that because of me?” Tyler held the side of Callum’s face, Callum trying not to think about Ben doing the same. 

“No, course not, you’ve already apologised for that.”

“You’ve been gone for ages, surely you can’t have been walking for that long?”

“Yeah, I just walked to the park with Bai, and stayed there. Needed to clear my head.”

It was easier not mentioning Jay, the less people involved the better.

“Clear your head cos of me...” Tyler sighed, sinking down into the sofa. 

“I didn’t mean that!” Callum sat down quickly, holding his hand. “I just went for a walk. That’s all.”

Tyler nodded, looking at Callum. 

“Let me take you out to lunch? To say sorry.” He smiled. 

“You don’t need to do that.” 

“I want to. Come on.” Tyler grabbed Callum’s hand, dragging him up. 

“Just let me get changed first.”

Tyler sat back down, smiling at Callum. 

“Go on then!” He grinned. 

Callum forced a smile, sighing as soon as he got out of sight.

He groaned to himself shutting the bedroom door, pressing his back against it. 

Every time, Callum did something stupid, the first time he kissed Ben, this second time, Tyler would always seem so sorry. He didn’t even shout at him for being out so long. He just let it be, making Callum feel a hundred times worse. He go and do something worse, knowing it would hurt Tyler if he knew the truth. He didn’t want to hurt either Ben or Tyler. 

Callum slid down the door, pulling out Ben’s shirt he’d taken, burying his nose in it. It made him feel even more guilty, knowing what he’d done. 

Callum lifted his head back up, not even realising he’d been crying again, his tears soaking into Ben’s shirt. 

Callum curled himself into a ball, clutching the shirt, sobbing quietly to himself into Ben’s shirt. 

“Callum?”

Callum stood up, shoving the shirt to the back of his draw, dragging the other off he was wearing, doing the same. He’d forgot he was wearing it, surprised Tyler didn’t seem to notice it wasn’t one of his own. 

“I’m coming!” Callum called, drying his eyes. He looked at the shirt one last time, before slamming the draw and changing into another one. 

He stepped outside, plastering a smile on his face. 

“Thought I heard you crying?” Tyler frowned.

“Course not! We going for lunch or what?!”

Tyler grinned at Callum, grabbing his hand and taking him with him downstairs. 

He turned around, holding onto both of Callum’s hands, walking slowly backwards. 

“What?” Callum frowned. 

“I love you, you know that?” 

Callum stopped walking, Tyler frowning at him. 

“Have I freaked you out?”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, Ben saying exactly the same thing. 

“No, course not.”

Callum smiled at Tyler, as he wrapped his arms around Callum, pulling away and kissing Callum quickly. 

“I do. I know I might not show it or should have told you sooner but you know now.”

“Yeah...”

“You mean so much to me Callum. More than you’ll know. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.” He hesitated, looking at Tyler. 

“I get it if you can’t say it back yet after what I did, last night and before-“

Callum looked at Tyler, looking guilty, squeezing his hands.

“I love you too...” Callum smiled, closing his eyes as soon as he said it.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s more triggers warnings in this one... But do not read this fic at all if it will upset you in any way. I don’t want to upset anyone!
> 
> This one is a little more dark?

Callum was out with Tyler at lunch and he finally worked it out. Tyler hurt Callum more when he drank way too much alcohol.

Callum had planned to stay at home, already feeling guilty for cheating on him, by sleeping with Ben. But Tyler had a way of persuading him to come out. He didn’t know how Tyler did it, but he always managed to get Callum to do what he wanted. 

So Callum did as he was told. Again. He wasn’t even hungry, he felt too sick to eat anything, the guilt too much for him. Tyler’s way of saying sorry, apparently. 

Callum did notice he’d go out less and less over the months he’d been with Tyler. He’d usually go with Ben and Jay every few nights. But with Tyler he barely went out not wanting to upset him, until Callum practically had no social life. He’d sometimes go and see Ben, this was before he’d slept with him, only this morning. 

Was it bad he missed Ben already? How happy he looked when Callum just lay with him in bed afterwards. Tyler would want to do it all over again, if they just lay and did nothing. ‘We may as well make use of the time.’ Tyler always smiled. With Ben they just lay there together in silence, wrapped around each other, Ben stroking him, kissing his hair, falling asleep together. He’d been with Ben once and had already noticed so many differences between them both. 

It made him feel even more guilty knowing he was lying to both of them, then Tyler goes and tells him he loves him, the guilt piling up even more. 

Tyler had taken Callum shopping before lunch too, making him feel awkward.

“Do you need that?” “Is that necessary?” “How much?!”

If it was just Callum on his own, he could guarantee he’d spend hundreds and buy loads of stuff. But he felt himself questioning everything, he looked at. 

Callum was still happy that Tyler was spending time with him he supposed, not just staying in the house all day. He knew he’d lied to Tyler, but he still cared about him, he’d didn’t want to hurt him. It was easier to lie, no one would get hurt then. 

It drove Callum crazy sometimes, asking Tyler if he wanted to go out. 

“Nah, I like it here, especially with you.” Tyler always pat the sofa next to him, and Callum would always do as he said sitting back down next to Tyler. 

Tyler had taken Callum to a restaurant after they’d finished shopping. 

Tyler looked happy, smiling at each other, drinking. The more he drank the happier he was, laughing. Callum hadn’t heard him properly laugh like that in such a long time. 

He disappeared to the toilet, returning with a big grin on his face. 

“Callum! Have I ever told you what luuurvveely eyes you ‘av?” Tyler grinned at Callum, swaying slightly. 

“They’re so greeen!!”

“I think you may have drunk too much. They’re blue?” Callum stood up to take them both home, watching as Tyler’s face changed suddenly looking like thunder. He pointed at Callum shakily, unable to keep his hand still, he was that drunk. 

“Don’t... you tell me... what’s best for me...” Tyler slurred before grinning at him again. “This vodka makes me happeee.”

“Vodka?! We haven’t had any vodka?”

“Yup.” Tyler’s face slackened when he realised he’d told Callum. “Wait, nooo, avn’t nicked it from behind the bar, just drinking wiinne. A lot.” He giggled. 

Tyler stumbled toward the door, as Callum frantically chucked money on the table. Tyler would have left without paying if it wasn’t for Callum, probably end up getting arrested he was that drunk. 

Tyler fell into a waiter, knocking over a glass of wine down his shirt. 

“Argh! You bastard!” Tyler seethed, bunching his fists in the waiter’s uniform. 

“Tyler! Let him go!” Callum prised his hands off the waiter as Tyler wrapped his arm around Callum’s neck holding himself up. 

“I’m so sorry, he’s not usually like this.” Calum apologised. 

The waiter hurried away anyway, as Callum carried Tyler out the door. 

“Tyler! It wasn’t the waiters fault your drunk!” 

Tyler let go of Callum, shoving him down into an alleyway, slamming him against the wall. 

“Don’t you dare, tell me off, like some... child.” Tyler spat. 

“I’m sorry! You just scared the life out of that waiter!”

Tyler had his arm across Callum’s chest pushing him harder against the brick wall. 

“I can do what what I like!”

“He thought you were gonna hit him!” Callum cried. 

“Do you want me to hit you instead?! I can scare the hell out of you instead?”

“No! I’m sorry, okay?!”

“Are you?” Tyler sneered. 

“Yes! I won’t tell you what to do again!”

“Good.” 

“Just let me go and we can go home.”

“What, so you can tell me what to do?”

He pulled Callum forward to him, they’re faces close together. 

“So you can tell me what I can and can’t do?!” Tyler hissed. 

“No! I won’t. I need you to let me go, your hurting me...” 

“Good.” He slammed Callum back against the wall, gripping onto his arms instead, digging his fingers in. 

“Tyler! Come on, this isn’t you?!”

“Maybe you want me to hurt you?” Tyler frowned, looking at Callum like he was deciding. 

Callum frowned at Tyler, searching his eyes, clouded with that same anger as before. It wasn’t even about Ben this time and he was still hurting him. 

“What? Why would I want to be hurt?”

“Cos your always pushing me, winding me up. Your asking for it.”

“I don’t want you to think that? I’m sorry if you feel like that!”

“You make me like this?!” Tyler shouted. 

“Like what?”

Tyler grabbed either side of Callum’s face, in his hands. Callum immediately tensed up knowing there was brick inches from his head. 

“I’m not a bad person!” Tyler cried, shaking Callum’s head slightly. 

“I know! I never said you were!”

“It’s implied! You always look at me like you are now, when I mention drinking or Ben!” He spat. “Your scared of me!”

Callum forced himself to look Tyler in the eye, his whole body shaking. 

“I’m not scared of you, Ty! I know you only get like this when your stressed. I’m sorry if I’ve stressed you out more, I don’t want you to feel like that!”

Tyler always managed to make Callum feel like it was his fault, like Calum was the one hurting Tyler, but Callum thought he only agreed with Tyler so he wouldn’t hurt him even more. 

“I’m not a terrible person who doesn’t care!” Tyler dropped hisb hands, gripping Callum’s, shoving them against the wall, leaning into him, pushing Callum back against it. 

“I care about you, Callum...” Tyler whispered.

“I know you do. I love you, Ty?!” He was trying not to sound so desperate. 

“Do you?! You certainly don’t act like it?”

“I do! Please, just let me go and we can go home. Your really hurting me...”

Tyler squeezed Callum’s wrists a little tighter, eliciting a moan from Callum, pushing them against the wall, before shoving them away from himself, grazing all across the back of Callum’s knuckles. 

“YOU make me like this.” Tyler hissed. 

“I’m sorry...” Callum whispered. He slid down the wall onto the floor rubbing his wrists, the tops of his arms aching too. 

“You keep saying.” Tyler turned around frowning at him. “What you doing down there?”

“I can’t...” Callum whispered. 

“Can’t what?”

Callum whined to himself when Tyler stood over him, frowning at Callum. 

“I can’t... do this...” He squeezed his shut, trying to make it stop. 

“What?!”

“With you...”

“Are you trying to leave me?”

Callum bowed his head, not looking at Tyler, staring at the floor. 

“Callum?! Why would you say that?” Tyler spoke so softly, Callum looked up at him confused. He thought Tyler would hurt him again. 

Tyler dropped to the floor next to Callum, wrapping an arm around him. 

“I’m not always like this, it’s the alcohol... It’s not who I am, I would never hurt you cos I want to, it just... happens.”

Callum said nothing, still staring at the floor. 

“Let me look.”

Callum looked at him, holding his other hand out for Callum to give him his own.

“Let me look at your wrists.” Tyler repeated. 

“I’m fine.” Callum whispered. “You didn’t hold on that hard...”

“Sure?”

“I’m fine.” His arms ached badly, he probably already had bruises forming on his waist and his wrists were so sore.

“Look, why don’t we just go home?” Tyler sighed. 

Callum nodded but didn’t move to get up. 

Tyler stood up offering Callum his hands but Callum still ignored him. 

“Come on, Callum! You can’t hate me forever.”

Callum ignored his hands, pushing himself up, trying not to groan at the pain in his waist and down his sides. 

“I don’t hate you...” Callum whispered. 

“Good. I’ll get you home, then you can do whatever you want, yeah?”

Callum nodded again, walking slowly, to the entrance of the alleyway, immediately tensing, when Tyler held his hand on Callum’s shoulder from behind him. 

“Wait.” 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut as Tyler turned him around, placing his hands on either side of Callum’s face, pulling his mouth down to meet Tyler’s pressing a hard kiss to his lips. Callum did nothing, just let him. 

“You sure your okay? I don’t want you to be hurting.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Callum forced himself to give Tyler a small smile, as he hooked his hand around Callum’s, taking him home. 

Callum only thought Tyler held his hand so he could keep Callum next to him. 

And the bad thing about it, was Callum didn’t care that Tyler didn’t say sorry this time. He needed to be punished for cheating on him somehow. So this was it. Karma. Tyler hurt him because he was a bad person. It was just the worlds way of telling him?


	30. Chapter 30

Callum wasn’t the same after Tyler hurt him at the restaurant. 

He was always wary of where Tyler was going. He found himself always glancing at him, if Tyler got up off the sofa, watching him as he crossed the room. 

Thinking and hesitating before he spoke, in case he said the wrong thing and Tyler hurt him again. 

He’d been scared to even text Ben, incase Tyler knew about it. Ben had text him a couple times, asking if he was okay cos he’d been ignoring him, but he just deleted them. 

Callum didn’t even speak and Tyler was angry. 

“Are you still annoyed at me for the other week?” Tyler huffed. 

Callum stood across the other side of the room, watching Tyler as he drank more alcohol, whiskey this time. 

“No...”

“Well, why aren’t you speaking to me then?”

“I am.”

“I brought you home didn’t I?”

“I know you did. I said I was fine. And I am now.”

“You hardly speak to me anymore! It’s been weeks!”

“Yes I do!”

Callum ducked when Tyler threw the glass at him, shattering, amber liquid staining the wall. 

“Tyler! Your scaring Bailey!” He’d run off when the glass shattered against the wall. 

“Bailey!” He sneered. “It’s just a dog, I didn’t want here in the first place!” 

“You said I could keep him!”

“Only to make you happy. Because everything I do is to keep YOU happy!!”

Callum sighed, walking over to sit next to him, holding both of his hands. 

“I know... I AM happy. I haven’t been ignoring you!”

“You’ve been either not speaking to me or giving me one word answers ever since we went out.”

“Have I?”

“Yes! You don’t care anymore...”

“I do! I do, Ty...” Callum whispered. He’d been too busy trying to stop thinking about sleeping with Ben. He still felt guilty. “Look, you get to bed and I’ll clean this up, I’ll come up after.”

“Do you love me?” Tyler asked, looking at lap. 

“Course I do! Why would you even ask that?”

“Cos sometimes I don’t think you do...” 

“I do love you, Tyler. And I am happy. YOU make me happy.” Callum said exactly what Tyler wanted to hear. He didn’t even know if he loved Tyler yet, but he didn’t want to upset him. He hoped he would love him over time. 

Tyler looked up, smiling at Callum. “Yeah?”

“Yes!” Callum held Tyler’s face in his hands, pressing a small kiss to his lips. “I love you, Ty...” He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Yeah, well, you can show me how much when you come up to bed.” Tyler grinned at Callum, leaving him on the sofa. 

Callum sighed, closing his eyes. He got so fed up with sex sometimes, he just wanted to sleep. 

Callum took as long as possible cleaning up, hoping Tyler would be asleep when he came upstairs. 

Callum sat on the floor in the living room, Bailey trying to sit on him. “Your getting too big for this!” Callum let him anyway, yapping at him. 

“Shh, you’ll wake him up.” Callum smiled, pulling him closer to him. “Don’t feel so lonely with you around... you’ll always be here.”

Bailey curled up on Callum’s lap, going to sleep, so Callum stayed on the floor for a while longer. 

He took the photo of him, Ben and Lexi, out of his pocket, unfolding it. 

Callum sighed to himself running his finger over the photo. 

“Why’d you have to go and complicate things, eh?” He smiled. “Tell me you loved me?” 

Callum buried his hand in Baileys fur, stroking him. 

“Why’d you have to go and be kind and gentle and amazing.” Callum sighed. Ben was everything he wanted Tyler to be. He did care about Tyler, he know he did, he just know if he loved him yet. 

He couldn’t let Tyler know what he’d done with Ben either. He didn’t know what Tyler would do to him and Ben. He couldn’t let him hurt Ben. If he ever did try and leave him, he’d presume it was Ben and hurt him anyway, Tyler was always paranoid Ben was going to ‘take him away’. Callum would never forgive himself if Tyler hurt Ben. 

Tyler was nice if he kept him sweet. Keep him sweet, and protect Ben. Seemed simple enough. 

Callum folded the photo back up, tucking it back in his jacket pocket where it always stayed. 

Callum sighed to himself carrying Bailey into the kitchen, placing him in his bed, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Callum slid into bed, letting out a sigh of relief when he noticed Tyler was asleep. 

Well, he thought Tyler was until he shuffled closer to Callum, pressing his front against Callum’s kissing him softly.

“You were a while.” Tyler whispered burying his head into Callum’s neck, kissing him there too. 

“Bailey fell asleep on me.”

Tyler huffed shuffling back across the bed away from Callum. 

“What?”

“You pay more attention to that dog than me.”

“Do I? I can’t remember the last time I even played with him?!”

“Just feels like you ignore me all the time...”

“Arr, Ty! Don’t be like that! I’m sorry you feel like that, I don’t mean to ignore you. I thought you’d be asleep so I let Bai stay with me.”

“I was waiting for you...”

“I’d have come up sooner if I knew you were waiting. Come ‘ere.” 

Tyler smiled at Callum as he opened his arms for Tyler to nestle into, burying his head in Callum’s neck again. “I’m right here...” Callum whispered, closing his eyes. 

~*~

Callum was half asleep when he felt Tyler kissing along his neck making Callum whine. 

“Tyler...” Callum breathed out. “M’tired...” Still not opening his eyes. 

“Arr, come on...” Tyler whined becoming more insistent. 

Callum pawed at Tyler slightly, trying to get him to go to sleep but it was useless, Tyler pressing on with his mission. 

“You love me don’t you?” 

“Not as much as I love sleep.” Callum grinned to himself as Tyler shuffled back up pressing multiple hard kisses onto Callum’s mouth still not getting the response he wanted. 

“Pleeeaassee. How much do you love me?” Callum finally opened his eyes, smiling at Callum, pouting slightly. 

“Loads...”

“How much?” Tyler grinned. 

“Maybe a liiitle more than sleep, then.” Callum smiled. 

“Yeah?”

Tyler kissed Callum again, as he finally gave in, kissing him back, Tyler holding Callum’s mouth onto his own keeping him there.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More triggers in this one! Read the warnings at the top first! I don’t want to go upsetting people!
> 
> I just want to thank everyone was has left me such lovely comments on this fic. I wasn’t sure to post it, when I first wrote it, I know it can be a sensitive subject, but I’m so glad that’s it’s had such a good response! I’m trying to write it as realistically as possible, not taking things out of proportion. Mainly Callum’s thoughts and feelings but Ben’s too. I know I confused a few people with the whole spiking malarkey, but it’s pretty obvious now. I’m trying to add things in subtly, not so obvious, like Callum not seeing it either, if that make sense? 
> 
> Anyway, there’s major warnings for this next chapter, just a heads up.

Callum opened his eyes sleepily, the following morning, smiling at Tyler, watching him again. Everywhere ached. 

“Scares me you know.” 

“What does?” A confused look on Tyler’s face. 

“You watching me sleep.”

“Just admiring the view.” Tyler grinned at Callum, as he wrapped his arm around Callum, keeping him close. “Do wanna go out for lunch?”

“Slow down, haven’t even had breakfast yet?!”

“You do realise it’s nearly midday?”

“Is it?!”

“Did I tire you out last night?” Tyler grinned. 

“Just a bit. I’ll go get ready and feed Bailey, then we can go when your ready.”

“That’d be great.” Callum pressed a light kiss to Tyler’s lips before heading downstairs to feed Bailey, frowning when Callum saw him sleeping in the living room near the Tv. He was sure he’d shut him in the kitchen. 

Callum walked over to him stroking him, snatching his hand back, when he didn’t move, sinking to his knees next to him. 

“No...” 

~*~

Tyler came down slowly, rushing over to Callum as he sobbed over Bailey. 

“What’s wron-...” Trailing off when he saw Bailey. “Oh, Callum, I’m so sorry, I know you loved that dog...”

His name was Bailey, not ‘that dog’.

Tyler kneeled on the floor, holding onto Callum tightly as he cried into his shirt. 

“He was fine last night!” Callum whined. 

Tyler looked up, looking at something behind Callum, sighing before resting his head on top of Callum’s. 

“What?” Callum lifted his head up, searching Tyler’s face, noticing the hesitation. 

“What, Ty?!”

“Erm... did you bleach the floor and wall last night?”

“Yeah, when I cleaned up, but he can’t have licked it, it wouldn’t be strong enough and I shut him in the kitchen, like I always do at night, he was fast asleep when I placed him in his bed.”

“Could you have left the kitchen door open?”

“No! I shut it, I’m sure!” Starting to doubt himself, trying to remember if he left it open. 

Tyler tried to pull Callum’s head back to his chest but Callum pulled away again noticing the fallen bottle of bleach on the carpet. 

“Oh god... it’s my fault isn’t it? I left the door open and he’s drank it hasn’t he?” 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut burying his head back into Tyler’s chest choking out more sobs. 

“Darlin’ you mustn’t blame yourself.”

“It was my fault though, wasn’t it?” Callum whined. Tyler pulled Callum closer, wrapping his arms around Callum, kissing his hair and stroking it. 

“I’m sure it was an accident...”

“I killed Bailey!” Callum whined into Tyler. “I killed him!” Callum leaned into Tyler further, sobbing as he held onto Callum. 

Tyler sat with Callum on the floor for nearly an hour, stroking his hair, comforting him until Callum’s sobs began to subside. 

“I don’t wanna go out, don’t feel hungry anymore.”

“S’alright, lets get you back to bed, I’ll sort this later.”

Callum nodded, still wrapping his arms around Tyler as he guided them both upstairs, sliding back into the bed next to Callum. 

When Tyler had settled, Callum immediately cuddled into him, seeking comfort like a child. 

Tyler stroked down Callum’s back, tracing shapes, kissing his neck. 

“Do you mind if we don’t?” Callum said flatly, still thinking how he’d killed Bailey. 

“I want to make you feel better.”

“I’ll feel better like this. I just want you to hold me. Your making me feel better just being here.”

Tyler pulled away looking into Callum’s eyes, before pulling Callum’s chin up to meet his mouth anyway. 

“Tyler. I don’t want to...”

“It’ll help.”

Tyler slid on top of Callum, kissing him over and over not getting the response he wanted. Tyler kissed Callum harder, waiting for him to respond but Callum still didn’t. 

Callum closed his eyes not making any sounds as Tyler pushed his legs apart, sliding in between them, trying to provoke a reaction. Callum felt no excitement, no pleasure as he lay there, letting Tyler do whatever he wanted. 

~*~

Callum lay still in Tyler’s arms afterwards, squeezing his eyes shut. His waist ached from Tyler gripping on so hard, bruises probably forming already. 

“I love you.” Tyler knew he needed to hear it, kissing the top of Callum’s head, holding it against his chest, as he tangled his fingers in Callum’s hair, stroking lightly. He very rarely said it. 

“I love you too...” Callum whispered.


	32. Chapter 32

Tyler came back from the bathroom, frowning at Callum getting changed. 

“Where you goin’?”

“Walk.” Callum replied flatly, dragging a shirt on and his jacket. It was the only one he wore nowadays. If he could keep Ben close, he felt like he was protecting him somehow. 

“Thought you were staying in bed today, cos your still upset about the dog?”

“Bailey!” Callum snapped. 

“That then! Blimey, Callum, I know your sad but it’s just a dog. Don’t go taking it out on me!” 

“It wasn’t just a dog! I needed him!” Callum cried. He didn’t even care if Tyler got angry because he was shouting. 

“Needed?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Callum sighed. “I’m just going for a walk, clear my head, I’ll be back later.”

“Callum-“

“I need to go, Tyler!! Just let me go for a bloody walk!”

Callum ignored him calling him, slamming the front door. 

He needed Bailey as a friend. The only one he had at home. He needed Bailey to talk to, to cry to, to listen to him. He needed Bailey to not make him so lonely. And now he was gone because he was too stupid enough to clear his mess away, leaving the bleach down and killing him. 

Callum groaned, punching the wall outside, when he got out of reach of Tyler. He didn’t cry anymore, Tyler would only smother him. The only time he did listen to him, when Callum was so sad. The only time he liked looking after Callum. 

Callum walked for a while, not sure where he was walking but he looked up, frowning at Ben’s back door. His legs just seemed to carry him there. 

Ben looked up, hearing the doorbell. “It’s open!” He called. 

He saw Callum, a smile spreading across his face. “Callum! I haven’t heard from you in like ages! I thought you just walked in? Callum?” 

Callum threw himself down next to Ben on the sofa, wrapping his arms around Ben. “Callum, what’s wrong?!” 

Callum buried his head in Ben’s neck, crying into him, finally letting his tears fall. He stopped himself from crying all night and morning. 

Ben tensed, determined to find out who or what had got Callum into this state. 

“He’s dead!” Callum whined. 

“Who?!” 

“Bailey!!” He moaned. 

Ben immediately softened, holding onto Callum tighter. “Oh, Cal, I’m so sorry. I know you loved Bailey. I’m sorry...” 

Callum choked out his sobs into Ben’s neck. 

“I killed him...” Callum whispered. Ben frowned, looking up at Callum. 

“I’m sure you didn’t. Just tell me what happened.” Ben wiped Callum’s cheeks with his thumb, still sniffling. 

“Whiskey...” Callum started, squeezing his eyes shut, images of Tyler throwing the glass at him, flooding his mind. 

“What about whiskey, Cal?” Ben spoke so softly. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Callum shook his head, looking up at Ben waiting for him. 

“It matters to me.” Callum searched Ben’s eyes, Ben waiting for him to tell him. 

“What happened?” Ben whispered again. 

“The whiskey glass, smashed, against...” The wall, left unspoken. He couldn’t a smash it up the wall, it had to be thrown. 

“How does that make you kill Bailey?” 

Callum’s head screaming at him, to tell Ben the truth, he was so close to, but changed his mind at the last second. 

“I dropped the glass.” He spat out instead. “Tyler had already gone to bed.” 

Ben tried not to make any reaction to hearing his name, let alone any thought of Callum living with him every day and night. 

He nodded instead, Callum roughly wiping his eyes. It killed him lying to Ben all the time. He’d never trust him again, if he knew he’d lied to him for so long, about what Tyler was really like. Let alone, if he told him. Ben would try and kill Tyler or Tyler try and kill both of them. 

“Tyler had already gone to bed.” He tried again. 

Ben nodded for him to carry on. 

“I smashed a glass and cleaned the floor with bleach. I was sure I put it away...”

“Hey, it’s alright...” Ben whispered, wiping away each of Callum’s tears as they fell, his hand staying on Callum’s face. 

“I was sure I shut Bailey in the kitchen. Like I always do at nighttime. I put the bleach away. And shut Bailey in the kitchen...” Callum choked out another sob, trying to hold them in. 

“I thought I did!” He whined. 

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum, burying his head in Ben’s neck again. 

“Ssh, it’s okay. Your okay, I’ve got you.” Ben rocked them both, whispering that he was okay, that everything would be okay. “I’m here.” 

Ben held onto him tightly, his whole body tensing, racking with sobs. 

“I’m sorry...” Ben whispered again. He knew Callum loved Bailey so much. 

Ben didn’t let him go, rocking them both, until Callum’s sobs eventually subsiding again. 

They stayed in silence for a while, Callum nestled his head into the crook of Ben’s neck, Ben hushing him, stroking down his back. 

Callum sniffed, lifting his head up, Ben reaching up and holding the sides of Callum’s face, stroking his damp cheeks lightly again. 

“Did Bailey, get out of the kitchen somehow?” 

Callum nodded slowly. 

“I must have left the bleach on the side and the kitchen door open. I was tired, so I must have forgot. Bailey knocked the bleach over into the carpet...” Callum choked out, struggling to breathe. 

“Your okay...” Ben soothed.

“Bailey’s not... I killed him, Ben. I killed my dog. I killed Bailey!” He moaned. 

Ben pulled Callum’s head to his chest, crying into him again. Ben laced his hand through the back of Callum’s hair, stroking him lightly. 

“Just stop, Cal, your making yourself feel worse. It was an accident. You can’t have known he’d get out.”

“I should have made sure, Ben. I killed him!”

“Stop saying it or you’ll believe it.” 

“But it’s true!” 

“It was an ACCIDENT.” Callum shook his head, Ben holding him to him, kissing his hair. 

“It was an accident.” Ben whispered again, trying to convince Callum. 

“I thought you’d hate me. Cos I killed him.”

“No! Course not! I’d never hate you, Cal. Ever. So don’t think that. It’s not like you did it on purpose. It was an accident!”

Callum nodded slowly, searching Ben’s face. 

“An accident...” Ben nodded. Callum sniffed, calming down, looking back at Ben. They’d both gone quiet, just looking at each other, like before. 

Callum wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t. It was bad enough sleeping with him once, let alone kissing him again. 

He placed his hands over Ben’s, curling them around Ben’s hands on his face. 

Ben felt his breathing hitch, at Callum’s hand over his, searching his eyes. 

Ben tried not to show his disappointment when Callum came to his senses a few seconds later, pulling Ben’s hands from his face. 

“I need to go. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have been here at all. I was upset but I’m okay now.” Callum let go of Ben’s hands, standing up from the sofa. 

“Why can’t you be here?” Ben frowned. 

“I just meant I need to get back to Tyler.” 

“Come on, Cal. He’s not exactly gonna get angry cos your spending a bit of time with your best mate?” 

“No... But I need to see him.” 

“You just came from him didn’t you?” 

Callum nodded, glancing at the door. Tyler would be fuming if he knew he was here, with Ben. 

“Your not okay are you? Bailey meant a lot to you and I think you need to be a little sad. You don’t have to be okay all the time.” Callum looked at Ben for what felt like a lifetime. 

“Stay.” Ben whispered. 

Go back to Tyler or stay with Ben. He knew which he preferred. But go with his heart or his head?


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve noticed I’ve had quite a few new user subscriptions lately more and more people reading my work, leaving kudos and I’ve been getting so many lovely comments on this fic and all my others, so I just want to thank you all for your amazing support and kind words. It really does mean a lot to me!

“Please.” Ben tried. “For a bit longer. I just want to make sure your okay.”

Callum hesitated, telling himself to leave, but walked slowly over to the sofa, sitting across from Ben. 

“I hardly see you anymore.” Ben whispered.

“I’m sorry. I just get so busy...” 

Ben nodded, looking up at Callum, wondering when it got so awkward between them. 

He didn’t know if it was because Callum felt guilty for sleeping with him, or since he got with Tyler and didn’t see him much anymore. 

“So do I, but we never go out together anymore. I know you probably want to do stuff with Tyler, but I’m still your friend, Cal.” 

“I know...” Callum whispered. 

“I’m not being selfish, but I feel like I’m losing you to Tyler.” 

Neither of them would look each other in the eye, both wringing their hands together, both suddenly nervous. 

“Your just so different now...” 

“No I’m not.” Callum said quickly. 

“Yes you are, Cal. You never see me anymore, coming up with silly excuses. You act differently around Tyler, like your trying to be me someone your not. Your not like that with me, you shouldn’t have to be different for him. He should love you for who you are not who your showing him.”

“He loves me.” Callum whispered. 

“Does he? Really? Why aren’t you with him, now? Why come to me, when your upset?”

“Cos your my friend, Ben...”

“That glimmer in your eyes gone. You don’t smile anymore and it kills me knowing that something is wrong with you and I can’t help.”

Callum closed his eyes, sighing to himself. Ben couldn’t help. How could he? He couldn’t help how Callum was feeling. He couldn’t tell him what he wanted. 

“You know what I miss most?” Ben said, breaking Callum from his thoughts. 

Callum said nothing looking at his lap. 

“You. I miss the old you. Smiling Callum, the one who makes me laugh at your stupid jokes that aren’t even funny but I laugh anyway, because you are smiling, you being happy, you making Lexi giggle. Us going out together and doing things together. I miss you, Cal...”

Callum looked at Ben for a while, his head telling him still to leave, before deciding and throwing his arms around his neck, burying his head in his neck. 

Ben sighed, holding onto him, stroking his hair. 

Callum shuffled across the sofa, lying in between Ben’s legs, resting his head on Ben’s chest, closing his eyes. 

“I’m sorry...” Callum whispered. 

“Don’t be. I just want the old you back.” 

He looked up at Ben, smiling at Callum. They just stared at each other, Callum’s head screaming at him not to kiss Ben again. He didn’t know if he couldn’t stop himself doing anything else if he did. 

“What is this, Cal...” Ben didn’t know what Callum wanted. Whether he loved Tyler? But he seemed to keep coming back to Ben when he was upset. 

“I don’t know, Ben...”

“Do friends lie together like this? Friends don’t sleep together, or kiss each other more than once.”

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum anyway, burying his nose in Callum’s hair. 

“I don’t know, but I like this, Ben...”

Callum nestled his head into Ben, wrapping his arm around his waist. Ben buried his hand in Callum’s hair, holding his head to him, rubbing down his back. 

“I just want you to be happy...”

Callum closed his eyes, concentrating on Ben’s hands trying to soothe him, the smell of Ben keeping him calm. 

They lay in silence for a while, Ben knowing it was what Callum needed. Especially after Bailey. 

“Callum?”

Callum looked up at Ben, Ben’s hand still in his hair. He couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Do you love Tyler?” He asked the same question, he did last time, not sure how Callum felt. 

Callum looked at Ben’s eyes, waiting for him, he couldn’t lie to him even more. 

Callum sighed, dropping back down onto Ben’s chest. 

“He told me he loved me a few weeks ago...”

Ben closed his eyes, presuming Callum felt the same. 

“I said it back, but I don’t know whether I meant it...”

“You don’t?!” Ben lifted Callum’s chin up gently, getting him to look at him. 

“I don’t know... I didn’t want to upset him, so I just said it.” Callum sighed. 

“Do you think you could?”

“Are you asking this cos you want to know if I love you?” Callum didn’t even know what it was himself, let alone explaining it to Ben. He couldn’t answer it. He didn’t know what he’d say if he had to say anything. 

Ben cursed himself, trying not to make it so obvious. Of course Callum didn’t say it back when he finally told Callum he loved him, he didn’t expect him to, he was with Tyler. He thought Callum was happy, but he looked so sad all the time, Ben not so sure anymore. 

“Maybe.” Ben shrugged. “I love you, Callum...” Ben stroked his thumb across his jaw gently. “I have for so long and I’m never gonna love anyone as much as I do you.”

Callum smiled at Ben, lying back down on his chest. 

“I guess I just wanted you to keep knowing that, cos you deserve to be loved, Callum.”

Callum smiled to himself, running his fingers along Ben’s palm, hooking them around Ben’s hand. 

Ben smiled at Callum, curling his fingers around Callum’s hand too, locking their fingers together. 

Callum closed his eyes, letting out a sigh, feeling content at just lying there with Ben, holding his hand, Ben’s arm wrapped around him, keeping him safe. 

“I just feel like we’re going so fast...” Callum whispered. “We moved in together quickly. I was expected to say I love him so fast...”

Ben stroked Callum’s hair, squeezing his hand in his other. 

“Why can’t you tell him you want to slow down a bit?” Ben spike so softly, it made Callum need him even more. 

“I can’t...” Callum sighed. 

“Cos you don’t want to upset him?”

“Something like that...”

“What is it you want, Callum?” Ben whispered, kissing his hair. 

“I don’t know anymore, Ben...”

“Is it because of me? Cos if I’m stressing you out, cos your with Tyler, you know I’ll back off.”

Callum looked up quickly, at Ben. “No! Your definitely not stressing me out. I promise you. I like being with you. I want to be with you right now.”

Callum looked at Ben for a while, making his mind up. He leaned up pressing a chaste kiss to Ben’s lips, not even regretting it this time. It felt nice, someone being kind to him for a change. 

Ben smiled to himself, holding the sides of Callum’s face, kissing him again. 

Callum sighed at the feeling of Ben’s mouth against his own, not needing encouragement from Ben this time, licking into his mouth. 

Ben moaned at the taste of Callum, not realising how much he’d missed him over the past few weeks. 

He shuffled himself up, keeping Callum where he was, kissing him over and over. 

Ben pushed Callum backwards, lying him down on the sofa gently, melting into Callum’s body. 

Callum felt Ben sliding in between his legs, pushing them apart. He felt like he’d stopped breathing, not kissing Ben back anymore, seeing Tyler. 

Ben didn’t seem to notice, kissing along his jaw. 

“I can’t...” Callum whispered. He didn’t want to. Tyler practically dragged him to bed every second of everyday. 

Ben thought he meant because Tyler might find out. They’d find a way, so carried on, burying his head in Callum’s neck. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, as Ben ran his hands under his shirt. 

“No...” Callum winced slightly, his waist still hurting from Tyler gripping on so hard. 

“Stop, Ben, just get off me!!” Callum cried, pushing him off him. 

“What’d I do??” Ben frowned, shuffling off him anyway. He wouldn’t push. 

“I can’t do this, Ben! I don’t want to!!”

Callum jumped off the sofa, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

“Okay? I didn’t say you had to? Come and sit back down, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want. We can just sit here together.” Ben smiled. “Do what we were doing before.”

Callum wasn’t hearing him, too busying seeing Tyler last night, doing things to him, he didn’t want. Sometimes Callum wasn’t too sure when they had sex but last night was different. He wasn’t in the mood, but Tyler carried on anyway, doing what he wanted. 

Callum stretched his arms, swinging the jacket round, putting it on, his shirt riding up his stomach. 

“Callum!” Ben rushed over seeing the bruises over his waist and hips. 

He stopped himself from looking, not wanting to touch Callum, if he didn’t want him to. 

He glanced at Callum, sighing to himself. Ben had already seen them now. 

“It’s fine...”

“You’ve got bruises all over your waist, Cal! They look really bad!”

“I’ve already said he’s rough in bed.”

“Can I...”

Callum nodded, knowing Ben wouldn’t let it go. 

Ben lifted his shirt up a bit, his breathing hitch when he saw the bruises across Callum’s waist. 

“Stop looking like that, Ben...”

“There’s rough, then there’s this, Callum!”

Callum sighed, Ben hands resting on his waist gently, looking like he wanted to cry. 

“I’m. Fine.” Callum pulled his shirt back down, but Ben still held onto his waist under his shirt.

“Come on, Callum!! No wonder you wanted me stop...” Ben muttered to himself, he was probably hurting. 

“No, Ben, I wanted you to stop, because I didn’t want to sleep with you!” 

Ben looked at Callum, searching his face looking terrified at Ben. 

“I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want.” Ben whispered, he held his hand over the side of Callum’s face, stroking lightly. 

Callum calmed down a little, looking back at Ben, trying to slow his breathing down. 

“You know that this looks a little too rough?” Ben frowned. 

“I’m okay, honestly.” Callum smiled at Ben, trying to get him to drop it. 

“You definitely sure?”

“Course. I’ve gotta go though, Tyler will be wondering where I am. I was only gonna go for a walk, but I come here instead.”

“You don’t have to go? I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”

“You haven’t! I promise. I just need to go.”

“Promise me you won’t leave it weeks before you see me again? I miss you.”

Callum nodded, both looking at each, Callum trying to tear himself away from looking at Ben’s eyes. 

Ben leaned forward pressing a kiss to his cheek instead, Callum smiling at him. He seemed to forget about what just happened, so Ben figured he was okay, taking his hand away from Callum’s face. 

“I’ll text soon.” Callum promised. 

Ben nodded, stepping away him, only for Callum to close the gap again wrapping his arms around Ben. 

Callum smiled to himself, burying his head in Ben’s neck. 

“I do care about you, Ben...”

“I know you do.”

Callum pressed a kiss to Ben’s neck, feeling like he needed to leave before he did something else he’d regret. 

He spun around quickly, heading away from Ben, leaving Ben standing there a little confused.


	34. Chapter 34

“Where have you been?!” Tyler cried, as soon as Callum walked in. 

“Not now Tyler...” He sighed. 

“I was worried about you!!”

“You always are! I’m a big boy, Tyler, I’m sure I’m not gonna get killed going for a walk!”

Callum tried to walk past Tyler, but he grabbed his chin turning his hard sharply to look at him. 

“Don’t speak time me like that!” He hissed. 

“Your always on my case! I only want to go for a walk!”

Tyler gripped on harder, Callum shutting himself up. 

“You weren’t going for walk we’re you! You think I wouldn’t find it! Keep it a secret from me!”

Callum frowned at him, not sure what he meant. 

“This!” He pushed Callum’s face away from him, shoving a piece of paper at Callum’s chest. 

Callum immediately went pale, looking at it. He thought it was a piece of paper. It was the photo of him, Ben and Lexi. 

Callum shoved his hand in his pocket anyway, groaning inwardly. He must have dropped it, in a hurry, on his way out. 

“You think I wouldn’t find it! Proper little family aren’t you?”

“No! That was from before I met you!” Callum tried to reason with him, knowing where this was heading if he said the wrong thing. 

“Don’t lie to me, Callum.” He sneered. 

“I’m not I swear. Please, Ty, you’ve got to believe me, I promise you, I hadn’t met you when that was taken!” He’d beg if he had too, knowing what was coming. He knew he’d lied to Tyler to protect Ben, but it was the truth this time. 

“So you wouldn’t care if I ripped it?”

“Don’t do that...” Callum whispered.

Tyler crossed the room, Callum walking backwards away from him. Tyler gripped onto his arms anyway, pushing him against the wall. 

“You’ve been with him all this time haven’t you?” Tyler hissed. 

“No! I swear to you, I didn’t even know who you were when that was taken. I’ve not been to the cinema with them since I’ve been with you.” 

“I meant now!! You didn’t go for a walk did you? You went straight to him, where you have been all the other times you’ve been out alone!”

Callum whined at Tyler, gripping onto his waist instead, still sore from last night. 

“Please, don’t do this, Ty...”

“What was the film, Callum?”

“What? Why’s that matter?!”

“Tell me!!” 

“It was something suitable for Lexi, I can’t remember?!”

“Well think then!” 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut at Tyler shouting at him. 

He was desperately trying to remember.

“It was Frozen 2!! She likes that sort of stuff, so we took her to see it!” Callum blurted out quick enough. 

“When?” 

“Must have been just over a year ago? Cos I’ve known you for about a year?”

Tyler searched his face for a while, trying to see if he was lying to him. 

He let go, Callum sighing, immediately putting distance between them. 

“Just have it.” He chucked the photo onto the sofa, Callum not daring to even look at it. 

Tyler left Callum standing there, Callum folding the onto back up and keeping it in his pocket. 

Callum breathed out, relieved he’d managed to get out of Tyler hurting him too much this time. 

Callum never had to lie and tell Tyler he hadn’t been with Ben either, managing to get himself out of that one. 

Callum sank down onto the sofa, determined not to let Tyler find out about being with Ben. 

He couldn’t go out again, he’d only just come back from Ben’s, it would only make Tyler worse. 

He curled up on the sofa, lying across it, squeezing his eyes shut. 

~*~

He must have fallen asleep, the next thing he knew, he was jolting awake at Tyler touching him. 

“No!” 

Callum shot away from Tyler, on the opposite side of the sofa, breathing heavily. 

“I’m not gonna touch you?”

He just did. And Callum didn’t want him to. 

Tyler frowned at Callum’s eyes frantically flicking over his face. 

“I found the movie when it was at the cinema...”

“What you actually checked up on me?? I said I wasn’t lying!”

“I know... I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t lie.” Callum told him again. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He pulled Callum to him wincing at the pains in his side. “I’m sorry.” He whispered again. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut trying not to sob, keeping his arms down by his sides, not holding Tyler back. 

“I got it wrong, I’m sorry.”

It didn’t mean anything anymore. Telling Callum he was sorry, when he knew Tyler wasn’t. He’d only do it again. 

Tyler pulled away, frowning at Callum. 

“Are you okay? You look ill?”

Callum tensed at Tyler, stroking his hair away from his eyes. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Your so warm?”

“I’m okay, I just need to sleep.”

Callum stood up, Tyler following. He never knew he’d grow scared of him. Every time Tyler moves Callum was convinced he was going to hurt him. 

“On my own...” Callum whispered. It was more of a question, if Tyler would let him this time. 

Tyler nodded, watching Callum head upstairs. 

Callum shut the door, shutting Tyler out. The world out. 

He opened his drawer, pulling out the shirt, bringing it up to his nose. It still smelt like Ben. 

Callum slid down onto the floor, leaning against the bed, bringing his knees to his chest, sobbing to himself. 

He couldn’t bring himself to lie in bed. Their bed. Not after what happened last night. 

‘What is it you want, Callum...’

Callum closed his eyes, Ben’s voice in his head. He knew what he wanted now. It was so clear now. But Callum couldn’t. Tyler would probably hurt Ben, get to him somehow, if Callum left him. He was trapped and had no way of getting out. 

But he knew exactly what he wanted. 

“Youyouyou.” Callum whispered over and over, crying into Ben’s shirt, burying his nose it. 

Callum wanted Ben.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve got some major triggers in this one, so I’m sorry if I upset anyone? I wasn’t sure to post it, but I still want it to be realistic. I found it quite difficult writing this one, it’s taken me all day! I hope it’s not too disturbing...
> 
> If any of this fic could upset you, in any way please don’t read this!

It was his day off, so Callum lay across the sofa, watching some trashy Tv programme, flicking mostly, when Tyler walked in from work that night. 

Callum was always wary whenever he walked into a room now, trying to decide what type of mood Tyler was in. It was always the same nowadays, Calum would say something wrong and Tyler would hurt him. Tyler would be sorry, Callum would forgive him and Tyler would leave it a few weeks, before he tried anything else getting Callum to trust him again. The same cycle. 

Callum thought most people argue in a relationship don’t they? He’d not actually been with that many people. Only a few guys, but they never seemed to last long term, couple months at the most. Who had a normal relationship anyway? So Tyler got angry, but he loved Callum?

Tyler walked straight over to the Tv, switching it off. Callum pushed himself up, bracing himself for whatever he had to say. 

“Get up.” Tyler snapped. 

Callum didn’t get up fast enough apparently, because Tyler strode over grabbing Callum’s wrist, yanking him up, twisting it the wrong way, making Callum moan. 

Tyler said nothing for a while, staring at Callum with something in his eye. Callum could have swore it was hatred. 

“Do you wanna know how my day was today?”

Callum could feel his breathing becoming heavier, his mind aching trying to think of the right thing to say. 

Tyler was still gripping onto his wrist, making it red, holding it in the air between them both. 

Callum opted for nodding instead. It was probably safer. 

“Well, I go out out to find out that you WERE with Ben the other day!”

“When?!”

“When you allegedly went for a walk, after the dog died, but you found your way to Ben somehow, didn’t you!” He hissed. “Can’t stay away from him.”

“I hadn’t seen him for weeks! You never asked?!”

“So you thought you’d keep quiet, Hope I didn’t find out?! It’s been weeks since you’ve been out, you’ve been lying to me all that time!”

“It wasn’t like that!”

Tyler dropped Callum’s wrist, striking Callum across his face, making him gasp at the sudden sting in his face. 

“You are such a liar Callum and I don’t like it!”

“I haven’t lied!” Callum held the side of his face, taking a step away from Tyler, before he closed the gap just as quick, gripping both of Callum’s wrists holding them away from his face. 

“There you go again, lying again! Were. You. With. Ben?? The other day??!! Just answer the damn question, Callum!”

Tyler shoved Callum away from him, Callum sinking down onto the sofa, the sofa breaking his fall. 

“Yeah, but you never asked where I was! It wasn’t a lie!”

“So you thought you’d shut that lying mouth of yours. Hope Tyler doesn’t find out!” He sneered. 

“No! I only went to see him cos I hadn’t seen him for weeks! I didn’t plan to go see Ben, when I told you I was going for a walk, I would have told you if I knew myself!”

“Why do you always have to make things difficult?!” 

“I’m not! I haven’t done anything?!”

“But you have! You’ve changed everything for me! I let myself care about you, Callum, fall in love with you, for you to what? Have an affair?!”

“I haven’t, I swear!”

“I look after you, I love you, I give you everything you want and this is how you repay me?! By sleeping with your best mate!”

Callum frowned, going pale wondering how he’d found out. 

“You know, I had to find out from his mother!”

“Kathy?!” She didn’t know about any of it, Ben said he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“She said she walked in on you two, lying together on the sofa!”

Callum breathed out slightly, thinking he’d found out he’d slept with him months ago. 

“Why were you asking where I was if you know I’m here??”

“I didn’t ask outright! Just... came up in the conversation, she just mentioned you were round there the other day. ‘Fast asleep on the sofa, bless him.’ With Ben!!”

Callum sighed, knowing Kathy wouldn’t know that Tyler got so angry when he knew he was with Ben. 

“I was sitting on the sofa. So was Ben. That’s it.”

“Bet you were all over each other.” Tyler sneered. 

“I wasn’t! I only fell asleep, cos Ben was watching something boring!”

Callum sighed to himself, lying. Again. Callum knew he was a bad person, lying to him again. Tyler was right, he lied so often he hated himself too. 

Callum knew they weren’t watching Tv at all. Ben holding onto Callum, falling asleep for a while, he was so tired all the time, he just wanted to stop even for a second, not go so fast all the time. He was just so upset about Bailey, Ben comforting him, wrapping his arms around him, keeping him safe, warm. They’d both fallen asleep on the sofa, Callum lying on Ben. He was so exhausted. Kathy must have waked in saw them and left them to it. This must have been, before Ben had kissed him and he left. 

Good job Kathy, didn’t say anything else, Callum thought, about Callum lying across Ben. More than likely Ben’s hand laced through his hair, stroking his side. 

Tyler pulled Callum up by his wrists, making Callum whine from the pain, jolting him from his thoughts. 

Tyler took Callum’s jaw in his hands, turning his head to look at him, Callum trying to stop his shaking look so obvious. 

“That pretty mouth of yours isn’t for Ben, is it?”

Callum shook his head, Tyler’s grip getting tighter. 

“Is it?” Tyler snapped. 

“No...”

“So why do you keep following him around?”

“I’m sorry...”

“He’s your friend, I know.” He sneered, Tyler finished before Callum could say anything. 

“I’ve got friends, but I don’t follow them around everywhere. Sticking to their side every second of everyday.”

“I haven’t seen for weeks again...”

“Look at me, Callum.” Tyler turned Callum’s head forcing him to look at him. 

“Do you want him?”

“No! You know I don’t!”

“Do you love him?”

“No...” 

“So what do you want with him Callum?”

“Nothing! He’s my friend! That’s it. I swear to you.”

Tyler slap Callum a second time, hard across the face again, blood dribbling down his face this time, from his nose and in Callum’s mouth. 

Callum restrained himself from bringing his hand up to his face again. Tyler would only hit him again. 

Tyler held Callum’s face in his hands, Callum’s blood running through Tyler’s fingers. He didn’t care as he hissed at Callum, venom laced through his voice. 

“You want to be with me, have all the money, the fancy house but fuck Ben on the side? That’s what you want isn’t it?” 

“I don’t want your money. You asked me to move in, not the other way?! I want you Tyler!”

“Do you? Really? Or just want Ben?” 

Callum shook his head vigorously, trying to get Tyler to let him go, but he still held on, Tyler’s eyes looking straight through Callum. 

Callum strained his head trying to get Tyler to just drop his hands, Callum’s blood still running between them. 

“No! Please, you’ve got to believe me. I don’t want Ben. And I don’t love Ben.”

Tyler loosened his grip slightly, looking back at Callum, so Callum carried on. 

“I want to be with you, Tyler. Your the person I’m with and I love you, not Ben.” 

Tyler still held on, so Callum tried again, telling him what he wanted to hear. 

“I’m not with anyone else, Ty! Your my boyfriend and it’s going to stay that way.”

Callum strained his head again in Tyler’s hands, getting looser now. 

“I’m staying with you Tyler...” Callum whispered. 

“Why are you trying to get away?” Tyler frowned. 

“Your hurting me...”

Tyler loosened his grip just that little bit looser again, so slightly, so Callum snatched his head back and walking backwards quickly enough, getting free from Tyler’s grasp.

“Why are you afraid of me?!”

“I’m not!” Callum shook my head trying to convince Tyler. “I’m not afraid of you, you were hurting me!” Callum sank down on the sofa near Tyler trying to prove his point. 

Callum saw Tyler’s eyes clear, realising what he’d done, the fear written on Callum’s face even though he was denying it. 

“Are you cold? ‘Ere have this.” Tyler took his coat off, still on from when he first came in, wrapping it around Callum’s shoulders, sitting down next to him. 

Callum wasn’t cold, he was shaking because Tyler was sitting so close to him, scared of what he would do to him. 

“Thanks.” Callum mumbled anyway. 

“I don’t hurt you on purpose you know.”

Callum nodded not looking at Tyler. 

“Callum. You’ve got to understand, it’s not who I am.”

Callum nodded again, pulling the coat around his arms, still shaking. 

“It’s the alcohol. Makes me a different person.”

A person Callum didn’t like. He liked the Tyler who looked after him. Was kind to him. He didn’t think Tyler had even had a drink yet, he had been at work. It can’t have been the alcohol this time. He was just angry at Callum. 

“It’s fine.” Callum whispered. 

“Its not fine. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Callum looked up at Tyler, but he was looking at his lap. Callum actually felt sorry for him. He thought Tyler was sorry for hurting him. 

“I hate myself after, cos I know I hurt you and I know your hurting. Not just physically. I don’t want you to start hating me...”

“I don’t hate you...”

Tyler looked up at Callum, offering Callum a small smile. 

“No?”

“I don’t hate you.” Callum said again. 

“I’m sorry...”

“I know...” Callum got off the sofa suddenly. 

“Where are you going?!”

Callum spun around, dropping the coat. 

“Am I allowed to go out?” Callum challenged, staring down Tyler. 

“Let me clean you up.”

“I don’t want you to.” Callum said flatly. 

“I’m pushing you away aren’t I? You want to go to Ben...”

Callum sighed, Tyler looking sad. 

“I swear on my life, I’m just going for a walk this time...”

“You can’t!” Tyler jumped up, Callum rushing away from him. 

Tyler groaned, realising he’d scared Callum. 

“What if someone sees you like that??”

Callum turned around looking at himself in the mirror near the door, a dark bruise forming under his eye. A small cut underneath it. Callum’s wrists looked a purple colour and his waist wasn’t any better. More bruises would probably appear later. 

“Walked into a door, didn’t I?” Callum whispered, not waiting for Tyler to respond, heading downstairs and out the door. No one would see his waist or wrists, so they couldn’t know. Just a door. 

He wouldn’t go to Ben this time, he couldn’t risk himself getting hurt again. He couldn’t risk Tyler gripping on so hard, hitting him again, hurting him so much. He just couldn’t let himself get hurt again, because of himself, because of anyone. Callum needed to protect himself.


	36. Chapter 36

Callum walked along not sure where he was going. Just away. From everything. Trying to get away from the pain, the hurt. But he couldn’t. The pain and hurt was in his body, his mind. He just wanted it to go away. Make it stop. 

Callum looked up, realising he’d walked from Tyler’s to the Vic. 

He swung the door open, his gaze flicking over the all the alcohol. That would make the pain go away. 

“Double whiskey, Mick.”

“Woah, what have you done to your face!”

Callum looked up at Mick, his blood still running down his face, he hadn’t bothered cleaning it up yet. 

“Walked into a door.” He said bluntly. “Now can I have a double whiskey?”

Mick frowned, giving him one, Callum downing it, holding the glass back out. 

“Another.”

Mick took the glass from him, but didn’t pour anymore. 

“Slow down, we’ve got all night. Something on your mind?”

“Nope. Just coming in for a quiet drink. Well, I’m trying to you, if you’d give me another and go away.”

“I don’t think that’s wise, Callum.”

Callum sighed pushing his stool back and standing up abruptly. 

“I’ll get it myself then!” He was going to walk round the bar until Mick spoke again. 

“Alright! Fine.” Mick cried. 

Callum sat back down slowly, downing it as soon as Mick gave it to him. He held it out again, Mick still pushing. 

“Can’t you just stick to pints?”

“Do you want me to go elsewhere, cos there’s loads of pubs in London, Mick!” He pointed at the door, daring Mick too refuse him. 

Mick sighed, giving him more. 

“That looks really bad, Callum? Let me sort you out.”

“That’s what you get for walking into a door.” Callum gave Mick a sarcastic smile, downing the rest of his whiskey. “I don’t need ‘sorting’. I’m perfectly fine here, thank you. So don’t tell me what to do.”

“I wasn’t? I’m just tryna help?”

“I don’t want your help Mick!! If I did I’d have asked! Just give me the bottle, then you can stop bothering me.”

Calum didn’t wait grabbing it from the side, and walking back out the Vic. 

He didn’t know where he was going to go now. Didn’t have a plan, only to numb his pain in his waist, his mind, his face. 

Callum sank down onto a bench, swigging some of it out of the bottle. 

He sat there for a while, starting to get dark. He knew he should go home, but he didn’t want to. He knew Tyler would get angry again, but if he drank enough to make the pain go away, he might not feel it next time Tyler hurt him. 

Callum looked down at his lap, growing wet from his tears. He didn’t even realise he’d been crying. 

He didn’t know why Tyler hurt him so much, what he was doing wrong? Only because of Ben. But sometimes, he still hurt him even if it wasn’t about Ben, if Tyler was in a bad mood or Callum didn’t do something right. 

He thought Ben would go away if he drank too much, but he was still there. Ben was always in his head. No matter how much, he’d drank, he was still there. Drawing him to him. Callum needed him. 

Ben jumped at someone knocking on the door, insistent not stopping. 

“Alright! I’m coming, calm down! Jeez.” 

Ben barely opened the back door, “Oh, Cal! What’re you doin’-“ Callum let himself into the kitchen, throwing his arms around Ben, sobbing into his neck, finally letting his tears fall, he’d been trying to keep in since it all happened. 

Ben hadn’t seen his face, he was too quick for Ben to register it. 

“Cal? What’s wrong!” 

Callum ignored him, crying into him. 

Ben stroked the back of his hair, lightly moving his hair away from his eyes. 

“Ssh, your alright, I’ve got you. Just breathe for me.” 

Callum choked out another sob, clinging to Ben. He could always seem to keep up with things with other people. But when he was with Ben, his walls came down and he let himself feel what he was really feeling, not what he was showing people. 

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum a little tighter, pressing the lightest of kisses to Callum’s hair, breathing him in, Callum too busy sobbing to notice. He didn’t want to do anything after what happened the other day, when Callum freaked at Ben, lying on him. 

“You’ll be okay. Whatever it is, you know I’m here.” Ben whispered. 

“I can’t!” Callum whined. 

“Can’t what?” 

“I can’t do it anymore!!” 

“Do what?!” 

“Tyler!” Callum moaned. 

Ben glared ahead of him, furious that he’d hurt Callum. That Callum was in this state because of him. 

He was still sobbing uncontrollably into Ben’s neck. 

“What’s happened?” Ben tried. 

“Everything!” 

“What do you mean? Your not making any sense Callum?” 

“He hurt me again...” 

“Again? Is this about Tyler? What did he say to you?” 

Callum lifted his head up, looking at Ben, seeing Ben’s face drop instantly. 

Callum had a cut under his eye, the beginnings of a bruise forming down the side of his face. Blood still running down his face. 

“Oh my god, Callum! What happened!” He noticed the bottle of whiskey Callum was clutching, instantly taking it from him. 

“Tyler...” Callum whispered, letting loose his grip of the bottle. Ben placed it on the table out of reach of Callum. 

“He did this?!!”

Ben never even presumed it was Tyler, the first thought, Callum had been mugged or something. When Callum said hurt him, he thought they’d just had an argument not Tyler physically hurting Callum. 

Ben reached up, stroking his thumb lightly across his cheek, Callum wincing. 

“Sorry. Did he...” Asking if it was him again, searching Callum’s eyes. 

Callum nodded slowly. He cursed himself for responding to Ben’s question so quickly, he lies beginning to unravel. 

Callum saw Ben’s gaze, instantly regretting saying anything. 

“It was an accident...” He tried. 

“You don’t hit someone by accident, Callum.” Ben hissed. 

Callum flinched, backing away, the same venom in Tyler’s voice. 

“I’m sorry. It just makes me so angry that he’s done this to you.” 

“I’m fine.” Callum mumbled. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I was just a bit upset. But I’m fine now.” He felt like he was autopilot, saying the same things over again to Tyler, to Ben, to himself.

“Your not fine, Callum! Your supposedly boyfriend has just attacked you!” 

“He hadn’t attacked me, Ben!” Callum turned away from Ben, reaching for the door handle. 

He groaned to himself, closing his eyes. Why did he even open his mouth, why did he go to Ben again?! Now Ben would keep pushing him. He swore to Tyler he wouldn’t go to Ben and he’d lied. Again. He wasn’t even planning to go to Ben either, he just ended up there. 

“Wait!” Ben reached for the door handle too, grabbing Callum’s hand. 

“Please, just stay for a bit. I haven’t seen you for weeks again.” 

Callum glanced down at Ben’s hand still holding his. He moved his hand so Ben dropped his own. 

“Let me do something with that cut. It looks sore. I want to make you better.”

“I’m fine.” 

“Please, Cal...” 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut at Ben’s voice pleading with him. He’d refused Mick, but he couldn’t Ben.

He turned back around slowly, sitting down at the kitchen table, saying nothing. 

“Thank you.” Ben said. 

Callum ignored him, refusing to look at him as he sat down next to Callum slowly, his gaze flicking over Callum’s bloody face. 

He knew Ben was going to start asking questions sooner later, trying to figure out more lies to tell him. He should never have come here in the first place, but he did anyway. It was like his head needed to be with Ben, telling him where he should be. Where was safest. And Callum couldn’t stop it.


	37. Chapter 37

Ben moved the bottle of whiskey onto the kitchen counter, away from Callum, still sniffling to himself, trying to dry his eyes from crying. 

He grabbed the first aid kit from under the kitchen sink, sitting down slowly next to Callum. 

Ben gently cupped Callum’s chin with his hand, getting him to look at him. 

Callum glanced down at Ben’s hand on him, before looking back up quickly. He shouldn’t let Ben do that. It was wrong, Callum told himself. 

Ben looked at Callum, his eyes looked so dull. None of their usual sparkle in them. Something else clouding his eyes. Fear? 

“It might sting.” Ben warned.

Ben turned Callum’s head to the side gently, keeping his hand under his chin as he lightly cleaned his cheek from the blood, with a wipe. 

“Usually you sorting me out, after I’ve been in a fight.” Ben chuckled trying to get Callum to smile. 

Ben glanced at Callum, smiling weakly, vanishing again, going back to being so sad. 

Callum hissed at the first contact, snatching his head away, a stinging sensation shooting through the cut. 

“I’m sorry...” Ben whispered. He didn’t know if he was apologising for the stinging or because he hadn’t been there for Callum when it happened. 

Ben reached for Callum’s face again, Callum closing his eyes at the contact, telling himself over and over that Ben was helping, not hurting. 

Callum opened his eyes looking at Ben, knowing he was safe. He winced a bit at the stinging again, Ben muttering another apology. 

He felt like Ben’s hand shouldn’t be anywhere near him, in his face. Ben shouldn’t be touching him. If Tyler found out somehow... 

Ben didn’t say anything for a while, noticing Callum keep flinching every time he touched him. He made sure there wasn’t anymore blood on Callum’s face, making sure the cut was clean of anything else. 

Ben took his hand away from Callum’s face slowly, Callum wary of whether his hand went. 

He didn’t say anything for a while, Callum looking at his lap. Ben remained silent, chucking all the wipes away and quietly putting the first aid kit away. 

He sat back down next to Callum, still not looking at him. 

“Has...” Ben hesitated not sure whether to say it. But he needed to know. 

“Has Tyler done this before?” Ben whispered, searching Callum’s eyes. 

Callum shook his head quickly, too quickly for Ben’s liking. 

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” 

Callum looked at Ben for a while, shaking his head again slowly this time. He’d already lied to Ben, he would be annoyed with him if he found out everything. 

Ben frowned at him but said nothing, knowing there was more to it. 

Callum felt like he wasn’t breathing, Ben scanning his face, trying to see if he was lying to him. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Ben asked gently. 

Callum shook his head, refusing to look at him again. 

“Please Cal, just look at me.” 

Callum hesitated for a few more seconds, reluctantly looking up at Ben. 

“Talk to me.” Ben whispered. “You can tell me anything. Absolutely anything. You know I’m always here if you need me.” He encouraged. He didn’t want to push Callum either. 

“I know...” Callum whispered. He hadn’t spoken since he sat down. 

Ben glanced at his wrist, red marks around it, slightly purple from bruises. 

Callum noticed Ben’s gaze, sighing to himself for not covering it up. He knew Ben would want to look so reluctantly gave him his wrist, clearly able to see that someone, Tyler, had grabbed him way too hard. 

Ben sighed, stroking his thumb across Callum wrist. 

“You just said your not hurt anywhere else...” 

“I forgot it was there! It doesn’t hurt, so I... forgot?” Callum tried to get his words out, coming up with a lame excuse. 

Ben sighed looking back up at Callum. 

“Has he done this before?” Ben asked again, his voice sounded blunt, trying to get Callum to tell him. Trying to get an answer out of him. 

“It was just once. He wouldn’t do it again. He was already sorry before I left.” Callum whispered. 

“You came straight here?” 

“Pretty much.” Callum nodded looking from Ben’s hand still stroking his wrist slowly, to his face. 

Ben looked at his phone on the side, someone ringing him. 

“Mick.” Ben glanced at Callum, looking at Ben’s phone, letting it ring. 

“Probably checking up on me...” Callum sighed, watching the call end. 

“You went there first? Is that where you got the whiskey from?”

Callum nodded, looking guilty. 

“You’ve drank more haven’t you?” Ben sighed. 

“Not that much...”

“Nearly a bottle of whiskey??” Ben raised his eyes. 

Callum glanced at it, not realising he’d drank that much, it had nearly gone. 

“Fine. Just that.” Callum sighed. 

Ben nodded, leaning his head to the side, pressing the phone to his ear against his shoulder, calling Mick back. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” He repeated. 

Callum’s side still ached from Tyler grabbing him. He shook his head anyway, knowing Ben would just worry. 

“Okay.” Ben nodded, still not sure. He didn’t want Callum to feel like he was pushing too much, trying to get Callum to tell him in his own time. 

“I’m okay.” Callum nodded. That wasn’t a lie. He always told himself he’d be okay. And he would be eventually. The pain this time would go away, until next time. 

“Mick?” Ben answered, when he picked up. 

Callum glanced at Ben holding both of his hands, still circling his thumbs over Callum’s wrists, listening to Mick, trying to make them feel a little better. 

“I know he’s been drinking! He’s with me. He’s fine.” Ben glanced at Callum, staring at his wrists, carrying on stroking him. 

“Course I’ve seen his face!”

Callum looked up quickly, shaking his head vigorously at Ben. 

“He walked into a door.” Ben told Mick, looking at Callum. “He told you that? Why you asking me then?!”

Callum offered Ben a small smile, not telling Mick what really happened. 

Ben smiled back at him, listening to Mick. 

“It was definitely a door, Mick! He came straight here, thanks for letting me know anyway.” Ben nodded to himself, letting go of one of Callum’s wrists briefly, locking his phone and taking Callum’s wrists back. 

“He said he rang me cos you were on the warpath. Said you only listen to me, so he rang me. Think he thought, you were still out there, getting drunk somewhere.”

“I may have shouted at him a bit, cos he wouldn’t let me have a drink...” Callum winced. 

“He cares about you, Callum... He was probably worried, the state you were looking in. A door?! Come on, Cal, a door can’t do that!”

Callum shrugged, looking at Ben. “It worked didn’t it?”

“I knew there was something off about Tyler.” Ben muttered. 

“We’re fine! It was just once! Just back off, Ben!”

“I care about you, Cal! He hurt you and your now your looking like this! Please, just talk to me, Callum. You can trust me!”

“I can’t trust anyone anymore...” Callum whispered. 

“Please Callum, this is me, your talking to. I’m your best friend! You know me!”

Callum looked at Ben for a while, Ben’s eyes pleading with him. They both knew he was more than just his friend. 

“Please...” Ben whispered. 

“Ican’tIcan’tIcan’t.” 

Ben stood up quickly, standing next to Callum gathering him into his arms, turning his head to sob into Ben. 

“Ssh, your alright. I’ve got you.” Callum gripped onto Ben’s arm, shaking in his arms. “Shshsh. Your gonna be okay, I promise you. I’m gonna make sure of it.” Ben hushed Callum gently rocking him in his arms, stroking his hair. “You can trust me...” He whispered. 

Callum whined to himself, Ben holding onto him even tighter. 

“Stay here tonight.” Ben blurted out. 

“I can’t!!” Callum squeezed his eyes shut, burying his nose into Ben’s shirt. 

Ben laced his hand through Callum’s hair holding his head to him, closing his eyes. It killed him seeing Callum hurting so much. 

“He’ll be wondering where I am...” Callum whispered, pulling his head away to looking up at Ben. “He’ll be worried about me...” 

Ben felt physically sick at Callum still trying to protect Tyler. Worrying about him? He’d just attacked him and now he’d be worried about Callum? 

“Don’t you think you just need a bit of time apart for a while?” Ben tried again. He was trying to remain calm for Callum’s sake. 

He cupped Callum’s chin in his hand stroking across his jaw slowly as Callum looked up at him, still sitting down on the chair. 

Ben sighed to himself. Callum looked so tired, like he could sleep for a week, his cheek looking sore too. 

Ben really didn’t want him to leave. He knew he could keep Callum safe here. 

Callum looked back down at Ben’s other hand still stroking his thumb, across his wrist, sighing to himself. He nodded slowly, knowing Tyler would be fuming when he got home. But Ben just felt like the safest option right now. 

“You can have my bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa.” He knew Callum just needed sleep, not pushing him to do anything else. 

Callum shook his head quickly, still in Ben’s hand. “No, I’ll take the sofa, I’m not kicking you outta your bed!” He’d stayed over a couple times, crashing on the sofa, but he’d only slept in Ben’s bed once that morning he could have swore he’d been spiked. 

“Cal, I’ll be fine. You need sleep. A proper nights sleep.”

“I’m taking the sofa.” Callum told him. 

“Fine...” Ben sighed. “You can be so stubborn sometimes.” 

“You know I like to be awkward.” Callum smiled. 

“Hmm, I know you too well.” Ben smiled at Callum, seeing his first proper smile since he’d got here, looking a little more relaxed.


	38. Chapter 38

Ben had grabbed a spare duvet and a couple of pillows for Callum, making sure he’d be comfortable. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here? You can go upstairs in my bed if you want.” Both of them skirting around them both sleeping together before, Ben trying to put his feelings aside for Callum. 

“I’ll be okay, Ben.” Callum smiled. 

Ben still looked unsure, but nodded anyway, not wanting to push Callum. 

“Come get me if you need me.”

Callum nodded, smiling gratefully at Ben. 

“Promise?”

“I promise.” Callum rolled his eyes, jokingly, Ben grinning at him. “I’ll be fine.” Callum smiled. 

Ben squinted at him, definitely making sure. 

Callum sat there for a while, when Ben had left. He pulled his shirt over his head, looking at his waist, a dark bruise beginning to form. 

Callum lay across the sofa, wincing at the shot of pain, straight through him. 

He lay there for at least two hours staring out in front of him at nothing. All he could see was Tyler gripping onto him. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear the images from his head. He’d lied to Tyler, to Ben, now to Mick. 

Callum opened his eyes, his first gaze landing on Ben’s dressing gown draped over the back of the armchair.

He stood up, walking over to it, taking it into his hands, bunching his fists in it. He brought it up, burying his nose in it, closing his eyes. 

He didn’t even know why he needed to feel Ben. Just that Ben made him feel safer. 

Callum pulled it on over his shirt, wrapping it around him. 

He looked towards the stairs back to the sofa, sighing to himself. 

‘Come get me if you need me.’ 

Callum closed his eyes, Ben’s voice in his head. He found he needed Ben more often nowadays. 

Callum opened Ben’s door slowly, just standing in the doorway, not sure whether to go back downstairs, not wanting to wake Ben up. 

Ben looked up at Callum standing in his dressing gown. He’d not been to sleep yet either, too busy thinking about Callum, what Tyler had done to him. He was sure Callum was lying to him. 

“Can I...” Callum trailed off, thinking it was weird, sleeping in the same bed as your best mate. Who he’d slept with. Who had admitted he loved him. 

Ben shuffled over to the other half of the bed, opening the cover for Callum get in. 

Callum took another step into the room, hesitating, before walking quietly over to Ben sitting down on the edge. 

He shrugged the dressing gown off, lying down and pulling the cover over him. 

“The sofa was a little uncomfortable.” Callum told him, knowing it wasn’t just the sofa, why he came up here. Ben was his best friend. Made him feel safe. 

“I said I was here, if you needed me.” 

“Thanks.” Callum whispered. 

Ben squeezed his shoulder, Callum closing his eyes, at Ben’s hand on him. 

He sighed, turning around to face Ben, both looking at each other. 

“Thank you.” Callum whispered again. He didn’t need to say what for. For looking after him. Being there. 

Ben nodded, Callum smiling gratefully at him, not trying to get him to talk. Just giving him a little quiet time. 

Callum rested his hand on his pillow next him, both just looking at each other. 

He saw Ben glance at his wrist, red marks wrapped around his wrist. 

Callum moved it away, Ben looking back at Callum, so many unspoken words. 

“Get some sleep.” Ben whispered. 

Callum nodded closing his eyes. If he went to sleep quick enough, Ben wouldn’t ask anymore questions. Questions that he couldn’t answer. 

Ben pulled Callum’s hand back from under the cover, hooking his hand around Callum’s. He thought Callum would take it away again, but Callum opened his eyes, looking at Ben, wrapping his own fingers around Ben’s hands instead, smiling at him and trying to get back to sleep again. 

Ben didn’t go to sleep, he lay there watching Callum sleep instead. He knew he was there, but if he watched him, he could definitely knownCallum was safe. 

He stroked Callum’s hair from his eyes, when he was asleep. So much more relaxed, less tense as he gripped onto Ben’s hand. 

Ben sighed at the cut under Callum’s eye, looking a little better now he’d cleaned it, a dark bruise forming down the side of his face. 

Ben wiped a tear slipping down his cheek, trying not to make any noise to wake Callum up. 

“I’m so sorry.” Ben whispered. “I should have been there. Kept you safe. From him. I will. I’ll keep you safe now.”

Ben wiped his eyes, shuffling closer to Callum, wrapping his arms around him. 

Callum sighed, burying his head in Ben’s neck, draping his arm around Ben’s waist too. 

Ben smiled to himself, as Callum pressed himself into Ben as close as possible, still gripping onto Ben’s hand. 

Callum could feel Ben, half asleep. Holding his hand, wrapped around him, keeping him warm. He thought he’d heard Ben’s voice so woke up a little. 

“I love you...” Callum whispered, dropping back off.

“What?!” Ben pulled away, sighing when Callum had gone back to sleep. 

He’d never said it properly to Ben since Ben had told him he loved Callum. 

Ben looked at Callum for awhile, seeing if he woke up again, but he didn’t, breathing gently, not letting go of Ben’s hand. 

Callum shuffled a little closer to Ben, burying his head in Ben’s neck. 

“I love you.” Ben whispered, holding onto Callum even tighter.


	39. Chapter 39

Ben opened his eyes slowly, smiling to himself, remembering Callum was here. 

He brushed some of Callum’s hair out of his face gently, still fast asleep. 

Callum let out a sigh, readjusting his grip on Ben’s hand. He hadn’t let go all night, clutching onto Ben. 

“M’tired.” Callum moaned. 

Ben smiled at Callum scrunching his nose up, burying his head further into the pillow. 

They were that close together, they’d been sharing the same pillow all night, Callum wrapping his other arm around Ben, keeping him as close as possible, their legs becoming tangled in their sleep. 

“Sshh, you can still sleep, Cal.” Ben whispered, running his hand through Callum’s hair. 

“Ben...” Callum whispered, smiling to himself. 

“I’m here darlin’.” Ben whispered. 

Callum shuffled closer to Ben, pressing a kiss to his neck. 

Ben didn’t know if Callum even knew what he was doing, he was still half asleep. 

Ben placed Callum on his own pillow gently, Callum moaning. 

“No...” Callum breathed out, needing Ben closer. 

“Ssh, go back to sleep, your probably still exhausted, I just need to go and do something.”

“Mmm?”

Ben stroked Callum’s hair, Callum smiling to himself settling back down. 

Ben slipped out of bed slowly, stopping when Callum moved again. 

He didn’t want Callum to wake up yet. He looked so exhausted and drained. Ben just wanted him to rest. 

Ben smiled at Callum reaching out for him, frowning to himself, hugging Ben’s pillow to him instead. 

Ben creeped down the stairs, looking for Callum’s phone. He spotted it left on the table from last night, typing in the password and flicking through his contacts. 

He spotted Tyler’s number adding it to his own phone.

“What you doin’?”

Ben jumped, turning around seeing Jay stand there. 

“Err, nothing??”

“Wait, is Callum here?” Jay frowned at Callum’s phone. 

“Upstairs.” 

“Woahwoahwoah! When you say upstairs, do you mean like upstairs-upstairs?? Like-“

“Yes, Jay! I haven’t got time for this! I’ve got something I need to do.”

“Erm, hello?! You’ve been waiting for Callum for like years and he’s in your bed and you’ve got something to do!!”

Ben groaned sitting down on the sofa. 

“I didn’t sleep with him, he was so tired...” Ben whispered, seeing the state of Callum’s face again. 

Jay frowned at Ben, watching him running his hands through his hair. 

“Tired? What for? Your making no sense, Ben?” 

Jay sat down next to Ben, rubbing down his back, breathing shakily. 

“Nothing. Callum just came over last night and got upset cos Tyler...”

Ben closed his eyes, hating himself for letting Callum get hurt. 

“What did he do...” Jay asked. 

“He hurt him, like really hurt him, Jay...”

“As in...”

Ben nodded, looking up at Jay. 

“He’s got a really bad cut across his cheek, a bruise down the side of his face, purple bruises across his wrists... Maybe more, but he wouldn’t show me.”

“Tyler did that?!”

“Yes!”

“Callum told you he did?”

“He was in a right state, Jay! He’d been drinking, mouthing off at Mick. That’s not Callum, Jay... And he just broke down, crying! He had blood all down his face, and he wouldn’t tell me what happened, insisting Tyler did it once. I tried to encourage him to open up to me, but he just refused to speak!”

“He just came straight to you?”

“Yeah, after he’d had a go at Mick! I cleaned him up and sat with him for a bit, it was already late when he got here so I told him to go bed. He’s exhausted, Jay.”

“Why did he get in your bed if he still thinks your his mate?” Jay frowned. 

“I told him I loved him a couple of months ago...”

“And I’m only finding this out now?! And he’s been seeing you since??”

“No! I slept with him too, just the once. He told me he loved me too, last night, but I don’t know if he remembers, he was already half asleep when he said it. But since then, he’s just shut off from everyone! Tyler’s been hurting him, Jay!”

“You said Tyler did it once?”

“Callum was lying! I know it.” Ben jumped up pacing across the room, Jay sitting on the sofa, watching him. 

“Why would he lie? To you??”

Ben spun around glaring at Jay. 

“Cos he’s scared, Jay! He’s scared Tyler will hurt him even more if he tells someone. I know it’s different but I know what it’s like! Stella??!! He’s scared to even tell me, cos he’s scared of Tyler.”

“Are you sure he’s been doing this more than once, what if your jumping to conclusions? What if it was just the once and they just had a disagreement?”

“No, Jay! I am not jumping at anything. I know, damn well Callum was lying to me. I could see it in his eyes. He looked so broken. And I can’t just stand here letting him go back to that fucking bastard!!”

“Just calm down, Ben. You can’t go doing something stupid.”

“It wasn’t a disagreement!! You haven’t seen him, he looks really bad! And I can’t let Callum hurt anymore! I love him, Jay, and I can’t let him get hurt knowing Tyler is still doing it to him when I’m not there to keep him safe!!”

“What if Callum doesn’t want you to do anything?”

“I can see it in his eyes, Jay. He’s terrified incase I find out the whole truth, cos he’s broken! I can’t sit here doing nothing, Jay...”

Ben sat back down next to Jay, trying to breathe normally. 

“What are you going to do?” Jay frowned. 

“I don’t even know yet. But I need to do something fast...”

“And Tyler?? If he is the violent type-“

“Not IF, He IS!” Ben hissed. 

“Is then! Precisely he’ll find you too!”

“Let him. I’d like to see him try and touch me...”


	40. Chapter 40

“This is all my fault...” Ben whispered. 

“What?! No it’s not, Ben, how could it be?!” Jay frowned. 

“Cos I took him to that club! If I hadn’t have taken him, he would never have met Tyler. I did this to him. I’ve practically been hurting him myself...”

“No you haven’t, Ben. How can anyone predict the future. It was just a harmless night out at a club.”

“It wasn’t harmless though was it, Jay?!” Ben snapped. “Callum’s broken and that is down. To. Me.”

“You can’t blame yourself, Ben.” 

Ben groaned, burying his head in his hands. 

“I need to go upstairs, check Callum’s okay, I’ll text you later.” Ben told Jay. “I just don’t think he wants anyone to know. He’ll probably hate me if he knows I’ve told you.”

“Just tell me before you go doing something stupid.”

“It’s not like your gonna help is it?” Ben huffed. 

“Yeah?”

“Thought you’d try and stop me?” Ben frowned. 

“I wanna help. I don’t like Callum with Tyler anymore than you do.”

Ben nodded, hugging Jay. “Thank you...” He whispered. “I just want Cal to be safe.”

“He will be.”

Ben creeped back into his room, crawling across the bed, lying next to Callum. He was still fast asleep. 

Ben pulled Callum to him, Callum immediately nestling further into Ben, burying his head in his neck. 

Ben lay with Callum whilst he slept, pressing small kisses to his hair. 

~*~

Callum sighed to himself, feeling Ben stroking his hair lightly, humming to himself. They were wrapped around each other, sharing the same pillow again. 

“How you feeling?” Ben whispered. 

Callum wasn’t sure if he meant his sleep or his face. 

“Okay.” He settled for. 

“Your face looks sore.”

Callum shuffled across to his own pillow, shrugging at Ben. 

“It’ll heal.”

“Until the next time?”

Callum sighed, taking his hand from Ben’s. 

“I’m sorry.” Ben said quickly, taking Callum’s hand back. 

“I’ve already told you-“

“It was once, I know.” Ben sighed. 

They looked at each other, for a while. Both of them knowing Callum was lying to Ben. 

“I can’t stay for long...” Callum whispered. 

“Why? Why can’t you just leave him?! Even if you don’t want to be with with me, I don’t like him!! He hurt you, Callum and I don’t want you to go back to him.”

“It’s not that easy, Ben...” Callum closed his eyes, not wanting Ben to keep pushing. He just wanted to stay here like this for a while, both of them lying together. 

“Why?! Why do you stay with him, really, if he keeps hurting you...”

Callum sighed, looking at Ben. 

“He doesn’t do it all the time...”

“So he has done it more than once?”

“No! I just meant...”

“The shouting, separating you from me, from Jay, from all your friends, Cal! Making you feel so sad all the time! Why can’t you see what he’s doing to you?”

Callum groaned lying on his back. 

“Can’t we just not talk about that?” 

“He’s not gonna go away...”

“I’m fine, Ben! Just stop pushing!”

“Okay! Fine!” Ben shuffled back over to Callum, wrapping his arm around his waist. “I’m sorry...” He whispered. 

Callum sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of Ben’s head. 

“Don’t be, I just don’t wanna keep going on about it, I’m fine honestly.”

Ben closed his eyes, sighing to himself. Callum wasn’t fine and he still wouldn’t talk to him. 

“Okay.” Ben said gently. 

“Thank you.” 

“I just don’t want you to be hurting...”

“I’m not.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Callum was lying to him. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t talk to him, but he would get him to somehow. 

“He’s not like it all the time...”

“Only when you upset him?” 

Callum sighed knowing Ben was right. 

“He loves me. And he does look after me...”

“You deserve better.” Ben huffed. He looked up at Callum, searching his eyes. “You deserve the world.” 

Callum smiled at Ben, stroking his hair. 

“I don’t deserve anything.”

“Who says you don’t?!”

“Me. I’m not exactly special, just a normal person.”

“You put yourself down too much. I’m tryna give you a compliment here, take it.”

“Look, I need to go, I’ll text or something.”

“Now?? Please don’t go!”

Callum sat up, looking at Ben. He didn’t want Ben to keep being so nice to him. If Tyler knew he’d been here all night, he presume he’d slept with Ben. Technically he had done anything with hi.

“I need to go home, Ben. I shouldn’t have even stayed the night, let alone in your room!”

“Please, Cal! It could be so easy if you let it.”

Callum groaned, standing up. 

“Leave it, Ben! Tyler is probably driving himself crazy wondering where I am. I can’t keep doing this Ben. I can’t keep coming to you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” He groaned. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you! I’m sorry if I’m confusing you, but I just want you to be happy!”

“I am!” Callum sighed to himself, leaving Ben still on the bed. 

Callum looked for his phone, spotting it on the sofa.

“Cal, please, I don’t want you to go back to him, if he’s gonna hurt you again!” 

“He won’t!” Callum turned around, holding onto the sides of Ben’s face. “I know you care, but I’m okay. I don’t want you to get mixed up in all of this.”

“All of what??”

Callum sighed to himself looking at Ben. He’d never forgive himself if Tyler hurt Ben too. 

“I just meant cos you keep telling me you love me, but I can’t give you what you want.”

“Last night...” Ben started. 

“I know.” Callum finished. He didn’t know if he could say it again, make it sound so real. 

He rested his head against Ben’s, closing his eyes. 

“I love you, Cal. Your all I want.”

“Don’t waste your love on me...”

Callum pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips, swearing to himself that he wouldn’t get Ben tangled up in all of this again. 

He suddenly felt like he needed to get out there quick enough, walking quickly through the kitchen, leaving Ben. 

Ben spun around trying to find his phone, ringing Jay. 

“I couldn’t get him to stay! I need to do something before Tyler hurts again. You said you wanted to help. I need you to do something for me first, before I do what I need to...”


	41. Chapter 41

“Oh my god, Callum! I thought something bad had happened to you!”

Callum tensed, as Tyler wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly. 

He pulled away, scanning Callum’s face. 

“Did I do that...” He whispered, looking at the cut on Callum’s. 

Callum nodded slowly, looking at Tyler looking horrified. 

“I’m so sorry...” 

“I’m fine.” Callum said bluntly. He closed his eyes, waiting for him to ask where he’d been. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve been pushing you away, and I know you stayed out all night because of me. But I know now that it was wrong. I swear I’m gonna treat you how you want from now on. I’ve been horrible and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t do anything when I’m around. I promise I’m gonna be better.”

Callum smiled at him, Tyler grabbing his coat. 

“Where you going?” Callum frowned. 

“Where we going.” He corrected. 

“Oh?” Callum found himself being dragged along by Tyler back out the front door. 

~*~

Callum thought Tyler had brought him to a fancy restaurant to say sorry, but he clearly had other ideas. 

Tyler dropped to the floor on one knee, producing a box with solid silver ring in it. 

“Tyler...” Callum gave a slight shake of his head trying to make him get back up, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or he was ignoring Callum. 

“Ty, get up!” Callum hissed. 

He couldn’t say no now? With practically the whole restaurant watching. 

“Marry me.” Was all he said. 

Callum said nothing, but Tyler looked right at him, waiting for Callum to say something. 

“I mean it, Callum. I can’t ever be apart from you. I want you to be mine, always.” 

“I don’t know what to say...” 

Tyler thought he was just overwhelmed, but Callum didn’t know what to say because he didn’t think they were at that stage yet. Maybe he didn’t really want to. They still weren’t on good terms about what he did yesterday. 

“Say yes. I will treat you right, forever.”

There was a long silence. Callum felt like there was a knot in his chest, he couldn’t breathe anymore. 

But he nodded slowly anyway. 

Tyler grinned at Callum, pushing the ring onto his finger, wrapping his arms around Callum tightly. 

“I love you.” Tyler whispered.

He didn’t say it very often, Callum’s smiling at him. 

“I love you too, Ty...”

~*~

They were walking home together, Tyler gripping onto Callum’s hand. 

“Why’d you take it off?” Tyler frowned. 

Callum was confused for second then, lifted his hand to look at it. He’d taken the ring off before they left. 

“Don’t wanna lose it do I?” Callum tried. 

“You shouldn’t lose it, if it fits?”

“Damage it. Don’t want it to get scratched.”

“How will people know your with me, if you don’t wear it?”

“Cos I’ll tell ‘em.” Callum smiled. 

Tyler smiled at Callum, dropping his hand and holding onto the top of Callum’s arms so he stopped walking. 

“How will people know your mine?”

Tyler loosened his grip when a flicker of pain crossed Callum’s face from where he was digging his fingers in slightly too hard. 

“Do you love me?” Tyler asked. 

“You know I do.” Callum said flatly. 

Tyler took the box out of Callum’s coat pocket holding it out for him.

Callum just looked at him, Tyler looking right back. 

“Put it on then.” Tyler encouraged. 

Callum forced a smile at Tyler, putting it on. 

“Much better.” Tyler said, pressing a kiss to Callum’s mouth, before taking his hand in his own again. “You’ll be Callum Anderson. soon.”

Callum let go of Tyler’s hand, stopping. Tyler walked forward a few steps before he realised he’d left Callum behind. 

“What?” Tyler frowned. 

“I don’t want to change my name.”

“Why?”

“Cos I like it how it is. I want to be just me.”

“Oh.” Callum saw the hurt cross Tyler’s face but stood his ground. 

“I want to be Callum Highway.”

“Not even a double barrelled name?”

“I don’t want a double one either.”

“Don’t you want to be associated with me?”

“Course I do, I just want to keep my name. Loads of people keep their names. I mean, its not like we’re getting married, tomorrow are we? So we’ve got loads of time to work stuff out.”

“And when were you thinking?”

“I don’t know?! I’d not even thought about it? You only asked me just.” Callum cried. 

“Now you’ve thought about when would you want to?”

“A couple of years?” Callum frowned. 

“Years?!”

“Why?”

“Cos I was thinking like a month or something.”

“A month??!! That’s way too soon?!” 

Tyler frowned at Callum, as he took a step away from Tyler knowing he’d said the wrong thing, wary of Tyler’s rising anger. 

“Don’t you want to marry me?”

“Course I do? Just not this soon...”

He looked at Callum for a while, looking like he was trying to work something out before finally speaking. 

“Fine.” He huffed. 

“Fine what?” Callum breathed out, noticing Tyler not getting any angrier. 

“We’ll do it however you want, with whatever you want.”

“Yeah?” Callum was still wary of him. 

“Course. I just want you to be happy.”

Callum smiled at Tyler, hooking his hand in his again. 

“I am.” 

Tyler thought if he let Callum decide things, he’d want to marry him sooner. 

Callum smiled at Tyler, finally thinking Tyler wanted him to be genuinely happy.


	42. Chapter 42

Callum groaned sitting up in bed. He hadn’t felt right all night, but didn’t want Tyler to notice. He either ignored him for ages or was all over him. He was so hot, slightly dizzy too. 

He slid out of bed slowly, careful not to wake Tyler, heading downstairs to the kitchen. 

Callum sat down at the table, enjoying the silence, drinking a glass of water, trying to cool himself down. 

“You okay?”

Callum rolled his eyes, turning round to face Tyler, smiling at him. No more silence then.

“Fine. Just feel a little warm.”

“Your not ill are you?”

They both looked through to the living room at the door bell ringing. 

“I’ll be fine, just needed some water.” Callum half stood up, Tyler pushing him back down. 

“I’ll go! Just stay there and... drink the water.”

Callum smiled at him, his smile disappearing as a wave a nausea washed over him. 

“I’ll be right back.” Tyler promised. 

Callum nodded, closing his eyes breathing through his mouth. 

He walked over to the sink, thinking he wasn’t going to make it to the bathroom, groaning to himself. 

Tyler opened the door, to be greeted by Jay. 

They just stood there staring at each other. 

“Did you actually want something or...” Tyler asked, putting his hand back on the door to close. 

“Yes!” Jay held his hand out. “Jay—mes... James. That’s my name. James.” He frowned. 

“Right?? And what do you want James, I’m a bit busy.” Tyler sighed, ignoring Jays hand, so he dropped it back down. 

“Oh right, course. What do I want?” He laughed nervously, forgetting what to say. 

Tyler frowned at Jay, waiting for him. 

“Oh! Erm, I think I’ve got the wrong house...”

“Okay?? It was nice meeting you James, but I’m a bit busy.”

“I know you just said. You busy for anything in particular?” Jay added. 

“My boyfriend isn’t feeling too well, if you must know. Not that it’s any of your business.” Tyler frowned, shutting the door. 

“Pfft, Charming.” Jay huffed, grabbing his phone. 

“Ben! This is definitely Tyler’s house.”

“How sure are you?” 

“He answered the door?”

“Good. Was Callum there?”

“Think so, said he’d got to go and see his boyfriend. Pretty sure that Callum?? I think he’s ill?”

“Callum’s ill?! How he is?!”

“You just said make sure this was definitely Tyler’s house! Not invite myself in and have a cup of tea with him!! How am I supposed to check on Callum?!

“What did you say?”

“Not much. Just said I’d got the wrong house. I’m pretty sure that’s his house if he answered it. Kept saying he was busy. Shut the door in my face the bastard.”

“Probably keeping Callum prisoner.” Ben huffed. 

“Can I come home now?”

“Yeah? Thanks for this. I can’t exactly go can I. He’d probably punch me lights out cos I’m too near Cal. He doesn’t know you.”

“I’m James to you.” Jay grinned. 

“Eh?” 

“First name I came up with. I was improvising okay?! I was trying to come up with something I could say, so I came up with the wrong house?? I couldn’t think of anything else!”

“God, your terrible at this.” Ben sighed. “Thanks anyway. You can come back to the house now.”

Callum leaned against the kitchen counter, his head over the sink, bracing his hand on the side, taking deep breaths. He felt his face burning up, slightly dizzy. 

“Who was it?” Callum whispered. 

“Some guy called James, wrong house.”

“Mm.” Callum groaned to himself, trying not to throw up in the kitchen sink. Tyler wouldn’t like it. He didn’t think he could make it to the bathroom either. 

Tyler frowned at Callum, wrapping his arm around Callum’s waist. 

“No, don’t move me!” Callum whined, feeling even worse. 

“I just need to get you upstairs to bed. Sleep will do it.”

Callum nodded, walking with Tyler very slowly, back up the stairs.

“You just feel sick?” Tyler asked. 

“Yeah-ah!” Callum groaned a sharp shooting pain, going straight though him. 

“Callum? Callum?! What’s wrong?” 

Callum ignored him, his hand slipping from Tyler’s, as a wave of nausea hit him. 

Tyler caught Callum in his arms as he fell, passing out. 

~*~

Callum didn’t know what happened but he woke in the middle of the bed, Tyler sitting on the edge stroking his hair slowly. 

Callum smiled weakly at him, closing his eyes again when another wave of nausea washed over him again. 

“How’d you get me in here?” Callum asked, still with his closed. 

“Sort of carried you. You did wake up again, do you not remember?”

Callum shook his head, moaning softly to himself. 

“I managed to get you to the bed before you passed out again.”

“Thanks.” Callum whispered. 

“I’ll take the day off.”

“No! Don’t do that. I’m fine. I’ll just be asleep anyway. You go, you in all day today?”

“Supposed to, I needed to check on something for the day, but I’ll stay here if your ill.”

“Go. I’ll be okay...” 

Callum thought Tyler said something to him again, but his eyes became heavy again as he fell asleep.

~*~

Callum smiled to himself, when he woke again. Tyler was still sitting there, running his hands through Callum’s hair. 

Callum whined to himself when he felt sick again. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked. 

Callum groaned to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. He even sounded like Ben now.

“Not good?” He asked. 

Callum shook his head, opening his eyes. 

“Ben?!”

Callum sat up quickly, moaning again. He thought he was hallucinating or something. Ben was sat on the edge of the bed, next to him??

“Lie back down! Your ill, Cal. Stop stressing.”

“You can’t be here, Ben?! What the hell are you even doing here??” Callum cried anyway, ignoring him.


	43. Chapter 43

“Ben! You can’t just walk in the house!”

Callum pulled the ring off his finger, shoving it under his pillow, out of reach of Ben. 

Ben hooked his hand in Callum’s, squeezing it gently. 

“It’s fine. I saw Tyler go, I just wanted to make sure your okay, Jay said you were ill...”

“Jay?! How does he know? Tyler left?”

Ben nodded, smiling at Callum. 

“You’ve never told me where you live now, so I found out myself. Jay came round this morning, I needed to be sure this was Tyler’s house.”

“James??” Callum raised his eyes, smiling at Ben. 

“First name he could think of.” Ben chuckled. “I wasn’t gonna come today, but Tyler mentioned to Jay, that you weren’t well and I couldn’t just wait til I saw you again...”

“What if Tyler comes back?!”

“I don’t care! You need to get better, not be stressing about what he’s doing every five minutes. That’s probably why your ill, cos your worried all the time!”

“I’m worried cos you don’t understand that Tyler doesn’t like you! You can’t just walk into his house!”

“It’s supposed to both your house, not just his!”

“That’s what I meant...” Callum huffed. He squeezed his eyes shut, moaning to himself again. 

“Are you okay?! Please, just lie back down!”

Callum sighed, doing as he was told, smiling at Ben, stroking his hair away from his eyes when lay down. 

“Tyler should be at work all day, but he’ll be fuming if he finds you here.”

“Well, if it’s all day we should be fine! You are scared of him.”

“I’m not!! I just don’t want him to think you’ve come here because you love me!!”

“I do!”

“Argh! He can’t know that?!”

“I get he’s probably jealous if he knew I loved you, but you can’t be so afraid of him all the time...”

“I’m not! Can we just not talk about this, unless you want me to throw up all over you!”

“Is that a threat?” Ben grinned. 

“Maybe, if you don’t shut up.”

Ben smiled at Callum, grinning at him. 

“Fine, I’ll just sit here with you then.”

Callum opened his mouth to protest, Ben pressing his finger to his lips. 

Ben smiled at Callum, glaring at him, but he didn’t speak anyway, so he took Callum’s hand back in his own. 

“You said he’s at work, so calm down.”

Callum nodded, glancing at Ben’s hand on the side of his face, stroking him gently. 

“It’s just you and me.” He whispered. 

Callum nodded, smiling at Ben. 

“Your so stressed all the time, you just need to rest for a bit.”

“Feel sick...” Callum moaned. 

“I know darlin’. Just try and get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Callum nodded, smiling at Ben.

“Go to sleep...” Ben whispered. 

Callum closed his eyes, still smiling to himself, concentrating on the feel of Ben’s fingers in his hair. 

“Sssh, you’ll be okay.” Ben whispered to him, smiling at Callum, his breathing getting deeper as he fell asleep. 

~*~

Ben was still there, when Callum woke up, not letting go of his hand. 

“So what’s wrong with me, doctor?” Callum smiled to himself, wincing when a pain shot through his stomach. 

“How do you feel, now?”

“Worse if that’s even possible??”

Ben sighed, stroking Callum’s hair back away from his eyes. 

“Stop it, I’m all sweaty!” Callum whined, scrunching his nose up, growing embarrassed. 

Ben smiled at Callum, making sure his hair wasn’t irritating him anyway. 

“I don’t mind. Still think you look beautiful...”

“Even the same as last time you said it? I look terrible right now.” Callum smiled, both remembering when they’d actually slept together. Ben had told Callum he was beautiful then too.

“Yeah. I don’t care if your all sweaty. You are beautiful and if Tyler can’t see that, then he need to open his eyes to what he’s got...”

Callum smiled at Ben, locking their fingers together. 

“Have you not eaten today?” Ben frowned. 

“I didn’t have anything for breakfast...”

“Well it’s not food poisoning then. Why haven’t you eaten anything?!”

“Didn’t feel right this morning.”

“Why didn’t you say anything to Tyler??”

“I did?”

“And he went to work?! He should be here looking after you!”

“I told him to go. I just wanted to be in my own. I want you here though...”

Ben frowned at Callum, his hand shaking in Ben’s hand. 

“Your whole body’s shaking! Are you cold?”

“Pfft, feel like I’m sitting in a sauna!”

“I think you might have fever? I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure a fever is hot and cold at the same time?”

“I just ache all over, my heads banging and keep getting cramps.”

“Do you feel tired still? You slept for three hours.” 

“M-h.” 

“Think you’ve got the flu. I had that once.”

Callum moaned to himself, squeezing Ben’s hand.”Innit contagious?”

“Yeah, but I’m fine. I just want you to get better.”

“Shouldn’t you be leaving me alone if it’s contagious?”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving you, when your like this.”

“You’ll have to sooner or later.”

“I know, I just don’t want you to be hurting too much.”

“I’ll cope.” Callum sighed. 

“Is that what you tell yourself everyday?”

Callum ignored him, keeping his eyes closed. 

“You need rest, you’ll be okay in a few weeks.”

“Weeks!”

“It’s not a cold, Cal! You’ve got the flu! Promise me you’ll rest? I want to help you, but I can’t while your ill...” He wanted Callum out of there as soon as possible but couldn’t if he was too weak. He could barley stay awake let alone keeping him away from Tyler. 

“I feel terrible anyway.”

“I know darlin’. I wish I could do something, but there’s not much I can do.” 

Ben leaned down kissing Callum’s head, lacing his fingers back through Callum’s hair, stroking him gently. 

Callum shuffled over to the other side of the bed, opening the cover, shivering at the loss of heat. 

“What you doin’?!” Ben cried. 

“Will you lie with me? I want you to stay...” Callum smiled. 

“You sure? I don’t want you to be worrying still? Felling guilty or something?”

“Hurry up, I’m getting cold here!”

Ben smiled at Callum, sliding into bed next to him. 

“Do you feel really bad?”

“Just feel the same. Tired, sick, aching.” 

“You are a little too warm.” Callum smiled at Ben, feeling his forehead. 

“M’cold.”

Ben pulled the duvet up to Callum’s neck, as they lay facing each other. 

Ben stroked the side of Callum’s face gently, as Callum smiled at him. 

“You’ll be okay...” Ben whispered. He didn’t know if he meant Tyler or being ill. 

Callum shuffled closer to Ben, resting his head on his chest. 

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum, resting his head on top of Callum’s, slowly stroking his back. 

“I love you.” Ben whispered into his hair. 

Callum smiled, shutting his eyes, letting out small whine when he felt sick again. 

Ben just held him tighter, making sure he felt safe. 

“Just don’t go being sick on me.” Ben smiled. 

“I’ll try not to. Can’t make any promises though...”

“I love you so much, Cal...” He whispered again. “I want to help you...” Referring to Tyler. 

“I know...” Callum whispered squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Let me help you...” He encouraged. 

Callum didn’t say anything for a while, Ben frowning at Callum when he pulled away, searching Ben’s eyes. 

“What is it?”

“You say you want to help me? And you come here just to make sure I’m okay?”

“Yeah?”

“It just makes me know it more...”

“Know what?” Ben frowned, still holding onto the side of Callum’s face, stroking him lightly. 

“I love you...” Callum whispered.


	44. Chapter 44

“You actually mean that?!”

Callum nodded slowly, looking at Ben searching his face. 

“I love you, Ben.” He needed to say it aloud. It was true and he’d been telling himself it wasn’t for so long, not wanting to admit the truth. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” Ben grinned. 

Callum smiled at Ben, Ben pulling Callum to him. 

“I think I always have...” Callum whispered. 

Ben pressed a kiss to Callum’s neck, holding him closer. 

“Why won’t you let me help you?”

“Cos it’s not just that easy, especially now...”

“Now?”

Callum pulled away, pressing the ring into Ben’s hand. 

Ben looked at it, looking back up at Callum just as quickly. 

“He asked you to marry him!”

Callum nodded, sighing at Ben looking so heartbroken. 

“And do you want to?” Ben whispered. 

“Not now, no. But he wants to ‘get it done’ as he put it.”

“That’s because he thinks he owns you! Why can’t you see what he’s doing to you... This is why I don’t want you to be with him, he hurts you and you think it’s okay.”

“He’s not like it all the time...”

“You tell me he did it once, but I know your lying to me. You have that little look in your eye.”

“A look?” Callum smiled. 

“You don’t look me in the eye, cos you don’t like lying to me.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. I just didn’t want you to worry. I know sometimes he gets angry but other times he is nice. Like when I first met him. I didn’t know you liked me them did I?”

“Course I don’t hate you! I never could. He’s controlling you Callum, you’ve got to listen to me, when I tell you. It’s not because I’m jealous, it’s because what he’s doing to you is wrong! And I don’t want you to be hurting anymore.”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. 

“I’m a bad person...”

“Your not Cal!” Ben lifted Callum’s chin up gently, getting him to look at him. “You have the kindest heart of anyone I know. Your are not a bad person. You-“ 

“I lied...” Callum whispered. He was looking at Ben but it was like he was in a trance. “Lied to you. To Tyler. To... myself. I’m bad... really terrible...”

“Your not! You are amazing Cal! I don’t think-“

“Tyler thinks I’m bad...”

“Tyler hurts you! Look at me, Callum. It is wrong what’s he doing to you!”

Callum seemed to snap out of his trance, looking at Ben. 

“It’s not wrong! He just thinks you like me and he was right wasn’t he?! I keep telling him you don’t so...” Callum trailed off, sighing to himself. 

Ben folded his arm underneath his head to hold himself up, looking at Callum. 

“Finish what you were going to say...” He whispered. 

Callum closed his eyes, knowing Ben was right. 

“I tell him you don’t like me cos...”

Ben nodded, squeezing Callum’s hand. If he could get Callum to admit it to himself, maybe he could help him. 

“Cos I don’t want him to hurt me...” Callum whispered. 

“See? Your afraid of him, Cal...”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, still shaking his head, Ben pulling him back to his chest as Callum sobbed to himself refusing that Ben was right. 

“I’m sorry...” Ben whispered. 

Ben hushed him, not letting go off him, Callum desperately trying not to cry. 

“I only get...” Callum trailed off, not wanting to say it aloud, going quiet again. 

“Scared?”

Callum pulled away, looking at Ben but not saying anything, Ben shrugging, both of them knowing Ben was right. 

“He’s not like it all the time and I thought if I could stop him hurting you, then it’d be worth it...”

Callum looked at Ben, going pale. 

“You let him hurt you, so he couldn’t get to me?!”

Callum nodded slowly, Ben reaching across wiping a tear from Callum’s cheek. 

“I slept with you, Ben. And I’m not saying I regret it, cos I don’t, but it makes me feel so guilty cos I’m with Tyler and I cheated on him. I let...”

“Please don’t tell me what I think your gonna say...”

Callum looked at Ben, shrugging the slightest amount. 

“I let him hurt me, cos it was better than him hurting you... and I felt like this was the only way to keep you safe...”

Ben pulled Callum back to him, sobbing into his chest again. 

“You didn’t need to keep me safe, Cal... I can look after myself. I’m so sorry you think this is the only way. I just want to keep you safe...”

“I know...” Callum whined, wrapping his arms around Ben, hugging him tightly. 

Ben held onto Callum, until his tears subsided, sniffling to himself. 

“Sssh, I’m gonna help you, I swear.” Ben kissed Callum’s hair, stroking down his back, trying to calm him down. 

“How can I, Ben! He’ll know if I leave him, It’s cos I wanna be with you?! And then he’ll hurt you!”

“I won’t let him get anywhere near you. I promise I’m gonna protect you with my life...”

They lay in silence for a while, Ben stroking Callum’s hair, pressing small kisses to his head. 

~*~

Callum scrambled off Ben, untangling their legs, when he heard the front door slam, throwing the cover off them both. 

“Ben, you need to go!! The door!”

Callum always slept lightly nowadays, incase Tyler tried anything, looking at Ben still fast asleep, holding his hand. 

“Ben!” Callum hissed. “You’ve got to go somewhere else!”

“What...” He whispered sleepily. 

“Tyler’s here!!” Callum whispered urgently.


	45. Chapter 45

“Tyler has just come in!” Callum hissed. 

Ben snapped awake quickly, jumping out of bed.

“I didn’t realise I’d stayed this long!!”

“You’ve been here all day! Three doors to the right, he hardly goes in there, it’s a spare room. Stay in there and don’t come out until you can get downstairs without him knowing your here. I’ll keep him in here.”

“I can’t leave you with him!”

Ben pressed a kiss to the top of Callum’s head, walking backward away from him anyway.

“Go! Quickly. And don’t you dare come out so Tyler can see you! I need to do this my way.”

Ben nodded, going the way Callum told him, shutting the door quietly. He’d only just managed to get in there without Tyler spotting him. 

“Miss me?” 

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, even hearing Tyler’s voice, made him angry. 

“Course.”

Ben pressed his back against the door, curling his hand into a fist, trying his hardest not to go in there right now. 

If he wanted Callum out here, he needed to go at Callum’s pace or risk pushing him back to Tyler again. He was starting to accept what Tyler was doing to him, Ben just needed to keep working on Callum to get him help. 

Tyler sat on the bed next to Callum, with his back to the door. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess...” Callum glanced at the door, not seeing Ben walk by yet. 

“Not any better then?”

“A bit. Don’t feel sick anymore!” Callum smiled. 

“I’ll go get you some fresh water.”

Callum quickly held into Tyler’s shoulders, keeping him where he was. 

“No!” 

Tyler frowned at him, Callum looking to the door, where Ben was now standing. 

“I just mean, I haven’t seen you all day, thought you could just stay here for a bit?” Callum tried, pulling Tyler to him. 

Callum shook his head at Ben urgently, walking towards them both. He couldn’t just leave Callum with Tyler. 

“Please.” Callum mouthed to Ben. 

Ben shook his head at Callum taking another step into the room. 

Callum wrapped his arms around Tyler a little tighter, so he couldn’t turn around quick enough to see Ben. 

Callum brought his hand up, showing Ben the back of his hand, shrugging, his eyes pleading with Ben. 

Ben frowned, confused for a moment, before he saw Callum had kept the ring off. 

He needed to do this on his own. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get you anything?” Tyler asked pressing a kiss to Callum’s neck. 

Ben glared at him, Callum shaking his head at Ben again. He couldn’t keep Tyler like this forever. 

“No?” Tyler asked, feeling Callum shake his head. Callum frowned then realised Tyler thought he was shaking his head at him. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m okay here with you.”

Callum wondered why Tyler couldn’t be like this all the time.  
This is why he stayed because Tyler did look after him. Callum didn’t like the person Tyler was when he mentioned Ben or had drank too much. 

“Okay, if your sure. I just don’t want you to feel ill anymore...”

“I just want you to lie here for a bit. I’ll get better in my own time.” Callum whispered, looking at Ben. 

Ben sighed, knowing that last sentence was meant for him. 

“You’ll be back to normal in no time.” Tyler smiled. 

“Go!” Callum mouthed again. 

Ben nodded, backing away slowly. 

Callum shuffled closer to Tyler, wrapping his arms around him tighter, keeping Tyler as close as possible. 

“Yeah...” Callum whispered. Normal for Tyler, was hurting him again. He hadn’t touched him once since Callum had been ill. 

Callum closed his eyes, waiting for a few minutes, when Ben had gone, pulling away from Tyler. Ben must have gone by now. 

“Are you still tired?” Tyler asked. 

Callum nodded slowly. He’d barely been to sleep all day, lying with Ben, just talking to each other. It was nice not worrying all the time. 

They’d both only fell asleep together, for a while before Tyler had come back. 

“Go to sleep...” Tyler whispered, stroking Callum’s hair. 

“Are you staying?”

“For a bit.” Tyler smiled. 

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep, hoping Ben had managed to get home. 

~*~

Ben stood outside the front door, not wanting to leave. He couldn’t just leave Callum with Tyler again. He had his hand on the door handle to go back inside and fetch Callum. Ben wouldn’t let Tyler touch Callum anyway, but Callum insisted he wanted to do it his way. 

“Argh! What am I doing?!” 

Ben groaned, his head telling him to turn around and go home. His heart telling him to stay and protect Callum. 

~*~

Tyler frowned at Callum, holding his hand, noticing he’d not got his ring on again. 

He dropped it, watching Callum sigh to himself in his sleep. 

“What is it you don’t with me...” He whispered. 

Tyler spotted it on the side, lying on top of a photo. The same photo he’d found before. 

He glared at the picture, Callum with Ben and Lucy? Leah? Lexi? Lexi. That was it. 

He looked back at Callum, still fast asleep. 

“It’s always been him with you, hasn’t it? Can’t stay away from him can you? What does he do that I can’t give you?”

He turned the photo over seeing only a few words, written in long, curled hand writing. 

I love you. B x

Tyler scrunched the photo up, looking at the engagement ring. 

“No wonder you don’t want me.”

He pulled either side of the photo, ripping it straight down the middle, holding both of the picture. 

He looked at the ring, curling his around it tightly, returning his gaze back to Callum. 

“You want him...” Tyler spat.


	46. Chapter 46

Callum dragged himself out of bed, heading downstairs slowly. 

“How you feeling, you’ve only been asleep for about half an hour?” Tyler smiled.

“Better.”

“Good.” Tyler said flatly. 

“Are you okay? You seem...”

Callum frowned at Tyler standing in the middle of the living room, watching Callum. He seemed annoyed for some reason, trying to work out why this time. 

“Seem what, Callum?”

“Erm, dunno, like there’s something on your mind...”

“Maybe there is.” 

Callum watched Tyler sit down on the sofa, holding something in his hand. 

“Do you wanna tell me?” Callum frowned. 

“Come here and sit down.”

“I’m okay here...” Callum whispered. Safe on the other side of the sofa. 

“Sit. Down, Callum!”

Callum walked over slowly to the sofa, sitting down in the opposite side of the sofa to Tyler. 

“Are you in love with him?” Tyler asked, closing his eyes, waiting for Callum to answer him. 

“Who?” 

“You know damn well WHO, Callum!”

“No!”

“Your in love with Ben!!!”

“I’m not!” Callum tried. 

“Does he love you?”

Callum shook his head quickly. He was just glad that Ben had gone before Tyler found him. 

“Well this says otherwise.” Tyler hissed. 

“What?”

Tyler held his fist out for Callum, flinching at Tyler’s hand so close to him. 

Callum opened his hand slowly waiting for Tyler to give it to him. 

“Just read it. You know what it says anyway. You’ve practically been carrying it around with you everywhere.”

“What? I don’t know what your on about?”

“Don’t try and pretend you don’t know what!”

“I’m not...”

Callum took what Tyler was holding from him, unfolding it, from where Tyler had scrunched it up. 

Tyler watched Callum go pale, seeing the photo ripped into two. 

“I’ve already told you about this, Ty... it was before I met you...”

“The back! Turn it around!”

Callum did as he was told, placing the two pieces together, closing his eyes. 

‘I love you. B x’

Why’d Ben go and do that for? How was Callum supposed to talk his way out of this one?

“I have no idea when Ben wrote that, but I didn’t know he had...” Callum tried, knowing it was useless anyway. 

“Why are you telling lie after lie?”

“I swear I didn’t know that was there!”

“Don’t lie to me, again, Callum!”

“I’m not!”

Callum didn’t even know Ben had written it. It wasn’t there the last time he’d seen it. 

Tyler grabbed Callum’s chin yanking his face to the left forcing him to look at him. 

“Why do you love him and not me?!”

Callum whined as Tyler held on even tighter. 

“I don’t!”

That seemed to make Tyler even more annoyed, not saying what he wanted to hear the first time, gripping on that little bit harder. 

“I love you, Ty...”

“But Ben loves YOU?!”

Callum didn’t say anything, knowing there was no point in trying to reason with him. Ben had written it himself. Callum wouldn’t be able to convince Tyler now. 

“Why can’t he get it into his thick head that your with me?!”

Callum glared at Tyler, snapping his head away from him. 

“I know! You tell me everyday I belong to you!”

Tyler gripped onto Callum’s jaw, tighter this time, keeping his hold not matter how much Callum strained in his grip. 

“And you need to understand that you are mine!”

“I do!”

“Ben doesn’t understand that does he?!”

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it?! I can’t help it can I?! I didn’t ask him to love-“

“No!” Tyler cut Callum off before he could finish the sentence. “Just... be quiet...” He whispered. 

Callum remained silent, knowing not to push him when he used that voice. It was always too calm, too cold. 

“He needs to learn...” Tyler whispered himself. 

Tyler pushed Callum’s face away from him, standing up, Callum following. 

“You can stay there!” Tyler hissed. He pushed Callum’s shoulders back down, forcing him to sit back down on the sofa.

“What are you gonna do to him?!” Callum sobbed, still gripping onto either side of the photo. 

Tyler spun around, squinting at Callum, like he was working something out, a smile spreading across his face. 

“Let’s just say something that will really crush his heart.”

“Please don’t hurt him...” Callum whispered. 

“Arr, poor devoted Callum trying to protect his precious boyfriend!”

“He’s not my boyfriend...”

“Course you want him to be! You have all along!”

“It wasn’t like that?!”

“So you do love him!”

“No! I didn’t ask him love me!” He would always deny it if it stopped Tyler from hurting Ben too. 

Tyler closed his eyes, turning away from Callum. 

“I told you not to say that...”

“What are you gonna do?!” Callum tried again. 

“I’m not gonna do anything.” Tyler smiled. 

Callum looked up frowning at him. 

“YOUR gonna hurt him.” Tyler told him. 

“How am I supposed to do that?! I’m not gonna touch him!”

“Your gonna hurt him where it’ll hurt him most.”

“I won’t do it!” 

Tyler took one large step, towards Callum, gripping onto his face harder, dragging him up from the chair, bringing him close. 

“Your not going to touch him. I don’t want you anywhere near him. Your going to destroy the one thing he loves more than his life.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”

“Yes you do!! Because YOU are the one thing that will really hurt. You are going to go to him and your going to break his heart.”

Callum whined, squeezing his eyes shut, but Tyler pulled his head up to look at him again. 

“I can’t...” Callum struggled to breathe, trying to calm down. 

“You can’t or you wont!”

“I don’t know how?!”

“You are going to tell him something that will make sure to break to his heart, and then you are going to come home to me.”

“What are you gonna do to me?”   
Callum choked out. 

“That’s for me to know and you to wonder.” 

“I’m sure you can think of something to break Ben’s heart. Get him out of your life, then maybe you’ll start paying attention to me. Your the clever one, Callum, spinning me lies all the time! So you will come up with something. It’s your fault all this is happening, so you can sort your own mess.”

Callum nodded, Tyler pushing his face away. 

“Your pretty head comes up with all these lies. What’s one more gonna do, eh? You are mine, Callum. Not Ben’s. MINE! You understand that?!”

Callum nodded unable to look at him. 

“I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!! 

Callum whined a response, Tyler   
gripping onto his face again. 

“Tell me what the plan is Callum...”

“Break his heart...”

“And?”

“Come to you.” Callum nodded. 

“What was that?”

“To you...”

“What. Was. That?”

“I don’t know!!” Callum whined. 

“Come HOME to me.” 

Callum sniffed not looking away from Tyler. 

“Come home... to you...” He nodded. 

“Good.” He let go of Callum groaning at his hand. “Now I’ve got your tears on me!” He looked back up at Callum, shaking. 

“You know exactly what your gonna do?”

Callum nodded slowly. He knew there was only one way to truly break Ben’s heart and it was killing him already.


	47. Chapter 47

Callum stood in the bedroom, pressing his back against the door, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Why’d you go and do that, Ben!” He moaned, sliding down the door, sobbing to himself. 

Callum brought the photo up, piecing them together, reading the words over and over again, tracing his finger over the long curls of Ben’s handwriting. 

He didn’t even know when Ben had written it. 

“Callum?!”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, drying his eyes, hearing Tyler’s voice. 

“I’m coming!”

Callum looked up at the photo, turning it around looking at the writing again. 

“I’m so sorry, Ben...” He whispered. 

~*~

They both stood outside Ben’s house, Callum not sure whether he should just go in. Waiting for Tyler to tell him. 

“What exactly am I supposed to be doing...” Callum whispered. 

Tyler looked at Callum, holding onto his arms. 

Callum glanced at them on him, but Tyler just kept them there gently, not gripping onto him, just lightly. 

Callum looked back up at Tyler, looking back at Callum. 

“I’m not doing this to be horrible, Callum... I just want you to be happy. And if Ben keeps confusing you and stressing you out, then I really don’t think he should be your friend anymore...”

Callum nodded, not daring to look away from Tyler. 

“Just tell him you don’t want to be his friend anymore.” Tyler smiled. “I’m sure he’ll understand, if it’s what you want.”

Callum didn’t want to do it. He wanted to keep Ben as close as possible. 

Tyler opened the back kitchen door, nodding inside for Callum to go in. 

“Go on.”

Callum took a deep breath letting it out slowly. 

“Ben?!” He called. 

“I’ll be out here, in the car.” 

Tyler shut the door, Callum holding in his sob. 

Callum walked slowly into the living room, squeezing his eyes shut, hearing Ben coming down the stairs. 

“Hey!” Ben grinned wrapping his arms around Callum. “He’s not hurt you again has he?” Ben pulled away, his eyes scanning over Callum, checking anyway. 

“No...” Callum buried his nose in Ben’s hair one last time, breathing him in. 

“Cos I know you want to do this your way, but I just want you outta there as fast as possible. You know I love you, I just don’t want you to be hurting anymore...”

Callum breathed him in once more, before pushing himself away. 

“What you doin’?” Ben smiled. 

“I don’t want to this anymore...”

“Do what?” Ben frowned.

“Keep seeing you.”

Ben’s face dropped scanning Callum’s face. 

“What you on about, Callum? We’ve not exactly been having an affair have we?! I slept with you ONCE like months ago!”

“And the kisses, you in bed with me at Tyler’s??”

“Come on, Cal! Technically we’d didn’t do anything wrong, we just lay there!”

“It was everything wrong! You shouldn’t have been there!”

“Please, Cal...”

“I don’t want to do it anymore!”

“Why...”

“You heard.” Callum whispered. 

Ben lifted Callum’s chin up with his hand gently. 

“What’s wrong?!”

Callum snapped his head away, Ben dropping his hand, like he’d just burnt him. 

“This is Tyler isn’t it?” Ben nodded, knowing Callum wouldn’t do this to him. 

“No! This is me, Ben!!”

“No! No it’s not, Callum! And I know it. Don’t lie to me!”

Callum flinched, backing away, Ben sounding exactly like Tyler. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to shout. It’s just not you, Cal! You saying this...”

“I don’t love you, Ben...”

“You don’t mean that...” Ben searched Callum’s eyes, looking so dull, none of his usual sparkle, any happiness. Tyler had done that to him. Gone. All of it, no longer with Callum, replaced with fear and need to protect himself. 

“Yes! Yes I do...” Callum shrugged, refusing to look at Ben. 

“Please don’t tell me something when we both know it’s not true...”

“It is true, Ben! I don’t want you!!” He shouted. 

Ben flinched taking a step away from Callum. 

“What is wrong with you...” Ben choked out. 

“I’m with Tyler. I want him, I love him and I’m gonna marry him...”

“You don’t want to do this!” 

Ben crossed the room, holding onto the tops of Callum’s arms. 

“This isn’t you... you said! You said you weren’t ready to marry him!!” 

Callum still wouldn’t look at him. If he looked at Ben. It would break his heart too and he couldn’t afford to have his heart broken. He needed to keep it safe. 

“This is me being real, Ben. I love Tyler. I want to be with him.”

Ben shook his head at Callum walking backwards away from him. 

“It’s like your possessed... He’s done this to you!” 

“He hasn’t done anything! I’m waking up, Ben! To what is real life! Yeah, we argue, things sometimes get out of hand, but we’re good! He treats me right, looks after me.”

“He doesn’t treat you right. He’s in your head, Cal!! You’ve got to understand that’s he’s abusing you! Manipulating you, into thinking this is all normal! It isn’t! 

“He’ll change. When he knows your not gonna take me away...”

“He never will! He’s a liar and he’s using you! I’m never gonna take you away, you need to leave now, before he does something really bad?! Before he tries to kill you or something?!”

“He loves me?”

“Is that a question or what know isn’t true?? You think he does, but he doesn’t Callum! He tells you what you want to hear. You need to see what he’s been doing to you! He’s been manipulating you!” Ben cried. 

Callum whined to himself, squeezing his eyes shut, shrinking away from Ben. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” Ben walked forward slowly, Callum watching him the whole way, wrapping his arms around Callum, flinching at his touch. “I’m sorry, I shouted. I just need you to see what’s happening?”

Callum leaned into Ben for a while longer before pulling away again. 

“Why don’t you hate me?!” Callum cried. It wasn’t working. He was supposed to make Ben hate him. Go back to Tyler. 

“Because I love you, Callum! And I know this isn’t you!”

Ben closed the gap again, rubbing his hands down Callum’s arms. 

“You can’t touch me! Your not supposed to! Tyler...” There was no point in pretending anymore, Ben didn’t believe him anyway. 

“It’s fine. He’s not here...”

Callum shook his head, looking at Ben frantically. 

“Where is he?” Ben asked. 

“Outside... In the car, waiting for me to talk to you...”

“Your gonna be okay.” Ben nodded. 

“I’m not! Your not!! We’re not...” He whispered. 

“Yes, you are! Just come ‘ere.” 

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum, feeling him relax slightly this time. 

“I’m gonna make sure your okay...” Ben whispered, pressing a kiss to Callum’s shoulder. “I promise.”

“Don’t promise me that!” Callum moaned. “You don’t know it!”

Ben walked with him to the sofa, sitting them both down.

“Callum, look at me.” He held Callum’s face in his hands, trying to get him to look at him. “Cal! Just look at me. Please.”

Callum looked up at Ben, stroking his thumbs across his cheeks lightly. It was different to Tyler. He could move his head if wanted to now. Ben wasn’t keeping him there, just trying to look after him. It was soft and gentle, like Ben always was. The opposite of who Tyler was. 

“I’m gonna help you...” Ben nodded, pulling Callum’s head to him. 

Callum breathed in Ben’s scent, knowing he was safe, giving into him as he sobbed into Ben, instead of trying to get away again. 

“Why aren’t I good enough, Ben!” He whined. 

“You are! You are good enough, Cal...” Ben whispered. “He’s not good enough for you...”

Callum looked up at Ben, his head still in Ben’s hands, offering Callum a smile. “You are good enough...” Ben said again. 

“I always do something wrong...”

“You don’t. Tyler’s always gonna find something that he thinks is wrong. But you are amazing, Cal, and I can’t lose you, because he wants you too? You need to do what you want to do, not what he’s telling you.”

Callum looked at Ben, trying to slow his breathing down, his head screaming at him to get Ben’s hands off his face, stop him touching him. It was what he was supposed to do. 

“Do you want to stop talking to me, seeing me? Or knowing me anymore?” Ben asked. 

“Tyler’s gonna hurt you, if I don’t!”

“Is that what your scared of? Cos if it’s me, I promise I’ll be okay too. I just want you to be okay. That’s all that matters. Don’t worry about me. Is it what you want though?”

Callum shook his head slowly, his eyes flicking over Ben’s face. He needed Ben, he couldn’t lose him either. 

“Well then.” Ben smiled. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to. And I don’t care what Tyler wants. I just want to make sure your okay.”

Ben sighed, watching Callum shaking his head quickly in his hands again. Even the mention of Tyler sent Callum into a panic. He didn’t know why Callum still wanted to stay with him. Tyler had damaged Callum so much, he thought all of this was normal. 

“It wasn’t supposed to go like this! You can’t still love me!”

“Listen to me, Cal.” 

Callum shook his head, but didn’t pull away from Ben’s hands. 

“Listen...” Ben whispered. 

Callum focused on Ben’s eyes, nodding at Callum, letting him know he was okay. 

“We’re gonna get you out of this, okay? I’m gonna help you. Because, yes I still love you, I always will and I can’t see you hurting like this anymore. I am going to help you.”

“You can’t!”

“I can. I’m gonna make sure you away from him.”

Ben sighed, Callum still shaking his head at him. 

“Trust me...” Ben whispered. 

Ben wiped away each of Callum’s tears as they fell, terrified of everything nowadays. 

“I’ll protect you, like I should have done from the start. Look after you, make sure your safe.”

“You already do...” Callum whispered. 

Ben nodded, smiling at Callum. “Well, I’ll keep keeping you safe, cos that’s all I want. For you to be safe and happy.”

“He made me lie to you. Tell you, I didn’t love you...”

“It’s okay-“

“I’m so sorry, Ben!” Callum choked out his sobs, melting into Ben. 

Ben held onto him, as Callum cried into him, breaking down in Ben’s arms. 

“I knew that wasn’t you, it’s not your fault...” 

Ben pulled Callum’s head to his chest wincing at the pain in his side from the last time Tyler had hurt him. 

“I’m so sorry, Cal. For everything he’s done to you. But you’ve got to understand what he’s doing to you is wrong. He’s inside your head, changing what you think is normal, when it’s not. He’s been abusing you, Callum...”

Ben held onto Callum, crying fully into him now. Finally realising what Tyler was doing to him. 

“I’m sorry....” Ben whispered kissing Callum’s hair over and over again. 

Callum whined into Ben, Ben squeezing his eyes shut, rocking them both.

“I don’t wanna be with him anymore, Ben!! I can’t keep doing it anymore!” He moaned, choking out his sobs into Ben’s neck. 

“Sssh, I know...” Ben whispered, still kissing his hair, stroking the back of his neck. 

Callum whimpered to himself, clutching onto Ben. 

“I’m gonna help you, okay? I swear. We’re gonna do this now.”

“Now! I can’t!” Callum lifted his head up quickly, Ben stroking his hair out of his eyes, keeping his hand on the side of his face. 

“Yes, you can.” Ben held both of of his hands instead, nodding at Callum. “You can.” Ben whispered. 

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!”

“We’re gonna do it together. Cos I’m not gonna let you hurt anymore.”

“I don’t know how?!”

“I’m gonna help you.” Ben held onto the sides of Callum’s face, getting him to look at him. “I’m gonna be here with you. And we’re gonna do it now, okay?”

Callum nodded slowly, looking back at Ben, slowly stroking his face with his thumb. 

“Right now?” Callum whispered. 

“Yes, I want you as far away from Tyler as possible. I should have done this a long time ago.”

“You didn’t have to. You’ve already helped me so much...”

Callum pressed their mouths together, sighing at feeling Ben’s lips against his own again. He not dared to kiss him, incase Tyler found out. Even when Ben was lying with him in bed, he never kissed him. They just lay together, wrapped around each other instead. It felt normal?

“I love you...” Callum whispered against Ben’s lips. 

Ben smiled, kissing him back, feeling Callum relax under his touch. Callum shuffled closer pressing himself against Ben, trying to feel all of himself against Ben’s body. His safe place. Home. 

Callum brought his hands up to Ben’s face this time, pulling him closer, pressing open-mouthed kisses over and over again onto Ben’s mouth, feeling their tongues slipping against each others. 

It felt the same as last time, needing more, craving Ben’s warmth, his touch, his taste, the way he felt, even the smell of him. Callum carried on kissing Ben urgently, the only thing that felt right in so long. 

Ben reluctantly pulled away, Callum leaning into his hand on his face again. 

“We need to do this now, Cal...”

Ben brought his other hand up, stroking Callum’s hair away from his eyes, watching Callum nod slowly, pressing another kiss to his lips. 

“Later.” Ben smiled. 

Callum nodded, but his eyes still flicked over Ben’s face. Like they always did, incase he never saw him again. Incase they’re wouldn’t be ‘a later’. Memorising him just incase. 

“Now?” Ben made sure. He still wanted to do this, making sure Callum was okay with it all. 

“Now...” Callum nodded, both of them looking back at each other. Their eyes grounding each other.


	48. Chapter 48

Callum looked at Ben, needing to kiss him again. He’d had so many opportunities to kiss him and he was always to scared to, but now he just wanted to again and again. 

He’d never realised how much he really needed Ben, how much he loved him, even before he’d met Tyler. Callum didn’t think he could ever not live without Ben, even when they were just friends. 

“I need you to do exactly what I say, okay? Only as long as your okay with it, cos I don’t want you feel like I’m being like Tyler.”

Ben stopped talking, noticing Callum was staring at his mouth. 

Callum looked up at Ben, realising he’d stop speaking. 

“Sorry... What were you saying?”

Ben smiled at Callum, stroking the side of his face. 

“I know I’ve been so bad to you for months, I just want you to know that I do love you. I can’t let Tyler hurt you either.”

“I know. You’ve not been bad either. I know none of it was you.”

“I meant ignoring you or not seeing you for weeks.”

“Why did he decide he wanted you to stop seeing me now anyway? Why not before?”

“Cos he found the photo...” 

Callum pulled it out of his pocket, giving it to Ben. 

Ben took his hand from Callum’s face, sighing at it ripped in half. 

“He did that?” Ben asked, glancing up at Callum. 

Callum nodded, turning it around in Ben’s hands, nodding to the words he’d written. 

“Why’d you write it there for?! Tyler went crazy!”

Callum looked back at it, frayed around edges where he’d had opened it so many times. It was the only thing that kept him going when Ben wasn’t with him. 

“You said you always hide it! I just thought it might keep you going...”

“I left it on the side, when I was getting you outta bed! Tyler must have found it when I was asleep! When did you write it? I was telling him I didn’t know it was there, but he wouldn’t believe me...”

“Before we both went to sleep. You went to sleep first, thought you might find it when I’d gone, but he found it first. I’m sorry.” Ben winced. “I’ve made him hurt you again...”

“You haven’t, Ben!” Callum held onto Ben’s arms rubbing down them gently. “None of this is your fault, Ben. None of it.”

“Did he hurt you though...”

“Not really...”

Ben sighed, pressing a light kiss to Callum’s lips. 

“I want to help you...” 

“I know you do. But I can’t let him hurt you. I can’t...”

“Stop worrying about me.” Ben smiled. “I just want you to be safe...”

“He’s not always like that...”

Ben sighed, holding onto the sides of Callum’s face. 

“You’ve got to understand that everything he’s done to you was wrong...” Ben whispered. 

“I just want to be with you...”

“I know you do and so do I, but you know that’s not the only reason I want you away from Tyler... He’s been manipulating you, Cal...”

“He hurts sometimes, yeah? But-“

“There are no buts, Cal! Come on, please, you trust me don’t you?”

Callum nodded quickly, Ben still stroking his thumbs across his cheeks. 

“Tyler hurting you all the time is wrong, you’ve got to understand that. Please believe me, when I keep telling you this and I will until you believe me, it isn’t normal life!”

Callum didn’t say anything, trying to focus on Ben instead of admitting the truth to himself. 

“You know it’s true...” Ben whispered. “Have I ever touched you like that? Hurt you, hit you?”

Callum shook his head quickly, frowning at Ben. “Course not!”

Ben nodded, trying to get through to him. 

“See? You know it’s wrong...”

“But that’s just ridiculous! You’d never hurt me!”

“Precisely! You see what I’m trying to say? Why do you think it’s okay for Tyler to hurt you but not anyone else?”

“I don’t...”

“Yes you do. You let him hurt you. It’s abuse, Cal...” Ben nodded, wiping away Callum’s tears.   
“He’s changed you and you think it’s normal. It isn’t real life, Cal? Please believe me...”

Callum buried his head in Ben’s neck, sobbing to himself. 

Ben closed his eyes, lacing his hand through Callum’s hair, holding his head to him. 

“I’m so sorry, Cal...”

“Not your fault is it.” Callum sniffed. 

“It’s my fault your going through all of this...” He whispered. 

Callum pulled away, frowning at Ben, holding the side of his face, Ben leaning into his hand. 

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Ben. None of this is your fault.” Callum dried his eyes quickly, trying to get Ben to listen to him this time. 

“I took you to that club. If I hadn’t taken you, you wouldn’t have met Tyler...”

“I’m never gonna blame you cos you took me to a club! We didn’t know I was gonna meet him. If I’d have known you loved me then...”

Ben looked up at Callum, searching his face. 

“What?? Are you saying you loved me then?!”

“I already said, I think I always have loved you, I just never realised how much until now. I just thought you were my best friend.”

“You still are.” Ben smiled. 

“Please don’t blame yourself, Ben.”

“I was gonna tell you I loved you that night...”

“You were? Oh my god, that’s when you wanted to tell me something and I left!”

“Thought you just thought of me as your friend and I didn’t want to ruin what we had, so I just never said anything. And then you got with Tyler and you looked happy. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.”

Callum pulled Ben to him, both of them clinging to each other not wanting to let go. 

“I’m sorry...” Callum whispered. 

“Don’t be. I said that night you were annoying cos you were ignoring me. You still are annoying.” Ben smiled. 

“And your not?!” Callum pulled away, both of them smiling at each other. 

“Maybe just a little bit...”

“I still want to do this my way though, I owe him that.” Callum told him. 

“You don’t owe him anything?!”

“I’m supposed to be engaged to him, Ben. If I just told him, I don’t wanna be with him anymore, I really don’t think he’d hurt me because of that.”

“You kidding?! He’s gonna be fuming! I’m not leaving you alone with him!”

“Ten minutes?”

“No! He’ll do something really bad?!”

“Please?”

Ben looked at Callum, waiting for him. He didn’t want to force Callum into what he wanted. Callum wanted to do it this way. 

“Argh! Fine! Then I’m coming straight back! I am not letting you get hurt again!”

Callum nodded, picking his phone up, showing Ben, it had be buzzing the whole while they’d been talking.

“I don’t know why you think he’s normal??” Ben frowned. 

‘Where are you?’

‘Is he even there?’

‘Callum??’

‘What’s taking you so long??’

“He worries...” 

Ben took Callum’s phone from him, typing a message out. 

“What you doin’?!” 

Ben glanced at Callum looking terrified. 

“This.” 

He turned it back around, giving it back to Callum, reading it before looking back up at Ben. 

‘Come to the house, I need to speak to you. Ben’s gone out.’

“He’s not gonna buy that?! This is just ridiculous, Ben! Like your just gonna go out and leave me here! Especially after what Tyler wanted me to do.”

Ben held Callum’s face in his hands, starting to panic again. 

“Calm down...” He soothed. Callum looked at Ben, his eyes always keeping him calm. “It doesn’t matter if it gets him here. Ten minutes. I am not leaving you any longer with him.”

Callum nodded slowly, focusing on Ben. 

“What am I supposed to say?” Callum whispered. “That I’m in love with another man?! He’ll know it’s you?! He’ll hurt you?!”

“He won’t. I’ve told you not to worry about me, I can look after myself. Just tell him you don’t want to be with him anymore. I promise I’ll come back in ten minutes.”

“Thank you, for letting me do this, this way. I don’t want anyone to be hurting.”

Ben knew Callum wouldn’t just stop caring about Tyler. He’d been with him for so long. 

He knew Tyler was still in Callum’s head. Ben just needed to keep trying until Callum accepted it. He still didn’t think Callum knew properly what Tyler was doing to him, just that Callum wanted to be with him instead. 

If it was up to Ben, he’d had already punched Tyler’s lights out by now, but knew it’s not what Callum would want. He needed to do it Callum’s way, he was already so fragile and damaged. 

“I know. Your a good person.” Ben smiled. 

“I don’t feel it...” 

“You are.” Ben pressed a kiss to Callum’s lips, Callum leaning forward and kissing Ben back harder again. It always felt different when Ben kissed him, he needed more.

“We haven’t got time.” Ben smiled. They both looked up at the kitchen door opening. 

“Go! I’ll see you later. I just want to let him down gently.”

Ben nodded, still annoyed that Callum wanted to protect Tyler after all he’d done. 

“Ten minutes.” Ben told him. “And if he doesn’t leave then I’m doing it my way...”


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has so many warnings and triggers, but this whole fic has! I’m sorry to anyone who feels uncomfortable but I need to get this message of abuse across! Please, please don’t read it if this will hurt you in any way! 
> 
> I’m sorry for any mistakes, I’ve tried to get this out before today actually ends for you all! Xx

Callum paced the room, waiting for Tyler to come into the living room. 

Tell him you don’t want to be him anymore. He kept telling himself over and over again. 

He already regretted his decision to tell Ben to go while he spoke to Tyler. Callum needed him here with him.

“Is it done?” Tyler asked, searching Callum’s face. 

He never realised how afraid of Tyler he was, until Ben really told him. He’d never felt afraid of Ben. 

“What?” He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, looking up at Tyler. 

“That why he left? Did he just walk out?”

“No. He’s gone so I can talk to you.”

“What’s wrong with you? You said you wanted to speak to me? Go on then. Can’t we just go home?”

“I don’t want to.” Callum whispered. This was harder than he thought it would be. He wouldn’t have a home after this, no longer living in his flat.

“Well, where do you wanna go then??”

Tyler frowned at Callum, walking towards him only for Callum to take a step back. 

“I wanna stay here...”

“I don’t think Ben’s gonna be pleased when he comes back and your still here?”

“I want to stay with Ben...”

“What?! You do love him don’t you?! Has he made you try and leave me?!”

“He hasn’t made me! He’s never made me do anything!”

“And I do?!”

Callum flinched at Tyler shouting at him, taking another step back. 

“I don’t want to be with you anymore Ty...”

“Are you trying to leave me?!”

“I’m not trying... I am.”

“What?!” He strode across the room gripping onto Callum’s shoulders, pushing him across the room. “This is Ben isn’t it? He’s in your head?! Trying to take you away from me!”

“See? This is why I don’t want to be with you anymore!” Callum moaned. 

Tyler stopped, still digging his fingers into Callum’s arms. 

“Because of what?”

“YOU! Hurting me! I can’t live like this anymore!”

“Why are you saying all of this?!”

“Because it’s true! I say or do the wrong thing and you hurt me!”

“No I don’t!”

Tyler let go of Callum, immediately stepping away from him, rubbing his arms. 

“Yes you do, Tyler. You don’t even realise, how much it hurts.”

“You can just... leave me?”

“I’m not gonna live like this anymore...”

“I’ll change.” He said flatly. 

“But you won’t! You’ve said that to me before and I stayed and tried but you do it again!”

“Why are saying all this??”

“I’m afraid of you!” Callum cried. He needed to say it to him. Tell him how he truly felt. 

“Afraid of me??”

“I’m scared everyday of what your gonna do next, that you might kill me one day! But I still stayed! Because I thought you loved me.”

“I do!”

“Not really, not how I want you to...”

“How am I supposed to be who you want if you won’t tell me? Just tell me Callum?? You love Ben and you’ve been keeping it a secret all this time! It’s not me is it? It’s just cos you want him! Have you ever slept with him behind my back??!!”

“This isn’t about Ben!! This is about you and me! But we can’t do this anymore, I can’t do this anymore.” Callum whispered. He couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, not sure whether he’d see Tyler looking sad or angry. How could he even admit he’d slept with Ben, when Tyler was already annoyed?

“You can’t just leave me?” Tyler repeated. 

“How many times have you said your sorry and I’ve forgiven you! That’s because I believed you. Yet you still do it, you’ll do it again.” 

Tyler glared at Callum, shoving him against the wall.

“This is what your like, Tyler!!”

“This isn’t who I am! YOU make me like this.” He slammed his hands against the wall, making Callum moan, only just missing his face. 

He took Callum’s face in his hands, bringing him closer. 

“I’m not gonna let you leave. You belong to me.” He hissed in Callum’s ear. 

“No I don’t! I’m not an object you can just pick up and throw away whenever you want. I don’t BELONG to anyone!”

“Your staying with me for as long as I say!”

“Just get off me!” Callum struggled, kicking out, as Tyler half dragged Callum across the room. “No! I’m not going back to the house with you! I don’t wanna be with you anymore!!”

“Your not going anywhere!”

“Leave. Me. Alone!” Callum tried to kick Tyler, anywhere, to try and loosen his grip on him, but he still held on. Tyler was probably slightly stronger than himself so could drag him. He was already sore from the last time Tyler hurt him. “Tyler! Put me down!! TYLER!!!”

“I just said your not going anywhere! Your mine! Not Ben’s.”

“I don’t. Want. To be carried or dragged or whatever!! I’m not Ben’s either! I’m not anyone’s! He’d never try and OWN me?!” Callum kicked out with every word, trying to get Tyler to let go of him or loosen his grip so he could wriggle free. 

He only just realised Tyler wasn’t dragging him back through the kitchen to the back door but towards the stairs.

“What the hell are you doing?? You can’t lock me in the bedroom forever! This is Ben’s house?! He’ll find me eventually!”

“I can bloody well try! And shut up about Ben! He is not gonna have you! Why are you so obsessed with him?!”

“I’m not! You know he loves me and he doesn’t hurt me!!”

“You need to shut up about him or I’m gonna do something you’ll regret?!”

Tyler got to the bottom of the stairs half dragging Callum up with him. 

“Get off me!! Someone will come back sooner or later! Your not thinking about this at all! It’s not just Ben that lives here!”

Tyler struggled to drag Callum up the stairs when he was kicking out and struggling against his grip too much. 

He gave up, slamming Callum against the wall, winding him slightly, making Callum groan. 

“You see? This is who you are?!” Callum cried.

Tyler wrapped his hands around Callum’s neck shoving him against the wall, half way up the stairs. Callum instantly stopped struggling, going quiet. 

“That made you stop didn’t it?” Tyler hissed. 

Callum said nothing, still looking at Tyler, his whole body trembling. 

“Now. Your gonna do exactly what I say, okay? Or this won’t end well for you. You said you wanted to stay here, well now you can...”

Callum didn’t move, trying to stop his body from shaking. 

“Do you understand?”

Callum strained his neck in Tyler’s hands, not speaking. 

“Do you understand?!”

He nodded slightly, Tyler’s grip seemingly getting tighter around his neck. 

“Why do you have to make me like this?”

Tyler pulled Callum from the wall, guiding him up the stairs backwards still with his hands wrapped around his neck. 

“I don’t...” Callum choked out, Tyler’s grip hurting. 

Ben hadn’t even been gone five minutes, Tyler could do anything in more than five minutes. Ben wouldn’t be able to help anyway, Tyler would probably hurt Ben so much too. 

“Yes you do! Where’s Ben’s room? I’m sure he won’t mind if we borrow it for a bit?”

“Your sick.” Callum managed to get out, Tyler choking him slightly. “You want me to stay, yet you do this...” 

“Has Ben told you to do this? Now your coming here, trying to defy me? Why won’t you back down!” Tyler shook Callum’s head slightly, making him whine. 

“No! Ben hasn’t done anything! He never has!”

“Do you love him?!”

“Please, just let me go and I swear I won’t tell anyone anything.” Callum whispered, struggling to breathe under Tyler’s grip, gasping for air. 

“Don’t lie to me.” He sneered. “We both know you’ll go running to the police if I let you out! Tell them I’m a bad person! Do. You. Love Ben?!”

“I won’t! Please, I’ll do anything you want, if you just let me go.” Callum was desperately trying to ignore the question. He’d only hurt him even more. 

“What like?”

“Anything. I won’t leave you. We can just pretend this never happened, go back to how things were before.” 

“You’d do that?” 

Callum nodded, Tyler’s grip loosening slightly.

“Yes! I just need you to let me go, your really hurting me. I can’t breathe...” Callum tried pulling his head away from Tyler’s hands around his neck, making him grip even tighter. 

“Yeah, I’ll let you go.” Tyler smiled. 

“Really?” Tyler smirked when Callum relaxed slightly, only to tighten his grip even more, making Callum gag. 

“When your dead...”

“Tyler! You just said...” Callum looked at Tyler, over his hands, glaring at him. He’d never threatened to kill him before and the bad thing was, Callum knew he would. He could see it in his eyes. The hatred, the anger. 

“I never said anything about letting you leave.”

Callum struggled again, trying to get free, as Tyler dragged him to the top of the stairs. 

“Get off me!” Callum struggled again, knowing Tyler was never going to let him go. “TYLER!!!”

“Why are you resisting, Callum? Your never gonna get free.”

“I can try!” 

“Because you are WEAK.” He spat. “You can’t fight back. Because you can barely breathe. You can’t take one little shove without crying out in pain. You can’t take one little coffee spill, like before, without bleeding everywhere. Because that’s who you are. Weak.”

“Yes maybe I am weak, but I’m not a bad person you say you aren’t when you clearly are! Now, get off me you bastard!” Callum kicked him in the shin, Tyler’s hands around his neck loosening slightly, as Callum snapped his head back trying to get out of reach of his hands. 

“You little-“ He grabbed the top of Callum’s arms instead, pushing him up the rest of the stairs and shoving him down on Ben’s bed. 

“I’m not gonna let you hurt me anymore!”

“You haven’t got much of a choice have you?”

He took Callum’s wrists in his hands dragging him back off of it pulling him round the side and shoving him back on the top of the bed. 

Tyler knelt on the edge of the bed, as Callum scrambled over to the other side, leaving as much space between them as possible. His arms and waist ached so much, from being pushed against the wall and being dragged by Tyler. He felt so tired but still refused to give in, still struggling to breathe from Tyler gripping onto his neck so hard. 

“You... stay away... from me...” He breathed out. Tyler smiled at him, knowing he was tiring. 

“Look, why don’t you just stop fighting me? We both know you won’t be able to soon. Just tell me do you love Ben?” 

“So what if I do?! Yes!! There I’ve said it! I love Ben and not you!!” Callum cried. 

Tyler pulled Callum back to him, gripping his face in his hands. Callum knew what he was trying to do, pulling his head back. 

“No! I don’t want-“ But Tyler pulled Callum’s mouth to his, forcing himself on him, half lying on top of him. 

“You love me!” 

“Get off me! I’m never gonna sleep with you again! I never want to most of the time anyway! I will ALWAYS fight you, because I don’t want you anymore! I don’t love you!” Callum tried to push Tyler off him, weakly shoving his hands away from his face, hitting Tyler, as he glared at him. 

Callum shot backwards suddenly away from Tyler, touching his nose and wincing, when he saw blood on his hand, where Tyler had just struck him. 

“Look at the state of you, your a mess.” Tyler sneered. 

“I don’t care, as long as you get the hell away from me. You do that just because I won’t sleep with you?!” Callum held his hand over his nose, blood dribbling down his chin. 

“I did that, because you hit me! Why do you love Ben and not me?!”

Tyler tried again, Callum panting, as Tyler pushed him back down, pinning his wrists to the bed. 

“I said no! Maybe I love Ben, cos he doesn’t do this! He’s everything your not?! Just get off me and let me go!”

“I’ve already told you I can’t let you go now.”

“What are gonna do to me?!”

“What I should have done right from the start!”

“What?!”

“Right from when I first met you! I knew you were trouble. Have you ever kissed Ben, slept with him?!”

“Why get with me then?! I’ve never gave you reason to think I’m trouble!!”

“You were easy... Have you ever slept with him??!!”

Callum writhed under Tyler’s grip, his nose still flowing, he could taste his blood all in his mouth, but was still determined to try and get away. 

“Tell me!!”

“Yes I have! And you know what?! I don’t regret it!” Callum cried, glaring at him. “I. Enjoyed. It.” 

“You bastard!! Maybe I should cut you somewhere? Let you bleed out, you wouldn’t be able to stop it would you? Your already tired...” He leaned down, kissing Callum again. 

Callum felt his whole body shaking, tiring out fast from the aches all over his body. 

“Do it then! It’d be better than staying with you for the rest of my life!”

“Oh I will kill you, can’t have you letting anyone know about this, but I’ve got to have a little fun first don’t you think?”

Callum whined to himself as Tyler cut him off with another bruising kiss. 

“I don’t want to!” He whined, his tears running down the side of his face.

“Why are you complaining? You never usually.”

“Cos I don’t want to!” Callum choked out another sob, as Tyler gripped onto his hair, pulling his head up to meet Tyler’s mouth, unzipping his jeans, reaching between them. 

“Your just a weak, pathetic excuse of a man.” Tyler spat. 

“Get off me!” Callum tried again, attempting to shove Tyler off him, keeping his head to the side, trying to get keep himself away from Tyler. He lay there crying, whimpering to himself as Tyler wouldn’t stop. “Please...” He whined, choking on his breaths. 

Callum didn’t know what happened for a second, as he felt Tyler’s weight lift off him as Ben pulled Tyler off Callum, grabbing Tyler’s arms and crossing the room in two strides, slamming him against the wall. 

Callum shuffled up across the bed, holding his nose, trying to get away from Tyler, as he struggled against Ben’s grip, still trying to get to him. It hadn’t even been the ten minutes Ben had said he’d waited, it must have only been about five by now and Tyler had gone from calm to this in an instant. 

“He might be getting weaker, but I’m not. And he must have a hell of a lot of strength to put up with you for near enough two years! And Callum said GET OFF HIM!!” 

Ben shoved Tyler up the wall trying to get him feel some kind of pain.

Ben brought Tyler forward and slammed him back against the wall again. 

“I swear if you touch him or even look at Callum again, I will end you!!” Ben hissed in Tyler’s ear.


	50. Chapter 50

“If Callum asks you to stop touching him or hurting him, YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!!” Ben glared at Tyler, shoving him against the wall. 

“You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do with MY boyfriend!”

“Callum doesn’t wanna be your boyfriend?! Your fiancé?! Anything anymore?! Why can’t you understand that?! He only said yes because he’s scared of you!!”

“Who the hell do you think you are, you bastard?!”

“Oh, you’ll know what hell feels like when I’ve finished with you.”

Callum shuffled off the bed, still holding onto his nose, dribbling down his face. 

“Have you been sleeping with him, whilst you were with me, all this time??!!”

Tyler glared at Callum over Ben not letting his grip loosen. 

“It was once!” Callum cried. 

Ben pulled him back slamming him against the wall again, turning Tyler’s face back to him, gripping on hard. 

“I said you don’t get to even look at him anymore.” Ben hissed. 

“I’m sorry, okay?! You’d...” Callum trailed off, remembering when Tyler had burnt his hand with coffee and he’d snuck out of the house to go and see Ben. It felt like such a long time ago when he’d actually slept with Ben. “When you’d hurt me...” He managed to get out. 

“Why do you think all this is okay?! Look at what you’ve done to him. He’s broken!!” Ben glared at Tyler, still struggling against his grip. 

“Why are you still here?” Tyler hissed. “No one wants you here.”

“Because you can’t be alone with Callum without hurting him. You are sick! Why Callum?? Callum is a good person and you’ve ruined him!”

“He’s too nice, too trustworthy. Maybe he should have thought about it before he jumped into bed with me that very first time! He doesn’t love you, Ben or he’d had slept with you way before he met me. He only slept with you cos he felt sorry for you, felt sorry for himself! Cos he poured coffee all over his hand.”

“It wasn’t like that!!” Callum moaned. He didn’t want Ben to start believing Tyler, he did love Ben. He didn’t want Ben to think he only slept with him to make himself feel better. 

“You hurt yourself so you go running to Ben again!”

Ben ignored them both, pushing him further into the wall. 

“You snatched the mug from me! Cos you were annoyed about something!” Callum tried. He couldn’t even remember what he was annoyed about that time. Probably Ben again. 

Tyler looked at Ben, a small smile forming on his face. 

“You think it’s funny?!” He brought Tyler closer to him. “You did it didn’t you?!” Before slamming him back against wall, making him wince slightly. “You burnt him didn’t you?!”

“Ben! Please, just stop it!” Callum pleaded with him, trying to slow the flow of his blood from his nose. 

“Leave it, Cal!” Ben snapped, shoving Tyler up the wall a little more, making him groan slightly. 

“Hurts doesn’t it? How does it feel? To have the tables turned and you being shoving against walls instead? You have been controlling Callum for years, worming you’re way in, getting him to trust you, making think you cared. When you haven’t ever have you? You don’t care about Callum, all you care about is yourself!”

“Why would Callum tell you he didn’t love you if he did, eh? 

“Oh no! I already know ALL about your little arrangement. Not gonna work though, cos he’s already told me.” It was Ben’s turn to grin at him this time. “You thought you could try and manipulate Callum some more, get me out of the way, then you can have him all to yourself. But your wrong! Cos he’s got me, he’s got so many people that you don’t realise because he has a family!! He has a good heart that’s why he trusted you, but you don’t realise how many people love him, and neither does he cos you’re sick and you’ve changed everything about him!”

“Your delusional!”

Ben ignored him, carrying on. 

“How do you know Callum told me he didn’t love me if you weren’t here?” Ben whispered. 

“He told me, he didn’t?!”

“No, he never!” Ben pulled Tyler back, shoving him back against it. “YOU told him to tell me. But your plan didn’t work, because I know him and only you could be that cruel and heartless. It was you talking through him and I knew he didn’t want to do it! But your cold and evil!” He hissed. “You don’t deserve a life!”

“Come on, Ben, show Callum what your really too!” Tyler goaded. 

“Now, I’ve heard quite a few rumours around, that you... how shall I put this? You get a little bit angry sometimes? Not just with Callum is it?”

Tyler ignored him, still watching Callum. “Don’t you?” Ben hissed. 

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“Oh no, not like you! Yes, people get angry. But they don’t start abusing their boyfriend?!”

“Abuse? Who said anything about that?!”

“You a sick, twisted bastard, who wants to keep Callum as close as possible to keep your dirty little hands on him. You know damn well what your doing.”

Ben pulled away, smiling at Tyler. “Who’s, Tom, Tyler?” Ben whispered. 

“Tom??” Callum frowned. “Ben, what are you on about?”

Tyler glared at Ben, going still under Ben’s grip. 

“I don’t know what your about?” Tyler said instead. 

“Oh yes, I know about that too, shame everyone else is gonna know what a little shit you are. I think you do know what I’m talking about, don’t you Tyler?”

“Ben?!” Callum walked forward a little, not too close to Tyler, but trying to get Ben to talk to him. 

“Care to fill him in, Tyler?”

“Ben?! Please, just tell me what your on about?!” Callum cried. 

“Tom is- was- Tyler’s boyfriend, before you.”

“Shut up!” Tyler glared at Ben, still pining his arms to the wall. 

“Tell him.” Ben hissed. 

“I’m not gonna listen to you!”

“What happened to him?!” Ben cried, trying to get him to talk. 

“Ben?! What happened just tell me?” Callum asked urgently, Ben wouldn’t tell him, too busy pulling Tyler from the wall and pushing him back again harder. “Ben! Just stop and tell me?!”

“Tom died in a car accident.” Ben started. “You were driving weren’t you? You were drunk! Yet you still made Tom get in the car!”

“How do you know this??” Callum asked, not daring to go any closer to them both. 

“I’ll tell you later!” He shot back. “He didn’t want to be with you anymore did he? Yet you tried to own him too. He wanted to get away from you, but you forced him in that car. You killed your own boyfriend!”

“Tom made his own decisions.” Tyler hissed. 

“How could he when you were controlling him too! I don’t think the police are gonna appreciate you abusing people twice to two different people, if they even know about the first time! Tell me how you got away with it?” He hissed. “I’m sure the police would love to hear all about this too?”

“You dare...” He pushed Ben forward flipping him round slamming him against the wall. He frowned when Ben didn’t even wince. 

“What? Expecting me to be in pain? Callum already hurts from the last time you hurt him! You keep him hurting all the time, so he can’t fight back!” Tyler held his arm across Ben, keeping him where he was, pushing him further into the wall. 

“Does it make you feel more powerful, cos it hurts him so much? Make you think your a real man? Cos you can hurt someone without them being able to get out?”

“Who the hell do you think you are? Telling me who I am, what I do? Sticking your nose into my past?!”

“Because that’s what you are. You manipulated two people, maybe more into living a lie. You are a bully. An abuser. You are an manipulative controlling man who wants to keep Callum as close as possible. But if that doesn’t show who you really are, you kill Tom. I won’t stop until I know your DEAD too!!”

“Tyler, please, just stop it! This isn’t Ben’s fault! Just let him go!” Callum still pleaded. 

“This is everything to do with Ben. We were fine until you came and messed things up.” He hissed at Ben. 

“Just go, Cal!” Ben snapped back, Tyler took the opportunity to grab Ben’s arms instead, tightening his grip. 

“I’m not leaving you with him?! And we were never fine!!” He shit at Tyler. 

“Just go! He’s already hurt you too much, I’ll be fine.”

Ben looked back at Tyler, both glaring at each other, Callum still standing there. 

Tyler loosened his grip slightly, backing away from Ben. 

“No! You bastard!!” Ben cried. Tyler rushed backwards, grabbing Callum pushing him in front of him, wrapping his arm around a Callum’s neck. 

“Tell him what you really feel!” Tyler hissed, gripping onto Callum from behind. 

“Don’t touch him!” Ben cried, rushing forward. “Your gonna be okay, Cal!” He tried to convince himself, Callum moaning to himself, trying to reach Ben. 

“Don’t you even come near him! Or I’ll do something that neither of you want.” Tyler spotted a pair of scissors lying on the side, opening them and pressing them against Callum’s neck. 

“Tyler! What are you doing?!” Callum cried. 

“I already told you I was gonna kill you? How would you like to do that in front of the person who cares about you the most?”

Tyler gripped on harder, making him whine, pressing it a little harder against his throat. 

“No! Don’t do that?!” Ben lurched forward Tyler dragging them both away. 

“You can stay away from him!” He hissed. 

Ben looked at Callum looking terrified, the blade pressed hard against his throat. 

“Tell him, before you can’t anymore...” Callum winced at Tyler hissing in his ear. 

“I don’t love you, Ben!” He cried. 

Ben just wanted him as far away from Callum as possible, but didn’t want Tyler to hurt him even more. 

Callum’s eyes pleading with Ben, not to believe him.

“Just let him go!” Ben knew it was useless and he couldn’t even help Callum.

“Your gonna do as I say!”

Ben nodded quickly, trying not to show any of the pain he was feeling inside at Callum shaking in Tyler’s grasp, his tears slipping down his face. 

“Your gonna go downstairs and leave me and Callum to it. Unless you want to watch your lovely... friend-“ He spat. “Die? You want to watch??”

Callum whimpered to himself, holding his hands over Tyler’s arm trying to get him to stop. 

“You really think, I’m just gonna leave, when he want to force yourself on him against his will, kill him!”

Callum whined when Tyler pressed the blade in a little harder, a little blood trickling down his neck.

“Just go, Ben...” Callum whispered, feeling Tyler dragging the blade against his neck gently. 

“I can’t! Your gonna be okay! You’ve got to be!!”

“Please, Ben...” He couldn’t let Ben watch, let him bleed. Callum squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for Tyler press just a little harder to really do some damage. 

“Callum’s a good person...” Ben whispered. 

“He slept with you!!”

Callum whined to himself as Tyler shook him. 

“I kissed him first! He didn’t know I loved him?! It isn’t his fault!”

“He could have stopped you, said no!! But he slept with you anyway!”

“Come on, Tyler! You want me to stay but I can’t if you kill me...” Callum pleaded. 

Tyler loosened his grip slightly, Ben edging a little closer. 

“I swear I’ll do anything if you put the scissors down...” Callum carried on, seeming to work. “I’ll go home. Just you and me. I’ll stop seeing Ben too. So you know I’m definitely with you and no one else. You can still trust me...”

“He’ll still try and get to you!” Tyler cried, readjusting his hand and the blade against Callum’s throat. 

“You won’t will you Ben?!” Callum shot back. 

Ben looked at Callum not sure what he was doing or planning, sighing to himself thinking Callum was going to stay with Tyler again. Let him take him home even after this. 

Callum nodded at Ben slowly, trying to get him to listen. Get Ben to trust him. Communicating with no words. 

“I won’t see him again...” Ben whispered. 

“I can’t trust you!” Tyler glared at Ben, still pressing the blade against Callum neck, pulling his head back, exposing Callum’s neck even more. He could feel his blood trailing down his neck slowly, not deep to do enough damage yet. 

“You can trust me!” Callum cried. “Please, just put the scissors down...”

Tyler glared at Ben, putting them down slowly on the side. 

Callum sighed, wrapping his arms around Tyler, hugging him. 

“You can trust me...” Callum whispered. 

Ben frowned at Callum reaching slowly behind Tyler curling his hand around the scissors slowly, shaking as Callum kept hugging Tyler. 

“You can go now.” Tyler hissed at Ben. “I told you Callum didn’t want you.”

Ben watched Callum, bringing his hand back to himself slowly as he pulled apart just as quickly, rushing over to Ben, throwing his arms around him and burying his head in his neck. 

He hadn’t been this close to Ben since Tyler first came in downstairs, his familiar scent surrounding him. 

“I’m sorry...” Callum whispered. He didn’t mean any of those things he said, just to get Tyler to let him go. 

Ben breathed out, wrapping his arms around Callum tightly. He knew what he meant, not blaming Callum for any of it. 

“You lying bastard!” Tyler cried realising Callum had got the scissors. 

Ben pulled apart just as quickly, pushing Callum behind him, Tyler trying to get to him. 

Ben bunched his fists in Tyler’s shirt, crossing the room again, the opposite side this time, pushing him against the wall again. 

“You made him believe he was in a real relationship, with a kind, caring man. You’d do anything to stop him from telling someone. So you thought in your sick mind, that you’d try and keep him prisoner in here? What were you expecting? For him to just roll over and let you for the rest of his life, like he has all these years, like some kind of animal?”

“I don’t know who you think you are, but your getting involved in my business and I don’t think you should.”

“You never loved him did you? He’s just your... business, as you put it. You used him. Because you don’t care about him. All you care about is yourself. You’d have killed him if I left. What were you gonna do?! Sleep with him, then kill him!”

Tyler pushed Ben off him, throwing a punch. 

“Argh, you bastard! Your not right in the head!” Ben touched his lip, looking at his hand, bleeding a little. 

“Ben!” Callum rushed behind him, trying to look at Ben’s face.

“I’m fine! Would you please just go!” Ben trying to take his head from Callum’s hands. 

“No! I am not just just gonna leave you!”

He looked back up at Tyler, glaring at Callum again, walking slowly to him. 

Callum backed himself into the corner of the room, whimpering to himself. “No! I don’t want to! I don’t want you to!”

Ben punched him back, Tyler stumbling backwards as Ben threw himself at him. 

Callum hurried back over, trying to pull Ben off Tyler lying across the floor. 

“Stop it! Ben! Please! Just stop hitting him!”

Ben ignored carrying on. “You were gonna kill him!! Your just a sick twisted bastard!”

“Ben! Just stop! Look at him, he’s a mess already!” 

Callum groaned, trying to tear Ben away from Tyler, still hitting him. 

“GOOD! Have you not looked at yourself? At what he’s done to you!”

“Ben! Would you just listen to me!!”

Callum finally managed to drag Ben off Tyler still glaring him. 

“You WILL pay for what you’ve done to him!” Ben shouted. 

“Ben! He’s still a person! You can’t just punch the life out of him!”

Ben stood back up, Tyler’s face a mess, as he lay groaning on the floor, whining to himself still looking at Tyler on the floor. 

“Yes I can! That is just the tiniest amount of pain that you’ve been going through. YOU did that to Callum!! You’ve broken him!”

Callum wrapped his arm around Ben’s front from behind trying to stop him getting back to Tyler.

“Why do you even care?! He’s being hurting you for years!”

“Don’t you think I’ve seen enough times like this?! Usually ending with me looking that!”

Ben hesitated, looking at the state of Callum, his nose bleeding, and a cut across his cheek, and his blood dribbling down his neck. It just made him even more determined. 

“I’m doing this for you, if you don’t want to see, go somewhere safer! He can’t keep hurting you anymore, I promised I’d keep you safe and this is the only way!”

“And you can! You know I don’t want you to do this. I’m not gonna let you kill him?”

Ben ran his hands through hair turning around to look at Tyler, looking half dead. 

Callum turned Ben around holding onto his arms. “Please, Ben. I don’t want anyone to get hurt anymore. I mean, just look at me, look at yourself! He’s hurt you too, because of me. And just look at him. We’ve all been hurt.”

Callum ran his thumb across Ben’s lips, from where Tyler punched him, a bruise already forming across his chin. He brought Ben’s hand up, stroking his thumb across Ben’s bloody knuckles too. “Your hurting too...” Callum whispered, feeling so guilty. 

Ben ignored him, refusing to look at him. 

“You’ve got know idea what I’ve been going through all this time. I was scared... all the time, of what he was gonna do next and I just want it all to stop now...”

“It will stop, if you let me do what I need to!”

“Not like this, Ben. I don’t want to hurt anymore, I don’t want you to be hurting, but I don’t want him to be hurting either.”

“He’s still in your head, Cal! You need to get out! He’s not ever been who he says he is and he’s still using you now! You still have this need to protect him after all he’s done to you!”

“You don’t understand, Ben! Why would I want someone hurting, going through exactly what I have?”

Ben looked away from Callum back to Tyler, whining to himself in the floor, before going quiet. Callum stroked his thumb across Ben’s lips, a tear slipping down his cheek, at what Tyler had done to Ben. 

Ben relaxed slightly, knowing Tyler wasn’t going to hurt Callum looking like that. 

Ben turned back to Callum, looking at each other so hurt for a while, Callum still stroking his mouth, before wrapping his arms around Callum. 

Callum hugged Ben even tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. He really thought Tyler was going to kill him. 

Ben held onto Callum, cradling his head to him, rocking them both. 

He looked at Tyler lying on the floor, over Callum’s shoulder. He was just lying there looking dead, Callum sobbing into his neck. 

“I thought he was gonna kill me...” Callum whined, choking out his sobs into Ben. 

Ben stroked the back of Callum’s hair, wrapping his other arm around him tightly. 

“I’m never gonna leave you alone with him again...”

Ben guided them over to the bed to sit down, Callum freaking out. 

“No! I don’t wanna do that?! No, Ben!!”

“We’re not. I swear on my life, look at me, Cal...”

Ben held Callum’s face in his hands, stroking his cheeks lightly. 

“I’m not gonna do anything. I’m not gonna force you.”

Ben nodded, Callum breathing heavily. 

“Cal, it’s just me...” Ben whispered. 

Callum searched Ben’s eyes, needing to be sure, before letting him sit them both down. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, burying his head in Ben’s neck again, wrapping his arms back around him. 

“He was lying on me, Ben! I wanted him to get off and he wouldn’t, he kept kissing me!”

“Sssh, your okay. I’ve got you. I’m gonna make sure your okay...”

“He kept touching me...”

“He won’t again, I swear on my life, Cal.”

“He had his hands around my neck... I couldn’t breathe...”

Ben held Callum’s head to him, squeezing his eyes shut as Callum cried into him, choking out his sobs. 

“Ssh, you’ll be okay...” Ben whispered, running his hand through Callum’s hair, keeping his head close to him. 

He didn’t even know if Callum would be okay. He was already convinced Ben was going to make him sleep with him. Ben just wanted to make sure he was safe right now. 

He carried on hushing Callum, whispering he’d be okay, he’d be safe, he had him. 

Callum just sat there crying into Ben for ages, Ben whispering to him, holding onto him as Callum sobbed, struggling to breathe. 

Ben wanted to check Callum over, his neck, his face, everywhere else Tyler had hurt but didn’t want to touch him without Callum freaking out. So he just held him tighter, stroking his hair, as Callum cried. 

“Is he dead?” Callum whispered after a while, not lifting his head up from Ben’s neck. He liked it here, Ben holding onto him, keeping him safe. 

“I don’t know... I’ll sort something out...”

Ben looked at Tyler, still lying across the floor.

“We can’t just leave him there...” Callum looked up at Tyler too, looking at the state of him. His face was bloody, lying sprawled out on Ben’s bedroom floor at an odd angle. 

Tyler looked dead to Callum. They always say it only takes one punch to kill someone, Ben had hit him way more than that. 

“I’ll sort it, not you. You’ve been through enough.”

“I love you so much.” Callum buried his head back into Ben’s neck, breathing him in. All he cared about right now was that Ben was okay, Tyler hadn’t done that much damage to Ben, making Callum feel slightly better. He face looked sore, but it wasn’t really bad. 

“I’m gonna make sure your alright.” Ben whispered, kissing his neck. “I love you too.”

“What are we gonna do...” Callum whispered, burying his head back into Ben’s neck, squeezing his eyes shut, sobbing again.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for this guys, I’ve not had a good day with writing today, but still wanted to get it out for you. I know it’s toned down a lot, cos of the past few chapters, so I’m sorry if your disappointed! This isn’t my best?!

Ben held onto Callum, sniffing to himself, not wanting to let go of Ben. 

“You’ll be okay.” Ben whispered, pressing a kiss to Callum’s hair. 

“He’s still there, Ben! And you don’t even know if he’s alive!”

Callum lifted his head up, both looking at Tyler. 

“What if you’ve killed him...” Callum whispered. 

Ben unwrapped his arms around Callum, standing up. 

“What you doing?!” Callum looked from Ben to Tyler back to Ben again. 

“Checking...” 

“What if he’s dead?! You’ll get sent to prison!! You can’t leave me?!”

Ben sat back down next to Callum wrapping his arms around him, holding his head to him. 

“I’m not gonna leave you.”

“Or if he’s alive! He’s bound to go straight to the police saying you attacked him!”

“And what about him hurting you all this time! That’s not gonna look good is it?! Besides I had a reason, he was tryna kill you! Have you seen your neck!”

“I’m fine...” He whispered. 

“Your not... Just look at how much he hurt you, I should never have even let you stay alone with him. If I hadn’t come in at that time...”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut not daring to think what would have happened if Ben hadn’t dragged Tyler off him. 

“Thank you for coming in when you did.”

Ben pressed a kiss to Callum’s hair, stroking the back of his neck. 

“I should I never have even left you. I should have stayed anyway. Why did I leave you?!”

“Cos you respect what I want and I wanted to for some stupid reason. I didn’t think he’d do this...”

“Cos you care about everyone Cal, and you wanted to give him a chance to let you leave him. I’m sorry.” He whispered, keeping Callum’s head close to him. 

“It’s not your fault. None of this is.”

“Didn’t think things would get so bad quickly. I’m glad I came in.”

“Me too...” Callum whispered, hugging Ben even tighter. 

Ben held onto Callum, cradling his head to him. Ben looked at Tyler, over Callum’s shoulder. He was just lying on the floor, Callum sobbing into Ben’s neck again. 

“I was only waiting for five minutes. I got to the front door, cos Jay came to me and told me about Tom. I couldn’t just leave you with him so I came to get you. And then I heard you cry out...”

“Thank you.” Callum whispered again. 

“I won’t let him hurt you again, I swear on my life.”

Callum pulled away, looking at Ben. 

“How did Jay find out?? Was Tom really with Tyler, before...”

Ben nodded, standing up slowly. Callum didn’t protest this time so he knelt down feeling Tyler’s neck. 

“Jay did a bit of digging for me, I knew he was always dodgy. He found some artical that Tom had died in a car accident with Tyler. It just didn’t all add up?”

Ben sat back on the end of the bed, next to Callum wrapping his arms around him again. 

“Is he...”

“No. Think I just knocked him out.”

“Good.” He huffed. 

Ben laughed, stroking Callum’s hair. 

“Tell me about it?” Callum asked, resting his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“Erm, Jay sent it all to me on my phone, and I came back in here to get you out of there, I didn’t want you to be with him for a second longer. I’m glad I did come in then...”

Callum pressed a kiss to Ben’s shoulder wrapping his arms around his waist. He always felt safe if he was with Ben. 

“We can’t just wait for him to wake up? What are we gonna do?” Callum whispered against Ben’s neck. 

“I’ll figure something out...” 

Ben stroked his fingers through Callum’s hair, trying to keep him calm. Callum was probably in shock after everything already. 

“There’s so much I actually don’t know about him...” Callum whispered, turning his head to look at Tyler, still lying on Ben’s shoulder. 

“He’s been lying to you about it all, Cal. Tyler’s not who he’s says he is.”

Callum buried his nose back into Ben’s neck instead, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Erm, Tyler was drunk. Tom didn’t want to do it anymore, was gonna leave him, like you tried. I only know this cos Jay found Tom’s sister...”

“She knew about it all?”

“Think so? Think Tom told her and no one else. Anyway, I think he was trying to get back to his sister and Tyler stopped him...”

“Why did he not get sent to prison for it all!! Who have I been living with, Ben!!”

“Cos no one still knows about him abusing Tom. You too!!”

“His sister knew?!”

“I don’t know it all. But I want to find out. But he somehow got away with drink driving as well?! Probably manipulated someone else...” He huffed, glaring at Tyler still lying across the floor. 

“I’ve left you alone with him, so many times, when he could have done anything to you...” Ben squeezed his eyes shut resting his head on top of Callum’s. 

“I’m okay now though...” Callum whispered, spreading his hand across Ben’s chest.

Ben curled his hand around Callum’s, pressing another kiss to his hair. He needed to make sure Callum knew he was safe with him. Convince himself too, that Callum was still here with him. 

“Did he...”

Callum looked up at Ben, hesitating.

Ben looked back at Callum, not sure whether to ask, but he needed to know. 

“Has he ever made you sleep with him before, even though you didn’t want to?” Ben managed to get out, searching Callum’s eyes. 

“No...”

Ben reached up holding the side of Callum’s face, stroking across his jaw lightly. 

“You can tell me, you know? You don’t need to protect him...”

“I’m not...”

Ben searched Callum’s eyes, trying to get him to tell him, but he just looked at Ben, not speaking. 

Ben pulled Callum’s head back to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut, holding in his tears. He knew that’s why Callum didn’t want to tell him, because it was true. 

“I sometimes didn’t...” Callum closed his eyes, concentrating on Ben’s fingers in his hair, burying his nose in Ben’s shirt. 

“Shouldn’t Tyler be like... moving by now??” He said instead, changing the subject. 

“It’s only been ten minutes, I did punch him pretty hard...” 

Callum picked up Ben’s hand up, stroking his thumb across his bloodied knuckles. 

“He could have hurt you a lot more, Ben...” 

“I’m okay though.” Ben finished quickly, running his hand through Callum’s hair. 

“What if he’d held you like he did me with the scissors? He’d have killed you without hesitating...”

“He didn’t. Don’t worry yourself over what might have happened to me. I’m okay. We both look a bit, like with been fighting with a lion.” Ben smiled. 

Callum looked up at Ben, a dark bruise forming across his face where Tyler punched him, his lip cut, still bleeding slightly. 

“It’s not like I’ve been in a fight before.” Ben smiled. 

“You fighting is not funny!” Callum glared at Ben, smiling at Callum anyway. “He could have seriously hurt you. I’d never have forgiven myself...”

“I really thought he was gonna do it...” Ben closed his eyes, images of Tyler holding the blade against Callum’s throat and him looking terrified flooding his mind again. 

“I had to say all those things to make him put them down. I didn’t mean any of it. I don’t not love you. I do.”

Ben smiled at Callum, Callum leaning forward pressing a small kiss to Ben’s lips.

Callum moaned with dislike, at tasting Ben blood slightly, Ben grinning at him pulling a strange face. 

“Ah, Shouldn’t have done that...” Callum groaned. 

“Your a muppet, you are.”

Callum smiled at Ben, wrapping his arms around him instead, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

“You not hurt here.” Callum whispered, resting his head on his shoulder. 

Ben laced his hand through Callum’s hair, stroking him lightly. 

“I love you so much, Cal. I thought I was gonna lose you...”

“I thought he was gonna kill me... I know I told Tyler, I would go back with him, but I don’t want to...”

“You are going nowhere with him!”

“But I don’t have my flat anymore, Ben...”

Ben lifted Callum’s head up, holding his head in his hands. 

“You can stay here! I meant what I said about you having a family! We all love you, Cal, I mean Lexi practically worships the ground you walk on! She adores you. I’m not gonna force you, but you can move in here. You’ve always got a place here.”

Callum threw his arms around Ben’s neck, hugging him tightly. 

“Thank you.” He whispered. 

“Don’t thank me, I just want you to be safe.”

“I am with you around...” 

Ben smiled to himself, hugging Callum a little tighter. 

“Let me go get the first aid kit, sort you out a bit. Your neck looks sore.”

“I’m okay, what if he wakes up??”

“Come with me then.”

Callum nodded, taking Ben’s hand and following him outside. 

“We can’t just leave him there?”

“We’re only gonna be downstairs, we’ll hear him if he tries to get to you and I’ll make sure he doesn’t touch you.”

“Okay...” Callum wasn’t so sure but followed Ben downstairs anyway to the kitchen. 

“You sit there, I just want to sort you out.” Ben told him. 

“Your amazing you know that?”

“What cos I want to clean you up? You do look a bit of a sight?” Ben smiled. 

“Everything. Coming in and helping me. Everything over the past few months. Just for being there for me.”

Ben sat down next to Callum, lifting his head up gently to look at his neck. 

“I’ll always be here for you, Cal. I love you too much. I’m going nowhere...”


	52. Chapter 52

Ben sighed looking at the state of Callum. He held his hand over the side of his face, looking him over. 

A dark bruise forming across the side of his face, a cut lip, his nose bleeding too. His neck looked even worse, still bleeding slightly, dribbling down onto the top of his shirt. 

“Has it ever been this bad before?” Ben whispered. 

“Why’d you think I never saw you for weeks at a time, Ben...”

Ben stroked his thumb across Callum’s cheek lightly, another tear slipping down his face. Callum had barley stopped crying since Ben had pulled Tyler off him. 

“I’m sorry, I just-“

“Don’t apologise, I’m pretty sure your entitled to a cry after everything don’t you?” Ben smiled. 

Callum smiled at Ben, sniffling slightly. 

“Come ‘ere.”

Callum leaned into Ben, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

“I know you don’t want me to keep saying it but thank you...” Callum whispered, burying his nose in Ben’s shirt. 

Ben pressed a kiss to the top of Callum’s head, rubbing down his back slowly. 

“I would probably be still with him if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t have known...” Callum trailed off, burying his head in Ben’s neck. 

“What he’s really like? What he did to you?” Ben finished. 

Callum nodded, squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to ever let go of Ben. 

“You’ve helped me so much. And I’ll always be grateful for that.”

Callum lifted his head up, looking at Ben. “Grateful that I’ve got you.”

“You’ve always got me.” Ben smiled. “In fact you always had. I’m glad you could come to me when you were hurting.”

“I trust you.” Callum smiled. 

Ben smiled at Callum, lifting his head up. 

“I think we need to do something about your neck, it looks sore?”

“Is a bit. I never thought he’d ever do something like this...”

Ben wiped it lightly, Callum wincing at the pain. 

“Sorry...” Ben muttered, trying to be more careful. “I really think you should just go to the hospital, Cal. Your neck looks really sore and it’s still bleeding!”

“No! I don’t... I don’t want anyone else knowing about...”

“And what am I supposed to tell me Mum?! She’ll want to know why I’m like this. Again! And Mick?! Surely he’ll want to know?”

“I don’t want anyone else knowing what he tried to do?!”

“Fine... What am I supposed to say, when we’re both looking like this? We both attacked each other?!”

“If that’s what it takes, yeah!”

“Like I’m gonna do that to you! A mean hold a blade against your throat?!”

“Please, Ben...”

“I know... I won’t tell anyone. I swear. You can trust me.”

“I do.”

“What if it gets infected or something?”

“It shouldn’t if I keep it clean.”

“You could do more damage if you don’t go to hospital?”

“I’m not going, Ben...”

Ben nodded, knowing Callum wouldn’t budge. 

“Thank you...” Callum whispered. 

Ben sighed to himself, cleaning Callum’s face instead. 

Callum looked at Ben, sliding his hand into Ben’s. 

Ben smiled at Callum, squeezing his hand, pulling his head back, squinting at Callum. 

“You look a little better now.” He nodded. 

“Apart from the bruise down my face??”

“Okay maybe it does look bad, but your necks the worst...” He tried. 

“No, Ben! Jay already knows and that’s enough. I don’t want people looking at me like you are?!”

“Like what?!”

“Like you feel sorry for me!”

“I’m just angry that he’s done this to you!”

“I know, but please, I don’t want anyone knowing about anything?”

Callum looked back at Ben waiting for an answer. 

“You know I’ll do what you want...” Ben told him. 

Callum nodded, grabbing a wipe, but Ben stood up instead. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

“But your face?!”

“I’m okay, Cal.” Ben insisted. He crossed the kitchen, turning the tap on and splashing water over his face. He was surprised how much blood was running into the sink. Tyler did throw a good punch alright. 

“Lies...” Callum whispered. 

Ben looked up at Callum, staring in front of him at nothing. 

He stroked Callum’s hair out of his eyes, Callum jumping, breathily heavily. 

“Ssh, it’s just me.” Ben whispered, stroking the back of his neck. 

“All of it, Ben. The past two years of my life has just been lies.”

“I know... But he’s not going to hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.”

Callum looked up at Ben, running his hand through Callum’s hair. 

“I just want to know the truth but I know Tyler won’t tell me. I just want to know everything he’s lied about.”

Ben sat back down next to Callum, Callum reaching up and stroking Ben’s wet hair back away from his eyes. 

“Let me sort it. I’ll get him to tell you.”

“No, Ben, I know you and ‘sort it’ usually means knocking him out again!”

“Just let me do it my way, but I promise I won’t kill him.” Ben rolled his eyes jokingly, both of them knowing Ben would love nothing more. 

“I just don’t want anyone hurting anymore...”

“I know. Come ‘ere.” Ben pulled Callum’s head to him, stroking his hair gently. “I promise you, I’ll keep you safe.”

Callum buried his nose, into Ben’s shirt breathing him in. 

They stayed together for a while, Callum squeezing his eyes shut trying to forget about everything and everyone apart from Ben. Just holding onto him, stroking his hair. 

“I love you.” Callum whispered. 

“I love you too, Cal.”

“I was always just Callum with Tyler, not Cal. I know it’s stupid but-“

“It’s not.” Ben smiled. 

“I don’t know...” He sighed. “It’s just you and Jay and Mick and everyone call me Cal. It just...”

“Means something? That’s because we’re close. You have so many people around you, your not alone. You never were.”

“I know that now. It just didn’t feel like it all this time. I felt so... alone...”

Ben held onto Callum a little tighter, kissing his hair. 

“I couldn’t have done it without Jay actually. He’s helped me to, find out where Tyler lives and about Tom.” Ben told him. 

“Does Jay know your here now? And me and Tyler?”

“Sort of?”

Callum looked up at Ben, frowning at him. 

“Sort of?? He either does or he doesn’t?”

“Well he called me about Tom and I freaked out a bit. Cos I knew you were still here on your own with him. I sort of just said I’m coming here and hung up??”

“He’s probably wondering what’s happening.”

“Jay’s gonna know exactly why we’re both looking like this. He’ll know its cos of all of this.”

“I don’t want anyone else knowing...”

“I won’t tell anyone else. Just me, you and Jay.” Ben nodded. 

Callum reached up stroking his thumb across Ben’s lips. 

“You look like that because of me. Your hurting so much because of me...”

“I’m looking like this cos of Tyler, Cal, not you.”

“But if you’d not come here, he wouldn’t have done it, it looks painful.” 

“I’m okay. If I’d not come here, he would have done so much more damage...”

Callum closed his eyes trying not to think about Tyler hurting him, he could practically still feel his hands around his neck. If Ben hadn’t have been there Tyler wouldn’t have stopped kissing him or touching him. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you again.” Ben wiped away Callum’s tears gently, Callum leaning into his hand. 

“You haven’t. I just don’t wanna think about what would have happened if you weren’t here.”

“Don’t think about it.” Ben nodded. “You’ve already been through so much, you can’t stress yourself out, what might have happened. You’ll let me try and get him to tell you the truth?”

“As long as you don’t try and kill him.” Callum smiled. 

Ben nodded quickly, grabbing a chair from the kitchen, a placing it in the front room. 

“What are you doing?!” Callum looked so scared, not sure what Ben was going to do. 

“I’m not gonna kill him.” He reminded. 

“Okay... I don’t like this, whatever your planning I know I won’t like it...”

“Just let me do this, you wanna know the truth?”

Callum nodded, watching Ben grabbing a glass of water, casually drinking some and crossing back to the living room. 

“Just wait in the kitchen a minute, I won’t let him near you.”

Callum wrapped his arms around Ben, hugging him tightly. 

Ben pressed a kiss to Callum’s forehead, before disappearing upstairs. 

He opened his bedroom door slowly, smirking at Tyler groaning to himself on the floor. 

“Aren’t you up yet?? Been enough time hasn’t it?”

Ben poured the water over his face, spluttering to himself. 

“You bastard!” He seethed. 

“I know.” Ben smiled. “You said quite a few times. Get up.” Ben hissed. 

Ben gripped onto Tyler’s collar, dragging him up and shoving him out of the bedroom. “How about me and you have a little chat?” He pushed him down the stairs with him, reaching the bottom slamming him against the wall. 

“That is for taking advantage of Callum. Manipulating him!!”

Ben brought Tyler forward before shoving him back against the wall. 

“That is for trying to sleep with him, when he didn’t want to!”

He slammed him against the wall a third time, Tyler groaning to himself. 

“That is for trying to kill him!”

Before punching him again. 

“And that is for breaking him!!”

Tyler whined to himself, as Ben took him from the wall, pushing him towards the living room. Ben stopped before Callum could see them both, shoving Tyler back up against the wall.

“Now, I’ve got to remain civil with you for Callum’s sake. If it was up to me you’d already be lying in a shallow grave but Callum is a good person! So your gonna do exactly as I say and your gonna tell what I want or I might have to rethink about it. I could get you a good deal on a coffin from Jay actually.”

“Who the fuck is Jay?!”

“Oh right, that’s James to you. Actually you don’t deserve a coffin? If you try and touch Callum again, I swear on my life, I will end you...” Ben hissed in his ear before pushing him round the corner into the living room.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw!!
> 
> Basically the warnings at the top! Mentions of rape... 
> 
> Please don’t read this if it will trigger you!

“Ben! Have you punched him again?!” Callum cried, groaning to himself as he watched Ben dragging Tyler across the living room. 

Ben ignored him, spinning him around facing Callum, gripping onto Tyler’s shoulders. 

“Look at him!” Ben hissed. “Look what you’ve done to him! WHO YOU ARE!!”

Callum stood there, clutching his side, the blood from his neck, staining down his shirt. A new cut on his face, his neck already red, starting to form dark bruises from Tyler’s hands around him, his wrists already a purple colour, no doubt more scattered underneath his shirt. 

“He can’t even stand up straight?!”

Ben dragged Tyler across the living room, throwing him down into the chair Ben had brought in there, tying his hands to the chair. Callum backed away from Tyler, too close, standing in the kitchen doorway, watching Ben.

“Ben, I knew this was a bad idea?!” Callum groaned. 

“Don’t move!” He hissed at Tyler, going back to the kitchen to Callum. 

“I don’t like this, Ben! Not one bit, it’s bad, this is bad! He’s gonna hurt you again, or-or kill you?!”

“Cal, look at me.”

“I can’t go in there. I can’t, I just can’t!” Callum bunched his fists in the front of Ben’s shirt, struggling to breathe. 

“Cal?!” Ben held the sides of Callum’s face getting him to look at him. “Stay here.” 

Callum looked at Ben, sighing lightly. He spoke so softly, his voice washing over him, looking in Ben’s eyes, grounding him, keeping him calm.

“If you don’t wanna go near him, don’t go in there. I’m not gonna let him hurt you again, or let him touch you. I will tell you everything after.”

Callum shook his head slowly, clutching onto the top of Ben’s arms. He knew Ben would never tell him the whole truth if he saw Tyler alone. He Ben would always try and protect him, but Callum needed to know the whole truth. Ben would probably end up killing Tyler of Callum wasn’t there.

“You want to come, with me??”

Callum nodded once, still not sure. 

“I’m not gonna take you in there, if your not comfortable with it.”

“I’m okay, I just want to know the truth...”

“Your definitely sure?” 

“I think so...”

“I won’t let him touch you.” Ben promised. 

Callum wrapped his arms around Ben, burying his head in his neck, trying to calm down. 

Every time he closed his eyes, all Callum could see was that same anger clouding Tyler’s eyes every time he hurt him. 

“Are you definitely sure about this?”

“I hope so. As long as your with me-“

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ben replied instantly.

“I don’t like this one bit. You’ve tied him to a chair, Ben!”

“I know, but I’ve got to get him to tell you the truth somehow.”

“I know...”

“I won’t hurt him, I promise. I know you think I’m being cruel but he’s not gonna tell you anything, the truth, if I just ask him nicely.”

“I know your doing this for me.” Callum nodded. 

Ben searched Callum’s face for a few more seconds, hooking his hand around Callum’s.

Callum nodded, knowing Ben was waiting for him. Checking he was okay with it again.

“You’ve been waiting to jump into bed with Ben, for months!” Tyler hissed, glaring at them holding hands.

Ben dropped Callum’s hand, snapping the ties even tighter against Tyler’s wrists, trying to hold in his whine. 

“I suggest you keep your mouth shut, or your gonna be in a lot more pain.” Ben hissed in his ear.

Tyler glared at Ben, sitting down on the sofa opposite him, hooking his hand back around Callum’s, resting them on his knee.

“Now, I want you to tell me everything. From the start. I ask, you answer. Got it?”

Tyler ignored Ben, glaring at Callum gripping onto Ben’s hand tightly, squeezing so hard it hurt Ben a little. He didn’t care, knowing how terrified Callum was.

Ben clicked his fingers at Tyler, turning his attention back to him. 

“Got it?! You answer to me! I’ve already said you don’t get to look at him anymore. You don’t get to say his name. You don’t even get the right to stay in the same room as him, but all we want is answers! So stop giving him your pathetic evils and your gonna answer every question I ask. Or I will dig that shallow grave I promised.”

Callum looked up quickly at Ben, frowning at him. He’d never heard him mention anything about killing him? 

Ben squeezed his hand gently, silently promising that he wouldn’t do anything. He’d already swore to Callum he wouldn’t hurt him. He could still threaten Tyler if he liked.

“Have. You. Got. It?” Ben asked him again.

“Of course.” Tyler overly grinned.

“Why, Callum?? Why pick, do you even pick a person in that sick mind of yours? Why choose to manipulate him, when Callum is good?!”

“Pick?? Are you insane? I haven’t manipulated anyone!”

“Yes, you have!!” Ben stood up abruptly, Callum dragging him back down again. 

“Ben...” Callum whispered. 

Ben nodded once, trying to keep himself calm.

“You don’t realise how much you’ve damaged him do you?!”

“Callum doesn’t look very damaged to me?! Look at him, staring at your hands together! He’s lying to you, so you feel sorry for him and have him instead of me!”

“It’s not like that!” Callum whined, desperately looking at Ben. 

“I said you don’t get to say his name!” Ben hissed. “I know it’s not.” He spoke so softly to Callum, so different to how he was with Tyler. “I know your not lying about any of it.”

Callum nodded slowly, squeezing Ben’s hand gently. 

“You know what I feel sorry for?? Callum being stuck with you for nearly two years!”

Callum still stared at their hands together, the only thing keeping him from not breaking down again. He couldn’t look at Tyler, knowing he’d see exactly what he saw in his eyes every time Tyler hurt him. That same anger. That same glimmer in his eye when he hurt Callum. Callum tried to focus on Ben lightly stroking his thumb across his hand, attempting to comfort Callum. It did keep him calm just a little. Ben could feel Callum’s body shaking, sitting as close as possible to Ben, pressing his side against Ben’s.

“I wanna know exactly what you’ve lied about?” Ben pressed on with his mission, watching Tyler’s gaze keep flicking over Callum, smiling at him. 

“You think this is funny?! Look at me, you bastard!”

Tyler turned his attention back to Ben, knowing exactly how to make Callum break a little more.

“He was too easy, too trustyworthy. He was just glad someone was paying him some attention! Did you see him that first night I met him?! He was all over me! Giggling at every word I said like a child. Buying us drink after drink, to what? Try and buy me?! Can anyone be too kind?? He’s pathetic.” Tyler spat. 

Callum flinched at Tyler’s words, aiming them straight at him. 

“Callum IS kind and maybe you’d see that, if your mind wasn’t so twisted!” Ben hissed. He was so close to throwing himself at Tyler again, but stopped himself, knowing Callum needed him next to him even more. Ben ran his free hand down Callum’s thigh, trying to soothe him. He knew it was pointless, but wanted to try anyway. Ben didn’t want Callum here in the first place but knew he needed to hear the truth from Tyler, himself. He squeezed his other hand, still stroking him lightly. 

“Oh!” Tyler laughed, smiling at the memories. “When he brought me to meet you... He was so excited, I didn’t see what was so exciting in my opinion! Why was he so desperate to tell you? Like you were his mother??!! But, you wanna know the best thing about it?! He didn’t see how your heart broke.” He spat. 

Callum looked up at Ben, feeling so guilty how he’d never noticed, but Tyler had? He broke Ben’s heart? He didn’t know why he never noticed.

“How you looked so crushed, that you couldn’t keep your precious ‘friend’ all for yourself.”

“I do NOT, want to keep Callum for myself! YOU did that!”

“Not got anything to say, Callum??” Tyler smiled. “Not a sorry for breaking your best friend’s heart?! Now that is cruel...”

Ben dropped Callum’s hand, standing up again, glaring at Tyler. 

“Stop talking to him!! I swear to God I will kill you!! You answer to me!”

“Although, your clearly not besties now? Isn’t it all a bit too sweet, falling in love with your best friend? I’d say it’s cute but it makes me sick. Ah, well you can be best friends and have him as your boyfriend? He’s a good fuck. Well, average...” Tyler grimaced. “Have my left overs...”

“Don’t you want me to punch you?!”

Ben took a step forward, Callum grabbing his hand. “Ben!” Before pulling him back down next to him again. “Calm down...”

“I left you with him at that club we found, Cal! When I didn’t hear from you all night? Why did I leave you with him?! Why did I ever let you stay with him?!”

“Club?? Ohh! The night I had to carry Callum home, cos he drank way too much? I may have made him drink a little too much...” “You bastard!” Ben cried. Callum finally looked at Tyler, frowning at him. “That’s why I couldn’t remember anything... You plied me with drinks...”

“That’s where your wrong lover boy.”

Callum squeezed Ben’s hand tightly, stopping him from getting up again.

“What did you do to me...” Callum whispered. 

Tyler smiled at Callum, shrugging.

“I knew you were already wasted after boozing with him.” He spat. “So what’s a couple more, added with some... extra spice shall we say? Added flavour...” Tyler nodded, triumphantly.

Ben’s hand loosened in Callum’s grip, suddenly dawning on him what Tyler meant.

“I was right! You did follow us! Callum was spiked!! By you!! YOU BASTARD!!” Ben cried.

“Aaand you get it!!” Tyler laughed. “I’d clap but...” Tyler nodded to the ties, grinning at Ben. 

“You spiked my drink?!” Callum stood up this time, running his hands through his hair, shaking his head. “I couldn’t remember because you drugged me?!” Ben stood up next to Callum, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. 

“No!” Callum shrugged Ben off him, spinning around to face Tyler. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!“ He cried.

“Woah, a little fire? This is new? For a change, instead of you being weak!” 

“Tell me! Or I will let him kill you?!” Callum cried, needing to hear it from Tyler’s mouth.

“Not yourself? Haven’t got the balls?”

“Tell me what you did to me?!?!”

“Well, I knew you’d be too wasted to do anything else with me, so I came up with my ingenius plan to add a little something extra to your drinks so I could help you? I was helping Callum? Don’t you understand?! I had to get you into bed somehow?”

Callum slapped Tyler round his face, Ben actually grinning at him.

“You SICK, TWISTED, LYING, BASTARD!!” Before slapping Tyler again.

“You raped him!” Ben seethed.

“You plied me with drinks to get me to sleep with you?! Drugged me?!”

Callum slumped down onto the sofa, struggling to breathe.

“Cal? Look at me, please just look at me?” Ben held the sides of Callum’s face, lifting his head up, staring at his lap. Ben turned his head up gently, getting him to look at him.

“He made me sleep with him...” He whispered, his eyes flicking between Ben’s.

“Technically I didn’t make you?! You let me??” Tyler piped up, enjoying this a little too much.

“Shut your mouth! He didn’t have much of a choice did he?!” Ben hissed at Tyler, before looking back at Callum, panting to himself, desperately trying to draw in enough air. “I thought he only tried to force me earlier?!” Callum whispered.

Ben pulled Callum to him not bothering that Tyler was watching them both, stroking the back of his hair. Tyler could have made Callum sleep with him so many times before and he wasn’t there to protect him.

“Since we’re all being honest here, can I tell you something else?” Tyler smiled.

“You need to shut your mouth!” Ben hissed.

“Thought I was meant to be telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Something like that, never been to court...” Tyler frowned to himself, trying to work it out. “Come on Ben, make your mind up?”

“If you don’t shut that fucking mouth of yours, I will kill you regardless of what Callum says...”

“No...” Callum pulled away, hooking his around Ben’s again. “I want to know all the truth. Tell me what you’ve got to say...”

“You sure?” Tyler grimaced. “Your not gonna like it...”

“Just tell me, what else you did to me?!?!” Callum cried, standing up again.

“Not to you...”

Callum clenched his jaw, gripping onto Ben hands by his side tight enough to make his knuckles turn white, probably hurting Ben a little.

“Tell! Me!”

“I. Killed. Bailey.” Tyler smiled.

“YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!” 

Ben actually jumped as Callum punched Tyler square across his face.

Callum shook his fist, turning around to face Ben. “Ow?”

Ben took Callum’s hand in his own, looking at it, his knuckles slightly red.

“Man, that felt good...” Callum whispered, Ben glancing up at him.

“Jeez, who knew what anger you have in you!” Tyler groaned anyway, blood dribbling down his face, still grinning at Callum. “I‘d say it was quick, but it was probably... a liiitle painful... Actually VERY painful...”

Tyler groaned when Callum spun round punching him again, blood running down his hand this time. And a third time, straight across Tyler’s face.


	54. Chapter 54

“I think that’s enough, Cal?!” Ben pulled Callum away from Tyler, wrapping his arms around him, stil trying to get to him.

“He killed Bailey!” Callum whined into Ben’s neck.

“Sssh, I know...” Ben laced his hand through Callum’s hair, holding his head to him, stroking him gently. Callum was so angry two seconds ago and now he was sobbing into his neck. “I’m so sorry, Cal...”

Tyler tipped his head to the side, groaning to himself, his face a mess. Ben had already punched him twice and knocked him out. Now Callum had punched him three times too.

“I needed him!” Callum moaned.

Ben held Callum a little tighter, pressing small kisses to his hair.

“I needed Bai when HE HURT ME!!” Callum pulled away, glaring at Tyler.

“Come on, I think we just need to clean you up.” Ben tried.

“No!” Callum shrugged Ben off him, standing in front of Tyler. “Why would you do that?!” 

“Why’d you think?!” Tyler seethed.

“He didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Your sick.” Ben hissed. “You even killed an innocent animal so Callum would pay you more attention!”

“Sick? You’ve both just practically attacked me!”

Ben wrapped his arm around Callum’s front, trying to hold him back.

“You deserve to die not Bailey!” Callum shouted, straining in Ben’s grip. He was already exhausted and tired, Ben didn’t have to try very hard to hold him back. 

“Do it then.” Tyler smiled. He lifted his head up looking at Callum. Blood was dribbling down his face and neck from his head, his cheek, wherever Ben and Callum had both hit him.

“Show Ben who you are too. We’re not that different, Callum!” Tyler laughed. “Everyone’s got the other, dark side to them! You can’t be nice all the time, Callum!”

“Callum isn’t sick and twisted like you!” Ben hissed.

Callum shrugged Ben off him, squatting down in front of Tyler, smiling at him. 

“You know what?”

Tyler glared at him, knowing he couldn’t get to Callum with his hands tied.

Ben glanced between them, ready to pull Callum off Tyler if he tried again. He knew Callum would regret it when he calmed down, Callum would never enjoy anyone hurting.

“Death would be the easy way out.” Callum whispered.

Tyler glared at Callum, standing back up again, taking Ben’s hand in his own.

“I hope your very happy together.” Tyler overly smiled a sarcastic grin.

“You think you’ve won, hurt me enough to break me. But Ben made me realise its more than just me? I do have a family. But I won’t break as long as I have my family. And Ben’s my family.”

Ben smiled at Callum, squeezing his hand gently.

“You know what I feel sorry for?! Actually scrap that, I don’t give a shit. Because you have no one! You thought you’d try and keep me instead?”

Ben squeezed his hand a little tighter, he could feel Callum shaking next to him, still pressing his side against Ben’s.

“But I’m not gonna let you ruin my life anymore. You deserve to be punished for being a sick, twisted, delusional, pathetic man that deserves no one!”

Callum dragged Ben with him into the kitchen, needing to get out of there, throwing his arms around his neck, choking out his sobs into Ben, letting his tears fall again.

“Sssh, your okay.” Ben soothed. “I’m so proud of you.”

“For what?! Punching him?!” Callum moaned, burying his head in Ben’s neck.

“No, for telling him you won’t be broken, that you won’t let him ruin you life. Not showing him you were afraid.”

“I am, Ben! He has ruined my life and I’m scared!”

Ben sank to the floor, unable to hold Callum up anymore, wrapping his arms around him as tight as he could, Callum sobbing into Ben’s neck.

“I’m so scared...”

“I know...” Ben whispered, pressing small kisses his neck. “That’s why I said for not showing him. I know your scared, Cal, but he’s not gonna hurt you anymore. I swear to you, your gonna get better.”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, burying his head further into Ben’s neck.

“I can’t, Ben... I don’t think I can...”

Ben stroked Callum’s hair back, trying to calm Callum down, struggling to breathe. 

“Your gonna get through this. I’m gonna help you, I swear I’ll do anything, if you ask me. I’ll stay with at all times if that makes you feel safer, I’ll take Tyler to wherever you me to. Whatever you say, I’ll do it.”

“I just want you now...” Callum whispered, pressing a kiss to Ben’s neck.

“I know. And I’m here, I’m always gonna be here, I’m never gonna leave you, or hurt you.”

“I don’t wanna do it anymore, Ben!”

“Please don’t say that...” Ben whispered. “You’ve got me to look after you, I want to help stop you hurting.”

“You can’t!” Callum whined.

“I can try!” Ben pulled away holding Callum’s face in his hands, sighing at the cuts and bruises on his face, looking even worse now, it had been a couple of hours.

“You don’t know what it’s been like, everyday. I was so scared that he was gonna kill me one day and he did try, you were there! He had that blade against my throat and I thought he was gonna kill me! And I would have let me, to keep you safe... I would have let him if it meant that you’d get to live... He doesn’t want you? He just wanted you to hurt if he knew he’d taken me away from you. He would never have killed you, wanting you to feel the pain if he did kill me. I knew he’d leave you alone if I died...”

“Please don’t say this?! I don’t want you to die, Cal!”

“He’s still gonna want to hurt you if I’m here...”

Ben wiped away Callum’s tears, both of them crying now. “I love you...” Ben whispered, searching Callum’s eyes. They were so dull, no sparkle in them like there used to be. Tyler had truly broken him. “I can’t lose you, Cal! I love you so much and I can’t live without you!”

“He hurt me... He hurt you... He drugged me... He killed my dog... and I let him sleep with me...” Callum whispered. Ben squeezed his eyes shut, Callum admitting the truth out loud.

“And you didn’t want to did you?”

“I didn’t say no...” He sobbed. “I didn’t want to, but I still let him... I didn’t say no, I didn’t push him off, I just let him do whatever he wanted to me!”

Ben pressed a kiss to Callum’s forehead, pulling him to him, whining into Ben’s neck.

“He’s right! I am weak! I am-“

“Hey! Stop it! Your anything but weak! You are strong, Cal. So so strong to get through the last few years, even stronger to say all those things to Tyler when you were hurting so much. I know you still are but you are NOT weak, Cal. You hear me? Your the strongest person I know.”

“I just it all to go away...”

“There’s no point in me telling you it will go away, because it’s always going to be with you, what Tyler did to you, but I’m gonna be here for you know matter what.”

Ben held Callum’s face gently in his hands, looking at him, his eyes still wet with more unshed tears.

“Whatever you decide, I’m here. Whatever you decide, I’ll do it. And whatever you decide, your not gonna get hurt anymore.”

Ben nodded at Callum, Callum nodding slowly too.

“I’m gonna do everything to protect you.”

Ben pressed another kiss to his forehead, standing up and holding out his hands.

“I don’t wanna go in there again!”

“Your not.” Ben replied instantly.

Callum looked at him for a few more seconds, needing to be sure, before placing his hands in Ben’s, looking up at him, still kneeling on the floor.

“I just want to look at your hand.” Ben nodded, glancing at Callum knuckles.

Ben pulled Callum up, wrapping his arms around, keeping him close.

“I am proud of you. For everything. Because I love you and whatever you do I’ll be proud. And I’m proud to know you, because you are amazing, Cal. Anyone would have the privilege of knowing you and I’m glad that your my friend, my best friend, or whatever this is.”

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, burying his head in Ben’s neck, breathing him in.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ben? And I’ll always be your best friend. You know I love you, like properly love you and I wouldn’t be able to do the things I have if you weren’t here or I didn’t know you.” Callum pulled away, looking at Ben. “And I do want us to be more, but I can’t. Not now... I don’t know if I ever will be able to...I can’t do what normal people do...”

“We’re not normal are we?” Ben smiled at Callum, brushing his hair from his eyes. “I don’t care, as long as your here, that’s all I want. For you to be safe and happy and to know you are loved by so many people. I don’t need to wait for you? Because there’s nothing to wait for, your here right now and I’m going to look after you and I will keep you safe. I will and do love you and I’m gonna try my absolute hardest to make you happy again.”

Callum smiled to himself, hugging Ben a little tighter.

“Thank you. I love you so much.” Callum whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise sooner...”

“Don’t be. I love you too.” Ben pressed a kiss to Callum’s neck, neither of them wanting to let go.

“I know what you mean now, when you kept telling me that I needed to open my eyes. Cos you were right there, Ben. And if I’d have realised sooner that you loved me, then all of this would probably never have happened...”

Ben pulled away, taking Callum’s hand in his own, looking at it. Starting to bruise, the blood drying around his knuckles.

“You don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future? And I didn’t say that cos I wanted you to love me back, well course I do, but I was too scared to tell you I loved you cos I didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“I think I always have felt the same way.” Callum smiled.

Ben ran Callum’s hand under the tap, red raw, wincing slightly at the pain.

“Sorry.” Ben winced. “I know it hurts, but it’ll feel better after. I just wanted you to try and work it out yourself, cos I was too scared, but you never had the chance. What was that about no hitting him?” Ben smiled, washing his hand.

“Couldn’t help it...” Callum winced.

“Deserved it anyway.” Ben shrugged, concentrating on cleaning Callum’s hand. “I know you want it all to go away, but he’s still in the other room. What do you want to do? Cos you know I’ll do whatever you want, you need.”

“I dunno... I know what you want to do?” Callum raised his eyes at Ben.

“It’s not what I want though. But I think that you really don’t want to hurt him-“

“Erm, your cleaning my hand cos I punched him??”

“I meant literally kill him or something. I think you should just take him to the police, cos I reckon deep down that that’s what you’d want. For him to face up to what he’s done.”

Callum nodded, smiling at Ben. “You can be quite wise when you want to be.”

Ben smiled at Callum, heading to the freezer, grabbing some peas and wrapping them in a towel. “Stick them on them, it shouldn’t be too bad after. I only save my wise words for you, Cal. Just want you to do what’s right for you. So, taking him to the police then??”

Callum shrugged, holding the makeshift ice pack to his hand, looking at the floor.

“You don’t wanna do that?” Ben frowned, lifting Callum’s chin up to look at him.

“I’ve already told you, I didn’t want anyone else knowing... And I really don’t think I can sit there and tell some random stranger about everything that has happened today, let alone all of it...”

“I’ll be with you. I promise. And these people will want to help too, they’re not gonna hurt you.”

“What if they think I’m lying...” Callum whispered. “Cos Tyler’s not just gonna admit it all is he?! He’s gonna lie even more and say I lied...”

“They’ll believe you. Anyone would. And I was there when all this happened, a witness??”

“But your bound to say its all his fault? The police will see it that way?!”

“You’ve got your whole family that will vouch for you, they’d know you’d never lie about something like this? And Jay knows about it all anyway, he’ll still want to help. And the police will believe you too. I’m sure of it. Why don’t we just take him and let the police deal with him, then he’ll be gone from your life forever.”

“That’s all I want...” Callum whispered.

“And I know he’s still gonna be stuck in your head, but it will get better, I promise you.”

Callum nodded, wrapping his arms around Ben again, hugging him tightly.

“Are you sure you want to go back in there? I can take him myself, promise I won’t kill him?”

“No, I need to do it.” Callum nodded, hooking his hand back around Ben’s.

Ben nodded, both of them heading back to the living room.

They both looked at each other, both of them looking back at the chair, staring at it.

“Where is he...” Callum whispered, squeezing Ben’s hand even tighter.

“Erm, that I’m gonna have to get back to you on...” Ben whispered.

“He’s gone, Ben! How did you not tie his hands properly!!“ Callum cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for this chapter again, it’s really bad and I am seriously considering to stop writing for awhile? I don’t think my head is in the right head space right now and it is showing through my writing at the moment. 
> 
> I just don’t know, I change my mind every five minutes and don’t know what to do. So I’m really sorry to everyone who does enjoy this fic and support me. 
> 
> I haven’t made a final decision but I’m tipping over onto the not writing side right now. And a few comments have tipped me over that side more, so I don’t know, I really am sorry...


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m so so sorry, it has taken me months and months to post an update to this. You all know I took a break months ago cos of some comments that knocked me. I was just never confident to try and post another chapter when I came back. I‘ve decided to try and finish this fic if I can, cos I do hate myself for leaving you all hanging. I know a lot of you will hate me cos I left it like that, but I am determined to write what I want and hope it’s okay for you all. You might wanna go back and refresh yourselves abit?

“Nonono, Ben, he can’t be gone!”

Ben turned back around, looking at Callum holding onto his chest like couldn’t breathe. 

“I’m not gonna let him hurt you again, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that!” Callum cried, sinking down onto the sofa. 

Ben sat down next to him, not sure how he was supposed to help. 

“Cal, Cal? Look at me.”

Callum shook his head, wringing his hands together. “He’ll come back, Ben! And he’ll finish what he started! He’ll just try and kill me!”

Ben took Callum’s face in his hands, making him jump.

“I’m not gonna let him touch you ever again, yeah? You hear me?”

“You can’t stop him, Ben?! He isn’t like that, it’s like he knows what your thinking or gonna do? He’ll always be one step in front of you?”

“Then I’m just gonna have to be two steps in front of him, aren’t I?”

“I’m gonna have to go back...”

“Your not going anywhere near him, Cal?”

"I haven’t got anywhere else to go? He sold my flat...”

“Hey, this is your home? It always has been and your always welcome here.”

“I can’t, I can’t do this...” Callum whispered, staring out in front of him, like he was in a trance. 

“Do you want me to go and look for him, if it makes you feel better about not knowing where he is?”

“No!” Callum cried, grabbing Ben’s hand. “You can’t go looking for him, you don’t know what’s he like?! He’ll hurt you even more than he did today!”

“Okay, okay.” Ben nodded, stroking his thumbs across his hand, trying to calm him down. “I’m staying here with you?”

“Don’t go anywhere? He’s already hurt you once, I’ll never forgive myself if he did something worse?”

“I’m not.” Ben replied instantly, trying to reassure him. “It’s just you and me. No one else.”

“No one else...” Callum whispered, trying to convince himself. 

“Your safe.” Ben whispered. 

Callum nodded slowly, looking up at Ben, trying to ground himself. 

“You can stay here for as long as you want.” 

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you...”

“Your never gonna have to find that out. He’d be stupid to show his face around here again.” Ben whispered, noting Callum’s gaze towards the front door.

“He will, Ben. If it’s later or tomorrow or months? He’s gonna come back, I know it. And he’ll try and get to you too, I can’t let that happen...”

“Hey, don’t you worry about me, I can look after myself. I just want you to be okay.”

“I don’t know if I will be, Ben? Tyler has practically taken everything away from me, I mean, you only heard some of the stuff he did to me...”

“You are so much stronger than you think, you will get though this, one step at a time, yeah? And I’m always here if you want to talk about it.”

“I can’t, Ben? Not now. I don’t know if I ever will be.” Callum whispered. “And I know I said I love you, cos I do, you’ve done so much for me, but I can’t-“ Callum cut himself off, not wanting to upset Ben. 

“Go on.” Ben nodded, offering him a small smile. 

“I can’t do this right now. I can’t just jump from Tyler to you like that. I can’t be with you like that. I’m sorry, you’ve practically waited for me for forever and now I can’t give that to you?”

“Don’t ever apologise for protecting yourself? I wasn’t expecting to be with you or presume we were together or sleep together or any of that stuff-“

Callum looked up quickly, a panicked expression flashing across his face. 

“I can’t do that either!”

“I know, I know.” Ben nodded quickly. “I promise, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. You can stay in my room, I’ll stay down here.”

“I can’t ask you to do that for me?”

“You aren’t asking, I’m doing this for you. You do what you need to.”

“I need it all to stop...”

Ben held the side of Callum’s face, wiping away his tears, starting to slip down his face. 

“I can’t change what has happened, I wish I could, cos I would in a heartbeat, but I can promise to keep you safe, yeah?”

“I need you to promise me, you won’t go looking for him?”

“I promise, I’ll do whatever you want, whatever way you want to do it and whenever you want me to.”

Callum nodded, seemingly satisfied. 

“Why don’t you try and get your head down for a bit, upstairs. Today has been so hard for you.”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna repay you for everything you’ve done for me. You literally saved my life today...” Callum trailed off, trying to remind himself of what Tyler had tried to do. 

“I don’t want anything from you.” Ben smiled. “You head upstairs, have a shower or get some sleep. I’ll bring a drink up.”

“Thank you.” Callum whispered again, not realising he was still holding Ben’s hand. “Your the only person I know I can trust right now...”

~*~

Ben sighed to himself, when Callum disappeared upstairs, wincing at the slight pain where Tyler had punched him. 

It was like Callum was a completely different person, inside and out, Tyler manipulating every part of him, turning him into who Tyler wanted him to be. 

Ben looked at his phone, practically a hundred messages from Jay, trying to make sure they were both okay. He shot a quick text, for him to meet him at the house, before grabbing a glass of water for Callum. 

“It’s just me.” He spoke softly, making sure he didn’t scare Callum. 

Callum looked up, making sure it was just Ben, watching him sit on the floor next to him. 

“What you doing on the floor, eh?” Ben whispered, handing Callum the glass. 

“I couldn’t sleep in the bed...”

Ben looked at Callum, resting his head against the wall, closing his eyes. 

“Not when he was gonna make me-“ Callum cut himself off, quickly wiping his eyes. 

“You don’t need to say it.” Ben nodded. 

“Not like he’s not done it before...” Callum whispered. “Forcing me to sleep with him. I was just too stupid to realise.”

“You ent stupid, he manipulated you.”

“Same thing.” He sighed.

Ben looked at Callum, shuffling closer to him, resting his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” Ben whispered. 

“He spiked my drink once I know that, but I don’t know how many times he actually did, do I? He’d have done it all over again today without anything to make sure I didn’t know, if you haven’t have come in??”

“It wasn’t you fault, Cal? Please don’t blame yourself.”

“All of this is my fault... If I’d have just seen what he was like from the start, we wouldn’t be here like this? I’m tired of everything, tired of it all...” 

“You didn’t make him do any of it? He isn’t like you, you are good and you love with all your heart not manipulating someone or something into what you want.”

Ben looked at Callum, ignoring him, falling asleep on his shoulder. He looked so exhausted, a bruised face from where Tyler had hurt him. 

“I swear I’ll look after you.” Ben whispered, holding his hand gently, also cut from the punches he gave Tyler. “Cos I’ll kill him if he touches you or comes round here again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, thanks for picking it up where I left off, if you got this far and thank you for all the support I always get on my fics from all the lovely people in here. I know some people have unbookmarked it cos I sort of gave up on myself too, but I want to write this fic again, cos I kept having ideas for it recently and needed to write it somewhere! Let me know if you still want me to carry this on?
> 
> This is sort of my New Years gift to you all ;) 
> 
> Love, East02End Xx


	56. Chapter 56

Ben looked up at Jay walking slowly into the bedroom.

“You weren’t downstairs, so presumed you...”

Jay trailed off, his gaze landing on Ben, on the floor with Callum. 

“What the hell, Ben?! Look at the state of your face? And Callum?!”

“Sssh, he’s dead jumpy and keeps waking up, keep it down, yeah? I’m fine, not so sure about Cal though?”

Jay sat on the edge of the bed, taking in the state of them both. 

“What happened? Did Tyler do this?”

“What do you think?” Ben sighed. “He nearly killed him, Jay? I nearly lost him forever...”

Jay looked at the long cut across Callum’s neck, still resting his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“You managed to save him though?”

“Not really? I couldn’t do anything but watch... he had this blade against his throat, finding it so satisfying that Callum was gonna die in front of me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so terrified in my life, let alone what Callum was going through. Callum managed to talk him down, told him he’d go back with Tyler.”

“And you?”

“I’m fine, honestly, I’m more concerned about Callum right now, I don’t care about myself.”

“He’s not right in the head?”

“You think? That ent even the worst if it. He was gonna try and sleep with Callum before he killed him anyway, he even killed Bailey just cos it annoyed him?? And that night I was convinced Callum was spiked, it was him all along?”

“I can’t believe Callum’s had to go through that for nearly two years of his life? Where did Tyler go anyway?”

“Long story short, he tried to kill Callum, we had a fight and I knocked him out, managed to get it all out of him and he escaped. Callum’s terrified he’s going come back to finish the job?”

“The police can give him special protection or something can’t they?”

“No, we can’t do that, Jay? He’s adamant he doesn’t want anyone else knowing and if we go to the police, he’ll never trust us again. He doesn’t know who to trust right now, let alone us abusing that trust?”

“Ironic choice of words.” Jay huffed. 

“Yeah well, we need to tread carefully, he already thinks he’s got nowhere to go? I told him he’s staying here but he won’t sleep in the bed cos Tyler tried to force himself on him. He’s already broken him, I don’t want us to be the ones to go and make it worse. That’s why we’re on the floor, makes him feel safer here. Swear to me your not gonna do anything until Callum wants to?”

“You know I won’t.” Jay nodded. 

“Good. Cos I can’t lose him again, he’s too fragile to be on his own now.”

“I’ll swap these duvets for him, might make him feel a little better.”

“Thanks.” Ben smiled, looking at Callum, jumping in his sleep again. “I’d do it, but I can’t feel my arm.”

“You stay there with him.” Jay smiled. “At least he’s free now, you can help him to start to build his life again.”

“I wish it was that easy. He’s totally broken, Jay...”

“If anyone can help him, you will. You’d do anything for him.”

“I just wish I could turn back time and never take him to that stupid club. He was so happy before that. He was Callum...”

“This isn’t your fault either? It was just a night out with you, you didn’t know that this would all happen. You’ll find him again, I know it.”

“I hope so...”

~*~

Callum jumped, looking up at Jay, sorting the bed out. 

“Hey, your alright?” 

Callum looked at Ben, relaxing slightly at his voice.

“It’s just Jay.” Ben nodded, trying to calm him down, looking terrified. 

“I kept thinking about him, then I woke up and saw Jay...”

“It’s okay.” Ben whispered. 

“They’re was a small second where I thought none of it was real, then it comes crashing back all over again...”

“I wish I could take away everything your feeling.”

Jay sighed, looking at Callum burying his head into Ben’s chest, sobbing to himself. 

“I’m sorry.” Jay mouthed. 

Ben shook his head at Jay, wrapping his arms around Callum. It wasn’t his fault, Callum was already nervous to begin with. 

Ben kept shushing him gently, Callum gripping onto Ben, crying into him, struggling to breathe. 

“I promise your safe.” Ben whispered, rubbing down his back. 

“I can’t do it, Ben! I can’t do any of this?!”

“You can. Just breathe for me, yeah?”

Callum shook his head, trying to breathe, making himself worse. 

“Come on, in and out.”

“I can’t, I can’t...”

“I know you can.” Ben nodded. 

“I know how to breathe, Ben!” He snapped. “I meant living?! I don’t know how to live anymore?!”

“You can’t let Tyler win. Prove to yourself that you are strong, that you can do this, you’ve gotta live for yourself.”

“I’m sorry...” Callum moaned, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I snapped, I’m sorry...”

“Don’t say that. Your hurting, not gonna take it personally.” Ben smiled, Callum still shaking his head and muttering he was sorry. 

“Your safe now, I promise.” Ben whispered. 

Callum ignored him, sobbing to himself again, holding onto Ben. 

Ben didn’t let him go, letting him get it all out, closing his eyes. It broke his heart that Callum was so broken. 

Callum ended up lying with his head in Ben’s lap, sniffling to himself, going quiet. 

“You okay?” Ben whispered, stroking his hair slowly. It was probably a stupid question, but knew Callum would know he meant after his cry. 

Callum nodded instead, roughly drying his eyes. 

“You’ll be okay eventually.” 

Callum looked up at Ben, searching his eyes. “I don’t know...”

“You will be. And I promise I’ll be here, I’m not gonna let him or anyone for that matter, hurt you?”

“I’ve been so horrible to you and now your being so nice to me...”

“Wasn’t you fault you didn’t come to see me much is it? Everything was him. You’ve got to understand that none of this was your fault. And know that I’ll never blame you for any of it, your still my best friend after all.” Ben smiled, running his fingers through Callum’s hair. 

“Yeah.” Callum whispered, offering Ben the smallest smile. 

“Jay’s swapped the stuff on the bed for you. Why don’t you get off the floor and get some rest? You’ve had the worst day.”

“You think?” Callum sighed, sitting himself up anyway. 

“It might not help a lot, but I think you should try? I’ll leave you here for abit.”

“Stay?” Callum said quickly, looking at Ben. “I don’t wanna be on my own yet...”

“You sure?”

Callum nodded quickly, waiting for Ben for answer. 

“I just want this day to be over for you...”

Ben lay on the bed, facing Callum, lacing his hand around his when he was asleep. 

He stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up, curling his hand around Ben’s, frowning to himself in his sleep. 

“I’m gonna get you back.” Ben whispered, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “I need you to be okay...”


	57. Chapter 57

“How are you this morning?”

Callum ignored the question, wrapping Ben’s dressing gown around him, sitting down opposite him at the table. 

“You weren’t there when I woke up?” He whispered. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to stay or not.”

“I feel so guilty you slept on the sofa in your own house.”

“It’s your home too now.”

Callum ignored that part, looking up at Ben. 

“I meant I didn’t wanna sleep with you sleep with you yesterday? I don’t know about anything else right now. Just wanted you to stay with me, lie with me.”

“I know you don’t. There’s tea here if you want it.”

“I know it’s what you want. It’s what everyone always wants.”

“Hey, don’t you worry about that. I’m not him.”

Callum closed his eyes, sighing to himself. “I know, I’m sorry. Your nothing like him.”

“You just concentrate on yourself right now.” Ben smiled. 

Ben slid the pot over to Callum, frowning at him just staring at it. 

“What’s wrong? I make a hell of a cup of tea.” He grinned, trying to make him smile. 

“It’s not that. It’s really stupid...”

“I’m listening.”

“He liked it to be perfect in the morning and if it wasn’t right, that’d be it. I’d be walking on eggshells all day...”

“Over some tea??”

Callum shrugged, saying nothing. 

“Well, you can have it how you like now?”

“Every single thing I think about it, look at or do, it always comes back to Tyler. I’m gonna be stuck like this forever aren’t I?”

“It’s still so raw, give it time.”

Callum nodded slowly, looking up at Ben. 

“Can I have coffee instead?”

“Don’t worry I cater for that too.” He smiled, standing up and heading to the kitchen. 

“Didn’t know you had this?” Callum showed Ben, when he came back. 

Ben handed Callum a mug of coffee, cradling it in his hands, putting the photo down, looking at the photo of the three of them, the smallest smile on his face. 

“Course I do. Lex wanted me to frame it, it lives in the middle of the cabinet now, where she can see it.”

“I haven’t seen her for a while...”

“She misses you.” Ben nodded. 

“I can’t, not now, not looking like this. I want to see her though?”

“Course you can. She loves you so much. I can print another off for you, if you want.”

Callum shook his head, neither mentioning the other Tyler had teared in half. “Don’t matter anymore, I wanted it cos I didn’t see you both much...”

“You can now.” Ben nodded.

Callum looked up at Ben, just looking at him for a while. “I missed you, you know? All the time.”

“Me too.” Ben smiled. “Your back now though.” 

“I nicked your dressing gown, by the way.”

“I noticed.” Ben smiled. 

“Mines at his.” Callum whispered. 

“Do you want me and Jay to go and get your stuff for you? You don’t have to go anywhere near him.”

“No, I don’t want either of you going over there? There’s not much worth saving anyway, let him have it all.”

“That’s your stuff?”

“I don’t care? There ent much anyway.” Callum sighed, looking at Ben. “Don’t look at me like that? You don’t need to feel sorry for me?? I just don’t want any of it? Have your dressing gown back if you want it.”

“Keep it.” Ben added quickly. “It’s yours.”

“Thanks.” He whispered. 

“You can have whatever you want or like here, you know? I’m not gonna want it back? Or say no?”

“Don’t, Ben. I don’t wanna do this now. I don’t wanna go over him? Just go to work.” He sighed. 

“I was gonna stay here for today?”

“I don’t need babysitting? At least you’ve got a job to go to? I didn’t ‘need’ one with the money he had apparently...”

“I wasn’t tryna-“

“Just leave it, Ben?! Please!” Callum cried, standing up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Callum sighed. “I shouldn’t have shouted. Again. I’m fine.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“I ent got my phone, that’s at his too...”

“Keep my phone then for today and call Jay if you need me, I’ll be with him at the car lot anyway. You know the password.”

Callum nodded, taking it from Ben, heading back towards the stairs. 

“Do you want me to get you something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.” He whispered, disappearing upstairs. 

Ben sighed to himself, feeling like he should stay but knew Callum didn’t want him to. 

Callum jumped as Ben slammed the front door, walking into the living room, swearing to himself. 

“You came back down?” Ben looked at Callum lying across the sofa, still wearing his dressing gown. 

“No one was in, so I just lay on here. That’s alright isn’t it?”

“Course it is. Sit wherever you like. Thought I’d come and check on you during me lunch. Sorry if I scared you, the wind took the door, I’m working on tryna be quiet.”

Ben sat down next to him, giving him something. 

“What’s this?” Callum frowned, taking it from Ben, not bothering to sit up.

“A new phone for you? It’s yours.”

“I can’t take this, Ben? It looks too expensive.”

“I don’t care, I got it when I was supposed to be working.” Ben smiled. 

“This is how it is, Ben. You buy me something-“

“Don’t think that. I ent gonna ask for anything in return, I swear to you.” Ben nodded. “Here, look.”

Ben took it back from Callum, typing something and handing it back. 

“There. You’ve got me in there and you can add whoever else you like. Family? Friends? Whatever you like.”

Callum wrapped his arms round Ben, burying his head in his neck. “I don’t deserve you?”

“You deserve everything, Cal.” Ben told him, lacing his hand through his hair. 

“I’m sorry.” Callum whispered, closing his eyes. “I keep saying that?”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for?”

“I do? I don’t know why I keep doing it, I know your not like him. I just-“

“Your scared.” Ben whispered. 

“I don’t want to hurt you or say something wrong.”

“You won’t. I promise, yeah?” Ben pulled away, holding his head in his hands. “You don’t need to make sure you say the right thing or do the right thing anymore.”

“I know... I’m scared he’s gonna come back, Ben.”

“It’s not even been a day yet. And I’m pretty sure he even knows to stay away from here.”

“You don’t know that?”

“Not for sure no, but your not on your own. You’ve got me and Jay and I’m gonna help you start over. It’s gonna take time, we both know that, but you will be yourself again.”

“I don’t think I can, Ben.”

“I know you will. I’m not gonna let him take away everything from you. He might have a lot but he hasn’t got you anymore.”

Callum nodded, offering Ben a weak smile. 

“He can’t take away who you are?”

“He’s already done that...”

“Nah, he’s never known the Callum I know.” Ben smiled. “Cos he can’t take away the way you smile when your really happy, or your laugh? He doesn’t know how funny you are or the way you with Lex. Because that is you Callum, not who he wants you to be for him.”

Callum looked at Ben for a while, searching his eyes, pressing his mouth against Ben’s for no longer than a few seconds, pulling away just as quickly. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t? I can’t do this either, not now. I can’t?!”

Ben opened his mouth to speak but Callum had already gone.


	58. Chapter 58

“You didn’t have to leave?” Ben knocked on the bedroom door, bracing his hand over the handle. “Can I come in?”

“If you want...”

Ben crouched down next to the bed, facing Callum. 

“You alright?” 

Callum shrugged, just looking at Ben. 

“I know your confused and your scared.” Ben whispered, stroking his hair out of his eyes. 

“I just feel like I don’t belong anywhere...”

“You belong wherever you want to be. This is your life. You’ll always belong here too, with your friends and family.”

“I can’t give you what you want?”

“I don’t want anything expect you to be safe. And I don’t care about anything else, apart from you right now.”

“You want me to be with you though, I know you do...”

“That was before all this happened.”

“So you don’t now??” Callum frowned. 

“I’m not saying that, all I’m saying is that you don’t need to feel pressured into trying to make me happy. You’ve done enough of that with Tyler? Maybe you should just work out what you want and do things for yourself instead.”

“Cos I know I want everything with you, Ben, but I physically can’t... I wanted to leave him so I could be with you and now I have, I can’t...”

“It’s okay.” Ben whispered, wiping away a tear slipping down his face. 

“It’s not? Cos I want you to be happy and your not if your always treading around me?”

“Who says that you’ve got to go and be with me? Nobody needs a label??”

“I guess not?” Callum sighed. 

“Well then, promise me you’ll stop worrying about what you think I want. You know I love you, I’m not gonna deny that, but all I want is you here and safe. That’s it?”

“Maybe one day?” Callum whispered. “I want to be? You know I do, I just don’t know if I can.”

“Maybe one day.” Ben smiled. “But right now, I’m not going anywhere and I don’t need someone to tell us what we are.”

“Don’t go back to work. I want you to stay here. I thought I’d be okay on my own, but I’m not...”

“I’ll let Jay know then I’ll bring you something to eat. All you’ve had today is cup of coffee and you only half drank that.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Ben hesitated really needing him to eat something but didn’t want to push him. 

“Okay.” He nodded instead. “I’ll be back in a minute, yeah?”

Callum nodded, watching Ben stand back up, taking his hand away from his hair. 

Ben swore to himself, jumping at seeing Kathy standing in the living room. 

“Don’t do that, Mum?! I nearly had an heart attack?!”

“What the hell have you done to your face?!” She cried, rushing over to him. 

“Nothing, I’m fine?” Ben tried, trying to get out of her hands.

“It doesn’t look like nothing?! That why I scared you, you thought who ever had done this to you had come back for round two? What have I told you about getting into fights, Ben?”

“I got mugged alright?! I’m fine, just leave it?”

Kathy frowned at him, letting him go. “One of these days, I’m gonna get a phone call to tell me your in hospital?”

“You won’t?! I’m really fine, Mum.”

“What you doing you back here at lunch anyway, usually go to the Caf at lunch?”

“What is this twenty questions?”

“Is that Callum’s jacket? Is he here??”

Ben sighed, rolling his eyes. “He stayed here last night?”

“Stayed stayed, or?”

“No! He’s split up with Tyler okay? I slept on the sofa?”

“Didn’t like him anyway.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh come on, you’ve both been dancing around each for years? It was bound to happen sooner or later?”

“For crying out loud, Mum, I slept on the sofa?!”

“I’ve always liked Callum. And that Tyler well he always gives me a creepy feeling.” “Pfft, you have no idea.” “No idea about what?” “Nothing, he’s just weird...” “So you’ve moved Callum in?”

“Yeah? We’re all he’s got, Mum...”

“Tyler didn’t kick him out did he, cos that’s be a bit cruel??”

“Err, not as such no, Callum just didn’t wanna be with him anymore?”

“Did he do something??”

“I don’t know all of it?? Haven’t you got work to be going to anyway?” Ben tried, attempting to change the subject. Callum would never forgive him, if Kathy got it out of him somehow.

“Alright, I’m going! I need to get back to the Café anyway, I only came here cos I thought they’d be no one in. Get a bit of peace and quiet. You two... have fun?”

“Seriously, Mum?!” Ben cried.

“I’m kidding? Jeez, I’ll just leave ya to it.”

“Sorry I was a while, Mum came round.” Ben whispered when he walked in, looking at Callum still curled in a ball on the bed. 

“Kathy?? She must have said something about your face?!”

“It’s alright, I haven’t told her anything.”

Callum dropped his head back down, closing his eyes. 

“Told her I got mugged? Only thing I could think of, she was bound to see me before this went away anyway.”

“Sorry, you shouldn’t have to cover for me.” Callum sighed. 

“You don’t want people to know, I get it. It’s fine. All I said was you’d split up with him and moved in here, she’s bound to notice if your here all day.”

Ben crawled across the bed, Callum shuffling over to him and burying his head in his chest.

“You can’t stay in here forever?” Ben whispered, wrapping his arms around him anyway, stroking his hair. 

“I want to?”

“I’m not pushing, but you ent eaten anything all day either. I’m worried about you?”

“You always worry about me.” Callum looked at Ben with the smallest smile. 

“It’s only cos I care.”

“I know. I just don’t feel like eating or doing anything actually? Feel like sleeping is the only way I can escape, even then I can barely get away...”

“Your not trapped anywhere anymore.” Ben nodded. “You can talk to me about anything, you know. It might help, when your ready?”

“I can’t, I’ll only end up crying again.”

“Oh well.” Ben smiled. “Think your entitled to a cry after what you’ve been through. Just think about eating later?”

Callum nodded slowly, dropping his head back down, closing his eyes. 

“I could bring the tub of ice cream up?” He smiled. 

“Yeah?” Callum looked back up at Ben hopefully.

“Is that all it takes to get you to eat?” Ben chuckled, looking at Callum grinning at him. 

“I’ve missed you smiling like that.” Ben smiled, still stroking his hair. 

“I’m waiting for my ice cream?” Callum whispered to him. 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Ben grinned, sliding out bed. 

~*~

Ben handed Callum a spoon and the tub, waiting for him to push himself up and get comfy, before sitting back next to him. 

“I’ve never done this before.” Callum smiled. 

“That is a crime?!” Ben gasped, grinning at Callum. 

“Come on, how many times have you eaten ice cream in bed?” Callum frowned. 

“I’m guilty, okay?! Although I can say I’ve never done this with someone? Usually sit on me todd cos I’m sad like that?”

Ben smiled at Callum, laughing to himself, both of them sharing out the tub. He hadn’t seen Callum laugh like that in months, even before what had happened with Tyler yesterday. 

“Your not sad?? Just... hungry?” Callum frowned to himself.

“To eat a whole tub of ice cream to myself??”

“M-h. Besides I’m technically halving all the calories right now?”

“Good job, I’ve got you here then isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Callum smiled, spooning more ice cream onto his spoon. “I do want to be here, you know?”

Ben looked up at Callum, smiling at him licking the back of the spoon.

“As long as it’s what you want?”

“I just don’t wanna get your hopes or anything cos I can’t even tell myself what’s gonna happen tomorrow or next week.”

“I know.” Ben nodded. “You need to do this at your own pace.”

“Promise me, if you do find someone before I can even start to think about whatever we have, that you’ll still be happy and go for it. With or without me steering your decisions? I just don’t want to be the reason that you don’t find happiness, cos I’m a mess?”

“Your not a mess? Far from it, Cal?”

“Promise??” Callum said again, looking up at Ben. 

“I promise.” Ben nodded, knowing he’d never find anyone else anyway. He’d wait for Callum, for the rest of his life, even if it meant them both just being friends forever. 

“This ice cream isn’t gonna finish itself, either?” Ben grinned, holding the tub out for Callum. 

“I can promise to finish this off with you, though?” Callum smiled.


	59. Chapter 59

Ben lay on his side, looking at Callum, still asleep across the far end of the bed. If he moved anymore, he’d probably fall on the floor. 

Callum would occasionally shuffle over to Ben in the night, curling into him, moving back over far away from Ben at other times he’d had a bad dream or scared himself. 

Callum always looked anxious even when he was asleep, jumping at things in his sleep. 

Ben sighed to himself wishing he could know what Callum was dreaming about, hardly knowing anything about those two years, usually point blank refusing to talk about it. 

“I wish I could make you forget somehow?” Ben whispered to himself looking at Callum making small noises again. 

He kept shaking his head at something, getting restless like he usually did until he woke himself up.

~*~

“Mornin’”

Ben smiled at Callum looking at him through sleepy eyes, stretching slightly. 

“Hey.” Callum whispered, closing his eyes again. 

“How you feeling today?”

Callum shrugged, turning himself over and pulling the cover over his head. 

“You gonna stay here all day again?” Ben sighed. 

“Please don’t start already, Ben...” Callum whispered. 

“I just don’t want you making yourself ill.”

“I’m fine.”

Ben sighed to himself, sliding out of bed. Callum hadn’t even left the house for weeks, refusing to go outside. He’d even barely left the bedroom, only coming down for a drink. 

“Are you in work today?” Callum whispered. 

“Nah-“

“Don’t not go if your staying for me?”

“I’m not. Jay’s got it covered today.”

Callum nodded, watching Ben walk round to his side, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. 

“You sure you don’t wanna come downstairs for a bit?” Ben tried, stroking his loose hair out his eyes. “Get yourself some breakfast. You haven’t eaten for days again.”

Callum shook his head, closing his eyes. 

“Okay.” Ben nodded, knowing better than to keep trying.

“Can you just bring me some water?”

“Course I can. Whatever you want.”

Ben stood up, looking at Callum speaking again. 

“Do you think he’s gonna come back? It’s been weeks.” He whispered. 

Ben sat back down slowly, Callum looking up at him, waiting for an answer. 

“You know I can’t promise, that he won’t definitely come back, but if he did, I really think he’d have shown his face by now.”

“You think he isn’t?”

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay away.” 

“He’s only not come back cos of you. If you weren’t here, he’d have come back again, probably that same day? He said that day I was weak...”

“Your not weak?!” Ben frowned. “Hey, look at me.” He tried. 

Callum sighed, looking up at Ben anyway.

“You are so strong, Cal? Cos you told him you’d had enough. That it was over.”

“Only with your help?”

“That wasn’t down to me? That was down to you standing up for yourself, showing him you weren’t gonna live like that anymore. It was your decision to leave him and now your free from him.”

“I was still weak for staying with him for so long even though I probably knew deep down that he would try and stop me when I did.”

“Stop saying that. Or thinking that? Listen to me, you aren’t weak or anything else he’s told you are. Cos he isn’t worth it. Your worth much more than that. You set him straight and told him you didn’t wanna be with him anymore, not me?”

“I know it been weeks but I’m still terrified all the time that he’s gonna try and kill me again... He already nearly did...”

“I’m not gonna let that happen. Is that why you’re staying in here?”

Callum nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“He wouldn’t hurt you outside, especially with people around.”

“I still can’t go, Ben? Cos there’s always that doubt in my head.” Callum hesitated before looking up at Ben. “I remember once he got really drunk at this restaurant. He was getting a bit too angry, even for him, he was was only usually like that at home.”

Ben looked at Callum staring in front of him, like he was replaying it all over again. He didn’t say anything, Callum didn’t say much about it all very often, keeping it all to himself. 

“I told him to calm down, cos I thought he was gonna hurt the poor waiter guy. I just made him even more angry and he dragged me down this alley way...” 

Callum trailed off, remembering it like it was yesterday. He could still see that look Tyler always had in his eye when he was going hurt him. Sometimes hate. 

“He just told me not to apologise for him...” He said instead.

Ben hated seeing Callum so lost, knowing there more to that story than he was letting on. 

“I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this?” 

“Cos it might help you somehow?”

“Look, my point is, he still hurt me even when there were people around? So what’s stopping him from getting to me now??”

“Cos I’ll be with you or whoever else you want. It doesn’t matter even if you went outside with my Mum?? And she doesn’t know it all. He ent gonna touch you when your with someone else.”

“Maybe another day?” Callum whispered. 

“Whatever you want.” Ben nodded. “At least you slept a little better last night?”

“Yeah, like an extra minute. Used to sleep through til morning, can’t remember the last time I did that."

“Thought you were gonna fall out of bed at one point.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be near you, I just... prefer it sometimes to be on my own.”

“You don’t need to justify yourself to me. I’m okay with this.”

Callum nodded, looking a little better. 

“I do wanna go out with you?”

“Yeah? We can go whenever you like.”

“I just wanna go for a walk though, anywhere, with you, just not today?”

“Whenever your ready.” Ben nodded. 

“Thank you, for understanding?”

“Course.” Ben smiled his gaze falling on the now faded line across Callum’s neck. He was so grateful that Callum was still here, he wouldn’t argue that he didn’t want to go out yet. He was so close to losing him, right in front of him.

“Does it look really bad?” Callum whispered, noticing his gaze.

"Err, no, sorry, I wasn’t-“

“It’s fine.” Callum nodded, lacing his hand around Ben’s. “I know you were scared too. Don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on your face when you thought he was gonna do it.”

“I don’t know what I’d have done if I lost you...”

“I’m still here.” Callum whispered, squeezing his hand. 

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be worrying about me?”

“That’s what we’ve got each for ent it?” Callum smiled. 

“Yeah.” Ben smiled too. He lifted Callum’s chin up gently, getting a better look at it. “You can’t see it that bad anymore. More a small line?”

Callum nodded, looking up at Ben still holding his head softly in his hand, looking at each other for a while. 

“You’ve been so good to me, even before any of this. You’ve always been there for me. Through everything, even though I hurt you too...”

“You didn’t hurt me?”

“I shut you out, virtually stopped seeing you for months on end?”

“That wasn’t your fault, you were forced to do that.”

“I should I have seen it.”

“Seen what?” Ben frowned. 

“That you loved me back then.”

“It doesn’t matter about before.”

“He was right, though, I did break your heart and you were supposed to be my best friend?”

“Hey, what have I told you about thinking he’s right about everything? You didn’t ‘break my heart’, cos you were happy at the time and that’s all I ever want.”

“I know you do.” Callum nodded. 

“And besides you are still my best friend?” He smiled. 

“I am sorry for everything I’ve put you through and not being able to do all this properly now? You gotta know how sorry I am.”

“Don’t apologise to me. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I wanna go through whatever your going through cos I care about you, I just want you to be happy. And I’ve told you I don’t care about doing things ‘properly’? What even is proper?? Everyone’s different. Cos we are and I’m okay with whatever you decide.”

“How come you get to be so good to me.” Callum smiled. 

“Cos I love you.” Ben smiled, lightly stroking across his face gently. 

“Your the only one I can trust.”

“I swear to you I’ll always protect you. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.”

Callum dropped his head back on the pillow, Ben still sitting next to him on the edge of the bed, closing his eyes at Ben’s fingers through his hair, Ben sitting with him, until he fell asleep again.


	60. Chapter 60

“Are you alright, darlin’?”

Ben looked up at Callum, walking slowly through the living room, like he wasn’t there. 

“Hmm?” Callum looked up, looking at Kathy.

“You okay??” She frowned. 

“Yeah, fine.” He whispered, sitting next to Ben on the sofa.

“You sure?”

“I said didn’t I?” Callum sighed to himself, immediately feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t sleep at all.”

“I’m just worried about you, you’ve not been yourself at all for a while.”

“I’m okay.” Callum nodded, trying to keep himself together. 

“I need to pop into the Albert for lunch, call me if you need me?” She aimed at Ben. 

“Will do.”

“I’m sorry.” Callum whispered. “I shouldn’t have snapped at her.”

“She’s worried about you that’s all. She loves you too, you know. Your a part of this family too?”

“I don’t feel like anyone’s family...”

“Well you are to us.” Ben nodded. “At least you’ve come down, that’s something.”

“Thought I best show my face, even if it is lunchtime, or someone will wanna know what’s wrong again and I don’t wanna keep lying.”

“And how are you, really?”

Callum shrugged, resting his head on Ben’s shoulder. “Exactly the same as I was when he was here... Scared, feeling like I wanna curl into a ball and disappear somewhere, not feeling like me? Tryna work out who I was before this... I can’t remember how long ago, I was happy. It’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to be happy. Forgotten what happy is??”

Ben wrapped his arm around Callum, rubbing down his arm. “It will get better.”

“That’s what everyone always says? But does it ever? Or do you just push it that far back in a desperate attempt to forget it? When you can’t? It’s always gonna be there, no matter how long it is or hard you try...”

“You’ve got past the hard part.”

“Which part?” Callum sighed. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“I know I don’t. I meant surely things can only get better from here, even if it’s a tiny bit?”

“I wish I could tell you, but I can’t...”

“You don’t need to. You feel better this way and that’s okay.”

“I just wanna do something normal?”

“What like? We can do whatever you want?”

“I don’t know? What do normal people do?”

“You are normal.” Ben smiled. “How about that walk you suggested the other day?”

“Maybe.” Callum looked up at Ben, nodding slowly. “Okay...”

“You sure? Cos if you don’t want to, I’m not gonna make you?”

“Got nothing else better to do? And your right, it might help somehow. Don’t know how, but I’ll take anything right now.”

“Where to?”

“Erm, nowhere in particular, just for a walk with you?”

They didn’t head in a particular direction, Callum generally going wherever he wanted, Ben following. 

Callum looked up, not realising he’d walked to the park, relaxing a little, looking around. Not many people were there, most either at work or school. 

“Are you alright, you look a bit pale?” Ben frowned, looking at Callum running his hand through his hair. 

“Yeah, just got a bit of a headache.”

“That’s cos your stressin’. You don’t need to, I’m here, no ones gonna touch you.”

“I know.” Callum whispered. “Feel a bit sick actually.”

“Let’s sit down for a bit, yeah?” 

Callum nodded, walking slowly through the park, heading for the bench. 

“You okay??” 

Callum nodded slowly, but let go of Ben’s hand, bracing his hand on the bench, throwing up in the bush next to him. 

“I wanna go home.” Callum whispered. 

“I think you’ve had enough for today?”

Callum stood there for a second, closing his eyes, trying to breathe through his mouth. 

“Do you wanna sit down, instead?”

“Think so...” Callum whispered. Closing his eyes made him feel worse, trying not to gag, making himself feel dizzy. “I don’t-“

He took a quick step in front of Callum, half catching, half guiding him to the floor. 

“Cal?!” Ben looked at Callum, seeing his eyes roll back, just before he fell, as he passed out.


	61. Chapter 61

“Cal?” Ben spoke urgently, not sure what to do. “Come back to me?”

Ben sat on the floor, stroking his hair, trying to get him to wake up. 

“Your okay...” He whispered, looking at Callum finally opening his eyes after what felt like forever. 

“Your alright, you sorta passed out?”

“Sort of??”

“Well you did, but I’m pretty sure I know why?”

Ben slid himself up onto the bench next to them, helping Callum sit next to him. 

“Have you done this before?” Ben frowned. 

“Recently or in the past?”

“I meant cos your not looking after yourself anymore.” Ben whispered, wrapping his arm around Callum, shivering slightly. 

“I’m okay.”

“Your not eating anything?”

“I don’t feel hungry?”

“Your stressed all the time, I know, but you still gotta eat something. Even if it’s just toast or summut?”

Callum nodded, resting his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“I’ve only ever passed out once before.” Callum whispered, staring out in front of him. 

“What, when??”

“That time you came to see me at his house, cos I was sick. I passed out and Tyler looked after me for weeks.”

“Probably found it satisfying, you relying on him.” Ben huffed to himself. 

“Not now, Ben...” Callum sighed. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I just hate knowing that you were stuck with him for so long, I didn’t do anything.”

“You couldn’t, stop blaming yourself. I still thought there was a tiny part of something nice in him then...”

“He’d always lied to you, Cal, about everything. He was controlling you.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think that at the time... besides it went downhill from there didn’t it...”

“I didn’t mean for him to find that photo you know? I didn’t do it so I could be with you then?”

“I know you wouldn’t do that. It just got worse after that though...”

“I’m sorry.” Ben whispered. 

“It’s not your fault? It was my own fault for letting him find it?”

“Maybe it wasn’t so much downhill or worse but the start of you getting out?” Ben nodded, trying to make him feel a little better. 

“I don’t think so?? With him hurting me more.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even begin to imagine what you went through...”

“Stop saying your sorry to me all the time? I don’t blame you, course I don’t??”

“He didn’t just hurt you cos he wanted to did he?”

“If he was in a bad mood, yeah? I used to try and keep him happy and even then...”

Ben laced his hand through Callum’s hair, holding his head to him. He didn’t talk much about what actually often, even then only telling him small parts. 

“It was the opposite when he was happy...” Callum whispered. “Even if I couldn’t be bothered or was tired.”

“You didn’t deserve any of this?” Ben sighed. 

“Can we just go home?” Callum asked, looking up at Ben, waiting for an answer. 

“As long as you’ll stop asking me?” Ben smiled. “You don’t need to ask if we can home, just do it. You don’t need anyone’s permission.”

Callum nodded, standing up next to Ben. 

“It’s just weird, I guess. The opposite of how my life was just a month ago?”

“I know, but it’ll get better from here, I’m sure.”

“Maybe.” Callum nodded, sure hoping Ben was right. 

“Will you eat something?” Ben asked, both walking back to house together. “For me, if not for yourself?”

“I don’t fancy passing out again.” Callum smiled. 

“That a yes?” 

“I refuse to eat the stuff you stick in your sandwiches though?”

“What?! Oh come on, chocolate spread in a sandwich is nice?” Ben grinned. 

“It’s doesn’t belong there! Neither does jam!”

“Fine, have cheese or whatever and be boring.”

“Your like a big kid?” Callum smiled. 

“Yes. I. am.” Ben chuckled. “And you know what, it’s great.”

“Whatever you say.” Callum grinned, shaking his head at Ben. 

“Don’t knock it til you tried it?”

“Think I’ll pass and be boring? At least Lexi eats normal sandwiches and she’s 8?!”

“One day, your actually gonna eat one.”

“I’d like to see you try.” 

Ben smiled at Callum, both walking together, Callum still laughing to himself. It felt like old times, Callum looking happier than he did this morning. 

“I told you the walk will do you good.” Ben nodded. 

“Well apart from the whole passing out thing. But yeah, it has I guess.” Callum nodded, lacing his hand around Ben’s. “Thank you, for making me feel normal, even if it’s just a little.”

“Course your normal.” Ben smiled. “Well, apart from your boring sandwiches...”

“Oi! Watch it, you.” Callum glared, lacing his hand around Ben’s, swinging them together gently.


	62. Chapter 62

“Don’t go shouting, yeah? You’ll scare the life outta him!”

Ben sighed as Lexi squealed running straight through the front door to Callum. 

“Callum! I haven’t seen you for AGES! I missed you.”

Ben smiled at them both, Callum looking happier than he had been all day, not even jumping at Lexi squealing at him. 

“I’ve missed you too, darling.”

“Where have you been? Thought you didn’t wanna see me...” She whispered, looking up at Callum. 

“Course I do, who wouldn’t eh?” Callum smiled, avoiding the question. 

“Daddy said your living with us now. Does that mean your not with Tyler anymore?”

“No I’m not anymore.”

“I didn’t like him.” Lexi frowned. “You always looked sad with him, not like when your with Daddy.”

Ben frowned at Lexi, not quite believing she’d picked up on it, even before. 

“I’ve got no reason to be sad with you around, now haven’t I?” Callum grinned, making her giggle. 

“Are you going to be with daddy now instead?” 

“Lex-“ Ben started. Callum had managed to avoid most of the questions, Lexi not noticing. 

“Erm, I don’t know, darlin’.” Callum said instead. 

“What do you mean? Don’t you love him like I do?”

“Course I do.” Callum glanced up at Ben, Lexi already speaking to him again. 

“Why can’t you be my daddy too then?”

“Who wants hot chocolate?!” Ben said quickly. 

“Me!” Lexi cried, jumping off Callum’s knee. 

“You pick something to watch, yeah?” Ben smiled, giving her the remote. 

Ben nodded to the kitchen, Callum following him. 

“I’m sorry about Lex, she’s just excited cos you’ve moved in.”

“Stop stressing, she said to me once she wanted to me to be with you.” Callum smiled. 

“She did??”

“It must be ages ago now. But I’m tryna tell you to stop worrying, here?”

“Just don’t want her asking something you don’t wanna answer.”

“It’s only Lex, innit?” Callum smiled. 

“As long as your okay?”

“I missed her, I don’t mind. I just wanna do something normal with you both and try and forget about everything else, even if it is just for the duration of a movie.”

“I’m so proud of you, you know?” Ben smiled. 

“For what??” Callum frowned. 

“Everything. You’ve been happier than I’ve seen you for ages, letting yourself move forward. I’m just proud of you, how far you’ve come.”

Callum took a step closer to Ben, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. 

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you.” Callum whispered, burying his head in Ben’s neck. “I mean, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get through the next day after what happened, but I did cos you were with me.”

“I just want you to be happy.” Ben whispered, rubbing down his back. 

“And we both know I’m still far from being even slightly better but your still helping me get there slowly. I’ll always be grateful for that.” 

“Where’s my hot chocolate?!”

Callum pulled away from Ben, turning around, smiling at Lexi. 

“We’re coming, missus?” Callum smiled. 

“Go on, I’ll get these.” Ben nodded, Lexi already grabbing Callum’s hand and pulling him with her. 

“I’m lonely in here.” She frowned at Callum. 

“Lonely?! We weren’t even gone five minutes?” Callum smiled. 

“I haven’t seen you for ages, I need to tell you EVERYTHING.”

Ben smiled at them both disappearing back into the living room, Lexi still telling Callum off. 

“I bet you’ve got loads of stories to tell me.” Callum smiled, sitting next to her on the sofa. 

“Now you’ve moved in, I can talk to you all day long.” She grinned, lying on her back across Callum’s lap, looking up at him. 

“All day?!” He smiled. 

“You’ve got a lot to catch up on.” She nodded. 

“Your gonna have to start from the start then, aren’t you? Just until your Dad gets back with these hot chocolates, cos we’ve got films to be watching?!”

“One time, Daddy let me put make up on him cos you weren’t there. You used to let me do that, but Daddy let me once cos I was sad.”

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I’m here now, yeah?”

“Yep. It was funny though, cos I made him look silly.”

Callum smiled at Lexi, grinning to herself, stretching herself like a star across him. 

“You got a lump stuck on you there, Cal?”

Callum looked at Ben, smiling at them both, placing the three drinks on the coffee table in front of them. 

“Hey!” Lexi frowned. 

“Just a small one.” Callum smiled.

“Oi!” She cried again. 

Ben lifted her legs up, sliding onto the sofa next to them both, Lexi stretching across them both now. 

“Your getting too big for this.” He smiled. 

“Never!”

“You just wait until your 16. You’ll be grossing out at the thought of hugging me anymore.”

“Callum, will you still be living here then?” She frowned, looking up at him. 

“What have I told you about harassing poor Callum?”

“She isn’t, are you darlin’?” Callum smiled. 

“I want you to be.” Lexi sighed. 

“I can’t promise that far ahead. But I will promise to still be here for you.”

Lexi smiled widely at Callum, nicking the remote off him. 

“I see your ulterior motives.” Callum smiled. “Tryna keep me sweet so you can pick what you wanna watch.”

Lexi giggled to herself, stretching herself across Callum and Ben, trying to find a movie on the Tv. 

Ben smiled at them both, Lexi shaking her head every time, Callum pointed a film out for her.

He absentmindedly laced his hand around Ben’s whilst still looking at the Tv, keeping a tight hold on him. 

Ben looked at them both, wishing he could keep them all in this moment forever, Callum not thinking about it all, even if it was just for a small while. He wasn’t stressing or worrying just content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry about these chapters lately, I’ve not been good with them at all. I need to sort myself out! 😂 I’m trying to work on a new fic, this, my one shots and the others. Imma try and make em better, just don’t hate me forever cos ik they’re bad :)) I get too distracted writing new fics :)


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I’ve posted a new multi-chapter fic, but imma make sure to keep this one up. :) Feel free to go check that out ;)

Ben sighed to himself watching Callum jump, waking himself up. 

“You okay?” Ben whispered. 

“I’m fine.” Callum mumbled, dragging himself out of bed. “I need to do something. 

“Now? It’s like six in the morning?”

“I need to do it now before...”

“Before what?” Ben frowned at him, pushing himself up in bed. 

“Nothing, just stay there, I’m fine on my own.”

Ben sighed to himself at Callum disappearing, closing the bedroom door behind him. 

~*~

“This is what you needed to do??” Ben frowned, watching Callum trying to tidy the front room. 

“I want to, okay?”

“It’s a bit messy, but you don’t have to do it now??”

“I do!” Callum turned around looking at Ben running a towel through his hair. He thought he’d shower and get dressed first, not wanting to think he was just checking up on him. 

“Just leave it.” Ben whispered to him, sitting next to him as he sank down onto the sofa. “You were dreaming about him again weren’t you?”

Callum nodded, leaning into Ben. 

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less if this house was a tip. It’s lived in isn’t it?” He smiled. 

“Suppose.” Callum whispered, the smallest smile on his face. 

“Besides, your never gonna get it tidy with Lex around? You sort one area and she’ll trash another. Believe me when I say I’ve tried.”

Callum gave a small laugh, Ben rubbing down his arm gently. 

“I don’t care?” Ben whispered to him again. 

“You probably think I’m stupid-“

“I’d never think that.” Ben added quickly. 

“I just feel like I need to do something.”

“He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Callum nodded, resting his head on Ben’s shoulder, closing his eyes. 

“I know it’s been a month, but it still feels weird tryna get used to this instead of before.”

“I know.” Ben whispered. 

Callum looked up at Ben, searching his eyes. 

“I just feel safer with you. I don’t want you to be any different or anything for me.”

“I won’t.” Ben nodded. 

“Go to work though, I’ll be okay. And don’t say Jay’s got it covered cos you haven’t been for weeks? And he doesn’t run the garage either, you do.”

“He knows I’m here with you though. Not just being lazy.” Ben smiled. 

“I don’t want you to change your life cos of me. Go to work, I’ll be fine.”

“Your definitely sure?”

Callum nodded, watching Ben disappear into the kitchen. 

“Try and eat this if you don’t wanna do anything else. You don’t wanna pass out again.”

Callum nodded, leaving the toast on the table. 

“Call me if you need me, yeah? You’ve got a key, I’ll lock you in anyway.”

“Course I will.” Callum nodded. 

“I don’t like leaving you on your own.” Ben whispered. 

“I just want you to do what you used to. Call you, got it, yeah?”

Ben nodded, hesitating before leaving him to it. 

Callum let out a shaky breath as soon as he’d gone, staring at the toast. The smell of it made him feel sick, chucking it in the bin instead. 

He hated himself for every single sense reminding him of Tyler, wishing he could just disappear somewhere or forget it all. 

Noises scared the life out of him, the slightest knock, things he saw took him back to the house, and even now a ordinary piece of toast, the smell making him feel sick, remembering the time he had the flu and Tyler never left his side. 

He slid down the wall in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest, sobbing to himself. 

Hurting Ben was the last thing he wanted. Feeling like he’d kept it in for days, Callum buried his head in his knees, sobbing to himself morphing into low moans, desperate for it all to stop. He knew Ben knew he wasn’t okay, but didn’t want to worry him even more about feeling like this. 

Callum didn’t know how long he sat on the floor, crying, choking out his sobs. He didn’t care, letting it all out on his own, sliding across and lying across the floor. 

~*~

“Callum?!” Kathy rushed to him, curled in a ball in the corner sobbing to himself. “What’s wrong?!”

“I’m fine.” He sniffled trying to wipe away his tears. 

“Your clearly not fine.” Kathy said firmly. 

She sat down next to him, Callum leaning into her sobbing to himself again. 

“I can’t do this, Kathy!” He cried, choking out his sobs. 

“Can’t do what? Your scaring me now.”

“Ben...” He whispered. 

“What about Ben? Has he upset you?”

Callum looked up quickly shaking his head. “No course not.”

“Then what??” She frowned, trying to work out what was wrong with him. 

“I can’t try and be strong for him anymore. It’s too hard.” He whispered. 

“Is this cos you’ve split up with Tyler?”

“Sort of...”

Neither said anything for a while, Kathy trying to calm him down. 

“You can talk to me, you know. If you don’t want it going further, it won’t.”

“I keep trying to be okay cos I know Ben worries about me so much, but it’s so hard...” He whispered. 

“I’m sure Ben would like to know how your feeling. He cares about you a lot.”

“I know.” Callum nodded. 

“What’s got you so upset then? I thought you wanted to split up with Tyler?”

“I do.”

Kathy sighed, Callum hardly giving her anything to go on. 

“Talk to me. It might help?”

Callum looked at her starting to cry again. 

“Nothing can help me anymore!”

“Come on, it’s something big isn’t it? This is why you’ve not been yourself for weeks and your scared to tell anyone.”

“Ben already knows...”

“Yeah?”

Callum nodded slowly, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“If it weren’t for Ben I’d probably be still there now...”

“With Tyler?” She frowned. “I know you fell out but I didn’t realise Ben had to come get you?”

Callum looked up at Kathy, needing to tell someone needing to get it out. He couldn’t keep it to himself any longer feeling like he was going crazy. 

“He saved my life.” Callum started. “Literally stopped Tyler from trying to kill me...”

“Kill you?! Why the hell would he try that?!”

“He hurt me cos he didn’t want me to go.”

“That’s just... possessive?” Callum said nothing, Kathy finally clicking on. “He didn’t...”

“Yeah...” Callum whispered. “Same thought as me when he first hurt me...”

“This has been going on for the whole while you’d been with him??”

“Not at the start, no. He was different, but he got upset one day cos I was gonna go and see Ben...”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to him, holding him close, unable to stop himself from sobbing again. 

Callum went quiet after a while, trying to dry his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to do anymore...”

“You’ve got us, course you have. You belong in this family too, you know.”

“Ben said something like that.” Callum smiled. 

“It’s true.” Kathy smiled. 

“I came round one day and Ben sorted me out after Tyler got angry at me again. I didn’t tell him it was Tyler straight away but Ben knew. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without him.”

“He just wants you to be happy.”

“I know. I keep trying to be strong for him, cos I know he worries so much but I don’t think I can...”

“You don’t have to keep it all to yourself. You’ve told Ben and me and maybe it might not help right now, but we’re still here whenever you need us, yeah?”

Callum nodded, wiping away small tears running down his face. “Jay knows too. I haven’t told anyone else. I can’t...”

“You need to do what makes you feel right. And if telling me helped, then that’s good. Maybe you don’t wanna tell anyone else but have you thought about going to the police, they’ll be able to help you too.”

Callum shook his head quickly, looking panicked again. 

“I can’t! You can’t either, promise me Kathy?!”

“Okay, okay.” She nodded, trying to calm him down again. “I just want you feel safe.”

“If they go and find him, he’ll just come straight back here and I can’t do it again, Kathy. I can’t!”

“I’m not gonna make you.”

Callum nodded slowly, making sure she was telling him the truth. 

~*~

Callum didn’t know how long he sat with her on the floor, maybe hours, needing to get it all out, telling her everything. 

“What’s happened??” Ben frowned, looking frantically between Kathy and Callum on the floor. 

Callum looked up at Ben’s voice, not realising he’d come home. 

“I’m fine, I promise.”

Ben glanced at Kathy, not sure if he should be saying anything in front of her. 

“I’ll leave you two to it. You gonna be okay for now?”

Callum nodded, standing up with her. “Thank you. Even if I did have a meltdown.”

Ben kept looking between them, trying to tell if Callum was talking about something else. 

“I’m only a phone call away.” She smiled. 

Ben watched Callum cross the room, lying across the sofa, closing his eyes. 

“Keep an eye on him, he’s fragile.” She whispered to him. 

Ben nodded, heading over to Callum when Kathy had left. 

Callum looked up at Ben, lifting his head up, Ben sliding in next to him. 

“You alright?” Ben whispered, Callum dropping his head back down into Ben’s lap. 

“I told Kathy.” He said instead.

“Everything?”

“Everything.” Callum nodded, closing his eyes again. He felt so tired, exhausted from everything, trying not to think about it all, apart from Ben’s fingers lightly stroking his hair. 

“Are you tired? You look knackered.”

Ben looked at Callum, ignoring him, already fallen asleep in his lap. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He smiled, playing with his hair.


	64. Chapter 64

“I’m fine, I ent gonna have another meltdown, just go to work, Ben.” Callum nodded. “Please.”

“Fine.” Ben groaned after refusing for the last hour. 

“Thank you.” Callum sighed, Ben finally giving in, needing something normal to happen right now. “Phone and your at the garage. Got it.” Callum finished for him, before he could say. 

“I just don’t want you to need me or something and I ent there?”

“Please, Ben, I need you to let me do this my way.”

“I know.” Ben sighed, looking up at him. He looked exhausted, drained. Like he was using all his energy just to keep himself going. 

~*~

“You okay??” 

Ben jumped, looking up at Jay, walking slowly into the Arches, placing a coffee on the side for him. 

“I’m alright.” Ben whispered, running his hand through his hair. 

“You look shattered.” 

Jay looked at Ben, slumped in the chair, not doing a lot, just staring at the car he was supposed to be sorting. 

“Dad’ll kill me if he finds out I haven’t done anything all day.” 

“Ben, come on?” Jay tried, knowing he was trying to avoid talking about himself. 

“I can’t say I’m shattered when Callum barely gets a few hours at night? And when he’s up he’s on edge all the time, barely eats a thing and looks like he’s gonna pass out again at any moment. I’m fine.” He insisted. 

“I know it’s hard for you too.” Jay told him, watching Ben half listening to him, busying himself in the engine of the car instead. 

“You know what?!” Ben cried all of a sudden, slamming the spanner down a little too hard. “I really wish I could throttle Tyler. No in fact, I wanna wrap my hands round his neck and stay there until he just... dies? Callum is terrified cos he’s still walking around like he’s won?! It ent fair, Jay!”

“I know, but you can’t. Callum would literally kill you too if you went and found him. He’s scared for you too, doesn’t want Tyler to hurt you either.”

“I know.” Ben sighed, sliding down the car, burying his head in his knees. “Doesn’t stop me from wanting to do it though.” 

“Trust me, I’d love nothing more, but Callum isn’t gonna thank you.”

“I don’t know what to do, Jay...”

Jay sat next to Ben, leaning against the car. 

“I just want to do one thing to make Callum feel a little better, but I don’t what or how or when? I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop him from hurting and it’s killing me.”

“You can’t...” Jay sighed. “You being there is helping Callum so much right now. We both know he needs you.”

“I want to make him feel like he’s still got a reason to live. It’s like he’s given up on life...”

“He’s not-“

“No, I don’t think so.” Ben finished. “He just wants it all to go away or stop. And I wish I could for him. I’d do anything to stop him from being so broken. Tyler didn’t just break him, it’s like he took away everything Callum was...”

“I know it’s hard but Callum will get there, I know he will.”

“I miss the old Callum...” Ben whispered. “Before he met Tyler. He was so happy and full of life and now it’s like he’s just gone?”

“Come ‘ere.” Jay sighed. Ben leaned into him, drying his tears, wishing he could make Callum better. 

“I don’t know if we’re ever gonna get the old him back... And I don’t know if sometimes he’s needs me or if he just wants me to leave him alone. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do, cos I don’t wanna push him back from where he’s come. He’s a little better after we both last saw Tyler but is still something innit?”

“Sometimes he’s gonna need you like crazy and other times he might just need to be on his own? Sort stuff sort out in his head.”

“I love him so much, Jay. I miss him. I just want him back, the old Callum...”

“I’ve got an idea of what you could do?”

“Yeah? I’ll take anything right now.“ Ben looked at Jay hopefully, willing to do anything.

“It might cheer him up a little, hopefully.”

“He don’t need cheering up, he needs to get better...”

“Give it time, yeah? It’s been a couple of months. He’d lived like that for two years, he’s bound to take a while to be himself again.”

“I guess so. I wanna know this idea though. I’ll do anything to help him.”

“You’d do anything to see him smile?”

“At least he isn’t hurting then? Come on tell me, I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really hating this fic atm, I’ve got more exciting ones in the future, but feel as these middle ones are dead boring. I’m sorry to you all, I am not good at writing atm. I’m sorry, I’m apologising for it being bad yet again, I will promise to sort it all out though. I think I need to go and change a few of the chapters I’ve already written.


	65. Chapter 65

“Wait, wait, wait! Stay there and close your eyes.” 

Callum stopped before walking into living room, listening to Ben calling to him. 

“What you doing in there?” Callum frowned. 

“Hold on, two minutes?”

“Come on, Ben, you know I hate surprises. Can’t your remember that time you tried to surprise me for my birthday?”

Callum smiled hearing, Ben laughing to himself. 

“You pinned me up against the door, Cal??”

“I didn’t know you’d let yourself into the flat?! You creeped me out being all cloak and dagger, all just to drag me to the pub?”

“It was so funny.”

“I nearly had a heart attack!”

“Okay, you can come in now.”

Callum squinted at Ben and Lexi standing in the middle of the living room, both looking pleased with themselves. 

“You weren’t supposed to come down yet.” Ben smiled. 

“Your the one who keeps telling me I should?!” Callum smiled at Ben anyway, knowing he was just trying to help. 

“Anyway, I know you said your... bored-“ He settled on, aware Lexi was still standing next to him. “-So I thought, well Jay thought, it’d be a good idea instead of you going wherever, we bring it to you!”

“I helped Daddy too!” Lexi piped up. 

“You were making cocktails with an 8 year old?” Callum squinted, his gaze landing on the table next to them. 

“Alright? She just sat there drinking the lemonade, I did the rest.” Ben grinned. “Anyway, I was supposed to be working, passed Lo and Lex and she wanted to come with me.”

“I had to supervise if Daddy was shopping for you?” Lexi grinned. 

“Err, excuse me, you practically blackmailed me into bringing you?”

Callum smiled at them both, frowning at each other. 

“You did all this for me?” 

Ben looked back up at Callum, not sure if he hated it or not. 

“Yeah but we can move it if you don’t like it? It was mostly Jay’s idea then Lex wanted to help.”

“No, don’t.” Callum said quickly. 

“Yeah?” Ben smiled. 

Callum nodded, still looking at everything. 

“Daddy wanted to make you happy again cos you’ve been sad recently.” Lexi told him, grabbing Callum’s hand, rushing over to the table, dragging him with her. 

“I will be darlin’.” Callum smiled.

Ben felt like he could cry at that simple sentence. Callum had insisted he didn’t think he could ever be happy again, and here he was not thinking about anything but focusing on Lexi. 

“Wait, you actually bought all this?” Callum frowned at Ben. 

“Yep. Well your clothes and most of your stuff isn’t... here?” Ben said instead. 

“You can’t just buy me a load of dead fancy shirts by the looks of it??”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. There’s your favourite aftershave in there too, just stuff I want you to have.” 

“You know I can’t accept all this. It must have cost a bomb?”

“That don’t matter, that ent even the best part.” Ben turned Callum around, facing the sofa. 

“I’m not following?”

“It’s like an at-home cinema?! Wait, did you bring your duvet down, Lex?”

“M-h. If your watching a movie, you gotta have the duvet! And popcorn and sweets.” She grinned. 

“Basically you’ve got the cinema there, the pub over there and all the your stuff over there? Jay suggested getting something of your own then me and Lex went a bit overboard and went all out. I just wanted to make sure you know you can have whatever you want.”

Callum turned back around, looking at Ben. 

“Your pretty amazing, you know that? Both of you.” He added, smiling at Lexi, eating sweets out of a bowl on the chair arm. 

“It’s been said.” Ben grinned. “Lex why don’t you go grab our duvet instead, it’ll cover us all then?”

Lex nodded, running off quickly. 

“Seriously, I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.” Ben smiled. “Just tell me you’ll keep the stuff.”

“You won’t take it back anyway.” Callum smiled. 

“Nope. And promise me you’ll eat this popcorn too, cos I’ll get fat if I eat it all.”

Callum rolled his eyes jokingly, sitting himself down on the sofa. “You’ll eat it all anyway. You always do.”

“I do not!” Ben cried, sitting next to him. 

“Come on, I remember once you ate the whole before the film even started!”

“Err, I think you’ll find I was feeding em to you.”

“Whatever you say.” Callum grinned.

They both looked up at Lexi running back into the room, chucking the large duvet over them both and dashing off to the kitchen. 

“What you up to now?” Ben smiled. 

“Getting more food!” She shouted back. 

Ben shook his head at her, looking down at Callum. 

“What you grinning at?” Ben smiled, looking at Callum shuffling into Ben’s side, closing his eyes. 

“Nothing, I just really like this. With you.”

“Me too.” Ben whispered, pressing a light kiss to the top of his head. He’d forgot for a second, both of them forgetting about it all for a while. 

Callum didn’t object, he just shuffled closer into Ben’s side, pulling the duvet over them further. 

“It’s comfy.” Callum sighed, still smiling to himself. 

“What me or the duvet?” He chuckled. 

“Both. Your like a human radiator.”

“I’ve been called many things in my life, but never that.”

Callum looked up at Ben, smiling at him. “There’s always something new with you. I’ve known you for what, like a hundred years and you still amaze me with stuff you come out with.”

“You were the one who said I was a human radiator!”

“It’s true though innit?”

“I’m a man of many layers.” Ben grinned.

“You just do everything for me and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“Your my best friend.” Ben smiled. 

“But your not? Your more than that.”

Ben searched Callum’s eyes, still looking up at him. 

“You know I love you and I know your not ready either.” Ben nodded. 

“I know you do but we both know we ent just friends, Ben. And I do wanna be with you one day, but I just can’t do what your supposed to in a relationship.”

“Who says you’ve got to do what everyone else does? You are you and I love you for that, not what other people do?”

“I don’t deserve you.” 

“You deserve everything.” Ben smiled. 

Callum wrapped his arm around his Ben’s front, resting his head against his chest. 

“I wanna be with you now?” Callum whispered. “I trust you.”

“I’m glad you can.”

“No, I’m being serious, Ben?” Callum nodded, looking back up at him. “Like today? You’ve done all this for me and to others it’s just ordinary stuff and a movie but to me it means everything. For months you’ve been looking after me always putting me first before yourself. If that doesn’t show me I know what I want then I don’t know what will?”

Ben smiled softly, Callum looking up at him, waiting for him to answer. 

“Are you a hundred percent sure about this?”

“Yeah?” Callum nodded. “It won’t be much different anyway. I just can’t do any of the intimate stuff.”

“I know, I know, don’t worry about it.”

“I like this though?”

Ben smiled at Callum, grinning to himself under the duvet. 

“I can tell! I’ve missed seeing you smile like that.” Ben whispered. 

“I’ve missed being happy...”

“You are?”

Callum looked up at Ben, looking like he wanted to cry. “Under here with you, definitely.“ He smiled. 

“Think that’s the best thing you’ve ever said to me? I just want you to be happy again.”

“And Lex, wherever she is?” Callum frowned. 

As if on cue, Lexi came through to the living room, chucking a load of bags of crisps and chocolate on Callum. 

“Your gonna be sick, Lex!” Callum chuckled. 

“We gotta have crisps and chocolate to go with the sweets and popcorn?” 

Callum smiled at Lexi, looking at him like he should have known that all along. 

“Course. You getting in here then, we can watch whatever you like.”

Lexi jumped onto the sofa next to Callum under the duvet already tucking into the sweets. 

“Not too many, yeah?” Ben nodded. “You’ll be running around the place at bedtime?”

“M-h.” Lexi nodded, shoving some more into her mouth anyway.

“The alcohol when Lex has gone bed?” Ben whispered to Callum. 

“Defo.” Callum grinned. “And I’m picking the film too, your taste in movies is horrendous!”

“Whatever you like. As long as it ent princesses or something girly with a ton of songs in it. I don’t know how much more my eyes can take.”

“Give over.” Callum chuckled. “Says the guy who watches Hannah Montana and always singing the songs to yourself.”

“Yeah, but-“ Ben cut himself off, shaking his head at Callum. He’d never win. 

Ben smiled to himself, looking at them both, Lexi snuggled into Callum’s side, stroking her hair slowly, his other arm wrapped around Ben’s front, all under the duvet. His people. His family. He didn’t think he could ask for anything that would make him anymore happy than he was now. As long as they were both happy and safe, so was he.


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve still got Mick behind the bar cos he was when I started this fic :)

“Take me out.” Callum blurted out.

Ben looked up from his coffee, opposite Callum at the table, actually beginning to eat recently. 

“Take you where?” Ben frowned. 

“I dunno. I’m bored here, I mean you said the other day-“

“That was cos Lex was there, I know your still worried about it. I didn’t mean bored exactly?”

“I know, but I can’t stay in this house all day forever. And I am bored.”

“Yeah, okay.” Ben smiled. Ever since that day the three of them spent together, Callum had seemed different. Like he was finally able to move on. He didn’t know if it was from that day specifically or Lexi. She was the only thing that made him smile half the time, now he looked a little more like his old self more everyday.

“Besides I ent gonna wear those shirts you bought me here am I?”

“Can’t remember the last time I seen you in anything other than my dressing gown?” Ben grinned. 

“It’s comfy!” Callum defended. “Seriously, I just wanna do something?”

“Walk?”

“Maybe, just summut-“

“Don’t say ‘normal’.” Ben smiled. 

“Fine. Just something then? You know what I’d love right now? A proper pint.”

“To the pub it is then! Maybe later though, it still early.” He smiled. 

“Just a bit.” 

He didn’t think it could ever grow old every time Callum smiled.

“What?” Callum frowned, noticing Ben’s gaze. 

“Nothing. It’s just nice to see a bit of the old you, that’s all. It’s really nice.”

Callum dipped his head, a shy smile on his face. 

“I’ve got a lot of you to thank for that.” 

“Not really. I told you, your strong. Start believing me.”

“Oh stop being you and get to work?” Callum grinned instead. “We’ll go later.”

“Alright, Mum!”

“Actually, your at the car lot aren’t you? Can I come with you?”

“If you want. I’ll even let you sit in my comfy spinny chair. I don’t let just anyone sit there, you know? You gotta be special.”

Callum beamed at Ben, Ben swearing he could see a sparkle in Callum’s eye, something he’d lost a long time ago. 

~*~

“Can you remember that time, we went to this new club and I got that drunk-“

“I had to carry you home?” Ben finished, looking up at Callum spinning slowly around his chair. 

“No that was a different time. I meant I got that drunk, I tripped over into someone’s table. I remember em having a go at me.”

“And you just sat there giggling to yourself like you always get when your drunk?” Ben smiled. 

“Ay, but you put em straight. I might have been drunk, but you still had a go back?”

“Yeah cos they we’re getting rowdy and aggressive cos they were drunk themselves.”

Callum hummed, remembering it himself. 

“What made you think of that anyway?” 

“Just thinking about you, sticking up for me even back then. I’d never really noticed it much before, but it just stands out now.”

“Yeah well, I just wanna make sure your safe.”

“You always do.” Callum smiled looking up at Ben sitting on the sofa, with his knees up, doing paperwork. 

Callum crossed the room sitting opposite Ben, his feet lightly touching against Ben’s. They fell into a comfortable silence whilst Ben worked. 

“Did I really break your heart when I said I was with Tyler?” Callum whispered after a while. 

“Not heartbroken? Let’s just say deflated?” He wasn’t lying, just bending the truth? It was the last thing on his mind to upset Callum again. 

“I know I hurt you a lot...”

“Come on, Tyler twisted things a lot too? Made it sound worse.”

“Maybe he was right about that one thing though?”

“I’m with you now?” He tried instead. 

“I suppose...” 

Ben shut the file quickly, making Callum jump slightly, muttering a quick apology. 

“Come on you, don’t know about you but I fancy a pint. How about we go now?”

“You haven’t finished have you?” Callum frowned. 

Ben shrugged, chucking it on the side, standing up. 

“You coming?”

“Course.” Callum smiled, following Ben suit. 

They fell into step beside each other, Callum lacing his hand around Ben’s. 

“Haven’t seen you in here for a while?” Mick acknowledged. 

“Been busy I guess?” It was a lame excuse, but Mick didn’t press. 

“I hear you’ve moved in with this one here, you two a thing now?” Mick nodded to their hands together. 

“Call it whatever you wish, Mick.”

“I’ll get em in, you alright to go find a table?” Ben told him instead.

Callum nodded, letting go of his hand, Ben watching him find a table right in the corner.

“Is he alright?” Mick frowned, pulling a pint for them both.

“It’s still raw, I think.”

“He split from Tyler months ago didn’t he?” 

“He was with him for two years, Mick? He ent just gonna forget in a short time.” 

It made him sick covering up for Tyler, when all he wanted to do was shout from the rooftops what a manipulating bastard he was.

“Just don’t go keep mentioning it, yeah? Cheers for these.”

Callum looked up at Ben, sitting next to him, sliding a pint over. 

“You seen this?” Callum smiled, turning his phone for Ben to look at. 

“I see Lexi’s already cracked your passcode then?”

Callum shrugged, smiling at the search history in his phone, all dresses and more teddys for her room. “Oh well, she’ll be getting me to download those annoying games next. They make her happy anyway.”

“You ought to be careful, you know once, I answered the door and this delivery guy had boxes literally stacked up by the door, full of random stuff. Glitter, dresses, colouring stuff. Whatever you name it, she had it. She’d nicked my phone again.”

Callum smiled to himself, it was uncanny how much she was like her father. “If she wants something she’ll get it.”

“My bank balance didn’t ‘get it’. I thought someone was tryna empty my bank account!”

“You reckon I upset, Mick? I was a bit rude.”

“Nah, he’ll be fine. He’s just worried about you too, he’s practically like your Dad?”

“Least he takes an interest.” Callum huffed. 

“Come on, we ent gonna think about anyone who doesn’t care about you. This was supposed to be something nice for you. A toast?”

“A toast?? To what?”

“Erm, kicking the bad things outta your life and keeping the good.” 

“Yeah.” Callum smiled, clinking his glass against Ben’s lightly and drinking some. 

“I know I’ve said, but I am proud of you.”

“Not many people would be proud of someone drinking in their local.” Callum smiled. 

“Yeah well, this is good for you. Just take it.” Ben smiled. 

“I just don’t want him to ruin my life anymore? He took everything away from me. I’ve only just got you back-“

“You never lost me, yeah? Not even for a second.”

“I know.” Callum smiled. “It just felt like I did, I guess. I don’t wanna let him win?”

“I’ll drink to that.”

~*~

“Thanks for this evening it’s actually been really nice.”

“You can’t help but have a good time with the company of yours truly.” Ben grinned, swinging their hands together gently. 

“Oh right, should have known that was it.” Callum rolled his eyes jokingly, walking slowly along with Ben. 

“I’m just glad your don’t feel so scared.”

“It’s still there in the back of my mind, I guess it always is. But I suppose if I’m with you or Lex it takes my mind of it a bit.”

Callum followed Ben into the house, chucking himself down on the sofa. 

“You look shattered.” Ben smiled, sitting next to him. 

“I’m alright, can’t keep up with you can I?” Callum grinned, lying across the sofa, resting his head in Ben’s lap. “Film?”

“Don’t mind.” Ben shrugged, lacing his hand through his hair. He’d do anything Callum wanted to. 

Ben smiled at Callum, settling into him making himself comfy. 

~*~

Ben looked up at the front door slamming, looking back at Callum.

“Probably just Mum or Dad?” Ben whispered to him anyway. 

“M’kay.” Callum mumbled, still not looking away from the Tv. He shuffled a little closer into Ben, letting Ben wrap his arm around him.

“You know what Dad’s like with doors, can’t shut em quietly.” Ben told him, still stroking his hair. 

He didn’t even jump anymore, giving Ben a nod, and carrying on watching the film. 

“Well isn’t this cosy?”

Ben looked up not recognising the voice straight away, Callum instantly knowing who it was, jumping up off the sofa. 

“Tyler?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit random, but I’m hating my fics atm and know I need to improve a lot. I’ve already stated a new fic, again :), not this or Insomia, but I need to work on other stuff other than dialogue cos I know a lot of my fics is that. I just want to know what you guys think I need to do better, cos if I get feedback from you, hopefully I’ll know what I’m doing wrong! I’m testing out deeper descriptions of things and paragraphs in my new fic, so I know that’s one thing.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for waffling, I’d just like your opinions. Xx


	67. Chapter 67

“Having a cosy film night are we? What we watching then?”

“‘We’ aren’t watching anything.” Ben hissed, standing next to Callum. 

“A bit of Romeo and Juliet? Cos we all know how that one ends.”

“You stay away from him!” Ben hissed. 

Tyler ignored Ben too busy smiling at Callum. 

“Or maybe Titanic??”

“What do you want, Tyler?” Callum whispered. 

“You of course?”

“Callum is going nowhere with you!” Ben cried. “Not after I left you alone with him last time.”

“That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t got in the way.” He hissed.

“You mean if I didn’t find out what you’d been doing to him for years!”

“We all know that was a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?! Are you actually joking! You used him as your punch bag for god knows how long. Your twisted.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. 

Ben glanced at Callum, already crumbling. Everything he’d worked so hard for, gone in an instant just by seeing Tyler again. 

“Just get out, or I will do exactly the same as before. If you touch him, I will bury you so far deep, no one will ever find you.”

“Your all talk, Ben Mitchell. I ent afraid of you??”

Ben lurched forward, clenching his jaw, Callum instantly wrapping his arm around him, pulling him back. 

“Don’t. Please, Ben.”

“You’d already be lying in that grave if it were up to me.” He seethed. 

Tyler smirked at him, taking a step back. 

“You need to calm your anger down. All this rage isn’t good for poor Callum.” He smiled.

“Your not right in the head! You know exactly what you did to him. Don’t you dare start lecturing me?”

“Or. What.”

Ben loosened himself from Callum’s grip, surging forward and slamming Tyler against the wall. 

“Ben!” 

Ben ignored Callum, shoving him up the wall a little harder. 

“Or I will mess you up so bad, you won’t be able to walk. You’ll be begging me to end you.”

“Go for it.”

“Ben, stop it!” Callum snapped. 

Ben glared at Tyler for a second longer, slowly uncurling his hands and stepping back. 

“One move and I won’t stop myself.” He warned. 

“What’s this?” Tyler smiled. “Does he answer to you now? Oh how the tables have turned.”

Ben clenched his jaw, desperate to hit him. 

“Why are you even here?” Callum asked again. 

“I already said, didn’t I? Come home with me.”

Ben looked at Callum, actually laughing. “Your kidding?”

Tyler glared at him, clearly not enjoying it. 

“I will never go with you, anywhere. Ever. Again.” Callum smiled. 

“Your telling me you haven’t missed me?” Tyler grinned. “You can’t handle it anymore.”

“Cos I’m not scared of you anymore?!” 

“Why are standing behind him then?” Callum stood next to him instead, lacing his hand around Ben’s hand. 

“We never had love?! We never had anything apart from you trying to control me every single day of my life and I won’t let you anymore?!”

“I’m surprised actually? I thought it would be easier than this.”

“Cos I’m happy?! And I ent gonna let you take that away from me again!”

“Come on, you don’t want him?? Or you’d have been with him before you even met me.”

“I don’t want you!” Callum cried. “Ben, I wanna do it.” 

Tyler frowned at them both, looking between them. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes! Just call em...”

“I’m not leaving you with him.”

“Just do it, Ben, please.”

Ben nodded, still keeping an eye on them both until he disappeared.

“He better not be ringing the police?” Tyler hissed, stepping away from the wall he was still pressed against. 

Callum took a few steps, backwards away from him, saying nothing. 

“You little-“ He started, turning around as Ben stood back in the doorway, smiling at him. 

“Your not going anywhere.” Ben grinned, holding up the key, making him more annoyed. 

“Your stuff’s still at home?” He said instead, turning his attention back to Callum. 

“I don’t want it. Have it all, I don’t want anything that you bought.”

Ben smiled at Callum, still standing behind Tyler incase he tried to get to him. He knew better than to think Callum wasn’t scared. He was probably terrified, but he didn’t show that to Tyler, staring him down. 

“It wasn’t my stuff, was it? It was stuff you let me have?”

“Come and get it now then?”

“You might think I am, but I’m not stupid. I’m not going anywhere with you and I’m not gonna open the door either.”

“Your choice.” Tyler shrugged. 

“A, a, a. I don’t think so.” Ben said quickly, pulling Tyler back. “What did I say about touching him.” Ben hissed in his ear. 

“I can do what like, so how about you get your hands of me.” 

Ben struggled to keep him still, pretty strong against his grip. 

“Stay still before I end up doing something I regret.” Ben seethed.

“Ben, just leave it.” Callum tried. 

“You need to learn when someone says stop, you stop. You hear me?” 

“Loud and clear.” Tyler smiled both of them still struggling. 

Ben groaned when Tyler freed himself from Ben’s grasp, punching him square across his face.

“Ben!”

“I’m okay.” Ben muttered quickly, punching him back. “You bastard.” He hissed. 

Callum wasn’t sure what to do, frantically looking between them, both on the floor, seemingly taking it in turn to hit each other. 

“Woah, woah! You said it’s urgent, but this!” 

Callum looked up at Jack walking into the living room, pulling Ben off Tyler. 

“What the hell do you think your doing, Ben!”

“He is a little shit who needs locking up and throwing away the key!”

“Just calm down!” Jack snapped. 

Ben rolled his eyes but stayed where he was, glaring at Tyler moaning to himself. 

“I thought you said the police, Ben not Jack?” Callum whispered. 

“I’m sorry, it’s quicker if Jack came? I didn’t say anything, I thought you might have wanted to tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Jack frowned looking between them. 

“Jack will believe you, I promise, he knows you. I just told him to get round as fast as he could.”

“Is someone gonna explain what’s happening here? Apart from you two knocking seven bells out of each other?”

Tyler pulled himself up, Jack pushing him back down on the chair. 

“Stay there.” Jack warned. “What the hell are you doing, Ben??”

“Who’s this, your bodyguard?” Tyler seethed. 

“I’m police actually, so I suggest you stay quiet before you say something wrong.”

“How do I know he’s not just another of your ‘friends’?”

Jack flashed him his badge, staring him down, daring him to get back up again. 

Ben smirked at Tyler keeping quiet, still glaring at him. 

“Cal...” Ben nodded to Jack, encouraging him. “I promise your gonna be okay.”

“Is someone gonna tell me, or I am gonna have to arrest you both?”

“I was looking out for Callum!” Ben protested. 

“I can’t, Ben...”

Callum shook his head at Ben, sinking down at the chair at the table. 

“You need to let Jack know?” Ben whispered, crouching down next to Callum. 

“I’ve already said, Ben! Who’s gonna believe me?!”

“Jack will for a start! I’ll tell him if you want?”

Callum nodded slowly, searching Ben’s eyes. “Your gonna be fine.” Ben nodded standing back up. 

“What is he have supposed to have done?” Jack frowned. 

“You can see he’s in a state right? Because THAT man had been manipulating him for years and abusing him!”

“Abuse? This is serious, if your suggesting-“

“I’m not suggesting! I know! Jack come on, you know Callum? He wouldn’t lie about something like this?”

“Callum?” Jack nodded. 

Callum looked up slowly at his name, not sure who was speaking to him, everything becoming a haze. 

“Please, Jack, just take him will you?” Ben tried. 

“Is what Ben’s saying right?” Jack said anyway.

Ben felt his heart break at Callum giving as the slightest nod, small tears starting to slip down his cheeks. 

“Your gonna have to come with me.” Jack told Tyler. 

“Cal, look at me your gonna be fine, yeah?” Ben whispered to him. Callum shook his head quickly, squeezing his eyes shut. “You will be? I promise.”

Neither of them noticed Jack taking Tyler, Ben too busy trying to get Callum to listen. 

“Please come to the police with me.” Ben whispered to him, holding both of his hands. 

“No! No, no, I can’t Ben, I can’t cos no one will believe me?”

“They will??” Ben nodded quickly. 

“You don’t know him, Ben? He’ll twist it and tell them I’m lying or making things up when I haven’t! I swear, Ben, I haven’t!”

“I know, I know.” Ben soothed, Callum struggling to breathe again. “You haven’t, yeah? I know you haven’t. They will believe you cos you are honest and only you know what went on. No one else can tell them.”

“I can’t...” Callum whispered, still shaking his head slowly in Ben’s hands. “He’s right I ent strong at all, I’m not anyone special?”

“You are everything, Callum. Everything.” Ben wiped away his tears, helping him slowly return his breathing to normal. “I love you, your gonna be okay, yeah?”

Callum nodded quickly trying to convince himself more than anything. 

“Come ‘ere.” Ben sighed, guiding them both onto the sofa and gathering Callum in his arms. “I promise I’m not gonna let anyone else touch you.”

Callum didn’t say anything for a while, resting his head in Ben’s lap, letting him stroke his hair.

~*~

“Will you come with me?”

Ben looked down at Callum, neither of them speaking for so long. He thought he’d fallen asleep. 

“Really??”

“I’m not going without you?” 

“Course I will, I just meant you’ll actually go?”

Callum nodded slowly, curling himself even tighter. He had to do it. If he wanted Tyler out of his life forever, it was the only way. 

“Whenever your ready.” Ben whispered to him. 

“Now.” He replied instantly. “I need to do this now, before I change my mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this and I’m tempted to not continue :) I’ve had really bad writers block these past few weeks and have just resorted to posting fics from my drafts, I haven written for about a month! Anyways, I’m not sure how to get myself out of this rut, but I’m open for ideas ;)


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